Standard disclaimers apply.
"Guiding Star" is RED52 approved. ::wink:: Thanks Red!
CHAPTER EDITED NOV. 24, 2004: With the insight of Aria-Angel.
GUIDING STAR
Chapter Seven – The Sun Always Rises
It was five o' clock in the morning when Robin woke up. Remembering the events from the previous day, he was a little hard put to rise and face the new one, but he was never a coward, so he got out of bed, got dressed and sat his ass down in front of his work desk.
Maybe he wasn't a coward, but he didn't think he could stand a dose of Starfire's cold-shoulder so early in the morning. He had feelings too.
Organizing his thoughts, he realized he had completely forgotten to call up Bruce Wayne to tell him about Starfire's consent. He took a moment to be amazed at how this was the second time in one week he would be calling Bruce. It was, so far, the most consistent communication they've had in years.
Entering the codes, he extracted the communicator from its computer activated compartment and called up Batman.
He was startled when a woman's voice came through the speaker. For a second, he stammered, but he was able to croak out a lame hello. He wasn't sure if he should ask for Batman or Bruce Wayne. What if asking for either revealed Batman's identity to this person? Who was this woman, anyway?
The woman hardly acknowledged his greeting. "Hang on a second, will you?"
Robin waited with furrowed brows. A few seconds later, he heard the woman in the background calling Bruce, telling him that Dick was on the line. This surprised him even more.
Bruce's voice was soon speaking through the communicator. "Early, aren't you?"
"Who was that?" was his immediate question.
"Diana. What's this about? I'm busy right now, so hurry it up."
Diana? Who the hell was Diana? But prompted by Bruce's rushed tone, Robin had little choice but to comply. "I talked to Kori. She's willing to go through with it."
"Excellent. Stay alert. I'll send word to you sometime soon with my instructions. I have to go. And for God's sake, next time, call a little later in the morning."
The line went dead.
Robin cursed. So much for consistency. The old bat didn't even have the decency to ask how I was doing. Now he really felt he was being rejected by his people.
In his irritation, he tossed the communicator in the trash bin. Two minutes later, he fished it out, swearing about his lineage, real and foster, as he put it back in its compartment.
Determined to get something worthwhile done that day, he readied the surveillance tapes and began watching them. There was no point in moping and doing nothing. He had already done enough of that the night before. This time, he would mope and do something.
Robin was only partially surprised when Cyborg contacted him on the T-Comm just a bit after lunch to see if he was alive. Still sore from Starfire's rejection and Bruce's shabby treatment of him, he wasn't very friendly to Cyborg.
Wishing vehemently that they'd leave him alone, he turned his attention back to the wide screen. After a while, he made a quick trip to the kitchen, grabbed a couple of nutri-bars with accompanying potato chips and hastened to go back to his room. He saw only Beast Boy who gave him a disapproving glare over his shoulder. Robin ignored him.
By the time he came down to the last recording, it was nearing half past five. He had skipped breakfast and lunch, and he was feeling a bit dizzy in spite of the nutri-bars and chips, but he didn't care. Anything was a welcome distraction to his personal relationships right now.
The first few tapes showed him very little; mostly scientists working to ensure that everything about the entire system functioned seamlessly through out the day. The four scientists in charge of the containment facility often chatted and exchanged jokes only they found funny. Towards the latter part of the day, they received several visitors; some prison personnel, others clearly outsiders. On several occasions, the scientists would step out, one at a time, to leave the facility with someone, but they always came back a short time later. One of them stepped out more often than the others, but this was because he smoked and there was no smoking inside the facility. That same scientist always pulled out a pack of gum, after which he would stick the chewed gum underneath his keyboard panel that doubled as a desk. Robin found himself getting neurotic about it, disgusted at the mere thought of the gum build-up.
All four scientists in the facility were male, and Robin noticed that women visitors were given special attention. And when the woman left, her body parts and what they could do with it would then be talked about in vulgar detail.
Nothing unusual there, he thought sardonically.
