Title: Hey, Where Are the Kangaroos?

Authors: Silver Sparklze and The Great Muses

Summary: When Voldemort starts to wonder why Virginia Weasley managed to escape him so long ago, not only are Harry and his friends in danger, the rest of Hogwarts is too. So Professor Dumbledore hatches a brilliant plan to send Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the twins Fred and George, to the last place on Earth that Voldemort would ever look for them…Australia.

Chapter Title: Coincidence

Ash's and Telly's Notes: This took me (Ash) a while to type up because my handwriting's terrible. Feel proud. Very proud.

Reviewer Response: Ellemorpheus: Thanks, we're glad you like it.

As Kia and Kira led the new kids around, they chatted about what subjects they were missing.

"Studio Art," Kira said glumly. She liked Art just as much as her sister.

"Huh," Kia replied, "wish I was that lucky. I'm missing out on Psychology. I'm gonna be swamped!"

"Kia, look ou-" Hermione cried, and the rest of thee gang winced as Kia walked straight into a rather solid chest, bouncing back off to land on her arse.

"Ow!" She cried out in pain.

"Are you good, Kia?" Motoki asked, kneeling down next to her.

The others exchanged grins.

"She's as clumsy as Neville." Ron muttered.

"Personally, I reckon she was dropped on her head as a baby, and it rattled her brain." Kira said seriously. "That in turn affected the balance by altering the amount of fluid in her inner ear. Hence, the klutziness."

Kia glared at her twin, before turning back to Motoki, her face softening. "I'm fine." She said, accepting the Japanese teen's hand up.

"I was watching I go." Motoki said ruefully.

"You weren't watching where you were going." Kia translated. "Neither was I. Don't worry about it."

"Gonna introduce us, Kia?" Kira said loudly.

"Oh, sure. Er…Motoki, these are the English exchange students, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George Weasley. Guys, this is my friend, Motoki."

"That's how Ron and Hermione started out, too," Ginny said wickedly, deliberately needling her brother, "as friends."

"Witch." Kia laughed.

"I go now." Motoki said, smiling. "Bye Kia."

Ginny stiffened at Kia's comment. "Excuse me?" She asked angrily.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." Kia hastened to apologise.

"Oh, that's alright." Ginny relaxed, smiling at her.

"Well…um…shall we?" Kira said, after a rather uncomfortable silence in which the twins pondered over the English redhead's strange behaviour, and the English students thought about the unlikely coincidence of Kia happening to call Ginny a witch only moments after meeting her.

"Oh! I forgot to tell Mum!" Kia exclaimed suddenly. "On Sunday you'll have to entertain yourselves. We have Church, then choir."

"Huh?" Ron asked.

Hermione silently begged the sky to swallow her whole and relieve her of her dense boyfriend.

"Well," Kira said, "we're Christians for one thing."

"And we used to go to Bible Club every Saturday night, and give Church a miss, but a coupla weeks ago Kira decided to turn up dressed like a prostitute, so we're banned." Kia glared at her twin, who scowled.

"They were being so rude about people who dress differently! I was proving a point! They were a bunch of bigoted Mormons anyway, always judging on appearance. They needed a wake up call."

"That didn't mean you had to turn up in a black corset top and a leather mini that hardly covered your arse." Kia snarled, quite put out she'd been banned as well. The vicar couldn't – or wouldn't – tell them apart, so he'd forbidden both of them to ever return.

"Relax! You know you like Church better. We'll have an excuse to talk during the sermon, coz we're a part of the Choir."

"Whatever." Kia sneered, turning her back on her twin and taking the English students through the gym, explaining that it was the pride of the school, before beginning her rant on how they cared more about physical prowess and achievement that academic brilliance. "And at the end of every year we're forced to spend a whole day in that bloody gym, watching a bunch of barely dressed guys play basketball, while breathing in stale air that stinks of cigarette smoke, dirty socks, and sweaty unwashed men."

"Please tell me you have a library." Hermione begged.

Kia and Kira looked shocked. "Of course!" They said in unison.

Ginny and Hermione flopped on their beds in Kia and Kira's room, continuing the discussion they'd been having about sex.

"You know, I've always loved the term 'scattering wild oats'." Ginny commented.

"Yeah. I mean, losing your virginity sounds rather careless, don't you think? You'll never find it again." Hermione agreed.

"How about scattering their free range eggs?" Ginny suggested.

Both girls burst into giggles.

"I like eggs." Kia said, walking in with a pile of washing.

Ginny and Hermione snickered even harder.

"What? What did I say?" Kia asked. "Oh, you were talking about sex." The red haired Australian girl groaned, and sat on her bed.

Kira walked in. "Sex talk? Fun." She said, sitting on the other bed. "I've always thought the term 'scattering wild oats into the winds of summer' is way too romantic."

"Sounds like something out of a Mills and Boon™ novel." Kia agreed, and the four girls settled down to have a nice long talk about sex.