A/N - So sorry - I really thought that I had posted the final chapters of this fic here weeks ago!

Chapter 44

The air smelt strongly of salt, of the sea, and it contained a touch of moisture. The wind blew softly, throwing the occasional lock of blonde hair into Buffy's face as they walked. It was peaceful here, far from the crowds, hardly another person in sight, just the two of them. She scanned the area to their left, taking in the gently undulating landscape, covered in long grasses that waved gently in the breeze, broken only by the occasional tree and the village in the distance that they had come from. The environment to their right, however, couldn't be more different. Off the path they were walking along, the grass continued for only a couple of yards before the landscape dropped away suddenly forming a cliff to the sea below them. Buffy could here the waves crashing against the sand and rocks below, a constant, rhythmical sound which, to her ears, only served to add to the sense of peace and tranquillity that surrounded the area.

Her heart felt lighter than it had in almost longer than she could remember, walking as she was along these semi-deserted cliffs, Spike at her side. They had barely said two words to each other since setting out from the village, each seemingly content to walk silently along, enjoying the scenery and each other's company.

They hadn't done this in a while. In fact, Buffy thought suddenly. I don't think we've ever done this. She'd never really considered it before, but now that the thought had occurred to her, she realised that it was true. She and Spike had never just spent time together. When they'd first met, there had been the underlying sexual tension that neither of them had been willing to give a name to, and the whole Riley thing had been in the way like some insurmountable obstacle. Then, when they'd finally got over that one, Buffy's own fear of starting a new relationship had reared its ugly head. That really hadn't lasted that long, but by the time Buffy was even approaching being ready to consider a relationship, the dynamic between herself and Spike had changed completely - they were so far gone into the 'no strings attached' mode that she hadn't even considered that they could be anything else. That she could actually have dated Spike properly had seemed such an alien concept that she'd completely ignored the possibility - until, that was, she had been forced to face up to how she felt.

A shiver went down her spine as the path narrowed slightly, and his hand brushed hers gently as they moved closer together. She bit her lip, trying to stop the eternal grin that threatened to break out on her face.

She was happy, just being here with him, just being in his presence, all of the pressure having melted away. Not needing to keep up any sort of pretence - no need to act as if that she didn't fancy him, that he didn't mean more to her than a casual shag, that she didn't love him. Just being. She didn't dare look at him, afraid that eye contact would break the spell and she would have to return to the world of reality.

Her heart almost stopped as her hand brushed his once more and, instead of it being a mere momentary touch, he gently stopped its swing by catching it in his and holding it gently.

She forced the stiffness from her body, forced herself to at least attempt to act naturally. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and relaxed instantly, suddenly having to hold back a laugh as she saw that he was acting in exactly the same way. He was looking straight ahead, or to the side, or anywhere but at her, the tension evident in his body even through his obvious attempts to appear relaxed. She smiled slightly as she acknowledged, not for the first time, the fact that sometimes she could read him like an open book.

He must have caught her smile out of the corner of his eye because his body suddenly relaxed - although he still seemed unwilling to look at her.

And it was like that that the two of them continued along the winding cliff top path, hands lightly intertwined, each avoiding the others gaze, comfortable in the silence and each other's company.

The day slowly darkened as the clouds came and covered the light blue sky, obscuring the sun, but this went unnoticed by the two friends-come-onetime-lovers who walked, now far from the nearest habitation, lost in their own little world.

The wind picked up and the waves on the shore below grew, smashing against the rocks with increased intensity, calling out for all to hear that there was a change in the weather. But still the two didn't notice.

The first drops of rain fell, but they had prepared for that and simply donned the coats they had been carrying, neither of them worried about the onset of a light shower. Buffy's heart dropped as she was forced to relinquish Spike's hand, her nerve not stretching to taking it up again once she had her coat on. Spike, it seemed, wasn't ready to make that move either and the two of them walked on, so close they were almost touching, yet with a infinitesimal, but seemingly insurmountable, space between them.

Then, suddenly, and - or at least so it seemed to the two who hadn't been paying attention to the obvious signs of worsening weather - the heavens opened.

They were drenched in seconds, almost before they had registered that it was raining. Buffy couldn't help but let out a small squeal as the first drop of cold water trickled down the back of her neck, followed by another, and another, until there was a steady stream. Her now soaked and bedraggled hair flopping down into her face, she looked up at an equally sopping and bedraggled Spike.

His full lips twitched as he fought the losing battle to not laugh at the situation. Slowly, the twitch turned to a chuckle, which grew into a full laugh as he looked at her and her newly-acquired 'drowned rat' status.

Buffy tried to look menacing, flipping a chunk of dripping hair out of her eyes. Any success she might have had, however, was totally negated when the hair resolutely refused to go and fell immediately back into her face. Deciding that it was no use, she gave up and joined in Spike's laughter.

After a moment, he squinted up into the sky. "It's not going to stop, you know," he declared authoritatively.

"Oh right, and you work for the MET office, then, do you?" Buffy replied, scornfully.

"No," he patiently explained. "It's just that any fool can tell that this is going to last for hours - see, you can see the clouds stretching all the way out to sea, and that's where the wind's coming from."