Robin was just getting to the part about Plasmus' rude awakening when there was a knock at his door. He froze the footage and called for his guest to come in. It was Raven.
She looked at the screen and then at him. "A likely excuse."
Robin wasn't too happy about that. "Hey, if she doesn't want to talk to me, then I have other things to do." He simmered a moment before he looked up. "Er… why, did she—um, ask about me?"
Raven stared at him, as if to consider her words. "She's at the rooftop. She feels bad that she was mean to you last night."
Robin's edge promptly dulled. "Really?"
Raven hesitated. "No, not really. She didn't actually say so… she didn't want to talk about it either, but hey…"
He sighed. "Great. Thanks for nothing, Raven."
"Oh, just go talk to her. Don't be such a wimp." She left after that.
Robin supposed Raven was never one for much ceremony. Ultimately, he followed her advice. It wasn't as if he could stand not being friends with Starfire.
He took the elevator to the top floor and climbed the stairs to the rooftop. Emerging from the indoor staircase, he shielded his eyes from the warm rays of the setting sun.
At first he could make nothing out except for the various fixtures and the T-Chopper, but towards the western horizon, he saw Starfire seated on the concrete floor, knees drawn to her chest. Laid out on the floor beside her was her walking cane, Pikachu bobbing against the slight wind. She was facing the open bay and he wondered how long she had been sitting there.
He approached her cautiously, his boot sound against the gravel of the ground. Starfire's back stiffened. "Er—Starfire?"
"Raven said she'd be back. We were going to fly together."
Robin felt his heart sink. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll go get her."
"Richard, do you wish to talk to me or not?"
He frowned. "You're the one who—"
"I am the one who what?" She had stood and turned slightly, and while she wasn't completely facing him, he could see that she had her arms crossed over her chest.
He ran his hands through his hair irritably. He certainly wasn't in control of the situation. He wasn't used to that, but it seemed he tended to be ass-whipped when it came to Starfire. Cyborg was right, he was Star-Struck. He massaged the back of his neck with a hand. "I didn't mean to lie about buying the CDRWs. I did go to the city for that, but then Beast Boy and Cyborg—I didn't think it was a big lie."
She sighed, her shoulders drooping. She sat back down again, pulling her knees up and resting her chin on them. "Robin, I just kept thinking how, that time, you said I didn't have to accompany you into the city. I didn't tell you then, but I was hurt when I found out that Cyborg and Beast Boy had gone with you, and then I realized last night in the car that you didn't want me going with you because you were actually going to 'cruise for chickens.'"
"I wasn't cruising for—look, the only reason Cyborg and Beast Boy went with me was because they thought maybe they would find something they'd like to buy. You know…"
She frowned. "It is very difficult for me to accept such things as male bonding and female bonding. In Tamaran, there are no gender specifics for friendships, but I am willing to make adjustments for the customs of Earth. While I like Raven's company, I cannot—" she paused, as if to grope for words "—always bond with her. We… cannot 'bond' the way you and the boys bond, so what am I expected to do? You are my best friend, and I had hoped you could get over the barriers of gender to bond with me the way you bond with the boys. And then I—I find out that you were willing to bond with those glemp—strange girls. It made me feel… weird, and I didn't like it
Her words struck him, and he felt a flush rise in his cheeks. It was odd, but something did flips in his stomach. Did she—did she almost call the girls "glemporks"?
The last time she had used "glemporks" in relation to girls was when he had to take Kitty to her prom, and that was quite a while ago. Most of her anger had been directed at Kitty and Fang, anyway, so he hadn't felt the need to make a big deal about it. Besides, it was a crime-case, and they had always been fiercely protective about one another when it came to these super-villains; whether it had to do with spoiled prom queens, badly dressed madmen or implanted nano-probes.
But this was different. This didn't have anything to do with crime-fighting whatsoever, and the possibility of it made him feel… giddy; pleased. He stared at her, trying to make sense of it. Was it possible to be the best of friends and feel jealousy?
