Author's Notes: First off, I'd like everyone who left me reviews, not only here for "Why Video Game Characters Aren't Allowed to Add-lib", but also for my "poem" of sorts, "The Devil Went Down to Nosgoth" (If you haven't read it yet, and like this one, I'd strongly suggest it—it's almost as "bad".). I'm glad so many enjoy my ramblings thus far, and would like to say to everyone suggesting scenes that while I enjoy and appreciate you're input, I really only want to mutilate scenes that I think of first. Though never fear—if this turns out to be popular enough, and I stick with it, I'll eventually start having to use suggestions. So I will eventually greatly appreciate it! I would have done another "reviewing the reviews" thing, but it would have taken up a lot more room than last time, and I don't know about you, but I usually just scroll past that anyway. lol Oh, and anyone who was wondering, Razielia is indeed the production of watching the Defiance voice session outtakes too many times. Anyway, to everyone who DID review, I greatly appreciate and acknowledge you all—you're support has thus inspired installment three of...
Why Video Game Characters Aren't Allowed to Add-lib 3
Soul Reaver 2—Raziel and Ariel
As Raziel approached the Pillars, he found them to be a familiar sight to his fiery eyes. These broken stumps are what he remembered, though Kain had made some...alterations to them in order to form the Sanctuary of the Clans, especially to the fallen Balance Pillar. Even then he had known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that the falling of the Pillars of Nosgoth had been disastrous to the world. But now, after all he had seen and done, he now looked upon the stumps with a new, somewhat enlightened sense of horror.
He began to come closer to the Pillars, and as he did so he discerned the shape of the spirit of Ariel, the murdered Balance Guardian, trapped in this hellish place for over a century by then. He paused and listened to her lamenting to herself, unaware of his presence.
"Forever I am bound, hope abandoned, my spirit tethered to this place," she moaned, "What destroyed the Circle could not touch me, for I was newly dead and beyond harm's reach. I alone was spared the decent into madness, and Kain alone was spared the pain of death. When Nupraptor's poison seized Kain even in the safety of the womb, much more than just his destiny was lost. All of Nosgoth lost balance. Consider us now... I, pure but unsubstantial; and Kain, terribly real, but corrupted."
The turning of pages startles the trapped spirit, and Ariel turns to see Raziel for the first time, looking through a spiraled bound script labeled "Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2" on the font cover.
"That little rant sure makes up for you not having many scenes, doesn't it?" he mused as he read. "I can't believe they actually want me to say all this...And most of it's pretty mild, too, compared to what I really want to say."
Ariel snorted and crossed her arms, her one good eye glaring down at Raziel. "Oh, really? And what would you really like to say?"
"That you whine a lot," Raziel said bluntly, closing the script and stashing it away under his tabard. "Really, woman—were you on your period or something when you died? And please don't say you're moody because you were pregnant, because I really don't want to imagine you and Nupraptor getting 'jiggy with it' as it were."
Ariel gasped, offended. "I most certainty was NOT menstruating at the time of my murder, nor was I pregnant!" she snapped, "But would you be the most delightful of people if you had been imprisoned here for 130 years?!"
"And that brings me to my next statement," Raziel continued. "If 30 years makes you newly dead, then I'd hate to think what I am. Newly dead? For crying out loud, even the worms would be tired of your carcass by then..."
"Oh, yes, you're deffiantely a good person to talk to about the freshness of one's death, Mr. Reaver of Souls," she snorted, then suddenly remembered something she'd over heard earlier. "Hey, didn't Kain tear you a new one last time you strayed from the script?"
Raziel's eyes narrowed. "No, for the millionth time, it was a draw," he growled, "And besides, he started it."
"Oh, I'm sure," Ariel nodded, but it was obviously a mocking gesture. "The fact that you were comparing him to Mario Mario had nothing to do with that."
"What, now you're defending him?!" Raziel exclaimed. "Just a minute ago, you were moaning and carrying on about how this is all his fault!"
"Yes, but I just decided that I don't like you," she stated, "So I'm going to use everything that I can against you, specter."
