Sorry I had to take a break... I lost inspiration when the spoiler came
out that David might be Babe's father... But... I am working hard to recover
and the reviews have worked wonders! Thanks Serendipity
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ryan crept into Kendall's room. She was lying there so peaceful and looked like an angel to him. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she had turned his life inside out and upside down. He had been so wrong to hurt her and marry Greenlee. The marriage hadn't even lasted a week when he had realized his mistake. It was the dreams that got through to him. Dreams of Kendall after they had made love, when she needed him, or when she was daring him to love her. He would do whatever it took to make it up to her and win her back.
Kendall slowly woke up, she could hear a familiar voice calling her name. It was a voice that had touched her soul at one time... and opening her eyes she stared into a face that she had once loved with all her heart.
"Ryan?" she whispered, blinking rapidly to focus her eyes.
"Hey... hey there. How are you? I had to see you with my own eyes to make sure you were ok." Ryan smiled down at her.
"I am ok... slight headache... tired... But, I am ok..." A thousand questions ran through her head... Did he know about the baby? Where was David? How did she tell him that it was over... that she couldn't have David's child and be with him like they had once been...
Everything was different now... the rules of the game they had played for so long no longer applied. Nothing mattered to her but the happiness of her child.
"Kendall? Did you hear me?" Ryan asked concerned.
"Hmmm? What? I am sorry... My mind is still a little fuzzy..." She had no idea what he had said, but she was embarrassed to admit it.
"I was saying that I was so scared that I was going to lose you... All I wanted to do was to come back and take care of you... like I always have when you needed me..." Ryan took hold of Kendall's hand.
"You are right... you have been there for me... But, you left me Ryan... you chose to be with Greenlee and threw my love back in my face... Remember?"
"I know I did... and I can never tell you how sorry I am... but give me a chance to prove it... Please..." Ryan kissed the slender hand he was holding.
"Ryan... I want to believe you... I would love more than anything to believe that you were sorry... To go back and do so many things over... But, it is not about you or me anymore... I am pregnant... and that changes everything... Nothing means more to me than this child I am carrying..."
"I know... I mean, I know that you are pregnant. I also know that the baby is David Hayward's... But, that doesn't change the way I feel... I mean I am sad... sad because you should be carrying my child... Not his." Ryan replied angrily.
"You had a chance... I tried to give you everything you wanted... but I can't change things... Whatever you feel doesn't matter... does that sound familiar? You said the same words when I told you how much I loved you... how much I trusted you... and then you turned and said "I do" to Greenlee..." Kendall felt the old hurt come back and shook it off.
"I should never have said that... or married Greenlee... But, I can make it right... I'll get and annulment... We'll get married... and I will be a father to your child... I will take care of you both..."
Kendall felt anger begin to stir. How dare he treat her like she was helpless... like she was some fallen woman carrying an unwanted child...
"My baby has a father... David is the father of my child... unless he decides otherwise... If that happens I am more than capable of raising MY child... Besides you lost any right to take care of me when you vowed to love, cherish, and all that crap to Greenlee...Why don't you get it? You are free... free of me... just like you wanted... I can't be the perfect person you want me to be... But, I am going to be a good mother... even if it is on my own."
"Are you crazy? If I know him, all Hayward wants is this child... Once you give birth he'll probably concoct some drug to get rid of you... He doesn't love you... and never will... All he sees is the baby... Not the mother... he is just using you to get back at me. And you can barely take care of yourself with out getting into some type of fiasco..." Ryan fought on trying to get through to her.
"You are so wrong... about me and about David. If he does only want this child... He will share equal custody... but he never will ever take my child from me... and if in the future the nature of our relationship changes then at least it started with honest beginning... and I am sure we will find out soon enough... But, whatever it is... Whatever is between us... is just that... Between us... David and me... Maybe I am crazy, but that is how it is..."
She was tired... so tired of this... of Ryan trying to "make things right", to make her feel as if she was a helpless child.
