I am coming up with new ideas... not sure how to work them in yet... Thanks
for the reviews... I am getting my "juice" back... just be patient and
hopefully my writing will get better and better! Serendipity
A special thanks to Jazz, purpleant, and utcutie... You've been here from the very beginning of this story and I hope you continue to enjoy it... I feel like this is "our" story and not just mine!
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
After Babe had taken off to go shopping with Bianca, JR felt restless and decided to go to the study in the hopes that he could get some work done. He had let a lot go since he had found out about Bess and his son. He and Babe had managed to begin to work things out and so far their relationship was stronger than it ever had been. True he was still sleeping in his old room and they had shared only a few kisses, but somehow they had made it past just the physical attraction that had bound them so close in the beginning. Seeing her smile was the only thing that brought him joy these days... that and hearing her laughter... which was all too little these days. He knew how deeply she grieved for their child... and he knew that no matter how much she felt betrayed by her mother, she deeply missed her too.
Opening the door he was surprised to see his father sitting behind his desk. It seemed like Adam had aged ten years to him. The man who had seemed so strong... so powerful... had barely spoken a word to him or Babe since they had returned home...
"Dad? Is something the matter?" JR knew it was a stupid question... just as he knew in his gut that his father was lost in his grief for his grandchild... and something else that JR didn't understand.
"Nothing... just going through some paperwork... Did you need something?" Adam looked up at his son and then looked away as if it hurt him to look at JR.
"I know you are grieving... we all are... someday's I miss Bess so much... and then I have to remind myself that she was never mine... But, I know that isn't the only thing bothering you... What is it?"
Adam cleared his throat, he was about to deny his feelings, but for some reason he felt that he had to clear his conscience.
Standing up he turned and walked over to the window, "Son... I did everything I could to sabotage your marriage to Babe... I broke promise after promise to you... I encouraged you to distrust her... Losing your son... my grandson... It was my fault... I never meant to hurt you... You have to believe me... God knew better than I did... He knew that I was wrong and this was how he punished me... he hit me where I was the weakest... and that was you..."
JR had never seem his father cry... but he swore there were tears in his eyes and Adam turned to look at him for a brief second after he had made his statement. It never occurred to him that his father would blame himself for Blake's death...
"You know that what happened that night... it was an accident... It wasn't your fault... anymore than it was mine... And believe me I blamed myself for the longest time... and Babe she blames herself everyday... At night I go by her room and I hear her crying... But, I am too ashamed to go to her... You see I let her down... I wasn't there... Dad... I wasn't there..." JR broke down crying... he had shed tears for his son... but now he was shedding tears for his wife... their son... and the pain he couldn't fix.
Adam wasn't good at giving comfort... he was much better at revenge... But, seeing his son so lost in his own misery he did the only thing he could. He walked over and pulled him into his arms. He had once again given into his selfishness and had not been there for his son when he needed him the most...
JR pulled away, "You see... it's not your fault... nor Babe's... and God... he doesn't have to punish you or me... we do a good enough job ourselves..."
Adam knew that moment he would do whatever he could to heal his son's hurt... and if that meant excepting Babe... excepting her in every way... then he would do it...
Babe looked over at Bianca and smiled a wry smile; "We aren't going shopping are we?"
"What gave it away?" Bianca smiled at her friend and stared at the road ahead, "I know I should have asked you how you would feel about this, but I didn't know how... so I lied and kidnapped you."
"About what... what is going on?" Babe felt really confused about her friend's motives.
"David and I talked last night... Did you know Tad went to Llanview to talk to Paul Kramer?" Bianca gave Babe a moment to respond.
"He did... Why? Why would he go and talk to that slime-ball? Hasn't he hurt us all enough?"
"He went to get answers... Answers that we all need... You need them Babe, whether you realize it or not..."
"What answers do you need? It was an accident... I mean, I don't know why he told us I had a girl... or that Miranda was mine..." Turning she smiled a sad smile at the baby in the car seat behind Bianca. She would rather that Paul just vanish of the face of the earth...
"We think that there is more to it... something isn't right..." Bianca quickly filled Babe in on the connection between Paul and the Mafia... but how did she bring his sister into this... she didn't want to cause Babe anymore pain.
