"Lois? Lois where are you?" Peter called.
"I'm in the living room" Lois called back to her husband. Three other bodies bounded giddily into the room.
"What are you guys... so... uh... happy about?" Lois inquired.
"We're going to a club... you wanna come?" Quagmire informed Lois.
"Nah I'll just stay here. I"m not really in the clubbing kind of mood"
"Suit yourself" Brian replied. As the began to head out the door Lois called to them again,
"Hey guys... wait up!" Lois yelled to them.
"What now Lois? We gotta get going" Peter asked, slightly annoyed by the delay.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to go ahead and go to bed. I'm just really tired... and please... when you guys come home drunk... don't wake me up because if you do you'll have one very pissed off lady on your hands. Okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll be quiet when we get back" Peter said while laughing.
"Thanks guys. Goodnight" Lois replied.
"Night Loisy..." Brian said lightly.
"Oh and Brian... call me Loisy again and you'll find your arms in the middle of the highway" Brian's eyes got very wide and he nodded frantically while quagmire was fixing to fall on the floor from hysterics.
"Alright guys..." he said while wiping away his tears of laughter, "we need to get going." They all made their way out to the car when Peter turned back to Lois.
"Are you SURE that you dont want to come with us?"
"No thanks... I'm really tired." she replied a little annoyed.
"Alright, well be safe, keep the doors and windows locked, ok?"
"Yes mother" Peter smiled and gave Lois a quick kiss before walking out to the car where eveyone was waiting.

At the Club

Peter and Brain watched in amusement as a very drunk Quagmire climbed onto the pool table and began dancing.
"Shit..." Peter said through his slightly drunken laughter.
"What?" Brian questioned.
"I forgot my camera... we need it... badly!"
"Right... then let's run home and grab it. I'll drive! I am the only sober one out of you all!"
"Right... fine let's go."

(A/N: for time's sake we're going to skip the ride home because it would be boring and uneventful)

At the House

Brain led the way up the driveway with Peter following closely behind him.
"Do you have the key, Peter?"
"Yeah I got it right here" Peter reached into his pocket and fumbled about for his keys and handed them to Brian. The two unlocked the door and made their way into the house.
"Alright... so where's your camera?"
"It's on my desk in the bedroom... but I dont know if I can make it up the stairs and live to tell about it" Peter said with a breathy giggle and Brain sighed in defeat.
"Fine, let's go tiger" Brian helped the semi-drunk Peter up the stairs and into the bedroom that Lois and Peter shared. Brian reached for the light switch but was stopped by Peter's hand.
"Dont... you'll wake Lois. I can find my camera without the light." Peter then stumbled into their room toward his desk and successfully found his digital camera. He turned around to face Brian and then proceeded to stumble back out of the room.
(A/N: also to get toward the actual point of the story we're going to skip the rest of the party because it woul also be boring and uneventful)

In the car heading back from the club

"God, Quagmire, you are so drunk" Brian said.
"Dude, shut up... I dont even have enough strength to pull myself into the car, so dont make fun."
"No, no... you mean you dont have enough coordination to get into the car." Peter chimed in... who was actually sober and was assigned as the designated driver of the bunch. The ride home took about 45 minutes and by the time they reached there house they had sobered up... slightly... They all got out of the car, Quagmire requiring help from Brian .With Peter leading the way, they headed up the walk way toward the door. As soon as they reached it Peter stopped dead in his tracks.
"Dude, what's wrong?" Brian asked
"Dude, when we got the camera... did we leave the door unlocked?" Peter asked frantically.
"Ummm... no I dont think so." Brian replied, not seeming to notice why this was such a big deal. Peter had sobered up severly by now and he pushed the door open and slowly entered. "Brian! Can you help me to the bathroom.?"

"Let's go" Brian replied rolling his eyes.
"Guys! Wait!" Peter yelled. "What if someone is in there???" Brian flipped on the lights and said,
"Relax Peter! No on is in here, you were drunk when you came here earlier... you probably left it unlocked, you've done it before in the past. So stop worrying." Brian then proceeded to haul Quagmire into the bathroom as the others brushed their way in past Peter.
"Peter, man, calm down" Brian said, noticing Peter's still worried face.
"Um... yeah... I'm going to go check on Lois. Ok?"
Peter began walking up the stairs and into his and Lois's bedroom.
"HOLY SHIT!! GUYS GET UP HERE!" They all ran up the stairs, Quagmire lagging slightly behind, and entered the room where Peter was located and found him sobbing hysterically, huddled in the corner of the room, staring at the bed. The others turned to face where Peter was staring and saw Lois brutally cut up lying lifelessly on the bed. Quagmire, being not only drunk but very squeamish, couldn't take the sight and rushed to the bathroom to empty out the contents of his stomach. Brian followed closely behind him and when he reached the bathroom he gasped and yelled to the others. Peter got off the floor and rushed into the bathroom. They found Quagmire and Brian staring at the mirror...
Written in Lois's black eyeliner were the words "AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T TURN ON THE LIGHT?"