Title: Hey, Where Are the Kangaroos?
Authors: Silver Sparklze and The Great Muses
Summary: When Voldemort starts to wonder why Virginia Weasley managed to escape him so long ago, not only are Harry and his friends in danger, the rest of Hogwarts is too. So Professor Dumbledore hatches a brilliant plan to send Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the twins Fred and George, to the last place on Earth that Voldemort would ever look for them…Australia.
Chapter Title: Uniforms
Ash's and Telly's Notes: Ash: Do you like it? O.O
Reviewer Response:
JamieBell: Well you didn't review, but I (Ash) thought I'd tell you that chapter 13 of Curse of Time is up. Thus ends my shameless plug.
Lianghwei: The pranks will be coming soon, don't worry.
The No Life King of Denton: Thanks, we're glad you like it.
"To get to Australia, we have decided to send you by Cross-Country Floo. One of our agents in Australia will take you to the safe house, or the school, depending. You're very lucky to be going at this time of year, since their school year has just started. All of you will be attending the same Muggle High School, Tabanca High. The twins will be in year 12, and you other four will be in year 11. Even you, Ginny, although you are only 16 this year, a year younger than most of the year 11's. You'll leave tonight at 10 o'clock, from the Great Hall fireplace, good luck." Dumbledore's final words just seemed to dismiss them, so they all left.
At about 9:30 that night Harry was summoned to see Dumbledore. He went immediately, wracking his brains for a reason.
Dumbledore smiled when he entered, but it didn't reach his eyes, which were troubled, and devoid of their usual twinkle. "I'm glad you came." He said, puzzling Harry even more. "While you are in Australia, I want to refrain from using magic as much as possible. But if there is an emergency, you may, of course, use any magic you deem necessary.
"The thing is, there's a reason behind us sending you to Tabanca High. Recently, our magic sensors have been going crazy, as have those of the Australian Ministry of Magic. Since Mr. Fudge and the Australian Minister, Miss Law, are in direct correspondence, we have been informed of the problem. The fact that the Dark Magic has reached our sensors means that this is a gigantic amount of Black Magic, and needs to be taken care of as soon as possible.
"You four have a large history in solving riddles, and finding the perpetrators of all sorts of crimes, so we thought we'd kill two birds with one stone. It will give you something to do while you're in Australia, and will definitely help everyone involved.
"We need you to find the wielder, or wielders of this Dark Magic, and inform us. We cannot risk letting anything slide right now. Can you do that for me, Harry? You can, of course, get help from your friends, but I though it was best to have you explain it to them, especially Ginny. I noticed that she has a particular…dislike for anything to do with evil."
Harry nodded, his brain trying to process exactly what he'd heard.
"Good. You'd better go to the Great Hall, or the others might leave without you."
"Ok, bye, Professor."
"Goodbye, Harry."
"I am not wearing this!" Kia said loudly, indicating to her school dress. She'd grown over the hols, and the skirt of her school dress was, in her opinion, dangerously short.
"Why not?" Kira asked, peering into the mirror so she could put on her mascara, "it's still longer than mine. Besides, you've got great legs."
"This from the girl who wanted me to buy a blue and orange halter top." Kia grumbled, but she zipped up the dress anyway, and yanked her hot pink boxers up a bit higher.
Their school dress was mainly white and blue plaid shot through with yellow and green stitching. Regulation said that it was to be no higher than mid-thigh, and no longer than mid-calf, so there was no way Kia could hide behind the rules.
Kia wandered over to the mirror, and chose a light teal eye shadow that brought out the green in her eyes.
"So what's the occasion?" Kira asked, threading dark blue ribbon through the multitude of braids in her red-gold hair.
"Huh?" Kia wasn't really listening, being too busy outlining her eyes in dark green.
"The makeup. Hoping to see Motoki-the-hottie?" Kia flushed, and Kira grinned wickedly. "Ah hah! Caught you."