"Ok... Calm down... You're tired... and you have a lot to think about... But, just consider this... When David hurts you and tries to take your child away... and deep down you know he will... and then you'll do something crazy to "take care" of the situation... Who are you going to turn to? Me... and I will be here to put you back together in... to fight for you... like I always am... I love you..." Ryan gruffly kissed her and stalked out of the room before she could try and argue with him.
Kendall closed her eyes and laid her head back against the pillows. She couldn't think about this right now... she needed to get used to being a mother before she could handle with her own personal relationships.
Hearing footsteps she took a deep breath... Why wouldn't Ryan let her sleep? "God! Please just leave me alone and let me sleep!" She yelled. "Wow... I am sorry... I just thought I would stop in and check on you..." David started to walk away.
Kendall's eyes shot open. "David? Oh... no... I thought... I thought you were someone else... nurses seem to come in every five minutes..."
She didn't know what she didn't mention Ryan's name... she just didn't...
"Well... they are just making sure you and the baby are ok..." David smiled and walked over to the chair by Kendall's bed.
"We're fine... sleepy... and more than a little grouchy... Why are you here?" Kendall kept hearing bits and pieces of the conversation they had shared at the SOS playing over and over in the back of her mind.
"Well... I thought I would come sit here for a bit ... Just be here... if that is ok with you..." He reached for her hand.
"You don't have to do that... I am ok...really... I promise... besides it's not as if you really want to be here... You just feel obligated..." She replied only half-serious.
"Well, you are partly right... but you are wrong about me not wanting to be here... I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now..." David tried to lighten the mood with a smile.
"Yeah right... I mean you might have other plans I am keeping you from... with Krystal..." Kendall knew she sounded bitchy bringing up but she just needed to vent on someone... and he was a prime candidate at the moment.
"Nope... I know that I was out of line tonight... and I am sorry, ok. But, we don't have to talk about it right now... You need to rest... and it will just upset you... and that isn't good for the baby."
"Ah, the REAL motive comes to light... You are worried that I might do something crazy and hurt my child?" Kendall felt a new flourish of annoyance rise in her.
"No... that's not it, well at least not the only reason... I told you why I am here... Bianca is going to get some things together so you can just go over to my house when they release you... I mean, I have to work at the clinic, so I'll give you a key..."
His house? A key? "Wait? What do you mean? Go on over to your house... I am going back to my house..."
"I thought we talked about it already... You are coming to stay with me, so that I can keep an eye on you... Take care of you and the baby..." David exhaled, he knew it had been too easy earlier.
"Ok... earlier my brains felt like a scrambled egg... I actually agreed to this?" Kendall couldn't believe she would give up her freedom so freely.
"Yep... with a smile I might add. You'll move in and I will make sure you eat, take your vitamins... good stuff like that... Keep you out of trouble... the basics..." David thought he was being cute, but he didn't know he had hit a recently worked nerve.
"You think that I can't take care of myself... and my child?" Kendall asked innocently.
David had leaned back and closed his eyes so he didn't see the spark blazing in Kendall's eyes.
"Kendall... come on... your idea of good eating is a hamburger and fries from the SOS and a milkshake... and forget rest... you barely stop to breath, let alone just rest for the sake of it... And trouble... Do I really need to go there? Plus, you wouldn't have to worry about Lavery hounding you at every turn..." He laughed at his own little joke.
"At the risk of being just a tad bit bitchy... Get the hell out of here... just get yourself up out of that chair and go... Maybe... and I mean MAYBE I will talk to you tomorrow after I have had time to go home and REST in MY house and if ANYONE hounds me I am going to throw something... don't worry it won't be heavy, but it will be sharp!"
David's jaw dropped and he sat up. What had set her off? "Whoa... I think you are overreacting a little bit here... I just want to take care of you and my child... but if..."
"You mean MY child... our child... that I am perfectly capable of taking care of. And right now I just want to sleep... So, please go... let me sleep..."
Kendall turned on her side away from him and closed her eyes.
"Ok... ok... calm down. I'll come and check on you in the morning... maybe you'll be a bit more rational by then..." David stood up an shook his head not sure how serious he should take her reaction. Would he ever understand her?
