Sonnet to Legolas (har)
Due to the success of the sonnet to Piccolo, I wrote this one to another underserving attention getter, once again in iambic pentameter in the tradition of Shakespeare. I like book Legolas with all his faults. I hate screaming fangirls. Ooooh, I am so going to get flamed for this...
Oh, Legolas, some can't see who you are
They see pretty boys wearing long blonde wigs
They don't even care that you are sup par
Just a hick errand boy who's fond of twigs.
They think your age is close to 2,000
It is more around five hundred or so
Doesn't matter to them Bloom's acting's bland.
2,000's made up, but what do they know?Leg, your quaint ways were amusing to me,
But in the movie you're an idiot.
Missing things like climbing the mallorn tree
Looking all serious gives me a fit.
Let gollum go, afraid of a seabird,
You're cooler when you're less cool. I say werd.