Chapter 9

"You take care, okay sweetheart?" Joyce called to her daughter from the car.

Buffy leaned in through the car window from the curb.

"Of course I will, mom. I'll see you in March okay? Good luck with the gallery show next week." The clock on the dash board caught her eye, "Ah, look mom, I've gotta run or I'll be late for my flight and Willow will never let me hear the end of it!"

Joyce smiled, "Go on then. And say 'hi' to Willow for me – I thought we would have seen her while you were both home."

"I told you mom, she went away to see her cousins. I really, really have to go. Bye mom!" This last was called as Buffy made her way into the main terminal building of LAX to check in for her flight.

"Will! Hi, thought you'd already be here. So, how was the vacation?" Buffy sat down next to the redhead who had been quietly sitting down at the gate flicking through a magazine. Willow looked up when her friend sat down and put the magazine back into her bag.

"Hi Buffy. Vacation was great. It was so nice to see everybody – you know, I haven't seen them all for years. Last time I visited my cousin, Sarah, and her husband, John, had just had twins and now they're 5! But they are so cute. Two little girls and they're completely identical – I couldn't tell them apart at first. It was so confusing, but they have totally different personalities." Willow smiled as she told Buffy all about the wonderful time she'd had while she was home.

"And what about you – how was Christmas with your mom and Dawn?" Willow asked when she'd finished.

"Oh, the usual," Buffy shrugged, then smiled. "Not really. It was great to be home – even if we did miss Thanksgiving. Mom made us a special meal to make up for it on the night I got back. I swear, I will never have to eat again – I don't think I've stopped eating since I got home! But look, isn't this cute?" She indicated the small silver horseshoe pendant that hung around her neck. "Dawn bought it for me! I can't believe my bratty little sister actually bought me something nice for once!"

"Isn't that a little unfair?" Willow frowned.

"Right. You've never had the pleasure of meeting Dawn, have you? Well, not really. She was away when you came to visit last summer. You need to withhold judgement on the fairness of that statement until you've actually met her. It's not unfair. But it is lovely, isn't it? Ooh, and speaking of presents..." Buffy reached down into her bag and produced a small gift- wrapped box. "I know you don't do Christmas, being Jewish and all, but I saw this and couldn't resist. It's part not-Christmas present and half for snapping at you on the way back when you asked about Riley. I'm sorry."

Willow's eyes lit up as she took the small box from Buffy's outstretched hands. She examined the gift from all sides. It was an unspoken rule between the two that presents were a luxury that neither could afford to give so this was completely unexpected.

"I, I..." she stammered.

"Look, just open it!" Buffy grinned.

Willow, needing no further encouragement, tore the wrapping from the package, revealing a small, plain, brown cardboard box. She gingerly lifted the lid of the box to expose several layers of filmy cream tissue paper. Willow peeled these back and gasped as she exposed what lay beneath. It was a perfectly worked piece of glass, about twice the size of the palm of her hand. It had been edged with piping and hand-painted with a delicate design of gold swirls, in-filled with lilac and pale green iridescent paint. Attached to the top was a narrow length of wire.

"You're meant to hang it at your window so that it catches the sun." Buffy explained tentatively as she watched her friend examine the piece silently. Willow looked up.

"It's beautiful." She declared. "Wherever did you find it?"

"I was shopping in Sunnydale and there was this new store I'd never seen before and it had these up in the window. They just looked so pretty and I thought of you straight away. You do like it, right?" Buffy asked nervously.

"Of course I like it, silly." Willow pulled her friend into a hug. "Thank you."

"So, you'll forgive me for being such a bitch before? About Riley."

"Already forgotten."

Both girls looked up as their plane was called and they busied themselves with boarding.

"You might have had a point."

Willow jumped slightly at Buffy's statement. She had been lost in staring out of the small window of the plane, thinking of Tara and wondering how she had fared over the Christmas period.

"Pardon?"

"I said, I think you might have had a point."

Willow frowned, not understanding. "A point about what?"

"Me and Riley. What you said before Christmas. About whether there was anything wrong. I think you might have been right."

Willow turn round to face her friend, realising that she wanted to talk about what had been going on, happy that she had finally decided to open up.

"Go on."

"Well, the thing is, I'm not sure if you would call it a problem or not. It's just that, well..." Buffy paused, biting her bottom lip slightly and staring down at her lap as she wondered how to phrase what she had to say next.

"Yes..." Willow encouraged.

"Well, he was really sweet when we first met. I had no idea what to do – I was in a new country, in a city much, much bigger than the town I grew up in and it was all so overwhelming. And there was Riley – so confident, so sure of himself. And it was like he took me under his wing. He showed me round and helped me find my feet. He was always there. He was interested in what I was interested in and wanted to do what I wanted to do. And my friends are his friends. And he is wonderful. And I can't fault him. But..."

"But..." Willow echoed.

"But now I feel that I'm not a 'me' anymore. I feel like I'm one half of 'Riley and Buffy'. He's always there. Always. I've stopped going out because he always wants to come and acts all hurt if I try to tell him that he can't. I mean, when was the last time that we went out anywhere together, just you and me, Will?"

Willow thought, good point. She shrugged.

"Exactly. So, the Spike thing – I guess you were right when you asked if I was avoiding Riley. I guess I am, but not because I don't want to be with him, I do, just not all the time. And Spike's is so easy because I'm already there, and I know that I don't have to stay if I don't want to and he won't mind if I have to go. It's just that, when I'm there and Riley's not I feel like I can get back a bit of my life. My life, not 'Buffy and Riley's life.'" She paused and looked at Willow. "Am I making any sense or is this all just insane ramblings?"

Willow smiled slightly, "it makes sense, I guess. Have you talked to Riley about any of this?"

"I've tried, but it's not easy to get things through to Riley that he doesn't want to hear and I'm really afraid that it'll come out wrong. I don't want to break up with him; I just need a bit of space. God, Will, I really don't know what to do about all of this. I guess I was hoping that if I ignored it all for long enough it would just all go away – you know?"

"I know. And I also know that that only actually happens in stories. Hate to be the one to tell you this Buffy, but this is real life and you're going to have to deal with it." Willow pursed her lips. "Do you want me to have a word with him for you? Maybe the whole 'objective angle' thing will work slightly better."

"Oh, Willow. Would you? That would be so great if you could!"

"But, you have to do something too."

"Of course, what?"

"Stop hiding at Spike's every night."

Buffy's face fell. She loved the evenings she spent at Spike's and not just for the few hours of Riley-avoiding they gave her. Willow watched the conflicting emotions play across her friend's face as she made up her mind and wondered again if there wasn't more brewing between the two than mere friendship.

"Buffy? See this, this is my resolve face. That's the deal – stop hiding and I will talk to Riley."

"Okay, fine." Buffy knew that Willow was right – if she wanted to get this thing sorted out with Riley she had to stop hiding from him.