Got the idea for this one because it happened to Steve once . . . well, kinda. He just got a bad barber.

By the way, I don't own Naruto or anything pertaining. Kishimoto does.

In His Hair

"Welcome back, young master, have a seat." The barber known as Jona worked furiously to finish his previous haircut as Sasuke walked through the door and sat in the waiting chairs. "How have you been there, kid?"

"Aw, just the same," he replied, sounding as unhappy as ever. Knowing he wouldn't care to return the favor of courtesy, Jona went on about himself.

"Yeah, I've been really busy today . . . haven't seemed to get myself straightened out, so be careful if I decide to shave your head." A joke, of course, but then again, Sasuke never listened anyway. Only thumbed through the magazines, particularly this weeks edition of "N" magazine ("N" for "Nin" magazine), looking at what disgusting apparel they might be sporting this week, and then to the special section where a ninja (or group of them) would appear every month and talk about themselves. This month, he turned to examine the sharp, yet unrefined, features of none other than the Beautiful Beast, Rock Lee. Sasuke jumped in surprise.

"I can't belief they put that oaf in "N" magazine! He's so . . . ugly . . . and weird, and crazy, and full of himself, and he's just such a—"

"Aw, Sasuke, come; be nice. We don't need to be so upset, or jealous, or whatever . . ." Of course Sasuke was spearing Rock Lee—he had the habit of doing so every week. Jona gave a smile and uneasy chuckle to the boyishly evil darts that Sasuke seemed to throw weekly. Why so frustrated? Why was he such a rude kid?

"He's a freak."

It really annoyed Jona to continually hear all these rude comments from Sasuke about another boy that he was probably really jealous of; so in that evil little mind he possessed, he agreed to allow Sasuke a lesson on being "a freak." Just this once, though, he told himself. I can get pretty evil with the scissors, but I'd rather keep my job than have a few good laughs once in a while. "Alright, Uchiha, come have a seat."

Looking morally constipated, Sasuke walked over to the chair in which had only previously sat a familiar face—one of Naruto's little academy friends, who was now leaving with his mom. Jona brushed it off and turned it toward Sasuke, allowing him easier passage into it. He sat down with a still grumpy face and allowed Jona to put the cover around his shoulders for him. He was ready; justice would be served hot and fresh today.

"The usual, Uchiha?"

A scowl. "What do you think?" This would be fun. The barber, with a certain mischievous gleam in his eye, raised the scissors and, turning Sasuke away from the mirror, began to cut.

Snip, snip, snip.

"So, tell me," Jona questioned with fake intentions, smiling behind the guilt he would soon have to live with. "How's the training going?"

"Fine, but listen to this." Sasuke, with his agitated tone of voice, outwardly told the barber to go ahead and serve him the justice he so deliciously deserved. Snip, snip, snip. "So, that funny-lookin' freak comes up to our team the other day while we were training, and he's all like, 'Uchiha,' and I say, 'What?' and he says, 'It was nice to be able to test my skills against you the other day. Thanks,' and I'm all suspicious, you know, and I was wondering what the heck he was talking about, because we didn't fight or anything, so I'm thinking he probably put something nasty in my drink or something and he's laughing right now because I had some—well, problems the other day and he thinks that's funny. That kid's such a freak."

Snip, snip, snip.

"He and his freaky-lookin' teacher."

Snip, snip, snip.

"They shouldn't have been born, they're so freaky. They probably give people nightmares if they walk by—I mean, they're so funny-lookin'."

Snip, snip. Old Jona was doing a lot of cutting this time, but . . . Sasuke didn't care to ask; he was sure the old man knew what he was doing.

"So, let me ask: how would you feel if you were Lee and you got constantly made fun of for how you looked?"

He snorted. "I'd kill myself, save everyone the pain of looking at me and my fruity haircut." Oh, how ironic the retort. For the endurance of the next few minutes, there wasn't much talking, only Jona kindly scolding Sasuke not to judge people because of their "fruity haircut" or huge eyebrows. Sasuke only regarded it all as a defense; Lee had probably paid him to do so, he decided, and this guy was just trying to hold up his end of the deal.

"Alright, Sasuke, I think you're done," Jona finally smiled, putting the finishing touches on Sasuke's lovely new haircut. "I hope you like it and appreciate the results it gives you and the comments from other people."

What? In a sudden thrill of horror, Sasuke turned and beheld his now "fruity" haircut. Now he looked a lot more like Rock Lee and, much to Jona's delight, this kid loved it. Oh, how evil, yet how deserving. Sasuke stared in undiluted horror as his reflection indicated his now stunning resemblance to Rock Lee, his own worst enemy.

"What—why did you do this to me?!!" Sasuke was shouting and throwing a pretty nasty tantrum like a little boy. Jona only laughed, pretending to be sorry.

"Oh, sorry Sasuke! It, uh, must have been a Freudian slip or something—I mean, we did keep talking about Lee a lot, and I must have thought you were him from above. Your hair is almost the same color, you know—" Between laughs, he continued on with how he seriously thought Sasuke was his own opposite image.

