A/N: Hola! Como estas Senior(s) y Seniorita(s). Chico(s) y Chica(s)? Sorry…. I'll stop while I'm ahead. Anyway, I just wanted to say that my Amiga, Seniorita Louise, thought up this fanfic. (I can't help but use my mediocre Spanish. I'm finally able to take a Spanish class this year. Yay!) But back to the note. I thought this was hilarious, and my friend never gets around to writing fanfics. I, on the other hand, have too much free time. For those of you who like the evil Britney Spears, I am sorry for all slams I say about her on this fic. But please continue to read it, it'll be super funny if I write it correctly. That is the challenge for me. (Takes deep breath). Ok…..on with the show.
Disclaimer: I do not own Wiess Kreuz or Britney Spears (thank God!)
Title: Aya's "Toxic" Mission
It was a warm summer day in Japan, and the business in the Koneko was the same as it always was. Cram packed with schoolgirls and other customers looking at what was on display. Oh, and the flowers. The four Wiess guys were busy as usual and were in desperate need of a break.
"Hey, Yohji! Hurry up with that order for Mrs. McLaughlin! She needs it now!" Ken yelled from the counter.
"Keep your panties on, Ken! I'm working as fast as I can!" Came the reply from the back room.
"Omi, Miss. Callugan dropped a vase over there by the display case, could you go and sweep it up?" Ken asked.
"I'm sorry, Ken. But I have to deliver three dozen roses to St. Christopher's Church by noon." He said as he ran out of the room with three dozen multicolored roses in his arms.
"Ken I need help watering all of these plants." Ran called from across the shop.
"I would help you, Ran, but I have seventeen customers here in line to pay."
Finally everyone had left and they were able to close the shop for lunch. They were all leaning against the wall, panting and wiping sweat off their faces.
"whew That was pure hell and a half." Ken said with a yawn.
"Tell me about it. While you guys were here looking at all the hot young lady's, I was stuck in the back with no eye candy at all for five hours! You can't do that to a Yohji! It just doesn't work!" Yohji whined.
The other three groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Oh, just suck it up and be a man for once, Yohji. All you do is whine. That isn't very manly." Omi commented with a grin.
Yohji was just about to make another statement when what Omi said sunk in. In mid comment, Yohji glared Omi. "Oooo….ouch, Omitchi. Way ouch. That is gonna cost ya. I don't know how, and I don't know when, but sooner or later I will get you back for bruising my ego."
"Lady's, will you please grow up? You are both acting childish." Ran said pointedly.
Everyone was silently staring at Ran. Yohji was the one (of course) to break the silence. "Oh my God, Ran."
Ran's eyes opened wide. "What?"
"Was that the beginning of a sense of humor?" Yohji said with a huge grin.
Ran rolled his eyes once more, then closed them as he stood up. "Yohji, has anybody ever informed you that you are a psychopathic, egotistical, self-centered, pompous, arrogant, unimaginative, single minded, eunuch, that has no sense of professionalism?
Omi and Ken howled with laughter. Yohji just gave Ran a hard steady look. "Ya know, I heard the word "eunuch" and for that I will kill you. The rest was gibberish. You pompous, arrogant, stick-up the ass bastard."
"Oh, now it's getting personal. Omi, prepare for battle." Ken said, pulling Omi under the nearest table. Both knew where this was leading.
Ran stopped dead in his tracks. Back as straight as an arrow, each long red hair from his head was standing on end. This wasn't good. Everyone knew on how sensitive Ran was with his personality and attitude, and when somebody comes along and messes with his ego, there would be hell to pay. There was no mercy once you had crossed that line.
Especially if your Yohji.
Ran ever so mercilessly turned to face Yohji. Hate and death filled his eyes. "Do you want to run that by me again, Yohji?" He stressed vehemently. Without even giving Yohji a chance to defend himself, Ran sprung on top of him and raised his fist.
"You insensitive prick, what the hell do you think you are doing? Talking to me like that!" Ran shouted. But before he could collide his fist with the side of Yohji's jaw, Omi pulled his arm back.
"Ran, stop! You know this isn't right, and it's not like you to stoop so low!"
Ran stopped and suddenly realized the young assassin was right. This was unlike him. And he hated the reaction his body was having to being on top of Yohji. Wait! Stop! This isn't right! What the….no! I refuse to have a liking for the dumb blonde playboy pinned to the ground beneath me, Ran thought desperately. He quickly pulled his arm to his side and slid off Yohji. But he wouldn't let Omi have the last word. Turning back to Yohji who was panting with the lack of air, he said "don't let me ever catch you talking about my stick that is up my ass. Or I will find a good sized one myself and shove it up yours. And if your not careful, it may just be my katana."
"Oooo….that sounds like fun, Ranie. I can come up with many kinky little games we could play some night if you're in that kind of mood." Yohji said with a wink.
Ran growled and stomped off up to his room.
"Yohji, quit patronizing him. You are going to do that at the wrong day, at the wrong time and he really is going to kill you." Omi warned.
Yohji just laughed and walked off into the kitchen.
Omi sighed and lowered his head in defeat. Ken walked over to him and wrapped his arm lovingly around his shoulders for support. "Hey, you're doing a great job at keeping them from killing one another. But you and I both know that they will just have to work things out on their own. The time will come when they both have to face the truth about each other and their feelings. We were lucky and found out about our feelings earlier than they have." He said with a soft smile.
