Author's notes: More angst. Oh, and what did Robin say during his milk-induced stupor? Well, I may never answer that in writing, but I know exactly what he said in my mind. Go use your imaginations and supply an answer for yourself.

Standard disclaimers apply.

CHAPTER EDITED NOV. 24, 2004: With the insight of Aria-Angel.

GUIDING STAR

Chapter Three – Reaching Out

Robin peeled his eyes open and promptly panicked.

He jumped to his feet, yelled a battle cry and went into defensive stance.

A few seconds later, he realized he knew this place and that he smelled like stale Ben Gay.

He groaned; he was at home.

Vaguely, he remembered riding home in an amphibious car and nothing else thereafter. He figured Cyborg must have carried him in and deposited him, shoes, uniform and all, on his bed.

He winced. He wasn't even able to brush his teeth.

Ugh.

Rubbing the grit from his eyes, he looked at the time: It was five in the morning.

Making calculations in his head, he realized that he must have slept for at least seven hours, considering they left the hospital just a bit past nine. There had to be something in the milk, or else he wouldn't have been able to sleep that long, or got knocked out that easily, anyway.

He took his much needed shower and replaced his bandages. Dressing in a fresh uniform, he felt renewed, and he had to admit that he did need the sleep. He would go see Starfire for the rest of the morning, but he would have to return to the Tower with most of the team. As much as he wanted to spend time with Starfire, especially during this ordeal, even she would scold him if he was negligent of his responsibilities.

Before leaving, he grabbed a quick (and stale) bite from the kitchen and for the nth time since Starfire was confined to the hospital, he missed having her around. She definitely owned the kitchen. She may not always cook edible meals, but it worked for her; everyone else just blew stuff up in it.

Which reminds me, he thought, catching sight of a blackened, unrecognizable mass on the counter. Someone has to go get a new George Foreman grill…

Heaven forbid Cyborg got the bright idea for a Burger Blaster II.

He went to the garage and stopped to look at his brand new 999R-Cycle. It wasn't like his original R-Cycle; it was way better, but why was he so reluctant to use it?

Remembering the day it was delivered, everyone ooh-ed and aah-ed while it was rolled into the garage. Cyborg, especially, looked love sick. He was drooling all over the place, but Robin had been impassive.

The original R-Cycle was something he earned. He worked and kicked bad-guy ass under Batman's workshop and made the cycle his own. It was so valuable to him that he was still reeling from the time Johnny Rancid wrecked it.

That was one tragic episode, he thought with a shake of his head.

The 999R-Cycle wasn't earned; it was given, by Bruce Wayne, no less. It certainly didn't look like something insurance would spring for.

While Richard Grayson was grateful to Bruce Wayne, the biggest reason Robin separated himself from Batman was because Gotham's number one superhero wasn't very good at trusting partners.

He and Bruce didn't really separate as enemies; in fact, he still received invitations to swanky, Gotham-high-society openings, and twice he dropped by (without having RSVP-ed), just to tell Bruce in his private office, "Hey, just passing through. Don't intend to stay long. Just didn't want you to think I was snubbing you or anything." Considering Gotham was six hours away from the Titan Tower by plane, that meant a lot.

It was just that Robin wanted to prove to Batman that he could do things on his own, that he could be depended on too, so most times, Robin resented getting unsolicited help from Bruce Wayne. Besides, one of the few things he and Bruce agreed on was the separation; it was a set-up they had both come to terms with.

But then Bruce sends the suped-up, mercury-finish cycle, with the R-logo funkensteined and the overall design hotter than the devil in Las Vegas. What was the sense in that?

Only once, since it was delivered, has he taken it for a spin, and only because Starfire had begged him—no, employed underhanded tactics—to take her. Ordinarily, Starfire wouldn't have to beg him for anything, but this was different. Not even for Starfire did he want anything to do with the 999R-Cycle. It didn't matter that she smiled and teased and batted her beautiful green eyes at him; he didn't budge and he told her there was nothing she could do that would convince him. But he underestimated her. He was capable of ignoring her: "Could I get you a refreshing beverage, Robin?" and her: "Perhaps you would like me to fluff that pillow, boy of wonder," but he was totally unprepared for, "Robiiiin… perhaps I should turn glemporkand start calling you Robbie poo…"

God, he hated that nickname. He could have sworn something evil had glinted in Starfire's eyes when she made that last ditch effort. It was low, and it got her what she wanted, but as it turned out, it wasn't all that bad. His hormones managed to convince him that having a babe on ones bike with her arms wrapped around him was a good thing. It helped too that they spent a few hours in the Warf eating fish-sticks. But still, that was the last time the 999R-Cycle had been used and nothing could convince him to use the bike again.

