Title: Hey, Where Are the Kangaroos?

Authors: Silver Sparklze and The Great Muses

Summary: When Voldemort starts to wonder why Virginia Weasley managed to escape him so long ago, not only are Harry and his friends in danger, the rest of Hogwarts is too. So Professor Dumbledore hatches a brilliant plan to send Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the twins Fred and George, to the last place on Earth that Voldemort would ever look for them…Australia.

Chapter Title: The Simpsons

Ash's and Telly's Notes: This chapter is really just filler, but bear with us.

Reviewer Response: Kate: Thanks, we're glad you like it. Unfortunately, the chapter length is determined by how much is written down.

FuNnY cIdE: We're pretty sure there're no more choir scenes, but if there are, we'll see what we can do.

Kathryn Black: Thanks.

Desert Hacker: Here's some more.

Malicorejewel: Sure, babe. Here's the next chapter for ya.

Raiining: We're glad you like it. Yes, the characters aren't completely canon, but we prefer to have the teens being intelligent and mature (for the most part), not whiny little brats like Harry was in the fifth book.

"So what do you think the girls are talking about?" Ron asked, putting his clothes in his drawers haphazardly.

"Boys." Fred and George said immediately.

Fred was sitting on his bed, meticulously copying out the many uses of mandrakes.

George was tinkering with one of their many inventions, a small silver pocket watch which kept singing God Save the Queen in a high pitched, tinny voice.

"Hey," Fred said suddenly, "did you know that mandrake leaves have narcotic properties? They also make you really high."

"Uh huh. How interesting." Harry said absently, folding his clothes and putting them away neatly.

"You aren't a pansy, are you?" George asked, turning the bedside light on and off. He'd given up on the watch (which was now singing the Song That Never Ends.)

"What?" Harry hung his uniform up and turned around to look at George quizzically.

"Are you gay?" George repeated. "No normal person puts their clothes away like that."

"Hermione does." Ron said, jumping to his girlfriend's defense.

"Yeah, but she's a girl." Fred said dismissively.

"And here I thought you were just a pretty face." An amused voice said. "But you have brains too. What a pleasant surprise."

Harry turned around to see Kira standing in the doorway.

"Sorry to disturb," she continued, looking anything but, "I was just wondering if you wanted to watch The Simpsons with us. Oh, and by the way, we weren't talking about boys…well, not in the strictest sense. We were talking about sex."

"Kira!" An embarrassed voice squealed, and Kira cackled evilly, before running down the stairs.

Harry shook his head, and went to the door.

"Where you going?" Ron asked.

"To watch The Simpsons."

"Whoa…" Ginny breathed, looking around the large lounge room.

It was painted white, with large bay windows covered by dove grey Venetian blinds, and had a wooden floor, with a Persian rug in the middle. Sitting on the rug was a knee-length high table that was piled all over with muggle food and books. One was a book of muggle fairy-tales, which Hermione gazed at longingly.

"Go ahead." A pretty woman with Kia and Kira's eyes, but blonde hair, said. "I don't think Kia will mind. I'm Diana Wesley, the twins' mum."

Hermione flashed her a grateful look, and grabbed the book.

"I'm Ginny Weasley." Ginny said, "and the bookworm's my friend Hermione."

"Nice to meet you, Ginny." Diana smiled.

At that moment, Kira came in, eating cookies. "What're you waiting for?" She asked Ginny, "turn on the tv."

"Er…" Ginny shot Harry a look.

He immediately snatched up a small silver rectangle made out of what muggles called plas-tik, and pointed it at the pane of black glass which took up most of the back wall, pressing a red square in the corner of the rectangle.

Ginny jumped when the tall black box next to her started pumping out loud muggle rock music, and the glass panel flickered into life, showing a dark man wearing not much more than a pair of poured on leather trousers.

"Damn," Kira swore, "Rocky sat on the remote again. Hand it to me would ya, Harry?" Harry handed Kira the 'remote', and the redhead pressed a couple of buttons. "Well, I can't fix it." She said after a couple of minutes. She drew in a deep breath. "KIARNA!!!"

Ginny winced. Kira's voice was louder than the music.

"Yah?" Kia asked, walking in. "Hey," she said, spotting Hermione, "World's Greatest Fairytales! You liking it so far?"

"Yeah, it's brilliant," Hermione said eagerly. "I really love the way they retell the story about the six swans."

"It's really well done, isn't it." Kia agreed.

"Kia!" Kira whined.

Kia rolled her eyes. "Oh, all right, what's wrong?" She asked.

"That fat fur ball sat on the remote again." Kira growled, pointing at what looked like a rather large black velvet cushion.

"He doesn't mean too!" Kia said; her face flushed with anger. "And it's not like it's hard to fix!" She snatched the remote off her sister, and pressed a bunch of buttons in a seemingly random order, before pressing it at the picture of the man in the leather. The picture flickered, before changing to show a white background that had a blue circle in the middle of it. Written inside the circle was 'ten'.

"What was that…music?" Ginny asked, referring to the loud massacre of rock music.

Kia and Kira smirked. "Surround sound." They said in unison.

"Shh," Hermione scolded. "The Simpsons is gonna start soon."

Harry nodded emphatically, and the twin girls sat down on one of the white leather couches happily.

"What're The Simpsons?" Freed asked, coming into the room.

"You don't know about The Simpsons?!" Kia cried.

"Should we?" George asked. Kira pretended to faint.

"Ooh, it's the wickedest show ever." Kia enthused. "It's all about this family of five-"

"I think I'm having a heart attack." Kira gasped,

"-who're your typical American family," Kia continued as though she hadn't been interrupted,

"My heart is no longer beating,"

"Who get into all these not-so-typical situations. Like Lisa, the brainy middle child goes to the future. And Bart, the mischievous eldest child defeats the evil Groundskeeper Willy when he tries to kill all the kids.

"But there're also some normal situations. Like when Bart comforts Lisa after her jazz-playing friend Bleeding Gums dies. He tells Lisa he believes in reincarnation. Lisa asks Bart what he'd like to be if he was reincarnated. Bart says he'd be a butterfly. When Lisa asks why, expecting a really sweet answer, she's told that 'nobody suspects the butterfly.' Then they show a picture of a butterfly with Bart's head torching the school, and the principal being dragged away by the police yelling 'it was the butterfly, I tell you, the butterfly!' So yeah."

Kia took a couple of deep breaths, rather red in the face from talking for so long.

"Shut up, Kia, it's on." Kira scolded.

"Ooh, it's the butterfly one!" Hermione squealed, getting a strange look from Ron.

They sat in silence, watching the half hour episode, and by the end, Fred and George were in stitches.

"That…was…bloody…brilliant!" Fred gasped between snickers of amusement.

George nodded furiously.

"Ok…someone's been standing way to close to the microwave." Kira muttered.

"What do you mean by that?" Ginny asked, automatically sticking up for her older brothers.

"They've got radiation damage. They're too strange." Kira clarified.

Kia looked up from where she was making a collage out of coloured popcorn and bits of carpet lint. "You can never be too strange." She said, grinning.

"Like you would know. You're strange and twisted." Kira snorted.

Kia shrugged. "Sure I'm twisted. But it's a good kind of twisted."

Ginny and Hermione exchanged a look.