Title: My Donna
Author: Elizabeth Bennet-Darcy
Spoilers: Memorial Day, Gaza, Stackhouse, 17 People
Disclaimer: Legally, not mine.
Summary: Mrs. Moss comforts Josh about his decision to send Donna to Gaza. (I picture Donna's mother as a younger Mrs. Landingham type, right down to the cookies!)
Josh Lyman looked up to see a woman who looked strikingly like the woman who was currently fighting for her life in the operating room.
"Mrs. Moss," he said lacking the strength to stand up.
"They sent me here. Where's Donna?"
"She... they're operating..."
Mrs. Moss's eyes widened, "Operating? Operating on what?"
"Donna developed a pulmonary embolism. They have to get it before it gets to her... her heart," Josh's voice faltered.
A wave of grief swept the woman's face as she sat heavily on the couch next to Josh. "I'm sorry," Josh whispered. Her head come up and she looked at Josh.
"This isn't your fault, Josh."
"I sent her. I sent to the most hostile place on Earth. I sent her there."
"Josh, you gave her the opportunity to do something that not many people get to do. You gave her the opportunity to fulfill her potential," Mrs. Moss said sincerely.
Josh shook his head, "She could have fulfilled her potential in Brussels."
"Let me tell you something about my Donna," Mrs. Moss began. "I got married to my high school boyfriend the July after we graduated high school. He went to work for the local dairy company and I became a mother. And I love being a mother; I've very good at it. Donna's sister, Angie, is a few years older than Donna. Angie got married when she was nineteen to her high school sweetheart and he went to work for the local dairy company and she became a mother. She loves being a mother and she's very good at it. Most girls Donna when to school with are married to men who work for the local dairy and have several children. I assume they are both happy and good at what they do. Marrying a boy who worked for the local dairy and becoming a stay-at-home mother is never something I would choose for Donna.
From the time she was an hour old I know she was different from the other children; special. When she was growing up she was so curious and had a mind like a steel trap. I know that my Donna would be the kid who got out. Not that living in Wisconsin and working for a dairy are bad thing, they're not, but it would never make Donna happy. Donna wanted to know things and to do things and experience the whole world.
Every time Donna got a boyfriend I was terrified that she would settle because she thought that's what she was supposed to do. I was so proud that she decided to go to college. I knew that was her ticket to bigger and better things. And the Kevin came along," Mrs. Moss paused at the puzzled look on Josh's face.
"Sorry, I think you refer to him as 'Dr. Freeride'."
Josh grinned, despite himself and nodded sheepishly.
"At any rate when she told me she was dropping out to help him through school, well, I was far from happy. I knew she would never go back if she stayed with him. She knew it too after a while. When they broke up... she had allowed him to crush her confidence and self-worth into almost nothing. She thought I was angry because she wasn't getting married. So when she decided to drive to New Hampshire and try to work on the Bartlet campaign I was thrilled; if only because a road trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire by herself would bring back some of her confidence. You had no idea at the time but you could have snuffed out any confidence she ever had, if you had sent her back to Wisconsin. Thank you Josh, for saving her self-worth."
Josh grinned, "You really can't say no to Donna."
Mrs. Moss smiled knowingly, "No, I don't suppose you can. Anyway, when she came back to Wisconsin... I think she scared herself when she realized that she could take care of herself and be really good at something that had nothing to do with milk or children. At any rate, she talked non-stop about you. When she was in the accident and Kevin was such a jerk, it dawned on her that she deserved better. She knew she deserved better because you had shown her that. I remember saying to her, 'What are you doing here? Why on earth would you leave the campaign to come back to Wisconsin and him?' I can't tell you how much it meant to me when she called and told me that you took her back without hesitation."
"That's why I had to let her go to Gaza. I had to find somewhere to send her... I don't mean I wanted her gone. She wanted to be gone... Not gone gone, but..." Josh sighed in frustration.
Mrs. Moss smiled, "You did have to let her go; just like I had to let her go. Whoever wrote that if you love something you have to set it free and if it loves you enough it'll come back was a very wise person."
"Yeah," Josh agreed hesitantly, "but would she have wanted to come back? I mean if this hadn't happened."
Mrs. Moss smiled, "Josh..."
"No, I mean... I don't know if you know about the Scottish wonder..."
Mrs. Moss smiled more broadly, "Colin sounded like a very pleasant person; not to mention handsome."
Josh made a face, "I thought you were on my side."
"Oh Josh," Mrs. Moss said laughing, "it's every girl's fantasy to be swept off her feet by a Scottish photographer in an exotic and dangerous land. You can't deny Donna that."
Josh screwed up his face even more, "Girls have strange fantasies."
"Oh and wanting a professional baseball player to call you 'dude' isn't weird?"
"Does she tell you everything?"
"Yes," Mrs. Moss said, suddenly remembering where she was and why she was there. She heaved a heavy sigh, "My Donna's a strong girl, she'll be fine. I'm sure they'll get the pulmonary embolism, is it?"
"Yeah, it's... it's a blood clot," Josh said choking over his words.
"Isn't that what your father...?"
Josh nodded his head.
"Oh, sweetheart," Mrs. Moss said putting her arms around his shoulders. "She would have come back to you, Josh. She loves you as much as you love her. She'll get through this and we'll bring her home."
Josh's shoulder's shook as he allowed himself to give into the fear and exhaustion he had felt since C.J. had come running down the hall toward him.