He turned to the T-car and cocked a grin. "Sorry, Cy, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

He hopped into the car, found the key in the overhead flap and thrust it through the ignition.

Cyborg was going to kill him.

The thought made him smirk.

When he got to the hospital, it was six o'clock. Starfire was asleep and Raven was floating in the corner, reading a book.

Raven looked up and raised an eyebrow. "It's too early."

"So shoot me."

"Too many possible witnesses. But since you're here, we may as well grab some breakfast. Hospital food sucks."

Robin shook his head. "I already had breakfast. You go on ahead. I'll stay here in case Starfire wakes up."

She shrugged and lowered herself to the floor. "Suit yourself."

She left, promising to be back as soon as she could.

He took a seat and saw the unread issue of MTV Magazine Beast Boy brought over the other day. He picked it up and flipped through the pages. He came upon an article entitled Third Eye Blind: Haven't Seen You In a While…

Gritting his teeth, he skipped that article. He went to the tid-bits section and read, "...there's a rumor that D-O-Double Gizzle is going to launch a campaign against smoking pot. Isn't that like the blind leading the blind?"

Taking a deep breath to control his annoyance, he flipped again but gave up when he saw a promo giving away "Daredevil" DVDs with the words "Justice is blind," splayed at the bottom.

He did, however, momentarily wonder how Matt Murdock was taking it.

Robin tossed the magazine aside.

Starfire stirred. "Raven?"

He went to her. "Raven's out. Had breakfast. You're stuck with me, kid, at least until the next hour."

"Richard! I am glad you are here. It must be very early."

"Six a.m. Did I wake you? Sorry about that."

She grinned, reaching for something on the bedside table. "No, you did not wake me. I have been sleeping and waking in the last few hours. When ones body has had almost four days worth of sleep, one could not blame it for rebelling. Richard, might I request for the water cup…" He gave it to her and she sighed, her breath trembling. Tears threatened to spill before she blinked them back. "I am sorry I have to ask these little things. I am not yet used to… this. I will learn to do things by myself eventually, but in the meantime…"

He frowned. "Don't apologize. Ask anything… I beg of you, and I'll do it. Please let me do it."

She chuckled. "I have heard this tone from you before. It is very familiar. Richard Grayson, your tone is one of guilt. I am confused, because there is no reason for you to feel guilty."

How can she say that when he was the reason she was in this situation? "I know what you did for me out there. You got between me and Cinderblock, and now you're… you should have just let him hit me. You should have just—"

"What? Watched you get killed?" Her smile had disappeared. "I would never stand for such a thing. I had no intention of dying when I did what I did. It would have belittled everything you have done for me, the team and everyone else. I did it because you were in danger and because I care for you. I may have lost my eyesight, but I saved your life. That is all that matters. I would do it again, so don't you dare be blaming yourself for this one, boy of wonder!"

Robin didn't exactly know how to react to that. He could only stare at her, slack-jawed.

The rigid line of her mouth eased and she sighed. "I never would have forgiven myself if something terrible had happened to you."

He relaxed a bit and took her hand. "I would say something in response to that, but you're so scary right now, I think I'll put it off."

She laughed. "I do admit that I am feeling a bit testy…"

Robin sat at the edge of the bed by her side. "In your place, I wouldn't be in a very good mood either."

"Oh, it is not so bad…"

He watched her and his heart wrenched at how sad she looked, try as she might to hide it. They had all grown so used to having her feelings painted so vividly on her face that even the subtle changes in her facial expressions, wrought by her condition, would seem like a great adjustment.

It suddenly occurred to him that Starfire's condition would need adjusting for a world of things, not just for her, but for everyone else. It would be difficult and awkward at first; simple things like movie night could be complicated.

