Thanks for all the reviews. I will try not to be so repetitive with the "Said." TURTLES ARE NOT MINE!!!!
God he screwed up bad. Good news was Leo didn't hate him, bad news Leo knew Raph hated him. God, how could he of done this? Did he hate Leo so much that he wanted him dead? Leo will avoid him like the plague now. He needed to talk to Leo, to tell him he didn't really hate him, but did he? God he was stupid. Raph knew he should get up and start the day, but sometimes its better to just hide your head, and right now that's all he wanted to do. Splinter was supposed to be home this afternoon from his Sabbatical, and the look on Splinters face when he sees his son... God, life just sucks. "Screw this!" I'm no chicken, I really didn't know what I was doing so I shouldn't get in that much trouble, but Splinter will be disappointed in me, and his NUMBER 1 son will get all the sympathy and all the fatherly love and I'll get the disapproving look and the lectures. "GOD I HATE HIM!" No, no I don't what the shell? I got to stop thinking I need to get out of here.
Raph got up, put on his mask and pads, got his weapons and went out his door. He walked fast and away from his family that wanted to know what was going on and went out the lair door, never looking back.
"Mikey go after him, see what is going on." Donnie said.
"No problem bro." Mikey ran out the lair door to go after Raph.
Donnie went back to the kitchen and got some tea ready to bring to Leo. Leo was already up and trying to sit up, his arm wasn't as bad as yesterday, it still couldn't support him, but it didn't hurt as much either. Leo thought that was a good sign at least.
"Let me help Leo." Donnie came into the room and set the tea down on Leo's nightstand.
"My arm better get stronger soon. What happens when I need to well you know, how will I get up without help." Leo replied angrily.
"It will, we will start the training and you should be fine." Said Donnie as he set Leo up.
"Did Raph say were he was going?" asked Leo.
"No, he just stormed out. You know how Raph is." Donnie stated.
"I thought I did, but I guess we can all be wrong." Leo said quietly.
"Leo, you have to realize that Raph didn't know what he was saying. He doesn't mean what he says more then half the time he says it. He gets mad and says stupid stuff, he was sick." Donnie explained.
"I know he didn't mean to cut me up. That was induced by the sickness, but Donnie what he said. That had to be in him for him to even say it. Donnie do you think I am an awful leader? Will you guys be happier with Raph and not me?" Leo looked at Donnie with sad eyes.
"Leo, you're a great leader. You always think of us first and yourself second. You are great at plans you always get us out of trouble. I wouldn't change things for the world. You are a great leader and a great brother. Raph knows you are both, he is just a hot head, plus with him being sick he said some things that he didn't mean." Donnie replied.
"I don' t know Donnie. I really think he hates me and does believe that I am a crappy leader. I don't think someone can say such things so harshly and not mean them." Leo stated.
"Leo you need to talk to Raph. You guys need to straighten this out and I would do it before Splinter gets back. Mikey is going after Raph, he'll bring him home and then you guys talk." Donnie said.
"I don't want to talk to him. God Donnie you weren't there. He hates me he hates what I am, I knew Raph was jealous of me being the leader, and I just shrugged it off thinking he'd get over it. But you know what he hasn't he has just let it grow and grow until finally he snapped and he said what he feels. I can't change who I am. I try to fit in. I try to be better then you guys because this is all I have. Your smart, Mikey's funny, and Raph is misunderstood, but you all are accepted I have to be perfect I have to excel. You guys get to play to be a family, I get to be BIG BROTHER, LEADER, I don't get cut any slack, I'm supposed to be stronger to always be there always help. Donnie all I wanted was you guys to accept me for me." Leo had more to say but didn't know where to begin.
"Leo we accept you we love you. Your our brother." Donnie said with affection.
"Did you know I write? Did you know that I'm scared of snakes? Did you know that I always wanted to play hide and seek with you, but I couldn't because I had to watch over you guys and make sure you were alright?" asked Leo.
"No, Leo I didn't. But, you never showed us that. We just always thought you were being a stick in the mud, and just wanted to train, we didn't know." Donnie said sadly.
"Well, I wanted to be a kid, I wanted to play with my brothers but I couldn't I was older I had to protect you. That was my job my responsibility. I hate it, but at least I have something." Leo sat on the bed with his eyes down and tears running down his face. "I don't want Raph to hate me. I love him, I love all you guys, but I can't change what I am anymore then you guys can change what you are, and I'm afraid that Raph could never accept me as I am."
"Leo, you have to talk to Raph, tell him this. If you tell him this he will understand." Donnie exclaimed.
"Raphael only hears what he wants to hear. There's nothing to say to Raph. Donnie, I said what I said to you because I don't want you or Mikey to hate me, I at least need my other brothers to like me." Said Leo.
"Leo, we love you. You need to talk to Raph. Please Leo for me?" Donnie pleaded.
"I can't, I just can't. Donnie lets get on with the therapy. I want to use my arm, I don't want to depend on you guys or put you out." Leo said.
"Leo you could never put us out. Raph didn't mean what he said, you have to believe that he didn't mean it." Donnie's eyes were bright with unshed tears. "I don't want my family to fight I want us all to be happy, whole."
"Donnie, you are starting to sound like Mikey. There is not always a happy ending, not in real life. You have to take what comes and accept. Raph hates me I wish it were different I wish he could understand me, but I am not expecting it to happen. That's the difference between you and Mikey and Me and Raph. We know that reality sucks. You guys live in dreams. Sorry Donnie, Raph and me will always fight always disagree and apparently Raph will always hate me. I will accept it in time. But right now all I care about is getting my arm better. My plastron hurts when I move too much, but I'll cope. Now, lets get to training." Leo had that big brother voice that couldn't be argued with.
"Fine, if you want to be as stubborn as Raph go ahead, see if I care." But Donnie did care. He hated seeing his brothers fight, he hated seeing Leo hurt. Mikey and he got along great. He wished it was the same for Leo and Raph, but Leo was right nothing would make Raph listen to reason, he was too stubborn more so then Leo.