"Shut up, Kira. For your information, we've got choir today, and we're doing a duet remember?"
"Sugar, you're right!" Kira pushed Kia away from the mirror, and began to redo her hair.
"You're late." Miss Shadebon said sternly.
"Bus," Kira lied smoothly, "what song are we doing?"
"Stand." Miss Shadebon snapped; lips pursed. It was obvious that she'd lost the argument over the newest song.
"Right," Kia said, grinning. Stand was her favourite song.
She and Kira walked over to the stage, and began to sing.
"Went down to the corner shop,
"Saw a shop-lifting cop" Kia sang,
"Saw an old lady with a gun,
Saw the hero try to run" Kira continued. They both began to sing together, just as six people about their age walked in with Amy Shadebon, one of the office helpers for the week. They kept singing regardless, the choir joining in."Mothers weep, children sleep,
"So much violence ends in silence.
"It's a shame there's no one to blame,
"For all the pain that life brings.
"If you would just take me,
"You might just complete me,
And together we can make a stand."
They stopped when Miss Shadebon made a 'cut' motion with her hands. "Yes?" She said to Amy, her niece, and the twins' arch-nemesis.
"Could I please talk to Kira and Kiarna Blythe?" Amy asked, all sugar and sweetness.
"Fcking hell, she's so sweet, I'm getting cavities." Kira muttered.
Kia snorted, trying to contain her amusement.
"Kiarna, Kira, you heard Amy. Off you go." Miss Shadebon snarled.
Kia and Kira followed Amy to the other end of the room.
"Here're your frickin' exchange students." Amy snapped. "Can't you take care of your own crap?"
"Shut up, puss-brain." Kia shot back.
Amy clenched her fists, flushing bright red from the top of her bottle-blonde hair to the tips of her designer shoes. The one blot on her perfect existence was that she'd once had terrible acne, something that neither Kia nor Kira ever let her forget. "Whatever. See you later, choir girls." She flipped her hair over her shoulder, and swanned out, leaving Kia and Kira seething, eyes black with anger.
"Er…hi?" one of the kids, a girl around their age with wild brown hair said, looking a bit uncertain.
Kira switched on the accent and the perkiness so fast Kia expected to see her head spin.
"G'day, mate!" she said, grinning, "Kira Blythe's the name. This here's my sis Kia. Wanna come for a peeky 'round the gaol cells before tuck time?"
The two twin boys, who, until now had been silent, grinned. It was obvious that they liked the look of the two girls before them. "Cool." They said in unison.
"I'm Fred Weasley." Said one,
"And I'm George." Added the other.
"Kia 'n' Kira." Kia said, pointing to herself, and her sister.
"Huh?" The redhead boy asked.
The red-haired girl rolled her eyes. "Hello," she said loudly, "my name is Ginny. These are my friends, and the twins, and clod head are my brothers. We come in peace. Do you speak English?"
"'Nough yakkity, let's split," Kia said in reply, putting on a Hollywood accent so strong even she didn't understand.
"My name's Hermione Granger." The brunette offered.
"Wha's your tag?" Kia asked the 'clod head', "name's not clod head, yeah?"
"Ron, and this is Harry Potter." The red-haired boy grunted, pointing to the boy who had a black mop instead of hair.
Kia and Kira looked at one another. "Word." They said in unison.
"Look, do you speak English or not?" Ginny snapped, "because we don't understand your preppy Valley Girl crap."
"Hey!" Kia exclaimed, "we aren't Valley Girls! Nor are we preps. Want preps, gotta go to St. Margies."
"So you do speak English." Hermione said slyly.
"'Course! Australia was colonised by England." Kira snapped. "Ruddy Poms." She continued under her breath.
"Hey!" Ginny yelped, "I heard that!"
"Build a bridge and get over it." Kira replied, looking bored. "We gonna go see the school or not?"
"Because if we are," Kia continued, "then we can get your uniforms at the same time."
