Chapter Thirty-Three
The Up and Downs Of Love
I awoke in a room that looked familiar. When I looked to the corner of the room I saw the image of Ray but that quickly vanished into thin air. That's when I remembered the white room I had been placed in when I had been hospitalized the time before. When I looked to my left I saw a curtain separating me from another patient. I made sure I had no IV's sticking into me and sat up. I quickly peaked beyond the curtain to see who I was with and felt my breath catch in my throat. It was Travis.
"Travis!" I whispered. I doubted he could hear me but I had some things I had to say and this was the perfect time. I stood up and closed the door. The nurse that had been helping me saw what I was doing and I explained that I had to talk to him in private. She understood and left us alone. I sat back down on my bed and began talking to him. I focused on his long spiky hair and thought of how he had changed and knew what I was gonna say.
"Travis, I know you can't hear me but, I just have to say something to you. I love you, and I mean that with all of my heart. I know most couples just say that but I really mean it. You hurt me so much when you broke things off. I thought something was wrong with me and I didn't want to be who I was. You hurt me so much, but I couldn't hate you. I just couldn't, I tried so hard but it was impossible.
"When I first me you I knew something would happen between us but I never thought that it would be as traumatic as this. I just wanted to be happy. But, in the beginning when I found out you liked Audrey my dreams were shattered. I started having feeling for Ray. I thought I had feelings for him but I was wrong. I just wanted to make you want me. You were the one thing I wanted that I couldn't have. Then you started spending more time with me and I thought things were going great. And then we kissed.
"That got me so confused because now, for the first time, I thought of Audrey. I had dismissed the thought of her until that point but now that consumed my mind. Then you guys broke up and I thought this was finally gonna be my chance, and then that got shot down the toilet. Then, this year, when I asked you out I thought that I was gonna get my second chance and what happens? That blows up in my face too. But Travis, all I want is for this whole thing to be fixed, so, whether you can hear me or not, I love you." I stood up and kissed him on the lips.
I sat back down in my bed and rolled the covers over me. It's amazing what getting something off of your chest can do for your mood. I was getting comfortable when I heard something. "Lily?" It was Travis! He was awake. I stayed quiet. "I don't know if you're still awake but, just so you know, I love you too. I'm sorry for putting you through all this." I smiled and drifted off to sleep.