Her brows furrowed. "Why did you welcome their company and reject mine? Why was it alright to be in the city with them and not me? Why did you have to lie about them?"
He was confused, and he wasn't sure what to make of it all yet, but he wanted to make-up with her at least, if he couldn't make complete sense of the entire thing. He didn't like Starfire giving him the cold shoulder.
I get too distracted. Not good when I'm trying to concentrate on a case.
Robin sat beside her, cautiously reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. He was encouraged when she didn't shy away. "I didn't reject your company. I simply—I was really just going to go out for a while, buy some stuff and go back home. I told you that you didn't have to accompany me because—well, you really didn't have to. I thought maybe you were just being polite, and I knew you had better things to do, so I told you I'd be fine on my own. I didn't even ask Cyborg and Beast Boy to come with me; they just went, and before I knew it there were these girls. Believe me, Kori, I hardly paid any attention to them. I was too distracted; I was focused on Slade. And there was even a brief moment when I wished you were there, because if you were, Beast Boy and Cyborg wouldn't have thought about talking with those girls, and I'd be back in the tower doing my work…" He sighed. "I lied to you about being able to buy those CDRWs because—because I didn't want you to think that I made up that excuse to go to the city to meet some girls. I didn't want you to think that I made you stay home so Cy, BB and I could have a boy's night out. And that's the whole truth."
Or was it?
He frowned in disapproval of his own thoughts. Of course it was the whole truth. He didn't have to go into the phone numbers thing. He never asked for those numbers and he didn't even bother to keep them. It was totally a non-issue.
After having convinced himself about its non-issue-ness, he told her about it anyway. She didn't seem very pleased, but at least she didn't look angry.
Ass-whipped, said that taunting voice in his head that sounded strangely like Bruce Wayne.
When they finally fell silent, Robin was glad to realize that the quiet was comfortable. He shifted, drawing his knees up and leaning his elbows on them. They sat that way for a while, side by side on the T-Tower rooftop. He was feeling better about the entire thing, but the back-issues of what brought all this misunderstanding on continued to rap at his consciousness.
Every once in a while, he would throw furtive glances in her direction, but her blank expression remained in spite of the easy companionship they were falling back into.
He was surprised when her hand fell gently upon his arm.
"I do not wish to keep you from having nights out with the boys," she said in a soft, appeasing tone. "I do not mind being excluded from such outings, especially if—especially if you wish to meet other girls, but you do not have to lie—for anything. Sometimes you will have to say to me, 'It is just us boys this time, Starfire,' because as you know, I am not yet quite attuned to the subtleties of your interactions. I will respect this ritual of genders and you do not have to be afraid that I will be angry about it. But does this mean I am only your… female best friend?"
It was a surprising question. "No, Star. It's not like that. When I say you're my best friend, you're my best friend, regardless of gender."
She smiled wanly.
He paused, processing the rest of the things she said. "When you say I could go on a boys' night out 'especially if I wish to meet other girls'…" His thoughts petered and he had to start anew with a shake of his head. "You mean you're okay with that?"
Starfire seemed to take a moment to consider this. "Well, Robin, I—" She reddened visibly. "Do I have reason to be concerned?"
An awkward silence, similar to the one that befell them when they were discussing Tamaranian marrying-age, ensued.
There was an emotion inside him itching to break the surface, but he couldn't exactly tell what it was at the moment. He was a bit flustered.
After a moment's consideration, he was astonished to realize that he was actually feeling—well, he was feeling rather pissed. Why was she okay with that? Didn't it bother her that there were lots of pretty girls in the city? What was wrong with her? What's up with that? Didn't she care at all?
He frowned. "Apparently not."
If she noted the displeasure in his tone, she showed no hint of it. She did, however, change the subject. "Raven agreed to show me meditation techniques that would help me enhance the use of my other senses. It will be useful, yes? Especially when you get around to teaching me how to fight."
He sighed, letting his irritation ebb and punctuating it with a smile. "Yeah, I'd encourage something like that. We'll work on your training in another week or so. I just want you to get stronger. You just got out of the hospital."