After he left Kendall tried to go to sleep, but she couldn't. She needed to get out of here... To go somewhere that she could just be... and not be bothered by people that doubted her ability to think for herself...
Pressing the call button she waited for the nurse to come to her room. She would see what the verdict was on her condition and then she would fly the coop...
It was five in the morning when Kendall crept into the cottage... tired, but glad to be home. She heard Bianca singing in the nursery and headed back to the room.
Not wanting to scare her sister Kendall called to her in a soft voice.
"Bianca? I'm home..." Kendall poked her head into the nursery and smiled as she saw Bianca rocking Miranda and holding a bottle.
"Hey... What are you doing home? I was going to come and pick up of later..." Bianca looked anxiously at her sister with concern.
"I had to get out of there... don't look at me like that... I can get more rest here than there that is for sure..." Kendall grabbed a big stuffed teddy bear, laid down on the floor and used it as a pillow.
"What happened?"
"Well... after finally getting sleep for all of an hour Ryan came by... and I don't need to tell you how great that was... and then David came by... Did I really tell him I was going to move in with him?" Kendall closed her eyes and tried to clear her head.
"Yea... you mean you're not... I mean, not that I am kicking you out, but I thought you and he were going to work things out..." Bianca lifted the baby up to burp her.
"Work things out? You mean let him control me... tell me what to eat... how to sleep... Forget it... there is nothing to work out... Let me ask you something and please... be honest... Do you think that I am capable of taking care of this baby?"
Knowing that the answer to this question was very important to her sister Bianca thought carefully before she spoke. Gently repositioning Miranda she started to feed her again.
"I don't know why you are asking... or why you would even doubt it... I think you are going to be a great mother... Kendall... in the last few months... weeks... Whatever... you have taken care of me... and JR and Babe... mom... all of us... It's definitely going to be different... But, you will do just fine... I mean look at me... Everything is going to be ok... Trust me ok."
Kendall felt tears sting her eyes, "Thank you... I love you Binks..."
Bianca smiled at the pet name, "I love you, too, so much."
Sorry it took so long to write... I am going to hopefully put another chapter up tonight... this was kind of "get back in touch with the story" chapter so it might be a little weak... more to come...
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ryan crept into Kendall's room. She was lying there so peaceful and looked like an angel to him. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she had turned his life inside out and upside down. He had been so wrong to hurt her and marry Greenlee. The marriage hadn't even lasted a week when he had realized his mistake. It was the dreams that got through to him. Dreams of Kendall after they had made love, when she needed him, or when she was daring him to love her. He would do whatever it took to make it up to her and win her back.
Kendall slowly woke up, she could hear a familiar voice calling her name. It was a voice that had touched her soul at one time... and opening her eyes she stared into a face that she had once loved with all her heart.
"Ryan?" she whispered, blinking rapidly to focus her eyes.
"Hey... hey there. How are you? I had to see you with my own eyes to make sure you were ok." Ryan smiled down at her.
"I am ok... slight headache... tired... But, I am ok..." A thousand questions ran through her head... Did he know about the baby? Where was David? How did she tell him that it was over... that she couldn't have David's child and be with him like they had once been...
Everything was different now... the rules of the game they had played for so long no longer applied. Nothing mattered to her but the happiness of her child.
"Kendall? Did you hear me?" Ryan asked concerned.
"Hmmm? What? I am sorry... My mind is still a little fuzzy..." She had no idea what he had said, but she was embarrassed to admit it.
"I was saying that I was so scared that I was going to lose you... All I wanted to do was to come back and take care of you... like I always have when you needed me..." Ryan took hold of Kendall's hand.
"You are right... you have been there for me... But, you left me Ryan... you chose to be with Greenlee and threw my love back in my face... Remember?"
"I know I did... and I can never tell you how sorry I am... but give me a chance to prove it... Please..." Ryan kissed the slender hand he was holding.
"Ryan... I want to believe you... I would love more than anything to believe that you were sorry... To go back and do so many things over... But, it is not about you or me anymore... I am pregnant... and that changes everything... Nothing means more to me than this child I am carrying..."