"Babe did Paul ever tell you he had a sister...?" She asked curiously.
"A sister... I don't know... everything was so crazy in San Diego... and then all threats and blackmail here..." Babe tried to think about it, but something seemed to be hovering at the edge of her mind...
You had a girl... forget... My sister...
She couldn't put the words together... but it was definitely Paul's voice echoing in the back of her mind.
"Wait... I don't know... I just can't remember why but it does seem like he said something to me about her... I just don't remember when... or what... why? What does she have to do with anything?"
"Well, this may be a long shot in the dark... But, I think she knew something about the crash... maybe why he lied... I mean originally we thought his claim was because of Adam and JR putting the screws to him at the crash site... Remember... I think Tad mentioned it on the way to the hospital... Well... he couldn't get in to talk to Paul... he said that he did however talk to one Kelly Kramer Buchanan...Paul's sister..."
"Ok... by why would she know anything... I have never even met her?" Babe couldn't imagine Paul confessing to anyone... even his sister...
"I don't know... but when Tad went and asked her questions... telling her about Miranda...He said that she got very nervous... and it was obvious she knew something about it... something that she didn't want to talk about..."
"Well, maybe she did... maybe she was ashamed of him... I wouldn't be claiming him if he was my brother... He is such a creep..." Babe shivered at the mere thought of him... how could she ever have married him?
"Could be... but I thought it would be a good idea to go and talk to her... maybe even talk to Paul... Don't worry... alone... But, together... confront him... I just feel that he doesn't deserve to think he got away with this... think of all the hurt he has caused us..."
"You are right... I just don't think I can talk to him... To be honest when I think about him I get so angry... I could kill him... maybe we should hand him over to the mob goons..." She tried to laugh, but it was far from a real laugh.
All the way to Pine Valley the girls plotted and joked about different torture scenarios they could use to hurt him... Neither really knew what they were really expecting to accomplish...
Bianca just felt in her heart that this was something they had to do... something they needed to do... to find peace with the whole ordeal...
Kendall stood looking around the club... Everything was coming together nicely. The new glassware and alcohol was set to arrive tomorrow... and it would only be two more weeks until Kane's was officially ready to open.
"Hey girl... should you be here? I thought I would come by and make sure the painters had finished the mural... how are you feeling?" Simone looked at her friend with concerned eyes.
Kendall smiled... did Simone know about the baby? She knew that her mom hadn't told anyone at the hospital, but it was only a matter of time before the word spread...
"I am great... I still have a few bruises... You have done a great job with the painters and decorating... I just might have to hire you to do the nursery..." She waited to see if Simone took the bait...
"Thanks... I would love to do the nursery... But, I thought Bianca said everything was finished... Is she moving or something?" Simone had no idea what Kendall was referring to...
"Actually... Miranda's nursery is perfect... I was thinking more along the lines of... my nursery..." Kendall smiled a sly smile and turned to walk towards the office...
"Whoa! Wait a second... are you thinking about having a baby? With who... one handsome doctor who shall remain nameless or... one old flame... that happens to be married?"
"Well... It is a little too late to be thinking about it... I know superstitious people say that you aren't supposed to say anything until after three months... but... Aside from Bianca you are my best friend... SO... I am having the baby of one handsome... male-chauvinist doctor..."
"OH MY GOD! Are you serious? When? How... wait I don't want to know any details..." Simone laughed and hugged her friend...
"So... I am now a male chauvinist... interesting... Hello Simone... Kendall..."
Kendall felt a blush creep from the roots of her curly hair to the tips of her manicured toes...
"David... what are you doing here?" Kendall asked surprised that he had even shown up after the way she had set off on him...
"Well... being the bossy fellow that I am... I called the house and you weren't there... and so I took a chance you might be here... I just wanted to make sure you weren't working too hard... and to make sure you ate lunch... with me..." He finished with a smile.
"So... I guess congrats are in order Dr. Hayward... or should I say "Daddy" Hayward..." Simone laughed at her own joke, "Welll... It looks like you guys could you some privacy... I have to run to Fusion... or whatever the hell they are calling it these days..."
Simone took off before Kendall could plead with her to stay. She wasn't sure she was ready to deal with David alone...