She nodded, falling back into silence. A minute or two later, she spoke. "Robin, is the sun setting yet?"
The sun had taken on a deep orange hue against the pink, purple and red sky and it was low on the horizon. "Yeah, it's setting."
"Would you—would you describe it to me?"
Robin stared at her. The realization that she might never be able to see the sun setting again saddened him. He wasn't a poet; in fact, he didn't have the slightest inclination of having a way with words. His nature was straightforward and scientific. When he was asked a yes or no question, he answered with "yeah" and "naa." He felt, by Starfire's request, largely inadequate.
"It's orange." He winced at his own words.
She giggled softly, perhaps realizing that he wasn't very good at this. But instead of letting it be, she prodded on. "What kind of orange is it?"
Robin chuckled. His response was quick due to too many "I Spy with My Little Eye" sessions on the road with the traveling Haly Circus. "Like your hair."
She grinned, obviously approving of this. "And what does my hair remind you of? Other than me, of course!"
That cut him short. He had to be creative now. "The Autumn leaves. I saw a lot of those in Gotham."
"Mmm, Autumn leaves… and the sky?"
"Oh, pink… red; and purple."
"Like mixed cotton candy?"
"Something like that; and it reflects off the surface of the bay, so it's like the whole world's kinda pink and red and purple."
Her grin mellowed to a plaintive smile. "It is beautiful, yes?"
He leaned back on the heels of his palms, his gaze shifting to her face. "It's pretty damn breathtaking…"
She sighed. "I do so love Earth sunsets."
She sat there, with her unseeing eyes aspiring for the view she longed for.
Beside her, his gaze resting on her profile, his seeing eyes only now began opening to a different horizon.
His small smile came unbidden, his thoughts swimming languidly before settling on a single thought: You like this view. And perhaps that meant he agreed, didn't he? So he said, "Yeah, me too," as the day came to a glorious close.
Robin was surprised that the weekend went by so fast without the benefit of crime-fighting. While he remained somewhat pre-occupied by the prison reports and tapes, he usually made it a point to be less obsessive during the weekend. Besides, there was nothing to signify that there had been anything deliberate about the Plasmus-incident. It seemed it had been, as many have already concluded, a tragic accident.
So after having decided that he would set his work aside for the meantime, he tended to his usual weekend activities, which was a short session on the Game Station and the somewhat relaxing chore of watering the surrounding vegetation at the foot of the tower.
He was, however, mildly astonished to discover that these diversions didn't take up more than a few hours of the weekend, cumulatively. He made mental computations, adding his work, recreational and sleep hours, only to discover that he spent no more than eight collective waking hours on work, Game Station and Gardening. The fact of the matter was the rest of his hours awake had been spent with Starfire.
Robin remembered spending some more time with her on the rooftop talking about random things; like the type of music she really liked, or what kind of things she enjoyed doing aside from watching movies with them and going to the mall of shopping. These were things they never talked about, because as crime-fighting teenagers, sitting down and actually talking about such things seemed incredibly inane amidst kicking supper-villain butt, but now it felt completely normal, and strangely relaxing. And then Robin—for some reason—volunteered to help Starfire answer her fan mail, something she did with neurotic regularity, and with uncanny thoroughness. To go easy on him, Starfire said that they would only be answering her more regular fans; meaning those who wrote her constantly, either by email or snail-mail; which had to be about one hundred and fifty fans, give or take. Starfire remembered the trials, tribulations and well-wishes of every one of them and she dictated her replies to Robin with near-supernatural ease. Robin was basically too amazed to feel the fatigue of being her secretary for hours on end. They didn't finish it all in one sitting, but Robin suspected it was because he typed too slowly.
Time spent in the Info and Rec Room was time spent with the rest of the titans. Even Raven did some of her reading there, but only until she could stand the noise. When she eventually got fed up, she closed her book and meditated, mostly to block all of them out. The rest of them brought out the cards and played for cookies and chocolates. So that Starfire could participate, Robin sat behind her to help her play her hand. Since the stakes were high, they would play for hours. If Starfire hadn't reminded them that it might be time for "Punk'd", they'd have never given up their Famous Amoses' and Recess Pieces.