Buffy scowled. "I knew that," she said, crossing her arms and walking a couple of steps further along the path.

"Of course you did, pet," Spike said, letting a note of condescension purposefully into his tone. She scowled again, knowing that he was teasing her. "All I mean is that we may as well keep going," he clarified. "There's no where to shelter and it's just as far back as it is on. Plus, I don't know about you, but I'm bloody freezing now and I think we really need to keep moving."

Buffy realised that she was, indeed, cold - the rain had soaked through her clothes and now the strong wind was busy cooling the water as quickly as possible. She looked at him, nodded and followed him down the path, just managing to keep up with the pace he set.

She managed to keep up for a good fifteen minutes - in which time they covered an inordinate amount of ground. But eventually her legs just couldn't keep up the pace anymore and she slumped down onto a nearby rock, breathing heavily.

"You know," she called to Spike, who hadn't noticed that she'd stopped. "Some of us only have little legs."

He stopped and turned, seemingly surprised to find that she was no longer by his side. Quickly, he returned to her side and sat down next to her. "Are you okay?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she smiled. "Just gotta catch my breath, that's all. God, it's cold," she complained, rubbing her arms to try and get some warmth back in them, her coat now no more than another wet piece of clothing, for all the good it did.

Spike leaned over and put his arm around her shoulder, drawing her close in to him. He looked down at her as he cradled her against his chest, smiling softly as he reached up and brushed her stringy hair out of her eyes. She cuddled closer to him, sharing the warmth of their combined bodies and trying to shelter from the rain - at least a little bit.

Spike noticed what she was doing and pretended to scowl. "Hey, no using me as an umbrella," he exclaimed with a laugh.

"Aww, but you're so good at it," she answered, her eyes flashing with mirth.

"Come on," he laughed, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. "We need to get going,"

Buffy stood up and nodded, taking the opportunity to casually retain hold of his hand. They continued down the path, avoiding the puddles that were quickly forming.

"Whose stupid idea was it to come for a walk anyway?" Spike asked after a few minutes.

Buffy looked up at him. "Yours," she simply said.

"Oh." Spike paused, as if thinking. "Bloody prat."

Buffy laughed and shook her head. Encouraged by the closeness she had felt to him throughout the walk - the hand holding and the hugging and the little looks, she decided to take a step towards admitting how she felt, just to see how he'd react. She took a breath to steady her voice. "Actually, I'm quite enjoying it," she admitted.

"What, you enjoy having a steady stream of water pour down the back of your neck?"

"Well, no, but I meant the rest of it," she continued, dropping her eyes to the ground, unable to look at him, her heart was beating so hard that she swore he must be able to hear it racing.

"The rest of it?" Spike asked, seemingly oblivious to her discomposure.

"Yes, the, well, the being with you part," she at last admitted, blushing furiously.

"Oh," was her only answer and she looked away, her only thought that she'd obviously embarrassed him, fearing her had her confirmation that he no longer felt that way about her.

They walked along in silence for a little while longer, the rain showing no signs of letting up. Buffy looked out over the cliffs and watched distractedly as the rain fell into the sea, stirring up the mass of water and making it appear more dark grey than the blue it usually seemed. She didn't know what to say and couldn't bring herself to look at him. She wondered whether she should drop his hand, whether he actually wanted her so close to him. But, most of all, she wondered what he was thinking, wished that she could read his mind. What she had thought was an open book now seemed to be firmly closed.

And so they continued, silently, hand in hand.

Finally, Buffy could stand it no longer. "It's just that, well, we've never really done this before, have we?" she asked him in a rush. "Just been together just us, with nothing getting in the way. It's nice, that's all," she spluttered, not really taking the time to think about what she was saying, wondering if it would come out right, hoping that this time she would get a response, something to suggest that he felt at least something for her, that she wasn't making a complete fool of herself.

Spike looked at her a little oddly, or so she thought, and smiled slightly before looking away without saying anything. He looked for a moment as if he was going to say something, then obviously thought the better of it and started off once more down the path.

The village they had been heading for soon came into sight and the two of them gratefully headed for the little pub which sat on its outskirts. They stumbled through the door, striping their sodden coats off and hanging them on the rack that was fastened to the wall by the door.

Buffy looked round and smiled to herself - it was a traditionally quaint little English pub with low ceilings and exposed oak beams lining the ceiling. She looked longingly at the open fire place, which obviously held a roaring fire during the winter months. It was cold and empty though at the moment, the weather at this time of year generally precluding the need for added warmth. Buffy, however, would have loved to settle down and dry by an open fire right now.

Spike caught the direction of her gaze and laughed. "Yeah, would be nice, wouldn't it?" he asked, almost reading her mind - though Buffy reasoned that it must be pretty obvious what she was thinking right now.

"We'd definitely dry off quicker, wouldn't we?" she agreed as they headed for the bar.

"Hiya, mate," Spike said to the bar tender. "Any chance of a coffee and a tea?" he asked - deciding that hot drinks were the way to go. He threw a look at Buffy, asking for her confirmation and she nodded gratefully.