The six English kids exchanged glances. The kind that said 'whoa, freaky'. These girls changed moods so quickly!
"Uh…ok…" Ron said.
"Great." Kia grabbed the arms of the two girls, looping them through her own, "to the canteen! That rank-smelling, unhygienic, cockroach and rat infested pathetic excuse for an eating establishment!" She and Kira shared a grin, and she continued, "which reminds me, we have lunch duty tomorrow."
"I thought it was today." Kira said in confusion.
"Nope, I bribed two little year sevens who'd never done it before to take our place." Kia's eyes danced with mischief.
"Ooh, you wicked, wicked girl," Kira said happily, "I knew there was a manipulative, sly, conniving bone in your body somewhere."
Kia laughed. "Well don't get used to it," she said, "I felt really guilty…not so guilty, though, that I would give them their lunch-time back." The twins led Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley quartet to the canteen.
"Lunch duty?" Harry asked.
"So you can talk!" Kia said, with the air of one who had just discovered a State Secret, "I thought you might be deaf, or mute!" She clapped a hand over her mouth almost immediately, eyes wide, "sorry!" She squealed.
Harry smiled. "I can talk, and I assure you my hearing is quite adequate." He said.
"Oh…anyway…lunch duty…Kira, how does one describe the most hated chore, the most disgusting twist on equality and fairness, the most horrifying, scarring for life job in the whole world?" Kia queried.
"I think you just did," Kira said dryly.
"Did I? Well, for those who have no idea, lunch duty in something between working at the local fish 'n' chips store, and throwing chickens to crocodiles. Disgusting, scarring, frightening, and the pay is terrible. In the case of Tabanca High, the pay is non-existent."
"This job ain't worth the pay, can't wait 'til the end of the day, honey, I'm on my way." Kira said, lips quirking.
Hermione and Kia giggled.
"You've heard of Shania Twain?" Kia asked Hermione in surprise.
"Love her. Mum's favourite singer, and mine too by default." Hermione said, looking like she was admitting a terrible, shameful crime.
"We forgive you," Kia said, patting her arm in a comforting manner, "ah, and here we are! Our wonderful canteen. The place where we have thrown up many a meal."
All of the exchange students looked disgusted, and the twins shared a grin at the Poms' discomfort.
"Er…was this once a stable?" Ginny asked, looking at the divided doors closely as they entered the dingy carpeted building.
"How'd you know?" Kira asked by way of reply.
"Oh, I read the 'S' encyclopaedia in a muggle library."
Kira gave Ginny a weird look.
"You read encyclopaedias? Oh," she said to Ms. Watson, the Canteen Lady, and all-around sweetest woman in the whole school, even if she did stinge a bit on the chocolate pudding, "we have some people who need uniforms and workbooks. They'll give you textbooks in the class," she said as an aside to the exchange students.
Ms. Watson nodded. "Ok," she said, "bring them in here so I can measure them."
Kia and Kira hustled the English teens inside the canteen, and waited patiently while Ms. Watson found the key.
"So," Kira said, grinning, "encyclopaedias, huh?"
"Yeah," Ginny said, wondering was so funny when Kira and her brothers burst out laughing. Not Ron, he was clueless as usual, but Fred and George were almost hysterical, and Harry's mouth was twitching.
She looked to Hermione for an answer, but the brunette was too busy glaring at Kira.
"It's ok, Ginny," Kia said as she struggled with the door, finally wrenching it open, allowing the musty air to spill out, "I read them too sometimes. Come in."
Ginny wrinkled her nose at the dust and spider webs that were everywhere, and noticed with some amount of pleasure that Ron slunk behind Hermione. While the Weasley house wasn't picture-perfect in any way, it was clean. "Sorry," Kia continued, "it hasn't been opened since December."
"That's ok-" Ginny was interrupted by Kira and the twins, who were still laughing. "Give it a rest, will you?" She snapped, glaring at her twin brothers.
They looked almost scared, especially when Hermione added her own glare, as did Kia.