While Starfire couldn't see what was going on in the show, most of the important parts were wrought with dialogue and commentary. The visual pranks were related to her by Beast Boy, who took on his role with surprising competence.
The weekend was thus spent, and Robin went to sleep remembering the lilac and sweet berry scent of Starfire's shampoo whenever he leaned over to look at her cards.
When the working days hit, Starfire started going to school. They all took turns driving her into the city and picking her up, but Robin was always eager to fill in. The teachers were, of course, amazed at how quickly Starfire was getting on in the lessons. In fact, she was adapting to the system with uncanny brilliance, which left many of her instructors mystified.
Robin could only assume that it was Starfire's alien powers that made her so adept at learning Braille. Starfire, as a Tamaranian, learned a language by touching a fluent speaker of it; it was how she learned English, after all.
Braille wasn't a different language, it was a different system of reading the same language, and while her powers couldn't exactly process Braille the way it processed oral speech, there were, perhaps, aspects of it that made learning Braille much easier for her than the average human.
Another week went by, and her Braille skills improved even more dramatically, but it wasn't without effort from Starfire. Between going to school, getting along in her house chores and meditating with Raven, Starfire's focus on her studies would have been every professor's dream. She was so determined to learn quickly that Cyborg got pulled into taking an interest. He acquired and suped-up the latest Braille hardware and software available so that Starfire could surf the internet, answer her mails and convert non-Braille texts to Braille via a special scanner and printer. Starfire eagerly undertook learning how to use her new toys and it occupied her (and Cyborg) for another week.
Beast Boy continued to provide her commentary whenever he invited her to join him in front of the television, which was about as often as Starfire's schedule permitted. Robin realized that Beast Boy really had a talent for what he did, and the TV viewing he spent with Starfire actually made him seem—responsible. She liked being asked to watch TV, and Beast Boy took his contribution seriously, though he did it with a smile. Nobody said anything out loud, though. No one wanted to jinx Beast Boy's growing up.
Robin, in the meantime, used those three weeks to carefully formulate a training program for Starfire. Having done research on martial arts training for the visually impaired, he was able to create a program that might actually work.
It was around that time Robin began to wonder why Bruce hadn't called. As was Robin's wont, he got obsessive about it. He wanted to know what was taking so long, but he wasn't too keen about calling Bruce up again. His obsessing eventually caught Raven's attention and she confronted him in the kitchen.
"Robin, you are splashing around in my sea of calm," she said in a level tone, her narrowing gaze the only indication that she was annoyed at all. "You're like an excited otter thrashing and wallowing in its own shit. Whatever it is, get over it!"
She didn't even wait for him to protest. She just turned and left to go back to her room. Overhearing their exchange, Starfire asked him what was wrong.
In the past, he would have said there was nothing wrong, that she didn't have to worry, but they had grown past so many emotional walls in the last month that Robin found himself blurting out the truth before he could stop himself. "Bruce hasn't called."
That was really all he said, but he could depend on Starfire to understand everything without need of so many words.
She didn't fail him. "I am certain that Bruce has not forgotten and that he has a very good reason for not calling. You must be patient, Richard. Bruce Wayne, I'd imagine, is a very busy man. Aside from his fortune, he has the city of Gotham to attend to, yes? Wait a while. He will call soon."
Robin wished he was as good natured when it came to Bruce Wayne. Nevertheless, he took her advice and deferred from lighting any Bat Signals just yet. Suffice it to say, if Robin had a Bat Signal, it would be of a robin asking "Where are ya, ya old flying rodent?"
Such concerns aside, Robin had to admit that they seemed to have encountered very little problems concerning their adjustment to Starfire's condition. He didn't know if it was because the titans had managed to grow up a bit while he wasn't looking or whether it was because Starfire actually got them through it herself. He was, however, willing to give credit to everyone for the relatively smooth transition.