"Yeah, no problem," said the bartender, walking off to get their drinks.

The two settled down a few minutes later at a small table in a secluded corner of the pub. Not that a secluded corner was hard to find - the pub was almost deserted - the weather having dissuaded most people from venturing out.

They sipped their drinks in silence at first, Buffy staring out of the window at the sheeting rain and Spike looking distractedly around the room.

Buffy couldn't think of what to say to him. She'd tried bringing up the subject of how she felt - indirectly, of course - but his reaction had been anything but promising. More like total ignoring, she thought sadly. It did nothing to encourage her to be more forthright with him. But she could sense the fact that things were going to have to come to a head soon. She just couldn't deal with this any longer, being with him and feeling this way and not being able to say anything about it. She sighed audibly, If only I knew that I wasn't going to be rejected out of hand, she thought to herself.

"You okay, luv?" Spike asked, startling her out of her thoughts. She turned to him and smiled wanly, wondering if this was the moment, the time when she would have to admit her feeling, would have to lay herself open to his possible rejection. Her heart felt as if it were in her mouth, beating so rapidly now she almost couldn't make out the individual beats, no matter how loud it seemed. She bit her lip and looked up into his eyes, holding his gaze for a moment as she formed the words. Should I just come out and say it? she wondered to herself. Just blurt it out - 'Spike, I love you'? Just like that, obvious and blatant? Or maybe lead into it, talk about feelings and... her thoughts stopped, mid-stride. Oh, God - what if he laughs? Or worse, what if he does the 'Buffy, I don't feel like that about you anymore?' thing. Oh God, maybe he would, maybe he'd be really nice about it - I don't think I could stand that! Buffy tried to calm herself, her racing thoughts, but it was too late, the moment had passed and she lost her nerve. She dropped her eyes, suddenly finding the finish of her nail polish fascinating. "Nothing, it's nothing," she mumbled.

"Oh, right," Spike replied, looking away and draining his coffee. She took a deep breath and let it out suddenly. Buffy looked up at him and caught his eye for a moment, but he looked away.

"Are you okay?" she asked, wondering if anything was wrong.

"Yeah, I'm, I'm fine," he said in a distracted tone, no looking at her.

"Oh." She paused. "That's good," she finished lamely, not knowing what else to say.

They sat in silence for a little longer, Buffy picking at a chip in her nail polish, Spike gently shredding one of the beer mats which had been lying on the table.

Suddenly Spike threw the paper remnants down.

"Buffy," he said, determinedly, turning to her.

"Yes?" she asked, looking up to meet his intense gaze.

He took a deep breath and nodded to himself before speaking again. "You once told me that you didn't want to know how I felt. And so I never said anything." He paused, seeming to collect himself before carrying on. "But I can't do it anymore I can't carry on pretending. I love you," he finished simply, before falling silent, waiting for her response.

Buffy simply stared at him for a moment, wondering if she'd heard him right. She couldn't believe it, that he'd said it, that she'd been wrong. She could feel the silly smile forming on her lips as his words filtered through properly.

"But what about your girlfriend?" she heard herself asking, whilst her mind wondered why the hell she was asking stupid questions when what she should really be doing is kissing him. Her eyes flickered to his lips with that thought. His full, fabulous, gorgeous, such kissable lips, she sighed to herself.

Lost in her thoughts, she totally missed the look of confusion which crossed Spike's face at this. "Girlfriend?" he asked, thrown by her response.

"Yes, I mean, I know you haven't said anything, but you have to have a girlfriend, I mean - you! There's no way that you haven't got a girlfriend!" she babbled.

"Buffy," Spike said, laughing at her lightly. "I don't have a girlfriend. I haven't had a girlfriend for ages. I didn't want a girlfriend. A couple of dates here and there, but nothing serious," he explained, taking her hand nervously, making her look up at him. "Well, that's not strictly true, I did want a girlfriend, but I wasn't sure she wanted me," he concluded.

Buffy dropped her head once more, biting her lip. Suddenly, she just couldn't contain it any longer and the Cheshire Cat grin burst out across her face. She looked back up at him, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, unable to speak.

Spike returned her grin with a tentative smile of his own. "Can I take that as a good sign?" he asked.

"Yes," she said finding her voice. "Yes, you can take that as a good sign," she laughed, before leaning in to kiss him gently on the mouth, savouring the feel of his lips once more against hers, feeling his arms encircle her as he pulled her closer into his embrace, deepening the kiss into a much more passionate one, pressing his body against hers as though the slightest space between them was too much, their soaking clothes pressing against their skin, unnoticed by either.

Finally, they pulled away, gasping for breath.

"Can we start again?" Buffy asked, almost shyly.

"Start again?" Spike asked, somewhat confused.

"Yes. Forget about the horrible things I said and the way I treated you and everything. Just start out again, as if we'd just met - with dating and stuff," she explained.

Spike smiled. "Now that I can do," he agreed.

"Good." She suddenly frowned.

"What?"

"Why aren't you kissing me?" she asked, the petulant tone in her voice belied by the twinkle in her eyes.

"Good question," he replied, leaning in towards her.