"Um, you mentioned…mukkles? before," said Kia, sizing Fred up for his uniform, poking him every so often with her long fingernails.
"Oh, yeah. Um…that's what I call a rich peoples' library." Ginny lied smoothly.
"There's a difference?"
"No, a library's a library. It's just where they're located."
"How did you get there, then?"
"I walked? I didn't crawl there for Gods' sake." Ginny said, chuckling.
Kia handed everyone his or her uniforms and locked up. They headed towards the change rooms.
"Well," Kia gave Ginny a look that said 'duh', "living so far away on the slum side of London, not having a car, it must have taken you all day to get there! And how could you afford a 'mukkle' account when you've got to pay £2 a week?"
"I can afford £2 a week!" Ginny said hotly.
"It's ok, I won't tell anyone you guys are on a scholarship. But it's nothing to be ashamed of." Kia whispered, "I think that the school's been really good, letting you have the uniforms for free, considering your financial situation."
Ginny opened her mouth indignantly, but Harry laid a hand on her arm. She cooled down immediately and looked up at him.
"Well, didn't you wonder why she looks so great? Gin goes through books so quickly that she has to walk to the epicentre of London nearly every day. And this school is great. When we first arrived, I was so worried about fitting in. I thought, 'I won't be able to afford a uniform, so I'll be a freak.' But they've been really nice." Harry squeezed Ginny's arm gently when he mentioned not being able to afford a uniform.
"Yeah, the teachers and that might suck, but it's pretty fair. Speaking of uniforms, go and get changed." Kia pushed them into the change rooms. "We'll meet you in the canteen. We can probably get you some free food after the rush, 'k?"
"Ok," Hermione agreed on behalf of the group.
Kia and Kira left, and Hermione went to the Girls' Change Rooms to get changed.
Miraculously, the twins decided to be good, and went into the Boys' room. Ron smiled dreamily, before following them, leaving only Harry and Ginny in the foyer.
"Ok, spill." Ginny put her hands on her hips, and looked at Harry accusingly.
Harry smiled at Ginny's temper. "Don't you see?" he asked, "Dumbledore must have used that story to pass us off!"
"Oh. I though she must have somehow known that we…some of us…aren't exactly the richest people on Earth." Ginny smiled. "Well, now that we're finally alone, it would be a pity not to take advantage of the opportunity." She raised her eyebrows suggestively, and Harry shook his head. Her face fell.
"No, Miss Weasley," Harry said in a low voice, "I'd much prefer to take advantage of you." Ginny grinned, as Harry leant forward…
"Gross! That's my sister!" Ron yelped, spoiling the moment.
Ginny glared at Ron, and went to get changed.
Harry raised his eyebrows, letting the annoyance pass as he headed into the change rooms, followed by an irate redhead.
"Keep your hands off her." Ron commanded.
"Forget it. I can't do that any more than you can keep your hands off Hermione." Harry retorted. "Where's your tie?" He asked, directing Ron's attention away from his sister and best friend.
"I'm not wearing it!" Ron said in disgust, glaring at Harry, who was deftly tying the green and grey tie around his neck. "Traitor."
Harry shrugged his shoulders, and walked out. "Suit yourself."
"I swear, Voldemort must have passed more onto you than you think." Ron grumbled.
Harry rolled his eyes, checking his appearance in the mirror. Blue shirt, grey slacks, grey socks, black shoes, a green blazer. He tried to fix his hair, missing the mirror in his dorm, which always told him he was losing the battle, before following Ron and the others back to the canteen. He felt like laughing. 'Us? West Sides? Never.' He sniggered when he saw Ron glaring at all the guys, and a few of the girls too. "Ron, just because their ties are green and grey doesn't mean they're Slytherins. This school doesn't even have houses. And you're going to get into trouble."
Reluctantly, Ron put on his tie, but he couldn't help glaring at himself in every window he passed, attracting many an odd look from their new school-mates…