When Starfire came to him one evening requesting for the reports to the Cinderblock and Plasmus cases, he realized that Starfire was ready for more challenges.
He offered to help her scan the reports through her converters so she could start reading them sooner. She welcomed his help happily.
"Cyborg put together a most efficient system for me," she said, taking the seat by her desk.
Excitedly, she sat in front of her special keyboard, typing in the commands necessary to process the documents Robin had slipped into the cartridge. The small ticker-type sound ensuing from the Braille board that supplemented the monitor was strangely pleasing and he was momentarily fascinated by how she ran her fingers over them.
His attention wandered again and he saw the pile of fan mail in the corner. While her email was still bursting by its electronic seams, the amount of her snail-mail had doubled in the last four weeks. It seemed that people felt email couldn't properly communicate their love and affection for her, so they sent her greeting cards and handwritten letters instead, telling her how much she was an inspiration to them; that she would always be their hero; that she was an even hotter babe than before (from the fanboys, of course.)
To Robin's mind, they were all absolutely right.
"So Starfire… how is your meditation with Raven coming along? I'd ask her but she's been 'specially grumpy these last few weeks."
She smiled at this, chuckling softly. "You must forgive Raven for being that way. She is—going through a very difficult time now. As for my proprioception…"
Robin noted the quick change of subject but decided to respect her wish to keep Raven's secrets—well, secret. He instead focused on her latter statement, the one having to do with "Proprioception". He knew the term. It was a word most commonly used to supplement "Sixth Sense", mainly because it sounded less kooky to those who were inclined to be cynical about the paranormal. But to Robin, proprioception was less about a third eye and more about increasing one's awareness in relation to physical movement. In other words: Sense and act accordingly; quickly.
One's proprioception could be developed to a degree that the reaction time between sensing and acting was near clairvoyant, hence its association with the Sixth Sense.
"…I believe it has been enhanced," continued Starfire. "Raven had to make a special type of meditative program for me, since I wanted to enhance my physical senses to become an effective combatant. Her focus has always been towards spiritual enhancement, and she was perhaps as surprised as I that my meditation showed results. I know she is glad about it; just that she hates to show it."
"That's for sure. So, you think you're ready to go into training tomorrow?"
She gasped, a broad smile spreading on her face. "Yes! Most definitely! Ready as anything! Oh, I have been waiting for weeks for you to say something! But I didn't want to be what Cyborg calls 'a pest'!"
He cocked a smile. "Six o' clock in the morning tomorrow, I'll meet you in the training room. Is that okay?"
"Hai, sensei!"
He laughed. "Where the heck did you pick that up from?"
"Beast Boy and I were watching Karate Kid the other night…"
"Right, should've known." He chuckled. "But you don't have to call me that. In fact, just don't call me that."
"As you wish, Richard-san."
He rolled his eyes but was amused in spite of himself. He dreaded the things Starfire might pick up when Beast Boy began showing her the other old school cult classics, like The Breakfast Club and Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Or worse: Revenge of the Nerds and its sequel: Nerds in Paradise. But Robin had to admit that he could depend on Beast Boy to differentiate truth from exaggeration (or, when it was a girls' locker room scene, real from surgically enhanced); it was, after all, the best thing about Beast Boy's commentary.
Robin found ease in Starfire's untroubled smile.
He watched her with ever increasing fondness. He admired her for having the courage and grace to cope with an accident so many would find devastating. It was only now, four weeks after the incident that he began to understand why it would be demeaning to her if he felt guilty for what had happened. He had no right to take responsibility for the loss of her eyesight because it had become a mark of her bravery; her strength; as someone who put others before herself at all times, in any given situation. It was an impairment, that fact couldn't be denied, but Starfire had made that the least of what defined it.
For the first time since he found out that she had lost the use of her eyes, he felt a sense of certainty; that no matter what happened; whether Starfire got her eyesight back or not, they would be absolutely fine.
A small smile played on his lips as he looked at her. Yep, we're going to be okay.
To be continued…