Chapter 9
The threat that he-who-must-not-be-named and his followers had once posed to the wizarding community had dissipated and presently the wizard world was enveloped in a state of uneasy calm. One day, the violence of Voldemort pressed in on the forces of good from all sides, threatening to crush them, and the next, he seemed to have disappeared. However, only the very foolish would let themselves believe he was gone for good, because the jaded knew better. He would be back. They knew Voldemort was lying in wait, biding his time, waiting for the perfect time to strike, when it was least expected.
And things were no different at Hogwarts. There were no more whispers of dark things in the corridors, no more "accidents" concerning the children of Muggles, and Lucius Malfoy and Severus were rarely seen at all, least of all conversing with other suspicious individuals.
These thoughts, which had once permanently occupied Darwin's mind, were now far away. She had more important, or seemingly anyway, things to deal with. Some time had passed since her first date with Remus and the students of Hogwarts were now so close to the Christmas Holidays they didn't even bother to hide their disinterest in their lessons anymore.
It was a quiet night inside the castle - there had been a heavy snowfall during the day and most of the students were outside enjoying it. However, Remus and Darwin, their relationship having progressed and deepened quite nicely over the past few months, opted to stay inside and enjoy the moment of quiet.
They were in the sixth year boys' dormitory, which was a much more private place then the common room. As it turned out, the sixth year boys only used their dormitory to sleep and so it was a pretty safe bet that they would have all the privacy they wanted.
They were snuggled together on Remus's bed under a pile of thick blankets, experiencing that warm feeling that one only gets when you know it's freezing outside but you're nice and warm inside.
Most of the time, Remus was very easy going and openly affectionate. The whole concept of a personal "bubble" of space was just absurd to him and by this point, he didn't give a damn what Sirius thought, or anyone else, for that matter. But tonight, something was wrong. He was fidgety and he seemed incredibly uncomfortable. He seemed to try and avoid making to much contact with Darwin and his mind seemed miles away. As she looked at him, he had his eyes closed and he appeared to be breaking out in a light sweat.
"You're alright, then?" She asked timidly.
"Yes." He swallowed and she could see his Adam's apple bob up and down. "I'm just feeling a little off."
"Should you maybe go to the Hospital Wing?" She asked. As she did so, she softly caressed his neck with her hand, kissing it once or twice.
This seemed to make him even more uncomfortable. His mouth dropped open and his breathing quickened. He pulled her hand away.
"No, no, I'm fine." He rasped, his eyes still closed.
"You're sure?" She asked quietly, moving her face closer to his. Her hand moved to his chest where she could feel his heart through his clothes, beating a mile a minute.
"Yes."
She kissed him then, he was just too irresistible. At first his response was timid and slow, and then suddenly turned ferocious. His hands, which were surprisingly strong, were everywhere at once, but then suddenly, he stopped. He pulled back to look Darwin in the eye. He wore a pained expression, his eyes glazed over.
"Sorry." He rasped. He then rolled off of the bed, now genuinely sweating, and shuffled over to one of the windows. Once there, he flung it open and let in the cool night air. Darwin sat dazed, watching his back heave with every deep breath he took.
In all honestly though, she wasn't offended, nor was she that worried either. This wasn't the first time Remus had acted in such a strange manner. When he wasn't being his easy going self, which was most of the time, he was prone to being this apologetic, fidgety character who played chaste.
When it first happened, she thought she had done something wrong and had avoided Remus for days. He had found her though, after a few days had passed, and acted like nothing had happened. She made no protest then. By now, it was almost becoming routine.
"Remus. "She began after a few minutes of watching his back, his breathing now back to normal. "I can leave, if you like."
"No!" He spun around. "I mean, no, you don't have to. Please stay." He finished, regaining control over his emotions.
He slowly walked back over to where Darwin was sitting, the top buttons of his collar undone, his hair slightly mussed, his eyes half lidded, looking, in Darwin's opinion, absolutely gorgeous.
