A/N: My apologies for taking so long to update. My computer just up and
died several weeks ago, well as far as internet connection is concerned,
and I have been disconnected from all of you. The time off found me quite
anxious to write, however, and I've had enough time to produce several
chapters. I hope you like them and look forward to reviews of every sort,
except unproductive ones, of course. i.e. "Snape is sooooo hot."
Nothing like that please.
White Flag
"I will go down with this ship; I won't throw my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door; I'm in love and always will be."
--Dido
This was becoming a familiar ritual for Narnia. Her last trek to Severus' office was quite different however, with thoughts of how to apologize polluting her mind. She was grateful that was behind them, though knowing he had been a Death Eater and currently seemed to be masquerading as one still created the occasional doubt. This had been the result of her mind turning it over and over, but in the end, she let her feelings for him always squash her misgivings. She had hoped his return to Hogwarts would be under better circumstances, but the current situation made this journey to his office bittersweet. The past days must have been intense for him and if just to simply offer a listening ear, she wanted him to know she was there.
As she walked along the corridors, she smoothed her hands across her robes. She was nervous to see him again, alone. Her hope had been that the past two days hadn't found him regretting his actions in her office prior to his leaving. Confident that what had passed between them was sincere she quickened her pace. Though the time he had been away found her desiring to be in his arms again, for unlimited amounts of time, her current concern was to make sure he was all right.
After reaching his door, knocking, and hearing no reply, she waited only for a moment before stepping inside. The only sound was that of her heart beating in her ears. She sighed in disappointment, but an idea popped into her mind. Walking over to Severus' desk, she found a scrap piece of parchment and jotted down a message.
Dinner. My quarters. Seven.
Glad you're back,
N.F.
Narnia stared at her writing before folding the paper and placing it in line of sight. She scribbled his name on the outside to ensure his receiving it and smiling to herself, she left to prepare.
After making arrangements with the house elves, Narnia indulged in a long, hot bath. Leaning her head back against the cool porcelain, she took a deep breath. For the first time that day, her mind had the chance to relax. The weight of what had transpired earlier finally began to come down upon her. She and Remus had discussed the Azkaban breakout, but she, at least, had still been in a state of shock over the news. Closing her eyes, she allowed only a few tears to stream down her cheeks. If ever there was a time to be strong, it was now and letting fear grip her wouldn't be appropriate. Steeling her resolve, she sat up and focused her thought on tonight.
After debating with herself over shaving her legs, Narnia finally gave in, though it was not her intention to invite Severus into her bed so quickly. Remus had advised her to go slowly and she agreed. In addition, she did not want Severus to think he could acquire those attentions from her so quickly, though she had no doubt she would crumble if he put forth the effort. In her appearance, she would pay attention to every detail. If she felt sexy, he would think her so. To entice him was her goal and though she had never desired these attentions from a man before, that was all changing, and she hoped she would be able to feed what he already felt towards her.
With her wet hair spilling down her back, she slipped into her silk robe and made her way to where her gowns were hanging. As she was just deciding to wear the emerald green velvet dress, she heard a familiar voice calling to her from the front room.
"Let the game begin," she thought to herself. Running her fingers through her hair once more and securing her robe, she walked to the fireplae where Severus' head was staring back at her.
"May I?" he asked.
"Of course," Narnia replied and Severus Snape stepped into the sitting room where she stood.
Narnia began to step closer towards him, noticing her invitation to dinner clutched in his hand, but stopped when he moved further from her, as if she was plagued with disease, placing himself behind her chair. Her smile faded at his rigid manner.
"For future reference, it would be appreciated, Professor, if you were to stay out of my classroom or any other of my rooms, for that matter, unless given permission to do so. I believe I only required your presence in the dungeons through yesterday, yet you barge into my office today, in my absence. It is an annoying habit you have and I have tolerated it long enough."
Narnia narrowed her eyes at him, disbelieving what she was hearing. If he had ever been uncomfortable with something, he usually made it known right away. This was the last thing she had expected from him.
"Severus, I---"Narnia began.
"Apparently, you have gained the wrong impression," he interrupted coolly.
She only stood there in an awed silence, staring at him. With a clam voice of defeat, aware that he had likely thought things through, his request seemingly a cover for his decision to distance himself, Narnia replied, "Yes, obviously I have. I was quite mistaken to think you could let me in, let me care for you." His demeanor remained unchanged and he abruptly turned to leave. Just before entering the hearth, he stopped at her words, not turning to face her. "I'll honor your demand, but know this. No matter how hard you push me away, you can't and won't stop how I feel about you."
Without lingering, he vanished, leaving Narnia to numbly stare at the floor. Her last words had sounded desperate, but she was tired of sitting on the seesaw of her emotions. She had hoped her statement would bring him back across the room and into her arms, but she had known it foolish to think he would react in such a way. If her feelings were obvious to everyone else, why shouldn't she make them known to him? After an indefinite amount of time had passed, she summoned a house elf to cancel her evening's plans. Not a day in which she could hide out in her room, she walked back into her bedroom and suppressing a fleeting moment of anguish, she slipped into the green velvet dress, defiantly, and decided that not all her plans had to be cancelled. Tears were not an option she wished to pursue. She decided her ally would be a stronger will, to break through the walls Severus was so determined to fortify.