"I know... I mean, I know that you are pregnant. I also know that the baby is David Hayward's... But, that doesn't change the way I feel... I mean I am sad... sad because you should be carrying my child... Not his." Ryan replied angrily.
"You had a chance... I tried to give you everything you wanted... but I can't change things... Whatever you feel doesn't matter... does that sound familiar? You said the same words when I told you how much I loved you... how much I trusted you... and then you turned and said "I do" to Greenlee..." Kendall felt the old hurt come back and shook it off.
"I should never have said that... or married Greenlee... But, I can make it right... I'll get and annulment... We'll get married... and I will be a father to your child... I will take care of you both..."
Kendall felt anger begin to stir. How dare he treat her like she was helpless... like she was some fallen woman carrying an unwanted child...
"My baby has a father... David is the father of my child... unless he decides otherwise... If that happens I am more than capable of raising MY child... Besides you lost any right to take care of me when you vowed to love, cherish, and all that crap to Greenlee...Why don't you get it? You are free... free of me... just like you wanted... I can't be the perfect person you want me to be... But, I am going to be a good mother... even if it is on my own."
"Are you crazy? If I know him, all Hayward wants is this child... Once you give birth he'll probably concoct some drug to get rid of you... He doesn't love you... and never will... All he sees is the baby... Not the mother... he is just using you to get back at me. And you can barely take care of yourself with out getting into some type of fiasco..." Ryan fought on trying to get through to her.
"You are so wrong... about me and about David. If he does only want this child... He will share equal custody... but he never will ever take my child from me... and if in the future the nature of our relationship changes then at least it started with honest beginning... and I am sure we will find out soon enough... But, whatever it is... Whatever is between us... is just that... Between us... David and me... Maybe I am crazy, but that is how it is..."
She was tired... so tired of this... of Ryan trying to "make things right", to make her feel as if she was a helpless child.
"Ok... Calm down... You're tired... and you have a lot to think about... But, just consider this... When David hurts you and tries to take your child away... and deep down you know he will... and then you'll do something crazy to "take care" of the situation... Who are you going to turn to? Me... and I will be here to put you back together in... to fight for you... like I always am... I love you..." Ryan gruffly kissed her and stalked out of the room before she could try and argue with him.
Kendall closed her eyes and laid her head back against the pillows. She couldn't think about this right now... she needed to get used to being a mother before she could handle with her own personal relationships.
Hearing footsteps she took a deep breath... Why wouldn't Ryan let her sleep? "God! Please just leave me alone and let me sleep!" She yelled. "Wow... I am sorry... I just thought I would stop in and check on you..." David started to walk away.
Kendall's eyes shot open. "David? Oh... no... I thought... I thought you were someone else... nurses seem to come in every five minutes..."
She didn't know what she didn't mention Ryan's name... she just didn't...
"Well... they are just making sure you and the baby are ok..." David smiled and walked over to the chair by Kendall's bed.
"We're fine... sleepy... and more than a little grouchy... Why are you here?" Kendall kept hearing bits and pieces of the conversation they had shared at the SOS playing over and over in the back of her mind.
"Well... I thought I would come sit here for a bit ... Just be here... if that is ok with you..." He reached for her hand.
"You don't have to do that... I am ok...really... I promise... besides it's not as if you really want to be here... You just feel obligated..." She replied only half-serious.
"Well, you are partly right... but you are wrong about me not wanting to be here... I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now..." David tried to lighten the mood with a smile.
"Yeah right... I mean you might have other plans I am keeping you from... with Krystal..." Kendall knew she sounded bitchy bringing up but she just needed to vent on someone... and he was a prime candidate at the moment.
"Nope... I know that I was out of line tonight... and I am sorry, ok. But, we don't have to talk about it right now... You need to rest... and it will just upset you... and that isn't good for the baby."
"Ah, the REAL motive comes to light... You are worried that I might do something crazy and hurt my child?" Kendall felt a new flourish of annoyance rise in her.
"No... that's not it, well at least not the only reason... I told you why I am here... Bianca is going to get some things together so you can just go over to my house when they release you... I mean, I have to work at the clinic, so I'll give you a key..."