He bent down, bringing his face close to hers, an arm on either side or her. Their eyes met and he seemed to be considering her for a moment, searching for something in her eyes. A moment later, he closed his eyes tightly and swallowed again. He then cupped her face in his hand.
"I would never hurt you. You know that, right?" He whispered.
"Yes, of course. I trust you. Remus, what's wrong?" She asked, genuinely worried.
"Nothing." He whispered. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, exhaled a deep breath, and then crushed his lips against hers.
Before she knew what had happened, they were sprawled across Remus's bed, the full weight of his body on top of hers. One of her legs had wound it's way around his hip, and was being held in place at the knee by Remus himself. His other hand groped, and pinched and pulled like it didn't even know what it wanted.
After the momentary shock of having Remus lying in between her legs, in a manner of speaking anyway, had worn off, Darwin found that she was quite excited by the whole ordeal. She had never seen Remus act so aggressively before, and it both shocked and pleased her at the same time. Presently, he was kissing her neck, but she could've sworn she felt him bite the skin a few times as well.
When he began to grind his hips into hers, she knew she would do anything he wanted her to. She heard him say her name, it was more like a plea, and she had never felt so needed or desired. She ran her hands through his hair and then down to the nape of his neck, where she let them rest. She was still to shy and self-conscious to explore any further.
It was at this point that she first noticed the hard lump that was in between them, and at first, could not for the life of her determine what it was. It was a few moments before she was able to connect the textbook definition of the male erection to what she was feeling at that moment.
A very warm, strange feeling flooded through her then, something she had never experienced before. She gathered all her courage and began to slowly slide her hands down Remus's chest, very aware of his lean, muscled chest the whole time. However, when her hands finally reached the top of his trousers, Remus pulled them away so quickly that she was momentarily stunned.
"What's wrong?" She asked breathlessly.
His face was completely unreadable. He was very flushed and breathing hard, his hair was a mess and his eyes were dark.
"What the hell am I doing?" He seemed to ask himself. He covered his face with his hand, paused to think for a moment, then looked at her again.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered. The aggressive, wild character had been replaced by the restricted, fidgety one and Darwin had to admit that she was a little disappointed. "You should go." He told her quietly.
"But-" She began in protest.
"Darwin, please just do this for me. Please?"
There were a thousand things she wanted to say, even more that she wanted to ask, but there was something about the way Remus looked that caused her to hold her tongue. Something about the way she could've sworn there was a tired, weary, jaded older man lurking just beneath Remus's skin, pulling at his eyes and waiting to gray his hair.
"Alright. I'll go." She stopped abruptly. She thought about asking him again if he was okay or telling him she'd she him tomorrow, but she thought better of it as he very obviously just wanted to be left alone. So, she took a moment to collect her thoughts, and then very quietly slipped out of the room. She noticed that Remus had resumed his perch by the window, again enjoying the cool night air.
On her way down the stairs leading the boys' dormitory, she prayed she wouldn't meet anyone. She was sure that she must look a mess, and besides her physical appearance, her mental state at that moment was not quite up to par. As it was rather taboo for a girl to be in the boys' dormitory, and vice versa, she was not quite up to the challenge of explaining herself, which she would inevitably try to do, even if an explanation wasn't demanded.
Now, she was nearing the bottom of the stairs and knew she was almost out of danger, when she suddenly knew she would not be getting out of this one. She sensed him before she saw him, having known him for so long and at first just prayed she was over reacting. But her hopes promptly died when she saw that familiar shaggy head of black hair.
"Darwin?"
"Sirius!"
"What are you doing here?" He asked, rather fiercely.
Darwin tried to dodge past him, but he blocked her exit by placing a hand on the stone archway of the stairs.
She thought she might try dodging under his arm, but then decided this was no time for childish games.
"I really don't see how it's any of your business. "She replied curtly. She thought she saw a look of hurt flicker across his face, but then it was gone. Sirius then proceeded to look her up and down, taking in her disheveled appearance, rasing an eyebrow slightly, looking skeptical.