"Oh, yeah, and what are you gonna do? Yell at me, you harpy?" he shook his head, then muttered. "Liked me well enough before..."
"What was that?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing," he cleared his throat. "You know, I don't actually have time for this, so why don't..."
"Oh, yes, why don't you?" she hissed. "Go away and leave me to my despairing, it's the only job I have in this dumb series anyway..."
"No, you have two," Raziel corrected. "You despair, and you give really lousy and misleading directions."
Ariel glared at him again. "I don't have to take this!" she exclaimed, then floated away, seeming to disappear into the air.
Raziel's eyes widened considerably. Only he knew that, were he still capable, he'd be smirking. "She don't know me to well, do she?" he snickered, and then changed realms. As he turned, his arms rose into the proper position, and he noticed the familiar distortion of the world around him, along with the sickening green tent that accompanied any trip into the Spectral Realm. After he had fully changed realms, he looked about in search of the Balance Guardian. It had been a while since he'd seen someone besides him in woe, and terrorizing Ariel was fun.
"Here Ariel, Ariel, Ariel..." he called, "Come out, come out, wherever you are..."
Ariel's voice called out from behind the Balance Pillar. "No Ariels here, just us lost and, um, hungry wraiths. And chickens. Lost, hungry wraiths with chickens. No Ariels. Fresh out. Sorry. Better luck next time. Go away."
Raziel followed the voice, finding the spirit cowering behind the Balance Pillar. Ariel gulped when she saw Raziel. In a desperate attempt at peace, she went out on a limb and back to the script. "Why do you hound me, demon?" she said in her usual, mournful voice. "You can see I am captive here. Show me some mercy."
Raziel just stared at her for a moment. "You can't tell it, but I'm rolling my eyes at you," he stated, "Why do I hound you? Because it's fun. And yes, I can see you are captive here, so what sort of mercy would you like me to show you?" He looked around a bit, then jumped off the Pillars' platform. "Oh, you meant by leaving?" Ariel nodded. Raziel chuckled. "Okay, I'll leave, because unlike you, I can." He took several steps away from the Pillars. "But I can also come back." And he came back to them, stepping back up on the platform. Ariel glared at him. "And I can leave again..." And he jumped off, did a little dance, and then jumped on again. "And I can come back again. Unlike you, because you're forever bound to the Pillars, and CAN'T leave." He really wished he could smirk suddenly. "Want me to bring you something back from the swamp or something?" Suddenly, Ariel gave a loud wail, fell down to the ground and covered her face with her hands. "That's it!" she cried, "Screw it, I quit!" "You can't quit," he mocked, "I've seen you're contract, and you can't quit until you've been trapped here for at least 2,000 years." Ariel wailed again, and Raziel chuckled menacingly as he reached for his tabard. "How about I suck you up and send you into oblivion? Is that what you meant by mercy?"
"EEEKK!" Ariel shrieked, and then she jumped up and made a mad dash to try and escape Raziel via leaving the pillars. Just as she reached the edge of the platform, however, an invisible guard confronted her, and she was thrown backwards a ways. Ariel cursed whatever deity or cooperate jerk that thought trapping her there was a good idea. Raziel began to advance on her.
"Oh, come on," he cooed, "It doesn't hurt...I don't think..." He restrained a laugh.
"ACK!" she yelled again, and then began to run circles around the Pillars, her constraints unwilling to release her even when she was in peril. Raziel happily followed, taking great pleasure out of her girlish screams and taunting her. Suddenly, all joy was taken from the situation as an extremely girly voice broke in, causing both to stop.
"Razi! Razi! He's our ghoul! If he can't do it, that's not cool!" it chanted. Fearfully, Raziel turned and looked in the voice's direction. Standing between the broken Pillars of Nature and Energy stood a creature that bore a striking resemblance to Raziel. And yet...it didn't. While the eyes, skin, and even tattered wings and symbiotic Soul Reaver remained the same, the creature that stood before Raziel was most definitely NOT he. This being, instead, wore not a tabard around its mouth, but a layer of gold satin. It also wore clothes around its body, including a tattered red gown, a pair of full orange ladies' gloves, and four-inch orange high- heels. The Reaver that it bore was red, orange, and gold, though very distinct from any Fire Reaver Raziel had ever wielded. It's hair was long, and pulled back into a braid down it's back.