Omi beamed up at Ken and knew that he was right. He gave Ken a quick peck on the lips before he ran downstairs to print something off the internet.
Yup, Ken thought. Their time will come. Weather they see it now or not, they are destined to be together. This should be an interesting experience.
(Ran's P.O.V)
"Stupid imbecilic prick. What the hell did he mean 'stick up the ass'. I should have killed him! But why hadn't I? Because Omi stopped me. That's why." But another voice entered his head as he thought about that topic. You wanted to be on top of Yohji. You wanted to do many things to him that involved a different kind of pain and you know it. Ran shook his head, dismissing the voice. That is definitely not true. I'd rather die that to like him. Maybe if I can pay Omi or Ken enough, they will kill me and put me out of my misery. That would be nice. Though, that would give Yohji the benefit of the doubt. And I wouldn't want that. Maybe they can kill Yohji! Yeah! That would be great! But, then where would we be when it came to mission time. This sucks! I'm never going to be rid of that prick!
Ran sighed heavily and flung himself on his bed. One of these days I'm going to kill him. I truly will.
(Yohji's P.O.V)
Well. That was entertaining. And fun! Boy, does he get moody! Well, the truth hurts. Especially if your name is Ran Fujimiya. Jeez, someday I will make him pay for calling me a eunuch. That bastard!
And with that, the simple minded Yotan opened the fridge and took out his "hidden" bottle of vodka. There was nothing else for him to say. Anything appropriate to type, that is.
Later that night (about 8:00)
Omi ran up the stairs up to Ran's room. "Ran! Hey Ran!" He skidded into Ran's room just as he opened the door to see what all the commotion was about.
"Manx and Berman just informed me that they will be here in just a few minutes to give us a mission! Hurry up downstairs!" He said breathlessly.
Ran nodded and stepped out of his room, closing the door behind him.
Yohji did the same, since he was standing out in the hall as Omi mentioned this to Ran. He and Ran were still at war with one another. They hadn't spoken to each other since their fight eight hours ago!
How childish! Omi thought, pouting. When will they learn that it is a futile attempt to hate each other so much? Then he shrugged off the thought. He knew that Ken was right, and that the time will come when they realize their feelings for each other. Let's just hope it's soon before they drive all of us insane!
Once everybody was in the mission room, Manx began the basics of their targets. But, there was something totally and completely different about this one. Apparently, some "hot" idol from America was coming to Japan to do a concert. Some chick named Britney Spears. (I have no clue who she is, but she seems scary! Omi thought to himself) As soon as her picture came up on the screen, Yohji whistled. "Holly shit! What a babe!"
Ran rolled his eyes in disgust. Both were sitting on opposite ends of the room.
"Yeah. But something happened and she was killed by some crazy fan. Nobody knows about it, and we mustn't let the truth get out until after we find and kill the guy who killed her." Burman explained.
"And just how in the hell do we keep a dead chick alive?" Ken asked getting confused. And we all know that when Ken is confused he gets crabby such as this case.
Manx looked stared directly at Ran. "One of you has to dress up as her."
Ran paled, but glared right back at her. "No. Fucking. Way."
"Ran, you are the only one alive that looks almost exactly like her!" Omi said.
Ran turned his icy glare back at Omi. "I'd rather die. There is no way in hell you can make me."
Burman smirked. "I wouldn't be so against it if I were you, Ran."
"And why the hell not?"
"Because this was pretty much all Aya-Chan's idea. We were trying as hard as possible to find another person to fill in for Britney Spears, but to no avail. So, your sister told us you should do it, and if you were to be against it, then to call her and she'd make sureyou would do it."
The room was silent.
Groaning, Ran sulked in his seat. "I hate you, and I hate my sister," he said miserably.
Manx grinned. "Well, lets get you dressed. If you think you hate us now, just wait until you get into your costume."
20 Minutes Later
"I HATE YOU ALL! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WILL EVER COME OUT OF THIS ROOM AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Ran screamed from the bathroom.
"Come on, Ran. It can't possibly be that bad." Omi said, leaning against the wall by the bathroom.
"You want to bed?" Cried Ran.
"Just come on out." Ken said with encouragement.
"Fine!" And with that, Ran stepped out of the bathroom.
Silence.
More silence.
And yet, more silence.
"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL SO SILENT?!"
The room fills with laughter.
Ran was wearing a long red wig and black sunglasses. Long shiny black leather was skimpily wrapped around his slender body. He was wearing a wonder bra, which seemed to fit him fine, though a little out of the ordinary. (Well, duh!) And he was wearing shiny black leather hooker boots that went to his knees.
"This really sucks." Ran said as the others continued to laugh. Getting aggravated, Ran stormed up the stairs to get away from the laughter. But, because of his lack of experience in all this leather….he had a serious wedgy. Not to mention the "slingshot" a.k.a. the "thong" he was wearing was riding up his ass, he tried desperately to dig it out, thus making him loose his balance. He began to fall off the stairs, but Yohji was there to catch him. This didn't tie over to well.
Yohji gave him a huge Cheshire cat grin.
Ran just wanted to castrate him. This couldn't get any worse. Oh how he was wrong. By far, was he wrong.