She squirmed under his gaze, tugging a little at her shirt tails and running a hand through her hair. She could feel her face start to flush and her mind was suddenly occupied by thoughts of Remus's hand on her breast, his teeth on her neck, and that suspicious hardness that had been between them.
"Not my business?" He asked, clearly mocking her.
Darwin hated to admit it, but she and Sirius were not as close as they used to be. Not nearly. It seemed the closer she got to Remus, the further she drifted away from him. He seemed both furious, and at the same time distressed, by her relationship with Remus and she could never understand why. She could no longer talk to him about important, personal things. In fact, she was finding that she could barely talk to him at all. They rarely saw each other, and most times, when they did Darwin was with Remus and Sirius just ignored them. Added to the sense of loss she felt concerning Sirius, she had the added guilt of knowing she had come between Sirius and Remus, who, although it would be difficult to believe now, had once been the best of friends.
But standing there, hearing Sirius question and mock her, Darwin just wanted to punch him square in the nose. It made her furious when anyone, especially a male, for example her father, questioned her about her doings and then tried to tell what to do and what not to do. She craved independence and as far as she was concerned, she always had and always would have control over what she did no matter what anyone said.
Just the fact that Sirius thought he should have any say in who she dated made her furious. She couldn't help it, but she was getting angry.
"Yes, that's right. You heard me, this isn't any of your fucking business." She spat at him. She really didn't mean to be so harsh, but at times, she could have quite the temper problem.
Sirius didn't reply, he only glared at her. In her recollection, Darwin could not remember any other time she had spoken to him in such a way, and she assumed that he was just as surprised as she was.
Darwin returned his glare, as furious as ever. After a few moments, she attempted to walk past him, only to have him grab her arms and pin them to her side. The next thing she knew, her back was to the cold stone wall and Sirius was growling in a low voice.
"Don't you see what's happening? You're not acting like yourself. Darwin, he's not worth this."
"Let go of me!" She growled back. She struggled for a moment, but it was all in vain. He would forever be stronger than her. "How can you say he's not worth it? You don't know anything about it!"
"You wouldn't say that if you knew- "He started, his voice softer.
"Knew what?" She snapped.
"Can't you just trust me?" He asked, and Darwin was sure they had had a conversation just like this before.
"What? Trust you about some secret little piece of information that you won't tell me,
going only on your word? I highly doubt it." She told him, contempt dripping off of every word.
"Darwin, I'm only looking out for you." Even though she knew he was trying to be tough, she could tell he was being sincere. But that didn't matter, by this time she was too angry and frustrated to care.
"You could've fooled me. Sirius, why don't you just piss off and leave me alone? You're not my father."
He released her from his grip, which had been steadily getting tighter, and just looked at her. Now the hurt was plain on his face.
He swallowed once.
"If that's what you want." His voice came out hard and cold as ice.
He looked at her for a moment more, and then turned and walked away. It would be a long time before they reconciled.
Darwin swore under her breath. This was just not her day.
She decided to just go to bed early, but when she arrived at her dorm, she found that Lily and James had had much the same idea as her and Remus, only they seemed to be getting on much better, evidenced by the soft laughing she could hear. Of course she couldn't interrupt, so she just began to walk. She stormed back down the stairs and then through the common room, her arms crossed over her chest, absorbed in her own thoughts.
She didn't pass anyone on her way, and if she did, she didn't notice them. When she walked passed the portrait of Napoleon, he began to greet her, but she only growled "Not now" and continued on her way.
She could feel the tears coming and retreated to one of the girls' toilets where she could cry in private. She placed her hands in the cold porcelain sink and stared at her reflection. Instead of seeing what she normally saw, a reflection that she was quite content with, she only saw a fat ugly cow who had managed to alienate two of the people she cared most about in one evening. She told herself she was more trouble then she was worth, and , in all honestly, wished things would just go back to the way they were before. Simple and easy.
A/N: I know, I know, that was a ridiculously long lag in updating. But, I've just been really busy lately, working one full-time and one part-time job. I'll try to update sooner next time. Tell me what you think! Bye!