His mouth tightened to a grim line. He didn't know how he was going to help her, but he would. If the doctors couldn't give them a solution, he would find a solution, and in the meantime, while she had to live with this impairment, he would stay by her side.

"Star, you realize that you couldn't scold the guilt out of me so easily. I care for you too, you know, and that makes it harder to let go of the guilt. It's impossible to care for someone and not feel bad about the difficulties they have to go through. I'll try to remember what you told me, about why you did it, and how, if given the chance, you'd do it again. But you know, given the chance, I won't let this happen to you."

Starfire remained silent for a time, perhaps considering what he said. Finally, she smiled. "I know. We will take it a day at a time, then. We have only just begun to deal with this and I have learned over time that even our fearless leader, the boy of wonder, has nothing in his utility belt for such situations as these."

He chuckled. "Yeah, couldn't fit that in a belt." He remembered Batman, and how he carried the perfect solution to the burden of human emotion, which was having no emotion at all. It was something Robin found handy at times, but he couldn't imagine feeling nothing. He liked the touch of emotion; he liked being connected to his friends; to be concerned about them and to understand the things they were trying to say even when they didn't say it.

He liked the bond he had with Starfire and the little rituals they shared because of it; like when he woke up earlier than everyone else, only to realize that Starfire was already in the kitchen making breakfast. They would talk, over coffee, about the most ordinary things, because Starfire liked the "coffee rite", as she called it. Across from each other on the counter, they would sit, almost nose to nose, and call each other by their birth names; Richard and Koriand'r, or Kori as he preferred. Sometimes they laughed about the silliest things, trying to do it quietly, as if their laughter was loud enough to carry to the rooms and wake everyone up. It was silly to think their laughter would disturb anyone. The walls of the tower were thick and metal plated, so hardly any sound could get through, but Robin supposed it was their way of keeping things… intimate.

The term made him color a bit, but it was the only word he could use to describe it. What else could it be called when he felt sick at the mere thought that she could have died? Thrice in the past, they had almost lost her and two of those times, Starfire had tried to leave them of her own volition. The first time Starfire attempted to run away, it was because of her sister's overbearing presence. Fortunately, he had gotten her to stay with a few heartfelt words. The second time—when she thought her appearance would drive them to reject her—presented a bigger challenge; she had jumped Earth to wander the galaxy for a system that would accept her, claws and all. He had to dog Cyborg every five minutes to expedite the conversion of the T-sub into a T-Rocket. And then on top of that, they had to hop from planet to planet just to find her, but he remembered that he didn't care if the search lasted a lifetime. Even then, the only reason he—

They, he thought, correcting himself.

The only reason they found her was because some gigantic pest had tried to eat her while she was in that cocoon. Well, they kicked bug-butt, and she came back. He couldn't believe the relief he felt. Like someone had chopped off his arm and then had a doctor sew it back on.

What if… what if she tried to leave again? What if she thought her blindness would be a liability to them? It would be totally like her.

And what if this time, she went where no one could find her? Where he couldn't find her…

I won't let her leave. I'll give her no reason to leave.

He knew he had the will to make her stay. He had faced Centari Police, and perhaps the wrath of the entire Centari system, when he brought down their space ship just so they couldn't take Starfire away. Compared to that, he should have better faith in his capabilities.

Having made that resolution, he looked straight into her eyes. "Kori, I'll stick by you on this. You don't have to be afraid of being alone. I'll be here. Do you understand that?"

She nodded, oblivious to his gaze. "I know. It is my greatest comfort."

"And I need you to be strong too. You have to believe that I'm absolutely willing to help you through this. Do you promise to have faith in me?"

Starfire tilted her head. He recognized this gesture. Whenever she did that, she was perplexed, or at least curious.

Her other hand came to rest on both of theirs. "Richard Grayson, I have already promised you this in the past, after you left your apprenticeship with Slade, though the promise may have been unspoken. That promise still stands."

Robin smiled at the memory, but he shook his head, even if she didn't see it. "This is different. Kori, promise me this…"

Her eyebrow arched only slightly, but the plaintive smile, accompanied by a nod, was enough for him. "I promise."

"Getting cozy, aren't we?" came a different voice from behind him.

Robin could see Starfire blushing and he could only muse that her cheeks mirrored his own. He looked over his shoulder and saw Beast Boy and Cyborg. Beast Boy was grinning but Cyborg didn't look as pleased.

