A/N: Okay, here it is. I can't think of anything witty (or pretty or gay) to write here.

Chapter 11: The Council of Elrond AKA What to do? What to do?

Gandalf:

Wake up, wake up, a council is held!

Phew! Frodo, you really smell

Don't you ever take a bath?

Clean yourself, or face my wrath

Elrond;

Strangers, friends, men and elves

Hobbits, wizards and dwarves that delve

You have been called here not by I

But to answer the threat of the Lidless Eye

They say that Sauron's regaining his power

He's rebuilt the Black Gate and the Black Tower

Frodo:

But who are all these people seated here?

Elrond:

They're people who have come from far and near

Here is Gimli, son of Gloin

Gimli:

If you pull my beard the curls WILL go boing

Elrond:

Boromir from the city of men

From the Steward of Gondor he has been sent

And elves that you haven't seen

Legolas, clad in brown and green

Erestor, my chief counsellor

Sent from Círdan, here is Galdor

And Glorfindel, elven lord

His aim is sure, and so's his sword

Frodo, now bring forth the Ring

For it is the answer to everything

Boromir: So THIS is Isildur's Bane

Can I be going insane?

What of the sword that was broken?

Is that or the Ring a token

That doom is near at hand?

The sword is held by what man?

Aragorn: See the sword you speak of

I know it's kind of tough

To believe what I say is true

I know it's difficult for you

Boromir: Who are you, and why

Does this sword say that we'll die?

And the halfling forth that stood

Does that not signal Gondor's doom?

Aragorn: It is not the doom of men

But yes, doom and great deeds are at hand

Boromir:

But what business have you with the oncoming danger?

Elrond: He is Aragorn, chief of the northern rangers

He is Isildur's heir

And Gondor's throne is his rightful share

But perhaps now we should hear the tale

That has come to us from the city of Dale

Gloin: True to say, about coming danger

One night, at our gate appeared a stranger

He was clothed in robes of black

And evilness he did not lack

he said to Dain, "Tell me of hobbits

'Of how they're said to be skillful robbers

'For Sauron knows that you once knew

'A hobbit that could make good stew

'Tell us but this and you'll receive great things

'Including three lost dwarven rings"

But Dain replied, "I give no answer

'To rider, horse, man or dancer

'I say to you, not yea, not nay

'But I must think over several days"

The Rider said, "But make great haste"

Dain replied, "My time is mine to waste."

The Rider screeched and rode away

And none we've seen until today

Frodo: It's so sad that evil reigns And that many by them have been slain But what has happened to Gandalf? Galdor: Yes, and why is Saruman not here himself? Gandalf: Saruman has turned against us His insane greed has turned to lust His forces have joined with Sauron's hoardes Including those which were at the Ford (of Bruinen) Elrond: But the question remains, what shall we do with the Ring? Coz it can't be destroyed by anything! (A/N: Getting a bit repetitive there Elrond?) Save the great mountain of fire and doom That's surrounded by darkness and gloom Frodo: But while we're here Let us hear Of what Gandalf has done and why For I think he's seen many things on the earth and in the sky Gandalf: Indeed, I fought with Saruman In the Tower of the White Hand But before that, I sought out Gollum In lands that were merry, sad and solemn And through this time Aragorn stood By my side while he could And when we found the slimy creature In his speech 'precious' did feature And so we took him to Mirkwood For the Woodland elves to do what they could Legolas: Alas! Alas! I must now tell Why I did come to Rivendell The creature Smeagol, called Gollum too Has escaped from us, it is quite true Aragorn: Oh dear, these words are ill indeed (A/N: Oh dear? Just 'oh dear' dear Aragorn?) How did he achieve this deed? Legolas: Perhaps not because of unwatchfulness But because of over-kindliness On days that were fine and free We took him to his favorite tree And happily he played up there Without a fear, without a care Yet one day he stayed up high Playing word games with the sky But then at night, some orcs did come And our sentries were quite dumb They were killed and Gollum lost And we couldn't find him in snow or frost Elrond: But still I ask, what about the Ring COZ IT CANNOT BE DESTROYED BY ANYTHING!!! (A/N: Yes, Elrond, we heard you the first time) Galdor: I say we throw it into the sea Where no one can actually see (it) Gandalf: But many things dwell in the deep Things that never ever sleep Elrond: So there's only one choice left Before we are accused of theft Someone must go to Mt Doom And must go very very soon Frodo: I must admit, now it's quite clear What the hell I'm doing here Elrond, sir, I'll take the Ring Sam: No sir, to you I'll always cling! (A/N: He didn't specifically say he was going on his own, Sam) Frodo: Shush, Sam, you're making a scene Sam: No, sir, I'm in the clean Elrond: The Nine Walkers shall be chosen Legolas: Alas! Alas! My lips are frozen! (A/N: He can't talk that means) Aragorn: You have my sword and Legolas' bow (A/N: How kind of you Aragorn, speaking for Legolas) Legolas: You've dared to speak for me as so Gimli: You too may have my axe I believe you'll have to pay som tax Frodo: My arms are beginning to break (A/N: I know they didn't literally GIVE him the stuff, but it's more fun that way) Elrond: Oh go jump into a lake My head is beginning to hurt Legolas, why are you wearing a skirt? Boromir: I guess I'll come with you too Legolas, why are you wearing shoes? (A/N: Instead of boots y'know) Gandalf:
Of course I will come along Maybe I should sing a song Everyone else: Help, help help! My ears they burn! Gandalf: Now the tables begin to turn Lalala! Do you like my voice? Lalala! You have no choice! (but to stay and listen) Everyone runs away A/N: Whew! what a long chapter. But you know, the council of Elrond chapter was the longest in the book as well. Ah well. Just RR!