"Oh, I know what you're staring at," the girly voice said, presumably from this new...figure. "Usually, I'm a Winter, but this entire situation just got me so excited! And excitement always turns me into an Autumn."
Both Raziel and Ariel now stared. "Uh...and who are you?" Ariel asked, now more curious of the new comer than fearful of Raziel eating her.
"Oh, I'm Razielia, the Drag Reaver," it stated, "I'm from an alternate reality and somehow managed to find myself here...So, I decided that, since I'm here, I might as well aid myself in this reality—you!" Razielia happily gestured to Raziel. Raziel's eyes widened, appalled.
"Um, uh, no thanks, don't need any help...," he stammed, and began to walk backwards. Ariel smirked. Now it was her turn to enjoy herself.
Razielia crossed her arms, careful not to strike herself with the Autumn Reaver. "Why?" she snapped, "Have a problem with drag queens or something?? Don't tell me that here I'm a homophobe, because then I'd have to kill you."
"No, no, not at all," he murmered, "It's just I, uh, usually work alone..."
"Oh, honey, that makes perfect sense," Razielia said with understanding, "Why else would you be walking around looking like that if you didn't have a partner? I mean, really, even if you don't have much anymore, might as well flaunt what's left!" She giggled. Raziel cringed. "But, don't worry, doll, all that will come later. Right now, you just need to keep you're moral up...And what better way to do that then with your own personal cheerleader?!"
"My...own...cheerleader?" Raziel stared at his double. "Listen, Miss...Mister...Um, what are you, anyway?"
Suddenly, Razielia's voice took on a very deep, masculine tone. "Baby, I can be whatever you want me to be."
That was it. On that note, Raziel turned and began to run away from the Pillars as fast as he could, his broken wings trailing out behind him like runners. Razielia ran after, being quite skilled at it in her tattered gown and heels. Apparently, she'd had lots of practice. "Wait!" she called, now back to her girlish voice, "Wait! We didn't get to discuss you're cheers!!"
Ariel fell to the ground and started laughing and holding her sides (a left over habit from life). "So long!" she called to Raziel happily, "Don't forget to write!"
Why Video Game Characters Aren't Allowed to Add-lib 3
Soul Reaver 2—Raziel and Ariel
As Raziel approached the Pillars, he found them to be a familiar sight to his fiery eyes. These broken stumps are what he remembered, though Kain had made some...alterations to them in order to form the Sanctuary of the Clans, especially to the fallen Balance Pillar. Even then he had known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that the falling of the Pillars of Nosgoth had been disastrous to the world. But now, after all he had seen and done, he now looked upon the stumps with a new, somewhat enlightened sense of horror.
He began to come closer to the Pillars, and as he did so he discerned the shape of the spirit of Ariel, the murdered Balance Guardian, trapped in this hellish place for over a century by then. He paused and listened to her lamenting to herself, unaware of his presence.
"Forever I am bound, hope abandoned, my spirit tethered to this place," she moaned, "What destroyed the Circle could not touch me, for I was newly dead and beyond harm's reach. I alone was spared the decent into madness, and Kain alone was spared the pain of death. When Nupraptor's poison seized Kain even in the safety of the womb, much more than just his destiny was lost. All of Nosgoth lost balance. Consider us now... I, pure but unsubstantial; and Kain, terribly real, but corrupted."
The turning of pages startles the trapped spirit, and Ariel turns to see Raziel for the first time, looking through a spiraled bound script labeled "Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2" on the font cover.
"That little rant sure makes up for you not having many scenes, doesn't it?" he mused as he read. "I can't believe they actually want me to say all this...And most of it's pretty mild, too, compared to what I really want to say."