The threat that he-who-must-not-be-named and his followers had once posed to the wizarding community had dissipated and presently the wizard world was enveloped in a state of uneasy calm. One day, the violence of Voldemort pressed in on the forces of good from all sides, threatening to crush them, and the next, he seemed to have disappeared. However, only the very foolish would let themselves believe he was gone for good, because the jaded knew better. He would be back. They knew Voldemort was lying in wait, biding his time, waiting for the perfect time to strike, when it was least expected.
And things were no different at Hogwarts. There were no more whispers of dark things in the corridors, no more "accidents" concerning the children of Muggles, and Lucius Malfoy and Severus were rarely seen at all, least of all conversing with other suspicious individuals.
These thoughts, which had once permanently occupied Darwin's mind, were now far away. She had more important, or seemingly anyway, things to deal with. Some time had passed since her first date with Remus and the students of Hogwarts were now so close to the Christmas Holidays they didn't even bother to hide their disinterest in their lessons anymore.
It was a quiet night inside the castle - there had been a heavy snowfall during the day and most of the students were outside enjoying it. However, Remus and Darwin, their relationship having progressed and deepened quite nicely over the past few months, opted to stay inside and enjoy the moment of quiet.
They were in the sixth year boys' dormitory, which was a much more private place then the common room. As it turned out, the sixth year boys only used their dormitory to sleep and so it was a pretty safe bet that they would have all the privacy they wanted.
They were snuggled together on Remus's bed under a pile of thick blankets, experiencing that warm feeling that one only gets when you know it's freezing outside but you're nice and warm inside.
Most of the time, Remus was very easy going and openly affectionate. The whole concept of a personal "bubble" of space was just absurd to him and by this point, he didn't give a damn what Sirius thought, or anyone else, for that matter. But tonight, something was wrong. He was fidgety and he seemed incredibly uncomfortable. He seemed to try and avoid making to much contact with Darwin and his mind seemed miles away. As she looked at him, he had his eyes closed and he appeared to be breaking out in a light sweat.
"You're alright, then?" She asked timidly.
"Yes." He swallowed and she could see his Adam's apple bob up and down. "I'm just feeling a little off."
"Should you maybe go to the Hospital Wing?" She asked. As she did so, she softly caressed his neck with her hand, kissing it once or twice.
This seemed to make him even more uncomfortable. His mouth dropped open and his breathing quickened. He pulled her hand away.
"No, no, I'm fine." He rasped, his eyes still closed.
"You're sure?" She asked quietly, moving her face closer to his. Her hand moved to his chest where she could feel his heart through his clothes, beating a mile a minute.
"Yes."
She kissed him then, he was just too irresistible. At first his response was timid and slow, and then suddenly turned ferocious. His hands, which were surprisingly strong, were everywhere at once, but then suddenly, he stopped. He pulled back to look Darwin in the eye. He wore a pained expression, his eyes glazed over.
"Sorry." He rasped. He then rolled off of the bed, now genuinely sweating, and shuffled over to one of the windows. Once there, he flung it open and let in the cool night air. Darwin sat dazed, watching his back heave with every deep breath he took.
In all honestly though, she wasn't offended, nor was she that worried either. This wasn't the first time Remus had acted in such a strange manner. When he wasn't being his easy going self, which was most of the time, he was prone to being this apologetic, fidgety character who played chaste.
When it first happened, she thought she had done something wrong and had avoided Remus for days. He had found her though, after a few days had passed, and acted like nothing had happened. She made no protest then. By now, it was almost becoming routine.
"Remus. "She began after a few minutes of watching his back, his breathing now back to normal. "I can leave, if you like."
"No!" He spun around. "I mean, no, you don't have to. Please stay." He finished, regaining control over his emotions.
He slowly walked back over to where Darwin was sitting, the top buttons of his collar undone, his hair slightly mussed, his eyes half lidded, looking, in Darwin's opinion, absolutely gorgeous.