His house? A key? "Wait? What do you mean? Go on over to your house... I am going back to my house..."
"I thought we talked about it already... You are coming to stay with me, so that I can keep an eye on you... Take care of you and the baby..." David exhaled, he knew it had been too easy earlier.
"Ok... earlier my brains felt like a scrambled egg... I actually agreed to this?" Kendall couldn't believe she would give up her freedom so freely.
"Yep... with a smile I might add. You'll move in and I will make sure you eat, take your vitamins... good stuff like that... Keep you out of trouble... the basics..." David thought he was being cute, but he didn't know he had hit a recently worked nerve.
"You think that I can't take care of myself... and my child?" Kendall asked innocently.
David had leaned back and closed his eyes so he didn't see the spark blazing in Kendall's eyes.
"Kendall... come on... your idea of good eating is a hamburger and fries from the SOS and a milkshake... and forget rest... you barely stop to breath, let alone just rest for the sake of it... And trouble... Do I really need to go there? Plus, you wouldn't have to worry about Lavery hounding you at every turn..." He laughed at his own little joke.
"At the risk of being just a tad bit bitchy... Get the hell out of here... just get yourself up out of that chair and go... Maybe... and I mean MAYBE I will talk to you tomorrow after I have had time to go home and REST in MY house and if ANYONE hounds me I am going to throw something... don't worry it won't be heavy, but it will be sharp!"
David's jaw dropped and he sat up. What had set her off? "Whoa... I think you are overreacting a little bit here... I just want to take care of you and my child... but if..."
"You mean MY child... our child... that I am perfectly capable of taking care of. And right now I just want to sleep... So, please go... let me sleep..."
Kendall turned on her side away from him and closed her eyes.
"Ok... ok... calm down. I'll come and check on you in the morning... maybe you'll be a bit more rational by then..." David stood up an shook his head not sure how serious he should take her reaction. Would he ever understand her?
After he left Kendall tried to go to sleep, but she couldn't. She needed to get out of here... To go somewhere that she could just be... and not be bothered by people that doubted her ability to think for herself...
Pressing the call button she waited for the nurse to come to her room. She would see what the verdict was on her condition and then she would fly the coop...
It was five in the morning when Kendall crept into the cottage... tired, but glad to be home. She heard Bianca singing in the nursery and headed back to the room.
Not wanting to scare her sister Kendall called to her in a soft voice.
"Bianca? I'm home..." Kendall poked her head into the nursery and smiled as she saw Bianca rocking Miranda and holding a bottle.
"Hey... What are you doing home? I was going to come and pick up of later..." Bianca looked anxiously at her sister with concern.
"I had to get out of there... don't look at me like that... I can get more rest here than there that is for sure..." Kendall grabbed a big stuffed teddy bear, laid down on the floor and used it as a pillow.
"What happened?"
"Well... after finally getting sleep for all of an hour Ryan came by... and I don't need to tell you how great that was... and then David came by... Did I really tell him I was going to move in with him?" Kendall closed her eyes and tried to clear her head.
"Yea... you mean you're not... I mean, not that I am kicking you out, but I thought you and he were going to work things out..." Bianca lifted the baby up to burp her.
"Work things out? You mean let him control me... tell me what to eat... how to sleep... Forget it... there is nothing to work out... Let me ask you something and please... be honest... Do you think that I am capable of taking care of this baby?"
Knowing that the answer to this question was very important to her sister Bianca thought carefully before she spoke. Gently repositioning Miranda she started to feed her again.
"I don't know why you are asking... or why you would even doubt it... I think you are going to be a great mother... Kendall... in the last few months... weeks... Whatever... you have taken care of me... and JR and Babe... mom... all of us... It's definitely going to be different... But, you will do just fine... I mean look at me... Everything is going to be ok... Trust me ok."
Kendall felt tears sting her eyes, "Thank you... I love you Binks..."
Bianca smiled at the pet name, "I love you, too, so much."
Sorry it took so long to write... I am going to hopefully put another chapter up tonight... this was kind of "get back in touch with the story" chapter so it might be a little weak... more to come...