Ariel snorted and crossed her arms, her one good eye glaring down at Raziel. "Oh, really? And what would you really like to say?"
"That you whine a lot," Raziel said bluntly, closing the script and stashing it away under his tabard. "Really, woman—were you on your period or something when you died? And please don't say you're moody because you were pregnant, because I really don't want to imagine you and Nupraptor getting 'jiggy with it' as it were."
Ariel gasped, offended. "I most certainty was NOT menstruating at the time of my murder, nor was I pregnant!" she snapped, "But would you be the most delightful of people if you had been imprisoned here for 130 years?!"
"And that brings me to my next statement," Raziel continued. "If 30 years makes you newly dead, then I'd hate to think what I am. Newly dead? For crying out loud, even the worms would be tired of your carcass by then..."
"Oh, yes, you're deffiantely a good person to talk to about the freshness of one's death, Mr. Reaver of Souls," she snorted, then suddenly remembered something she'd over heard earlier. "Hey, didn't Kain tear you a new one last time you strayed from the script?"
Raziel's eyes narrowed. "No, for the millionth time, it was a draw," he growled, "And besides, he started it."
"Oh, I'm sure," Ariel nodded, but it was obviously a mocking gesture. "The fact that you were comparing him to Mario Mario had nothing to do with that."
"What, now you're defending him?!" Raziel exclaimed. "Just a minute ago, you were moaning and carrying on about how this is all his fault!"
"Yes, but I just decided that I don't like you," she stated, "So I'm going to use everything that I can against you, specter."
"Oh, yeah, and what are you gonna do? Yell at me, you harpy?" he shook his head, then muttered. "Liked me well enough before..."
"What was that?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing," he cleared his throat. "You know, I don't actually have time for this, so why don't..."
"Oh, yes, why don't you?" she hissed. "Go away and leave me to my despairing, it's the only job I have in this dumb series anyway..."
"No, you have two," Raziel corrected. "You despair, and you give really lousy and misleading directions."
Ariel glared at him again. "I don't have to take this!" she exclaimed, then floated away, seeming to disappear into the air.
Raziel's eyes widened considerably. Only he knew that, were he still capable, he'd be smirking. "She don't know me to well, do she?" he snickered, and then changed realms. As he turned, his arms rose into the proper position, and he noticed the familiar distortion of the world around him, along with the sickening green tent that accompanied any trip into the Spectral Realm. After he had fully changed realms, he looked about in search of the Balance Guardian. It had been a while since he'd seen someone besides him in woe, and terrorizing Ariel was fun.
"Here Ariel, Ariel, Ariel..." he called, "Come out, come out, wherever you are..."
Ariel's voice called out from behind the Balance Pillar. "No Ariels here, just us lost and, um, hungry wraiths. And chickens. Lost, hungry wraiths with chickens. No Ariels. Fresh out. Sorry. Better luck next time. Go away."
Raziel followed the voice, finding the spirit cowering behind the Balance Pillar. Ariel gulped when she saw Raziel. In a desperate attempt at peace, she went out on a limb and back to the script. "Why do you hound me, demon?" she said in her usual, mournful voice. "You can see I am captive here. Show me some mercy."
Raziel just stared at her for a moment. "You can't tell it, but I'm rolling my eyes at you," he stated, "Why do I hound you? Because it's fun. And yes, I can see you are captive here, so what sort of mercy would you like me to show you?" He looked around a bit, then jumped off the Pillars' platform. "Oh, you meant by leaving?" Ariel nodded. Raziel chuckled. "Okay, I'll leave, because unlike you, I can." He took several steps away from the Pillars. "But I can also come back." And he came back to them, stepping back up on the platform. Ariel glared at him. "And I can leave again..." And he jumped off, did a little dance, and then jumped on again. "And I can come back again. Unlike you, because you're forever bound to the Pillars, and CAN'T leave." He really wished he could smirk suddenly. "Want me to bring you something back from the swamp or something?" Suddenly, Ariel gave a loud wail, fell down to the ground and covered her face with her hands. "That's it!" she cried, "Screw it, I quit!" "You can't quit," he mocked, "I've seen you're contract, and you can't quit until you've been trapped here for at least 2,000 years." Ariel wailed again, and Raziel chuckled menacingly as he reached for his tabard. "How about I suck you up and send you into oblivion? Is that what you meant by mercy?"
