A Bad Fic: Third helping…anyone? It's low carb :D
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You all own my soul, spilt it amongst yourselves.
As a initial warning: I'd warn you, but then it'd take all the fun of you finding out for yourselves. I have candy. And I am so not afraid to eat it. DON'T PUSH ME. :D
Has anyone else noticed that all my infatuations are dead? Oo
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Look! It's the new low carb fic! Oo Yes that was random. This is an utterly random fic. Though, all fics need a starting place, which is why this little blurb is here, so if ALL fics have a starting place, then you, as the reader, KNEW it was coming, so therefore it wasn't random.
Just providing a bit of stability for everyone. Thank me later.
So- back to reality. We left the last chapter right where it is because moving it would make it not the last chapter.
Dart and company were being harassed by some completely random authoress at a bridge (BOOT XD) after being charged with a quest to atone for killing Mimi's bunny.
The last portion was meant to show that there are evil forces at work here, and that there is a Giganto involved. It's Sharra's fault.
Dart was still mourning Lavitz's death and the future the pair would never have since gay marriages were legalized and stuff now. OO
(By killing off Lavitz and demoralizing Dart in the fact that his life partner is now crispy vulture bait, Fifi in no way has meant that gay marriages are bad or evil in any way. In fact I hear it's low carb.)
"YOU BITCH!" Miranda screamed because she's been stereotyped that way and will forever be as such.
"Answer the damn riddle or suffer my wrath!" The Fifi squealed in a fangirlish manner.
Lacas waved the toothpick in a gesturing motion. "Please don't hold this against her, she's off her meds again and-"
Meanwhile poor Meru, distraught over the loss of the plot bunny, had wandered over to Lavitz's chicken fired carcass and began jabbing at it with a stick. Lavitz on a stick. :D It's low carb.
No, you may not hurt me. I do that quite well on my own thank you very much.
Haschel was STILL facing down the authoress and the gentle giant Lacas in which no man could HAVE EVER DONE because underneath that mild exterior lay a seething interior of MOLTEN FRIGGIN' Giganto RAGE…
Very Sexy.
Unfortunately for Haschel, there is no slash potential for me to exploit. 'cause Haschel's OLD…and…
OO I forgot.
Let's keep this LoD related please.
So what's the riddle?
":D" went Rose as she took a wild guess and said, "Why is a raven like a writing desk!?"
Miranda scoffed. "That's the STUPIDEST damn thing I've EVER hea-"
"OO I AM BOGGLED." Fifi proclaimed. "Gimme a minute."
(No, seriously…if you know, TELL me. That damn riddle's been riding me FOREVER)
And Miranda's jaw dropped as Rose's eyes sparkled in triumph. The White-Silver dragoon looked to the ground in shame, lush blonde curls falling about her shoulders, an action that did not escape her darker counterpart's notice. With a gently languid motion, her fingers drifted forward to stroke Miranda's flushed cheek.
(WARNING- SHOUJO-AI…wait…is it too late for a warning?)
Said blonde's reaction? Her lips parted in a soft intake of breath as their eyes met- briefly filled with joyous thoughts of a future--
--Only to be dashed a moment later when they realized that, thanks to Bush, same-sex couples received more scrutiny than matters of national security. Their dreams of a life together sundered by Fifi's desire of UST, the pair returned to their regularly scheduled glaring.
"That's a hard question!" Fifi wailed as Lacas patted her on the head.
Meanwhile, Meru gazed at the pair of petting Pamprin poppers, and in a snap decision brought about by the author's random choice, she glommed onto Lavitz's crunchy corpse and teleported them JUST LIKE THAT to Vegas where they eloped in a glitzy morgue, proving that Yaoi fangirls CAN handle het, despite of the necrophilia involved in said match.
(I eat dryer sheets XDD)
This is the part I had planned to traumatize Doel with something SPECIAL, but I have yet to figure out all the details of this torture, so therefore I will mortify Darkside and DG by putting them in this fic and announcing that yes, they DO read this drivel.
I think…unless they're lying to me…;-;
While Haschel skirted the fine tempestuous line of Giganto emotions dealing with life and death, and the others pondered on the disappearance of Meru and their knight in singed armor (and Dart wept a little more) there was a FLASHY SHINY BANG BOOMSHA-
--and two authors popped into black and white text right about here…
Darkside: oo Stop doing that.
DG: OO THERE SHE IS.
And the Fifi went "OMG-!" and promptly hid behind Lacas. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE HIM ALIVE!"
Darkside: ruffling trenchcoat Hell with you, fangirl. That Giganto's coming with us.
DG: …Why are we talking in script…?
Lacas cleared his throat politely. "I believe Freefall is defying ff.net rules again."
DG: …okay…
Freefall: YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM HE'S MINE!
Darkside twitched. "Don't make me hurt you, the giant's going back to Kazas and YOU'RE getting charged with kidnapping-"
Freefall: I'm liberating a captive!
DG: smacks her with a spork Silence cretin.
Freefall: OO RAWR! pounces
Dart: LAAAAVVVIIITTTZZZ!
All: …
Dart: ;-; In my sorrow, I can no longer bear the Red-Eye stone…tosses it over his shoulder
Haschel: OO MOTHER OF GOD. dives for it
Unfortunately for the coot, the sudden motion triggered some sort of primitive reflex deep within Lacas the gentle Giganto, and said softie went, "BRUTALITY WOOT" and TACKLED the geezer with a magnificent roar.
Darkside: DAMN IT. Quick, the shotgun…WHAT THE HELL-!?
Freefall: OO Nuuuuu-! …oO the hell…dances about in suddenly falling flower petals Whee!
DG: …These are pink…
Dart: Flowers…Lavitz used to get me flowers…;----; LAAAVVVVIIITTTZZZZ!
Darkside: Grah! My COAT! THEY'RE ON MY COAT!
And there was Mimi, hanging from a tree branch shaking sakura flower petals down in the gathered crew and chanting:
Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith Vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith vith
-and belting Darkside and DG with the dead bunny just because Fifi decided that Mimi needed more than a three-line cameo.
And there I shall end this chapter because it ceases to resemble LoD. XD
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Horribly short, but y'know? I still love you guys. Do you love me? XDD Let's get married in Vegas.