"I am fine David... really... and I am not sure lunch is a good idea..." Kendall turned and walked back over to the bar area.
"I am sure you are... but to tell you the truth... I'm not... If you won't go to lunch... Will you let me sit down and we can just talk... just for a minute?" He asked full of hope.
"Ok... just for a minute, but the first time you start bossing me around you are out of here... got it!" Kendall sat down at the bar and offered David a seat.
"Kendall... you know about Leora... and you know how helpless I felt when I lost her..." David looked away as pain clinched his heart at the memory.
Kendall reached over and took his hand. No matter how irritated she was with him she knew how much it had hurt him to lose his daughter.
"I know... and I know how scared you must have been at the hospital when you found out about me being pregnant..."
"No Kendall... I don't think you do... I felt so guilty for hurting you... that night at the SOS I said some things that I really didn't mean... and then I tried to smother you... and lock you away to keep you safe... At least that is what I really wanted to do at the time..."
"David... our whole relationship has been so complicated... and that was the one thing we both said we didn't want... and now this baby... Our baby... it's going to get even more complicated..."
"I know... and I want to do everything right for our child... to offer it all the things I can never give my daughter..." David sighed and stared into Kendall's beautiful hazel eyes.
"You have to know that I would never keep our baby away from you... never... no matter how angry I got... I mean, sure maybe at one time I would have... lied... manipulated... whatever... but I am not that person anymore..."
"I want to believe that... and I think deep down I know... but... and I can't believe that I am saying this... I think we should get married... to give our child a mother and a father... that live together... I want to be there for you through everything... the morning sickness... the cravings... all of it..."
"Married? Ok... now I think you are really crazy... You don't love me... and I... I don't love you... like that... No... a marriage between us would never work..." Kendall couldn't believe he was willing to marry her just for the sake of their child...
Starting to stand up she was shocked when David pulled her back down...
"People get married for worse reasons than they care about each other and they love their child..." David knew he could be ruining everything, but he didn't want to lose a moment of his child's life... or Kendall carrying his child...
"Oh... David... I wish it were that simple... but I want more than that... not just for our child but for myself... I want to be with someone who loves me...not just the child I am carrying..." Kendall felt tears fill her eyes.
"You mean Lavery... Come on Kendall..." David felt anger fill him at the mere thought of Ryan Lavery raising his child...
"No... I mean...someone who loves me as I am... not someone who wants to change me or that doesn't trust me to take care of myself and my child..." she shook her head sadly and removed her hand gently from David's grasp.
"Ok... I was wrong to imply that you couldn't take care of yourself... Is that what you want me to say? I just... I just want to be there... from the beginning... for you and the baby... Is that so wrong?" David felt helpless frustration...
Kendall knew that she couldn't deny David this... this desire to share something so precious... so she came up with a solution that might work for both of them...
"Ok... I have a proposition for you... I will agree to a trial period... You, me and all the doctor appointments you can handle... you can feed me... fuss over me... whatever... just you and me... No Ryan... no interference... and at the end of the three months we will see how you still feel about getting married..."
"Well... I guess I just have to except that... Why don't you move in with me?" David asked still hoping that they could compromise...
"David... you know for a moment I thought about it... but... your home... It's yours and Anna's home... When I move it is going to be to a nice house with a backyard... a room for the baby... and a swing on the porch... and lots of trees... a REAL home..., but to be fair... I agree that I will move in with you if after the three months are up and we are still speaking..."
"Wait... you aren't very good at compromising are you... "David laughed with a wry smile...
"I have compromised way too many times... But, I will think about ok... I just don't want to leave Bianca... not now... not with Lena being gone... I don't want her to be alone..."
All of the sudden David knew what he had to do... He knew where Kendall's main weakness was and he felt guilty for only one tiny brief second as the idea formed in his head...
"I am going to jump on a limb here... but I may know a way to fix that... but you will have to make a deal with me..." David got a twinkle in his eyes as he watched Kendall roll her eyes at him.
She didn't know what he was planning, but she was sure it would be anything, but simple...
I AM STILL HAVING DIFFICULTY RECOVERING FROM THE WHOLE DAVID IS BABE'S DAD... NOT BECAUSE I HATE BABE... BUT BECAUSE IT IS KEEPING MIRANDA FROM BINKS... THE INSPIRATION WAS DRAGGING FOR A BIT... SORRY!