"EEEKK!" Ariel shrieked, and then she jumped up and made a mad dash to try and escape Raziel via leaving the pillars. Just as she reached the edge of the platform, however, an invisible guard confronted her, and she was thrown backwards a ways. Ariel cursed whatever deity or cooperate jerk that thought trapping her there was a good idea. Raziel began to advance on her.
"Oh, come on," he cooed, "It doesn't hurt...I don't think..." He restrained a laugh.
"ACK!" she yelled again, and then began to run circles around the Pillars, her constraints unwilling to release her even when she was in peril. Raziel happily followed, taking great pleasure out of her girlish screams and taunting her. Suddenly, all joy was taken from the situation as an extremely girly voice broke in, causing both to stop.
"Razi! Razi! He's our ghoul! If he can't do it, that's not cool!" it chanted. Fearfully, Raziel turned and looked in the voice's direction. Standing between the broken Pillars of Nature and Energy stood a creature that bore a striking resemblance to Raziel. And yet...it didn't. While the eyes, skin, and even tattered wings and symbiotic Soul Reaver remained the same, the creature that stood before Raziel was most definitely NOT he. This being, instead, wore not a tabard around its mouth, but a layer of gold satin. It also wore clothes around its body, including a tattered red gown, a pair of full orange ladies' gloves, and four-inch orange high- heels. The Reaver that it bore was red, orange, and gold, though very distinct from any Fire Reaver Raziel had ever wielded. It's hair was long, and pulled back into a braid down it's back.
"Oh, I know what you're staring at," the girly voice said, presumably from this new...figure. "Usually, I'm a Winter, but this entire situation just got me so excited! And excitement always turns me into an Autumn."
Both Raziel and Ariel now stared. "Uh...and who are you?" Ariel asked, now more curious of the new comer than fearful of Raziel eating her.
"Oh, I'm Razielia, the Drag Reaver," it stated, "I'm from an alternate reality and somehow managed to find myself here...So, I decided that, since I'm here, I might as well aid myself in this reality—you!" Razielia happily gestured to Raziel. Raziel's eyes widened, appalled.
"Um, uh, no thanks, don't need any help...," he stammed, and began to walk backwards. Ariel smirked. Now it was her turn to enjoy herself.
Razielia crossed her arms, careful not to strike herself with the Autumn Reaver. "Why?" she snapped, "Have a problem with drag queens or something?? Don't tell me that here I'm a homophobe, because then I'd have to kill you."
"No, no, not at all," he murmered, "It's just I, uh, usually work alone..."
"Oh, honey, that makes perfect sense," Razielia said with understanding, "Why else would you be walking around looking like that if you didn't have a partner? I mean, really, even if you don't have much anymore, might as well flaunt what's left!" She giggled. Raziel cringed. "But, don't worry, doll, all that will come later. Right now, you just need to keep you're moral up...And what better way to do that then with your own personal cheerleader?!"
"My...own...cheerleader?" Raziel stared at his double. "Listen, Miss...Mister...Um, what are you, anyway?"
Suddenly, Razielia's voice took on a very deep, masculine tone. "Baby, I can be whatever you want me to be."
That was it. On that note, Raziel turned and began to run away from the Pillars as fast as he could, his broken wings trailing out behind him like runners. Razielia ran after, being quite skilled at it in her tattered gown and heels. Apparently, she'd had lots of practice. "Wait!" she called, now back to her girlish voice, "Wait! We didn't get to discuss you're cheers!!"
Ariel fell to the ground and started laughing and holding her sides (a left over habit from life). "So long!" she called to Raziel happily, "Don't forget to write!"