"You stole my car!"

Robin coughed. "I borrowed it."

"I don't recall giving you permission. I don't understand why you have to go borrow my car, anyway. You have a kick-ass motorcycle to drive around and impress chicks with."

Starfire's grip tightened alarmingly and Robin flinched. "Robin does not drive around on his motored cycle to impress chickens, do you, Robin?"

"N-No?"

There was a crunch, and it might have been his hand.

Incidental to the pain, the answer to Starfire's question became amazingly crystal clear. "No! Never thought of doing such a thing! Motorcycles are for transport, not chicks!"

The grip loosened and the circulation of blood resumed.

Cyborg frowned and was about to say something more when Raven suddenly appeared behind them, offering a take-home breakfast to Starfire.

"Thought maybe I'd bring breakfast here," Raven said.

Robin was quick to ride the change of subject and Beast Boy took the opportunity to roll his eyes, for a change because usually, he caused the eye-rolling.

Robin noted how Raven had been considerate enough to pick a breakfast meal that wouldn't give Starfire much difficulty. It was a sausage sandwich that Starfire could simply unwrap and bite into. Raven even chose an iced-coffee so that Starfire could drink her dose of caffeine with a straw. Cyborg and Beast Boy also came prepared. They brought a Discman with a bunch of their favorite CDs to play on it and of course, both offered commentary on their music choices.

It finally dawned on Robin that he could depend on all of the Titans to show their support in their own way. Raven would probably talk to Starfire when they all got back to the tower, but Beast Boy and Cyborg weren't "talking" guys. Their idea of communication was pressing the X, Y, and Turbo buttons on their game station controllers. Anything more than that and they'd have to show their sensitive sides, which was strange for Beast Boy who always hid behind his jokes and weirder for Cyborg, who didn't do sensitive in the slightest.

Robin watched his titans fawn over Starfire and he smiled plaintively. It was nice to see them all so attentive, but they could only do so much for her. How long before the reality began to weigh heavily?

Shaking his head, he decided he would put off his dismal thoughts for the meantime.

They spent the rest of the morning with Starfire, and just past noon, Robin told her that he had to go back to the tower with the other titans.

Just as he expected, she reproachfully told him that it was about time he got around to it; that they have been keeping her company long enough.

He would have stayed, but he had responsibilities, and he couldn't very well compel any of the others to sit around and keep Starfire company. But in an uncharacteristic display of sensitivity, Cyborg volunteered to stay with her.

"Just don't forget that you could call me when some badass decides to rule the world while I'm keeping Shorty company," he said, flashing a grin.

Robin stared at him a moment before replying. "Sure, Cy." He had no problem with whatever reason Cyborg had, choosing to get left behind, but Robin wondered if he had to tell Cyborg to leave the hospital equipment alone.

They said goodbye with Robin promising he'd come by that evening to take Cyborg's place, crime-rate permitting. As he walked out of the room with Raven and Beast Boy, he heard Starfire asking, "Cyborg, I have been meaning to ask you… why is it that you call me 'Shorty'? Am I not tall enough?"

Robin laughed softly as their voices faded behind him.

"Dude, yo' driving me crazy! Stop calling!" And the line went dead with a pert crackle.

Robin made a face at the T-Comm in his hand. Sheez Cy… I just want to know how she's doing…

Sighing, he set the T-Comm aside and looked back at the wide-screen. The profiles of the six scientists killed during Cinderblock's attack stared back at him with their ID pictures. The oblivion behind their smiles was unnerving. They had no idea that working in a toy research facility could be fatal. He felt sorry for their families and he hoped he could help shed some sense into their deaths, however senseless death could be to begin with.

A gecko dropped on the mainframe and Robin jerked back in surprise. The gecko giggled and Robin frowned in response. "Jeez, Beast Boy… don't you have anything better to do?"

Beast Boy became himself again and grinned, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Oh, you mean like calling up Cyborg every ten minutes in the last three hours to check on Starfire?"

Robin reddened. "Hey, I feel bad about leaving her back there…"

Beast Boy shrugged. "So do we, but we gotta look out for the bad guys. Even Starfire said so."

"Yeah."

"So any luck with those scientists?"

