Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi but I do own this story. I do own this story, it's my story about my experience.

Thank you to my very few reviewers of the first chapter. I appreciated all three of them...

I had to update this mainly because it has been nagging at me for some time now.

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The Meeting Chapter Two

I went to another meeting after the upset that is dubbed my trial. I needed to know I wasn't alone in what I'm feeling. I didn't feel like talking but I listened, a lot.

This one girl, Lissa, had a story that makes me grateful that I was only raped. It could have been so much worse. Let me retell it for you now...even though this is only my journal and probably no one will ever see it. I want a reminder that it could be worse.

A young woman stood up and headed for the podium at the front of the room. She was a pretty girl; long straight brown hair, brown eyes, a light olive complexion, and an athletic body type. She was definitely in shape.

Then she spoke in the most cultured southern voice.

"This isn't where I normally go to meetings but I'm here on vacation. My name is Lissa and I am a rape survivor. It is the 11th anniversary of my rape and it still hurts some days. I'm sorry to say that for those of you just starting your road to recovery but it's the truth. You'll hear that everything will be okay, that you'll forget about it soon enough. For the most part, they're right. You'll have days that you won't forget but you won't think about it at all. Then you'll have a day or two where it just flits at the corner of your mind, taunting you, waiting for the memories to come back. Then, you have the worst day, the day that it's on your mind from the moment you wake up until the time that you manage to drag yourself back into bed and toss and turn until you fall asleep.

Those are the days that I used to dread. Now, I take them in stride...I keep going. I work through the pain and memories. I hope you won't have to go through what I went through after the rape.

I know we're all in the same boat here. Some of us are lucky and got the oars to go with it. I had to fashion my own oars out of material on hand.

I was raped when I was 15. He was a good friend of mine that I never thought was capable of what he did. Wonders never cease, he did rape me. I blamed myself for almost 2 years before I could deal with the fact that it wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for him to take my virginity. In fact, I said no.

I thought at the time that this was the worse day of my life. I proved to be completely wrong on that count. It currently ranks in the top three still though.

The worst day of my life happened about three weeks later. I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it. Shock couldn't even register with what I was feeling at the moment the doctor told me.

I remember thinking, 'Pregnant? Wow! It can happen on your first time.' The thought now seems absurd and totally like the last thing you'd ever think of anyway but it was the only thought that popped into my head.

Now, I was faced with the most difficult decision that I've ever had to face. Whether or not I could keep the baby, and if not how to make the problem disappear.

I'm Catholic and abortion is out of the question for me. I'd seen too many videos about abortion and couldn't even put myself through that.

There was adoption, which seemed like a good idea but not a final decision for me. I could always keep it.

I made sure to do everything right, take my vitamins, eat properly and exercise. I did everything by the book. I was healthy, a little stressed but physically fit.

I decided to keep it by the beginning of my fourth month. I couldn't see letting him go. I found out I was having a son and I remember feeling happy and a sense of peace falling over me. It was very bizarre.

I miscarried at the beginning of my seventh month. It was the most confusing day of my life. I was relieved and yet sad. I was relieved because I lost the baby and wouldn't have to face my child everyday knowing he'd remind me of a day I'd rather forget. I was sad because I had already bonded and gotten used to the idea of having a baby.

Enough about the pity party for one. I just needed to talk today. I needed to rehash everything that happened. I know some of the people here have been through worse things and some of you haven't seen what I've seen but we are here because of one common problem. We were all raped. I know that seems like such an unfeeling statement but it's true.

I was raped. Okay, that statement hurt to say but I'm still standing. You can either let the rape overcome you or you can overcome the rape. I don't let the rape define me when I walk out of these doors. I define who I am and what I am. I hope each of you will see my point on this one.

Now to sound trite, tomorrow is another day. Nothing is as bad as it seems. There are so many more statements I could regurgitate that I've had the distinct pleasure of hearing over the last 9 years.

The scary thing is, they're right. Tomorrow is another day and nothing is as bad as it seems when you look back at it. You can survive anything you put your mind to.

I guess that's it. I hope I might have helped someone by relaying all of this for you."

She stepped away from the podium and sat down in a chair away from the stage. I looked at her for a minute and then turned my attention to the other girl who started to speak.

I listened to a few more speakers and then the meeting dispersed.

I caught up with Lissa at the door. I wanted to say something to her...I just didn't know what yet. I was hoping it would just happen.

I touched her lightly on the arm and she turned to look at me. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to thank you for speaking tonight. You gave me a new perspective on the whole rape thing and what happens afterwards. I'm lucky I didn't get pregnant and I'm so lucky I never had to face what you did. I know if you can keep going after everything you've seen, then my pain should be a piece of cake."

She looked at me and smiled warmly. "Thank you for that. I'm glad to know I could help out at least one person here."

She walked out of the room and I don't expect to see her ever again. I can't say I won't ever think about her though. She changed my outlook on everything. She'll never know what that meant to me but I will.

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