Chapter 7 - Cortex's Return
Cortex's holiday was finally over, and as much as he didn't want to be, he was on the plane back to his base for more plotting, inventing and failings. As he sat in his chair, gazing out into the vast ocean whilst sipping on his red wine, he couldn't help but think that this week had gone by too quickly.
"Well it's like they always say, there's no place like home," Cortex thought to himself, trying to cheer himself up.
"More wine sir?" The air hostess questioned.
"I think I'll need it," Cotex replied glumly.
Meanwhile, back at base, everyone was working hard to make the base look as clean as possible. Tiny was furiously cleaning the dishes that were almost touching the ceiling, Dingodile was carefully dusting the entire place, with his trusted pinny on, N.Gin was hoovering up all the stale pieces of pizza left on the floor, N.Tropy was clearing up all the beer cans, of which there were a lot of, thanks to Dingodile, and N.Trance was polishing the Crashinator, ready for Cortex's arrival.
"Crikey, I never realised we could be so down right dirty, I mean, where did this traffic cone come from?" Dingodile held up the traffic cone in question with a curious look on his face.
"That's fine, it's these bleeding ostriches I'm worried about!" N.Tropy exclaimed, pointing to said ostriches.
"Who cares where they came from, just get rid of them!"
Everyone rallied round to gently coax the ostriches out of the front door, one by one. N.Tropy had one of his tuning forks stolen in the process, and Tiny got pecked on the nose, but after ten minutes of chasing and pushing, they were all gone.
"Thank goodness for that, and not one moment too soon, the boss should be coming any minute.........."
N.Tropy's words were cut off with two loud knocks on the door.
".......now!" N.Tropy finished.
"I'm home everyone!" Cortex's words rang out around the base.
"Welcome back boss!" Everyone chanted at the same time.
Cortex entered the room looking fresh and revitalised, he'd even turned a slight shade of orange thanks to the tanning machines. Following close behind was a small scraggly kid carrying all of Cortex's cases.
"Where do you....want......these sir," the kid strained to answer.
"Take them to my room, on the 30th floor."
The kid let out a loud groan, but did as he was told. Cortex gazed around the control room, everything seemed to be as it was when he left, no broken monitors, no mystery stains on the walls, everything seemed fine.
"Well, it looks like you kept this place tidy while I was away, good job everyone, I didn't think you would be up to it."
"Oh, and there's more sir," N.Trance piped up excitedly, "let me show you what we've been working on for you all this time."
N.Trance lead Cortex and the rest of the group outside, where a large blue drape was covering something big. Everyone stood proudly, waiting for the unveiling.
"May I present to you, THE CRASHINATOR!"
N.Trance let the drape fall off, and there was the Crashinator, staring Cortex in the face.
"Well, I don't know what to say, it looks amazing, except for the fact that the head looks like something a 9 year old girl came up with!"
Tiny turned a deep shade of red, but kept quiet nonetheless.
"Well then, shall we turn it on and get rid of that infernal bandicoot from my sights?" Cortex queried.
N.Trance rushed to the start button, eager to get the show on the road.
"Ok everyone, this is the beginning of the end of Crash Bandicoot!" N.Trance declared.
Everyone gave out a cheer as N.Trance pressed the button.
Seconds passed, minutes passed, but all that could be heard was the wind rustling the trees. N.Trance started to get a bit edgy.
"Ummm, maybe i didn't press it hard enough!" N.Trance pressed the button again, and again, but the machine did not utter a single sound of life.
N.Trance then felt a sick feeling come over him and something compelled him to check the battery compartment. He slowly moved towards the back of the machine and lifted up a panel on the back. As he did so, his worst fears became true, no one had supplied the special AAAA batteries for it. N.Trance gave a nervous look round at the others.
"Errr, who's up for some lunch, I'm starving?" N.Trance chuckled half-heartedly.
Cortex's face began to turn purple.
"Don't tell me, I have just come back from my holiday to another failure haven't I?"
Everyone gave a small nod. Cortex finally lost it.
"YOU STUPID, IDIOTIC, MORONIC IMBECILES, I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LEFT YOU IN CHARGE OF THIS PLACE, YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THE SIMPLE TASK OF PUTTING BATTERIES IN A MACHINE!"
At that moment, Uka Uka appeared, having just overheard the conversation, he was infuriated.
"CORRRTEEEX, WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME EVERY BLOODY TIME!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THIS TIME, THESE MORONS ARE TO BLAME!"
Uka Uka and Cortex glared at the group. Dingodile, N.Trance, N.Tropy, Tiny and N.Gin all looked at each other in fear. They then thought of the same idea and ran for it.
"AND JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU LOT ARE GOING!" Cortex yelled.
"ON HOLIDAY!" Everyone shouted back.
THE END