He bent down, bringing his face close to hers, an arm on either side or her. Their eyes met and he seemed to be considering her for a moment, searching for something in her eyes. A moment later, he closed his eyes tightly and swallowed again. He then cupped her face in his hand.
"I would never hurt you. You know that, right?" He whispered.
"Yes, of course. I trust you. Remus, what's wrong?" She asked, genuinely worried.
"Nothing." He whispered. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, exhaled a deep breath, and then crushed his lips against hers.
Before she knew what had happened, they were sprawled across Remus's bed, the full weight of his body on top of hers. One of her legs had wound it's way around his hip, and was being held in place at the knee by Remus himself. His other hand groped, and pinched and pulled like it didn't even know what it wanted.
After the momentary shock of having Remus lying in between her legs, in a manner of speaking anyway, had worn off, Darwin found that she was quite excited by the whole ordeal. She had never seen Remus act so aggressively before, and it both shocked and pleased her at the same time. Presently, he was kissing her neck, but she could've sworn she felt him bite the skin a few times as well.
When he began to grind his hips into hers, she knew she would do anything he wanted her to. She heard him say her name, it was more like a plea, and she had never felt so needed or desired. She ran her hands through his hair and then down to the nape of his neck, where she let them rest. She was still to shy and self-conscious to explore any further.
It was at this point that she first noticed the hard lump that was in between them, and at first, could not for the life of her determine what it was. It was a few moments before she was able to connect the textbook definition of the male erection to what she was feeling at that moment.
A very warm, strange feeling flooded through her then, something she had never experienced before. She gathered all her courage and began to slowly slide her hands down Remus's chest, very aware of his lean, muscled chest the whole time. However, when her hands finally reached the top of his trousers, Remus pulled them away so quickly that she was momentarily stunned.
"What's wrong?" She asked breathlessly.
His face was completely unreadable. He was very flushed and breathing hard, his hair was a mess and his eyes were dark.
"What the hell am I doing?" He seemed to ask himself. He covered his face with his hand, paused to think for a moment, then looked at her again.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered. The aggressive, wild character had been replaced by the restricted, fidgety one and Darwin had to admit that she was a little disappointed. "You should go." He told her quietly.
"But-" She began in protest.
"Darwin, please just do this for me. Please?"
There were a thousand things she wanted to say, even more that she wanted to ask, but there was something about the way Remus looked that caused her to hold her tongue. Something about the way she could've sworn there was a tired, weary, jaded older man lurking just beneath Remus's skin, pulling at his eyes and waiting to gray his hair.
"Alright. I'll go." She stopped abruptly. She thought about asking him again if he was okay or telling him she'd she him tomorrow, but she thought better of it as he very obviously just wanted to be left alone. So, she took a moment to collect her thoughts, and then very quietly slipped out of the room. She noticed that Remus had resumed his perch by the window, again enjoying the cool night air.
On her way down the stairs leading the boys' dormitory, she prayed she wouldn't meet anyone. She was sure that she must look a mess, and besides her physical appearance, her mental state at that moment was not quite up to par. As it was rather taboo for a girl to be in the boys' dormitory, and vice versa, she was not quite up to the challenge of explaining herself, which she would inevitably try to do, even if an explanation wasn't demanded.
Now, she was nearing the bottom of the stairs and knew she was almost out of danger, when she suddenly knew she would not be getting out of this one. She sensed him before she saw him, having known him for so long and at first just prayed she was over reacting. But her hopes promptly died when she saw that familiar shaggy head of black hair.
"Darwin?"
"Sirius!"
"What are you doing here?" He asked, rather fiercely.
Darwin tried to dodge past him, but he blocked her exit by placing a hand on the stone archway of the stairs.
She thought she might try dodging under his arm, but then decided this was no time for childish games.
"I really don't see how it's any of your business. "She replied curtly. She thought she saw a look of hurt flicker across his face, but then it was gone. Sirius then proceeded to look her up and down, taking in her disheveled appearance, rasing an eyebrow slightly, looking skeptical.