Robin shook his head, leaning back on his chair. "No. I've checked a hundred references and I couldn't really find a link that jumps at me. I mean, yeah sure, one of 'em is godfather to somebody's kid, or a couple of them went on a fishing trip last year, then they were all invited to the wedding two years ago by some chick in another department… but even after I followed those leads, there's absolutely nothing that gives a clue to Cinderblock's attack. It's looking like they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And Dr. Greenwald... poor Dr. Greenwald. Nothing left of him but a finger…"

"At least his family saved a ton on funeral expenses."

Robin gave him a look and Beast Boy winced. "Sorry. Bad joke."

"No kidding."

Beast Boy fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment. "Hey listen… I actually came here to talk to you about Star."

Robin arched an eyebrow.

"It's going to be—pretty different when she comes back to the tower. I have no idea how to deal with these things, and who knows, they might still be able to fix her, right? But if she needs my help, go tell her she could come to me, k?"

The titans were just full of surprises today. "I'll be glad to tell her for you, Beast Boy, but you know, she'll be too polite to ask help from you unless you talk to her yourself."

Beast Boy nodded.

The T-Comm hailed and Robin stared at it in surprise, then worry. Cyborg wouldn't call him unless there was something wrong. He picked up the radio and saw Cyborg's solemn expression.

"The verdict's out," he said gravely. "The specialist came by about an hour ago and they got Starfire to perform some tests… guys, she's never going to see out of her eyes again."

Beast Boy's head dropped, a deep sigh punctuating it.

Robin couldn't even explain how bad he felt. "How's Starfire taking it?"

"Very, very quietly."

"Stay with her, Cy. We'll be there in half an hour."

They signed off.

Robin and Beast Boy told Raven the situation and so soon after they left the hospital, they went back. Starfire didn't show much emotion, just a strange, cold acceptance of her plight.

The specialist said that her blindness was caused by extensive damage to her retina and macula. The retina and macula both housed photoreceptor cells that captured and process light, thereby causing vision, except that the macula's primary function was to provide central vision, or more simply, focus. Central Vision was still possible when retinal degeneration occurred; in the same vein, sight without central vision could occur when it was just the macula, but for both to fail…

"There are treatments for retinal and macular degeneration, of course," said the doctor. "But this isn't degeneration. Her retina and macula are completely damaged, like they were burned away. Any research involving the replacement of dead retinal and macular tissue is still on the drawing board, so right now, there is nothing we could do. I'm sorry…"

Burned away, thought Robin dismally. How could that have happened? It couldn't have been caused by her powers… or could it?

From what Robin knew, her people have been shooting lasers out of their eyes for centuries, and she didn't say they went blind because of it. Why did it happen to her, then?

As the day wore on, Robin eventually told the titans to go home, and that it was his turn to keep Starfire company. When they left, Starfire called for him, and as soon as he sat himself on the edge of her bed beside her, she fell into his arms and wept. There was nothing he could do but let her cry.

She said very little, and long after she started, her sobbing dwindled to hiccups.

He told her softly that she should lie back down and try to relax and she did so without protest.

She must be exhausted, he thought, pulling the covers over her. He had watched her the entire day. She had put up a brave front for the others; acting as normal as she could under the circumstances, but having held her as she cried, he realized the monumental effort she had made to save everyone from her secret misery.

He pressed a tissue into her hand so she could wipe her eyes.

"And do you know the worse part, Robin?"

He remained silent, wishing for her sake that she would fall asleep soon. He pushed some loose hair from her face, his heart wrenching with sympathy.

"I've lost the power in my eyes," she whispered, her eyes fluttering close. "I—I couldn't get them to work anymore…"

Robin said nothing. He pulled up a chair and sat by her bed, holding her hand as he watched her fall asleep.

Closing notes: It may seem that I have done absolutely nothing in these last two chapters, but actually, I had hoped to provide some subtle insight into the situation at hand. When somebody we really care about goes blind, it's not like we go, "Oh. Well, bad luck then. Where do we eat?" The truth is we would take some time to absorb this fact. Also, many of the seemingly useless things I put in these last two chapters will be very significant to the events that will occur in the future chapters. Hope you trust me on this one. These chapters may be slow, but I promise more action from hereon (but really, not all that much… I did classify this story as a Drama and Romance.)