A special thanks to Jazz, purpleant, and utcutie... You've been here from the very beginning of this story and I hope you continue to enjoy it... I feel like this is "our" story and not just mine!
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
After Babe had taken off to go shopping with Bianca, JR felt restless and decided to go to the study in the hopes that he could get some work done. He had let a lot go since he had found out about Bess and his son. He and Babe had managed to begin to work things out and so far their relationship was stronger than it ever had been. True he was still sleeping in his old room and they had shared only a few kisses, but somehow they had made it past just the physical attraction that had bound them so close in the beginning. Seeing her smile was the only thing that brought him joy these days... that and hearing her laughter... which was all too little these days. He knew how deeply she grieved for their child... and he knew that no matter how much she felt betrayed by her mother, she deeply missed her too.
Opening the door he was surprised to see his father sitting behind his desk. It seemed like Adam had aged ten years to him. The man who had seemed so strong... so powerful... had barely spoken a word to him or Babe since they had returned home...
"Dad? Is something the matter?" JR knew it was a stupid question... just as he knew in his gut that his father was lost in his grief for his grandchild... and something else that JR didn't understand.
"Nothing... just going through some paperwork... Did you need something?" Adam looked up at his son and then looked away as if it hurt him to look at JR.
"I know you are grieving... we all are... someday's I miss Bess so much... and then I have to remind myself that she was never mine... But, I know that isn't the only thing bothering you... What is it?"
Adam cleared his throat, he was about to deny his feelings, but for some reason he felt that he had to clear his conscience.
Standing up he turned and walked over to the window, "Son... I did everything I could to sabotage your marriage to Babe... I broke promise after promise to you... I encouraged you to distrust her... Losing your son... my grandson... It was my fault... I never meant to hurt you... You have to believe me... God knew better than I did... He knew that I was wrong and this was how he punished me... he hit me where I was the weakest... and that was you..."
JR had never seem his father cry... but he swore there were tears in his eyes and Adam turned to look at him for a brief second after he had made his statement. It never occurred to him that his father would blame himself for Blake's death...
"You know that what happened that night... it was an accident... It wasn't your fault... anymore than it was mine... And believe me I blamed myself for the longest time... and Babe she blames herself everyday... At night I go by her room and I hear her crying... But, I am too ashamed to go to her... You see I let her down... I wasn't there... Dad... I wasn't there..." JR broke down crying... he had shed tears for his son... but now he was shedding tears for his wife... their son... and the pain he couldn't fix.
Adam wasn't good at giving comfort... he was much better at revenge... But, seeing his son so lost in his own misery he did the only thing he could. He walked over and pulled him into his arms. He had once again given into his selfishness and had not been there for his son when he needed him the most...
JR pulled away, "You see... it's not your fault... nor Babe's... and God... he doesn't have to punish you or me... we do a good enough job ourselves..."
Adam knew that moment he would do whatever he could to heal his son's hurt... and if that meant excepting Babe... excepting her in every way... then he would do it...
Babe looked over at Bianca and smiled a wry smile; "We aren't going shopping are we?"
"What gave it away?" Bianca smiled at her friend and stared at the road ahead, "I know I should have asked you how you would feel about this, but I didn't know how... so I lied and kidnapped you."
"About what... what is going on?" Babe felt really confused about her friend's motives.
"David and I talked last night... Did you know Tad went to Llanview to talk to Paul Kramer?" Bianca gave Babe a moment to respond.
"He did... Why? Why would he go and talk to that slime-ball? Hasn't he hurt us all enough?"
"He went to get answers... Answers that we all need... You need them Babe, whether you realize it or not..."
"What answers do you need? It was an accident... I mean, I don't know why he told us I had a girl... or that Miranda was mine..." Turning she smiled a sad smile at the baby in the car seat behind Bianca. She would rather that Paul just vanish of the face of the earth...
"We think that there is more to it... something isn't right..." Bianca quickly filled Babe in on the connection between Paul and the Mafia... but how did she bring his sister into this... she didn't want to cause Babe anymore pain.
"Babe did Paul ever tell you he had a sister...?" She asked curiously.