Narnia took one last look in the mirror before leaving for dinner. She had planned on wearing her hair down earlier, but eventually came to the decision to put it up, loosely, with several curls falling gently to decorate her neck. Staring at her reflection, she grinned impishly at herself. If her prior state of being scantily clad had not conjured the desired effect, her appearance at present was sure to, providing Severus with a good look at what he was turning away from.
Entering the Great Hall, Narnia was aware of several heads turning in her direction. This reaction was to her delight and produced a wide smile across her face. Taking her seat and looking down the table, she noticed a visitor had joined them for the evening meal. Ignoring Snape, she turned in the opposite direction to ask another colleague about their guest. Before she was able to inquire, the Headmaster stood to make the introduction.
"It is a pleasure to have Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic joining us for dinner this evening. I know all of you will make him feel welcome." Those gathered for dinner applauded casually and her uncle continued on. "Without further ado..." Dumbledore waved his hands and the meal commenced.
Despite the silence between them, Narnia held her composure and fortitude to not let Snape get the best of her. She simply overlooked his presence at the table and engaged herself in conversation with other staff members. At the conclusion of dinner, her uncle motioned for her to join him, along with Cornelius Fudge, who was already beaming at her. "Narnia, I would like to introduce you to Cornelius Fudge," Dumbledore stated, looking from Narnia to the Minister of Magic.
"Pleasure, my dear. I must say, I doubt you have any trouble holding the attention of our young men in your classes, "Fudge complimented and then looking over her shoulder, added, "Wouldn't you agree Snape?"
Unaware that he had been standing behind her, Narnia neglected to turn and face him, but stiffened slightly at the revelation. An uncomfortable silence passed before her uncle interjected. "Another of Professor Fairling's charming attributes is her intellect and ability to teach. I'm sure that alone holds our students captive." Turning back to Narnia, he continued, "If you'll excuse us. The Minister is here on business other than paying compliments to our female staff members," he finished with a chuckle.
Feeling the blush in her cheeks, she decided to make light of the situation with her reply. "Compliments such as yours, Minister, never go unappreciated. It was a pleasure to have met you at last." She bowed her head and turning to leave, she bumped into Snape, oblivious to how close he was actually standing to her. She glanced up at him impatiently and met his eyes for a moment, his expression unreadable. He shifted sideways to let her pass. Without looking back, she left the Hall and on her way to retire for the evening, she wondered just what his reaction had been to the Minister's inquiry.
White Flag
"I will go down with this ship; I won't throw my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door; I'm in love and always will be."
--Dido
This was becoming a familiar ritual for Narnia. Her last trek to Severus' office was quite different however, with thoughts of how to apologize polluting her mind. She was grateful that was behind them, though knowing he had been a Death Eater and currently seemed to be masquerading as one still created the occasional doubt. This had been the result of her mind turning it over and over, but in the end, she let her feelings for him always squash her misgivings. She had hoped his return to Hogwarts would be under better circumstances, but the current situation made this journey to his office bittersweet. The past days must have been intense for him and if just to simply offer a listening ear, she wanted him to know she was there.
As she walked along the corridors, she smoothed her hands across her robes. She was nervous to see him again, alone. Her hope had been that the past two days hadn't found him regretting his actions in her office prior to his leaving. Confident that what had passed between them was sincere she quickened her pace. Though the time he had been away found her desiring to be in his arms again, for unlimited amounts of time, her current concern was to make sure he was all right.
After reaching his door, knocking, and hearing no reply, she waited only for a moment before stepping inside. The only sound was that of her heart beating in her ears. She sighed in disappointment, but an idea popped into her mind. Walking over to Severus' desk, she found a scrap piece of parchment and jotted down a message.
Dinner. My quarters. Seven.
Glad you're back,
N.F.
Narnia stared at her writing before folding the paper and placing it in line of sight. She scribbled his name on the outside to ensure his receiving it and smiling to herself, she left to prepare.
After making arrangements with the house elves, Narnia indulged in a long, hot bath. Leaning her head back against the cool porcelain, she took a deep breath. For the first time that day, her mind had the chance to relax. The weight of what had transpired earlier finally began to come down upon her. She and Remus had discussed the Azkaban breakout, but she, at least, had still been in a state of shock over the news. Closing her eyes, she allowed only a few tears to stream down her cheeks. If ever there was a time to be strong, it was now and letting fear grip her wouldn't be appropriate. Steeling her resolve, she sat up and focused her thought on tonight.
After debating with herself over shaving her legs, Narnia finally gave in, though it was not her intention to invite Severus into her bed so quickly. Remus had advised her to go slowly and she agreed. In addition, she did not want Severus to think he could acquire those attentions from her so quickly, though she had no doubt she would crumble if he put forth the effort. In her appearance, she would pay attention to every detail. If she felt sexy, he would think her so. To entice him was her goal and though she had never desired these attentions from a man before, that was all changing, and she hoped she would be able to feed what he already felt towards her.