She squirmed under his gaze, tugging a little at her shirt tails and running a hand through her hair. She could feel her face start to flush and her mind was suddenly occupied by thoughts of Remus's hand on her breast, his teeth on her neck, and that suspicious hardness that had been between them.
"Not my business?" He asked, clearly mocking her.
Darwin hated to admit it, but she and Sirius were not as close as they used to be. Not nearly. It seemed the closer she got to Remus, the further she drifted away from him. He seemed both furious, and at the same time distressed, by her relationship with Remus and she could never understand why. She could no longer talk to him about important, personal things. In fact, she was finding that she could barely talk to him at all. They rarely saw each other, and most times, when they did Darwin was with Remus and Sirius just ignored them. Added to the sense of loss she felt concerning Sirius, she had the added guilt of knowing she had come between Sirius and Remus, who, although it would be difficult to believe now, had once been the best of friends.
But standing there, hearing Sirius question and mock her, Darwin just wanted to punch him square in the nose. It made her furious when anyone, especially a male, for example her father, questioned her about her doings and then tried to tell what to do and what not to do. She craved independence and as far as she was concerned, she always had and always would have control over what she did no matter what anyone said.
Just the fact that Sirius thought he should have any say in who she dated made her furious. She couldn't help it, but she was getting angry.
"Yes, that's right. You heard me, this isn't any of your fucking business." She spat at him. She really didn't mean to be so harsh, but at times, she could have quite the temper problem.
Sirius didn't reply, he only glared at her. In her recollection, Darwin could not remember any other time she had spoken to him in such a way, and she assumed that he was just as surprised as she was.
Darwin returned his glare, as furious as ever. After a few moments, she attempted to walk past him, only to have him grab her arms and pin them to her side. The next thing she knew, her back was to the cold stone wall and Sirius was growling in a low voice.
"Don't you see what's happening? You're not acting like yourself. Darwin, he's not worth this."
"Let go of me!" She growled back. She struggled for a moment, but it was all in vain. He would forever be stronger than her. "How can you say he's not worth it? You don't know anything about it!"
"You wouldn't say that if you knew- "He started, his voice softer.
"Knew what?" She snapped.
"Can't you just trust me?" He asked, and Darwin was sure they had had a conversation just like this before.
"What? Trust you about some secret little piece of information that you won't tell me,
going only on your word? I highly doubt it." She told him, contempt dripping off of every word.
"Darwin, I'm only looking out for you." Even though she knew he was trying to be tough, she could tell he was being sincere. But that didn't matter, by this time she was too angry and frustrated to care.
"You could've fooled me. Sirius, why don't you just piss off and leave me alone? You're not my father."
He released her from his grip, which had been steadily getting tighter, and just looked at her. Now the hurt was plain on his face.
He swallowed once.
"If that's what you want." His voice came out hard and cold as ice.
He looked at her for a moment more, and then turned and walked away. It would be a long time before they reconciled.
Darwin swore under her breath. This was just not her day.
She decided to just go to bed early, but when she arrived at her dorm, she found that Lily and James had had much the same idea as her and Remus, only they seemed to be getting on much better, evidenced by the soft laughing she could hear. Of course she couldn't interrupt, so she just began to walk. She stormed back down the stairs and then through the common room, her arms crossed over her chest, absorbed in her own thoughts.
She didn't pass anyone on her way, and if she did, she didn't notice them. When she walked passed the portrait of Napoleon, he began to greet her, but she only growled "Not now" and continued on her way.
She could feel the tears coming and retreated to one of the girls' toilets where she could cry in private. She placed her hands in the cold porcelain sink and stared at her reflection. Instead of seeing what she normally saw, a reflection that she was quite content with, she only saw a fat ugly cow who had managed to alienate two of the people she cared most about in one evening. She told herself she was more trouble then she was worth, and , in all honestly, wished things would just go back to the way they were before. Simple and easy.
A/N: I know, I know, that was a ridiculously long lag in updating. But, I've just been really busy lately, working one full-time and one part-time job. I'll try to update sooner next time. Tell me what you think! Bye!