"A sister... I don't know... everything was so crazy in San Diego... and then all threats and blackmail here..." Babe tried to think about it, but something seemed to be hovering at the edge of her mind...
You had a girl... forget... My sister...
She couldn't put the words together... but it was definitely Paul's voice echoing in the back of her mind.
"Wait... I don't know... I just can't remember why but it does seem like he said something to me about her... I just don't remember when... or what... why? What does she have to do with anything?"
"Well, this may be a long shot in the dark... But, I think she knew something about the crash... maybe why he lied... I mean originally we thought his claim was because of Adam and JR putting the screws to him at the crash site... Remember... I think Tad mentioned it on the way to the hospital... Well... he couldn't get in to talk to Paul... he said that he did however talk to one Kelly Kramer Buchanan...Paul's sister..."
"Ok... by why would she know anything... I have never even met her?" Babe couldn't imagine Paul confessing to anyone... even his sister...
"I don't know... but when Tad went and asked her questions... telling her about Miranda...He said that she got very nervous... and it was obvious she knew something about it... something that she didn't want to talk about..."
"Well, maybe she did... maybe she was ashamed of him... I wouldn't be claiming him if he was my brother... He is such a creep..." Babe shivered at the mere thought of him... how could she ever have married him?
"Could be... but I thought it would be a good idea to go and talk to her... maybe even talk to Paul... Don't worry... alone... But, together... confront him... I just feel that he doesn't deserve to think he got away with this... think of all the hurt he has caused us..."
"You are right... I just don't think I can talk to him... To be honest when I think about him I get so angry... I could kill him... maybe we should hand him over to the mob goons..." She tried to laugh, but it was far from a real laugh.
All the way to Pine Valley the girls plotted and joked about different torture scenarios they could use to hurt him... Neither really knew what they were really expecting to accomplish...
Bianca just felt in her heart that this was something they had to do... something they needed to do... to find peace with the whole ordeal...
Kendall stood looking around the club... Everything was coming together nicely. The new glassware and alcohol was set to arrive tomorrow... and it would only be two more weeks until Kane's was officially ready to open.
"Hey girl... should you be here? I thought I would come by and make sure the painters had finished the mural... how are you feeling?" Simone looked at her friend with concerned eyes.
Kendall smiled... did Simone know about the baby? She knew that her mom hadn't told anyone at the hospital, but it was only a matter of time before the word spread...
"I am great... I still have a few bruises... You have done a great job with the painters and decorating... I just might have to hire you to do the nursery..." She waited to see if Simone took the bait...
"Thanks... I would love to do the nursery... But, I thought Bianca said everything was finished... Is she moving or something?" Simone had no idea what Kendall was referring to...
"Actually... Miranda's nursery is perfect... I was thinking more along the lines of... my nursery..." Kendall smiled a sly smile and turned to walk towards the office...
"Whoa! Wait a second... are you thinking about having a baby? With who... one handsome doctor who shall remain nameless or... one old flame... that happens to be married?"
"Well... It is a little too late to be thinking about it... I know superstitious people say that you aren't supposed to say anything until after three months... but... Aside from Bianca you are my best friend... SO... I am having the baby of one handsome... male-chauvinist doctor..."
"OH MY GOD! Are you serious? When? How... wait I don't want to know any details..." Simone laughed and hugged her friend...
"So... I am now a male chauvinist... interesting... Hello Simone... Kendall..."
Kendall felt a blush creep from the roots of her curly hair to the tips of her manicured toes...
"David... what are you doing here?" Kendall asked surprised that he had even shown up after the way she had set off on him...
"Well... being the bossy fellow that I am... I called the house and you weren't there... and so I took a chance you might be here... I just wanted to make sure you weren't working too hard... and to make sure you ate lunch... with me..." He finished with a smile.
"So... I guess congrats are in order Dr. Hayward... or should I say "Daddy" Hayward..." Simone laughed at her own joke, "Welll... It looks like you guys could you some privacy... I have to run to Fusion... or whatever the hell they are calling it these days..."
Simone took off before Kendall could plead with her to stay. She wasn't sure she was ready to deal with David alone...
"I am fine David... really... and I am not sure lunch is a good idea..." Kendall turned and walked back over to the bar area.