"Oh, Jona!!! I'm gonna kill you!" More laughing pierced the air and entered Sasuke's ears, allowing him a lesson he'd probably never forget.

"Not if you make it out her alive, sonny. How are you ever going to live through all the taunting and torment on your way home?" Very good point. Sasuke found himself between a rock and another rock—and he was wearing Rock Lee's hair. He was so frustrated, he almost cried. Not like Jona's laughing didn't help, but as the upset kid he'd just taught a lesson was about to speak, Jona had to throw in another comment: "Hey, I'm pretty satisfied, so don't worry about paying, buddy."

Sasuke, about to boil over, stormed outside. If I'm lucky, I can get home before anyone thinks I'm trying to be a freak—then I can try to do something with my hair! Stupid Jona . . . he'll pay for this—

"Hey, is that Lee?" called a strangely familiar voice. Oh no. A mortified glance over revealed Sakura and Ino a ways off, pointing and waving.

I have to get away! My reputation is ruined!

"Hey, Lee! Come here, I need to ask you a question about your . . . choice of clothing? Hey, what's going on?" Sakura, apparently very confused, was aware that she was yelling at Lee until she realized a very familiar insignia on the back of his shirt: the fan of the Uchiha family. Extremely surprised, her face instantly created the face (the one that Kishimoto should be known for—you know, the one where their teeth look really huge and their eyes are blank and the size of baseballs. I love that face!) that indicated she was severely agitated. Ino questioned her friend's look by her own inquisitive face, and was surprised to hear Sakura's reply: "It's not Lee wearing a new outfit—it's Sasuke wearing a new haircut!"

Ino, also surprised, changed her face to match Ino's. This was ludicrous!

Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-nee-whey . . .

"Okay, if I just stay here at home until my hair grows out, I'll be okay! I'll be okay!!" Sasuke was uselessly trying to console his unsuccessful efforts at trying to slip past the town unnoticed, when in real life, he was probably seen by about everyone in his graduating class and a few of the jounin. Wouldn't it be murderous if Gai or Lee saw me like this! Thank heaven I slipped by unnoticed!

Somewhat successful in his efforts to ease the stress, he collapsed on his bed. I can't stay in here forever. I'm supposed to become strong enough to get revenge on my brother Itachi! I can't let some dorky haircut get in the way!

Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-nee-whey . . .

"Hey, what's wrong with . . . his hair?" Naruto, anxiously awaiting the moment when Sasuke would finally be close enough to be questioned about his "new look," questioned Sakura in an attempt to see if she knew anything about it. Sakura made "the face" again, yet refused to tell Naruto what she saw the other day. He'd only make the situation worse for poor Sasuke. "Hey, freak!" called Naruto. "What's up with your hair?"

Sasuke growled as he approached. I should just turn back, he thought. This is insane. I don't need to train. I'm too good to train. And I am not a freak! "Shut up, Naruto."

"Oh, Sasuke, let's be nice, shall we?"

He suddenly became startled with wide eyes, quietly begging, "Please don't say anything about my hair, please, oh please, oh please . . ." Slowly, his eyes moved up to the tree above and met the upside-down face of his teacher, standing upside-down on the limb of the tree. Would he say anything about the hair? Was he blind enough not to notice? I could blame it on the lighting, or a bad hair day, or a bad barber, or . . . my bad manners. No, I wouldn't do that! Impatiently, he waited further comment from Kakashi.

And then it came like a thousand steely knives to his heart and mind. "Nice haircut."

"Yeah!" called another as Sasuke was about to throw a huge tantrum. Looking over, he discovered the last thing he wanted to see: Rock Lee, accompanied by Tenten, Neji, and Gai—the fruitcake himself. "I like it!" He struck his "good guy" pose, and his teeth shone brilliantly.

The only way out of this is to throw a tantrum, said Sasuke's quick-thinking inner self. I can't let Lee think that I want to be like him or anything, so I have to take desperate measures! And so he did, acting like a little boy and stomping around, throwing his fists around in the air and screaming through clenched teeth. "You don't think it was intentional, do you! How dare you be alive! How dare you make fun of me—it's your haircut! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be like this! You fr—

"No, Sasuke, you get the wrong idea," Lee said calmingly. "I like it! I didn't know you wanted to be that much like me! That makes me feel happy!"

"Uh, Lee, I think you get the wrong idea," began Tenten, but Lee was now happily skipping away, walking—or hopping—a little taller than he was yesterday. Tenten followed, leaving Gai and Neji behind, staring at Sasuke. Gai smiled, patted Sasuke's head.

"Lee's really happy, I hope you know, but there's one thing he didn't tell you," the hairy man began, allowing time for Sasuke to hear Naruto and Kakashi laughing at these boyish follies of popularity and "who looks freakier than who."

"What is it?" the boy asked snottily. Gai smiled greatly.

"The haircut's great, but . . . you look like a freak." Neji's words stung like acid to Sasuke, and Gai tried, through hearty laughing, to get Neji to apologize. Neji refused, of course; he knew Sasuke deserved it.

But still, would he ever learn?