With her wet hair spilling down her back, she slipped into her silk robe and made her way to where her gowns were hanging. As she was just deciding to wear the emerald green velvet dress, she heard a familiar voice calling to her from the front room.
"Let the game begin," she thought to herself. Running her fingers through her hair once more and securing her robe, she walked to the fireplae where Severus' head was staring back at her.
"May I?" he asked.
"Of course," Narnia replied and Severus Snape stepped into the sitting room where she stood.
Narnia began to step closer towards him, noticing her invitation to dinner clutched in his hand, but stopped when he moved further from her, as if she was plagued with disease, placing himself behind her chair. Her smile faded at his rigid manner.
"For future reference, it would be appreciated, Professor, if you were to stay out of my classroom or any other of my rooms, for that matter, unless given permission to do so. I believe I only required your presence in the dungeons through yesterday, yet you barge into my office today, in my absence. It is an annoying habit you have and I have tolerated it long enough."
Narnia narrowed her eyes at him, disbelieving what she was hearing. If he had ever been uncomfortable with something, he usually made it known right away. This was the last thing she had expected from him.
"Severus, I---"Narnia began.
"Apparently, you have gained the wrong impression," he interrupted coolly.
She only stood there in an awed silence, staring at him. With a clam voice of defeat, aware that he had likely thought things through, his request seemingly a cover for his decision to distance himself, Narnia replied, "Yes, obviously I have. I was quite mistaken to think you could let me in, let me care for you." His demeanor remained unchanged and he abruptly turned to leave. Just before entering the hearth, he stopped at her words, not turning to face her. "I'll honor your demand, but know this. No matter how hard you push me away, you can't and won't stop how I feel about you."
Without lingering, he vanished, leaving Narnia to numbly stare at the floor. Her last words had sounded desperate, but she was tired of sitting on the seesaw of her emotions. She had hoped her statement would bring him back across the room and into her arms, but she had known it foolish to think he would react in such a way. If her feelings were obvious to everyone else, why shouldn't she make them known to him? After an indefinite amount of time had passed, she summoned a house elf to cancel her evening's plans. Not a day in which she could hide out in her room, she walked back into her bedroom and suppressing a fleeting moment of anguish, she slipped into the green velvet dress, defiantly, and decided that not all her plans had to be cancelled. Tears were not an option she wished to pursue. She decided her ally would be a stronger will, to break through the walls Severus was so determined to fortify.
Narnia took one last look in the mirror before leaving for dinner. She had planned on wearing her hair down earlier, but eventually came to the decision to put it up, loosely, with several curls falling gently to decorate her neck. Staring at her reflection, she grinned impishly at herself. If her prior state of being scantily clad had not conjured the desired effect, her appearance at present was sure to, providing Severus with a good look at what he was turning away from.
Entering the Great Hall, Narnia was aware of several heads turning in her direction. This reaction was to her delight and produced a wide smile across her face. Taking her seat and looking down the table, she noticed a visitor had joined them for the evening meal. Ignoring Snape, she turned in the opposite direction to ask another colleague about their guest. Before she was able to inquire, the Headmaster stood to make the introduction.
"It is a pleasure to have Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic joining us for dinner this evening. I know all of you will make him feel welcome." Those gathered for dinner applauded casually and her uncle continued on. "Without further ado..." Dumbledore waved his hands and the meal commenced.
Despite the silence between them, Narnia held her composure and fortitude to not let Snape get the best of her. She simply overlooked his presence at the table and engaged herself in conversation with other staff members. At the conclusion of dinner, her uncle motioned for her to join him, along with Cornelius Fudge, who was already beaming at her. "Narnia, I would like to introduce you to Cornelius Fudge," Dumbledore stated, looking from Narnia to the Minister of Magic.
"Pleasure, my dear. I must say, I doubt you have any trouble holding the attention of our young men in your classes, "Fudge complimented and then looking over her shoulder, added, "Wouldn't you agree Snape?"
Unaware that he had been standing behind her, Narnia neglected to turn and face him, but stiffened slightly at the revelation. An uncomfortable silence passed before her uncle interjected. "Another of Professor Fairling's charming attributes is her intellect and ability to teach. I'm sure that alone holds our students captive." Turning back to Narnia, he continued, "If you'll excuse us. The Minister is here on business other than paying compliments to our female staff members," he finished with a chuckle.
Feeling the blush in her cheeks, she decided to make light of the situation with her reply. "Compliments such as yours, Minister, never go unappreciated. It was a pleasure to have met you at last." She bowed her head and turning to leave, she bumped into Snape, oblivious to how close he was actually standing to her. She glanced up at him impatiently and met his eyes for a moment, his expression unreadable. He shifted sideways to let her pass. Without looking back, she left the Hall and on her way to retire for the evening, she wondered just what his reaction had been to the Minister's inquiry.