"I am sure you are... but to tell you the truth... I'm not... If you won't go to lunch... Will you let me sit down and we can just talk... just for a minute?" He asked full of hope.
"Ok... just for a minute, but the first time you start bossing me around you are out of here... got it!" Kendall sat down at the bar and offered David a seat.
"Kendall... you know about Leora... and you know how helpless I felt when I lost her..." David looked away as pain clinched his heart at the memory.
Kendall reached over and took his hand. No matter how irritated she was with him she knew how much it had hurt him to lose his daughter.
"I know... and I know how scared you must have been at the hospital when you found out about me being pregnant..."
"No Kendall... I don't think you do... I felt so guilty for hurting you... that night at the SOS I said some things that I really didn't mean... and then I tried to smother you... and lock you away to keep you safe... At least that is what I really wanted to do at the time..."
"David... our whole relationship has been so complicated... and that was the one thing we both said we didn't want... and now this baby... Our baby... it's going to get even more complicated..."
"I know... and I want to do everything right for our child... to offer it all the things I can never give my daughter..." David sighed and stared into Kendall's beautiful hazel eyes.
"You have to know that I would never keep our baby away from you... never... no matter how angry I got... I mean, sure maybe at one time I would have... lied... manipulated... whatever... but I am not that person anymore..."
"I want to believe that... and I think deep down I know... but... and I can't believe that I am saying this... I think we should get married... to give our child a mother and a father... that live together... I want to be there for you through everything... the morning sickness... the cravings... all of it..."
"Married? Ok... now I think you are really crazy... You don't love me... and I... I don't love you... like that... No... a marriage between us would never work..." Kendall couldn't believe he was willing to marry her just for the sake of their child...
Starting to stand up she was shocked when David pulled her back down...
"People get married for worse reasons than they care about each other and they love their child..." David knew he could be ruining everything, but he didn't want to lose a moment of his child's life... or Kendall carrying his child...
"Oh... David... I wish it were that simple... but I want more than that... not just for our child but for myself... I want to be with someone who loves me...not just the child I am carrying..." Kendall felt tears fill her eyes.
"You mean Lavery... Come on Kendall..." David felt anger fill him at the mere thought of Ryan Lavery raising his child...
"No... I mean...someone who loves me as I am... not someone who wants to change me or that doesn't trust me to take care of myself and my child..." she shook her head sadly and removed her hand gently from David's grasp.
"Ok... I was wrong to imply that you couldn't take care of yourself... Is that what you want me to say? I just... I just want to be there... from the beginning... for you and the baby... Is that so wrong?" David felt helpless frustration...
Kendall knew that she couldn't deny David this... this desire to share something so precious... so she came up with a solution that might work for both of them...
"Ok... I have a proposition for you... I will agree to a trial period... You, me and all the doctor appointments you can handle... you can feed me... fuss over me... whatever... just you and me... No Ryan... no interference... and at the end of the three months we will see how you still feel about getting married..."
"Well... I guess I just have to except that... Why don't you move in with me?" David asked still hoping that they could compromise...
"David... you know for a moment I thought about it... but... your home... It's yours and Anna's home... When I move it is going to be to a nice house with a backyard... a room for the baby... and a swing on the porch... and lots of trees... a REAL home..., but to be fair... I agree that I will move in with you if after the three months are up and we are still speaking..."
"Wait... you aren't very good at compromising are you... "David laughed with a wry smile...
"I have compromised way too many times... But, I will think about ok... I just don't want to leave Bianca... not now... not with Lena being gone... I don't want her to be alone..."
All of the sudden David knew what he had to do... He knew where Kendall's main weakness was and he felt guilty for only one tiny brief second as the idea formed in his head...
"I am going to jump on a limb here... but I may know a way to fix that... but you will have to make a deal with me..." David got a twinkle in his eyes as he watched Kendall roll her eyes at him.
She didn't know what he was planning, but she was sure it would be anything, but simple...
I AM STILL HAVING DIFFICULTY RECOVERING FROM THE WHOLE DAVID IS BABE'S DAD... NOT BECAUSE I HATE BABE... BUT BECAUSE IT IS KEEPING MIRANDA FROM BINKS... THE INSPIRATION WAS DRAGGING FOR A BIT... SORRY!