:D Boo-! Pre-Made Madness.

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notes – Scientific study, put 200 monkey's in a room with a typewriter each and they'll eventually pop out a great sprawling epic novel.

Put one fangirl on a laptop and…

…this…pops out. :D I love.

Anyway, posted this a year or so ago on mah LJ and…now it's at the Pit…I mean…here. I'm a disease. Also- guilty as charged for committing every offense listed herein. Bwah!

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First--the main male lead. This should be either Dart or Albert, considering that Haschel is old and no one likes Kongol. The female lead should be Meru or Miranda, as is everyone hates Shana and Rose is dead.

Now that we have our lead, we can commence with the plot. The first chapter should contain a hazy description of our 'bad guy' who is either a woman (because according to my brother, all women are manipulative and evil shrews) or an old man/thing twisted and bent beyond recognition and 'reeking of evilness.' He/she/it should be plotting to take over the world or some other obscure reason that is not entirely clear to the reader and never will be. The antagonists name is not mentioned, but apparently he/she/it hates dragoons regardless of fact that they have not 'existed' for 11,000 years.

Now, introduction to our 'heroes.' Dart/Albert or Meru/Miranda lead should wake up in a cold sweat from some horrible nightmare that apparently has some sort of 'meaning.' Now, we move along.

Third chapter should contain something like….giant man-eating peeps or something akin to fluffy yellow baby chicken shaped marshmallows only with a horrid disposition.. They destroy something.

Next, Dart/Albert or Meru/Miranda wander around aimlessly until they pop into Bale/Deningrad with no other reason for being there other than 'something is it be the GIANT MAN-EATING PEEPS!?

Now, you CAN take liberty and throw in some romance. It is best to toss together a completely ODD couple for interests' sake. Since no one likes Kongol and everyone hates Shana, I would suggest them but for the horrible mind images that produces so lets forget I said anything and move on.

hits mental keyboard Images….deleted…

Dart/Miranda works well enough. If using that couple, be advised to toss in some inane comment about how Dart and Shana 'were no longer compatible' and/or she fell off a cliff while picking flowers and died a horrible horrible death on the rocks below. Feel free to spice it up be adding a rabid animal to the mix. Whatever. Dart/Albert is sad for some reason. Miranda/Meru kicks him in the ass and tells him to get a move on.

Bouncing along, also, it is good to resurrect Lavitz/Lloyd/Rose or all three.

The peeps eat someone and that pisses the dragoons off for some reason. This should also not be explained but feel free to do so if you like.

The he/she/it pops in and…does something….and now you're down a dragoon because either Haschel or Kongol is dead because no one likes them. Fodder. Live with it.

The peeps attack and seriously screw up your plan because you're LOST now and don't know where to take the fic. Now is the time to toss in Lavitz/Lloyd/Rose. They will explain what's going on and save you PAGES of detailed and/or meandering dialogue.

Damn them peeps. Revenge for your comrades! Rar! Yay! They killed a peep and now Dart/Albert or Meru/Miranda decided its time to kick some ass. Split the group up and make some new twist on the romance thing such as Shana REALLY didn't die in the fall/decided to screw things up by declaring her everlasting love for Dart/Albert. Have Meru/Miranda spilt up the group with some sort of mushy sentimental goodbye and/or "shut the HELL up and let's go!" or "Hey! They got SUGAR in the next town! Hey? Those PEEPS are made of sugar! Let's KILL them!"

He/she/it pops back in and kidnaps Dart/Albert or Meru/Miranda and sends everyone else into a mad peep-killing spree, which inexplicably lands them RIGHT SMACK DAB at the front gate of he/she/its fortress/castle/beachhouse. Yay.

After a grand epic peep slaughter, Meru/Miranda or Dart/Albert and Co. spring the captured dragoon and run around for a few more chapters for no reason. Then when at last the author thinks the readers are going to kill him/her, they will drop Dart/Albert into a mass, bloody horrific fight to the death in which they will be saved last minute by a arrow/hammer/alien death beam. The battle goes as thus:

Dart/Albert: You will never get away with this!

He/she/it: Of course I will!

Dart/Albert: transforms

He/she/it: Rar…damn you dragoons….readies massively powerful spell that defies all know magic laws in its ability to blow Endiness apart

Rose/Lloyd/Lavitz: leaps at He/she/it in last heroic sacrifice dies Xx

Dart/Albert: O.O Damn you! You killed Rose/Lloyd/Lavitz!

He/she/it: Rarrr! lumbering around in gooey lumps

Meru/Miranda save the day because I said so.

The aftermath should contain lots of gooey sediment that should be appropriately happy and goosh.

The End.

And are you glad or what?