Chapter 13
Wasn't I enough? (Hermione's First Dream)
Hermione ignored Lily's pleas to tell her what was wrong, why she'd come back so soon, and in tears. Hermione closed the curtains around her bed and stared at the picture of herself and Ron. This was not fair to him.
Sirius must think I am mad,Hermione thought. What else would explain why she ran out on a perfect dinner?
Hermione's tears slid slowly. In her mind she was picturing Sirius' death over and over again.
She realized she was not crying for Ron, she was crying for Sirius. It was too much.
Hermione lay down.
She fell asleep immediately and began to dream.
Hermione was walking into Hogwarts. It was Hogwarts in her time. The ugly robes were gone and in their place, fashionable clothes. Lily was gone, James was gone, Sirius was gone. All the familiar faces appeared: Harry, Neville, Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Parvati...even Malfoy. It was breakfast time. Harry and Ginny were reading the Daily Prophet together. Hermione sat down next to them and poured herself some juice. "All right, Harry?" Hermione asked breezily, taking in the scene. She heard snatches of current events.
Harry and Ginny took no notice of her. "Harry? Ginny?" Hermione asked, more loudly. They continued to pore over the newspaper. Hermione waved to them. "Can you hear me?" she asked. No answer. Ginny turned the page of the newspaper and grinned at Harry.
They can't see me or hear me, Hermione realized.
"Harry, where's Hermione?" Ginny asked, a look of concern on her face.
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. She disappeared a while back. Just as well. I have you now." Ginny giggled and snuggled against Harry.
Hermione opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Suddenly she was transported to Potions class.
"What are the properties of asphodel?" Snape was asking.
Hermione raised her hand immediately. She knew the answer. She was the only one who raised her hand.
"No one?" Snape said. "My, my."
"Professor, I know the answer," Hermione said.
"I can see we'll have to study this a bit longer," Snape said, disapproval in his voice.
Hermione stood up. No one could see or hear her. She left the dungeon. Hermione walked through Hogwarts, past the voices and faces of her time.
"Hermione." She turned. It was Ron.
"Ron?" Hermione said. "You–you can see me?"
"Of course I can," Ron said, coming up to her. "I always notice you."
"Why can't the others see me?" Hermione asked.
"You're not really here, love." Ron said. "You're in his time."
"Whose?" Hermione asked.
Ron cocked his head. He knew she knew the answer. "Sirius."
"You know about him, then."
"Yes." Ron's voice quavered. "Why, Hermione? Why do you have to go out with him? Wasn't I enough?"
Hermione tried to answer, but Ron ploughed on. "Wasn't I enough? Wasn't I enough?" He repeated the phrase over and over until all that Hermione knew was his voice.
She screamed, and drowned his voice out. "Nooo!"
"Hermione, wake up. Wake up." Lily's voice, over and over, finally woke Hermione up. "Lily....oh, Lily, it's you." Hermione awoke with sweat all over her body.
"What were you dreaming about?" Lily asked. "Want to talk about it?" She looked very concerned.
"I. . .don't want to talk about it," Hermione said quickly. She knew Lily was her friend, but that Lily had known Sirius longer and was therefore more loyal to him.
Lily seemed to understand. "All right," she said softly. "I'll be at breakfast if you need me." She got dressed and left. Hermione didn't notice as Lily picked something off the floor before she went.
Hermione felt awful. Her head pounded. She was still wearing the dress from the disatrous night before. It was wrinkled and had a grass stain from when she'd fallen. She was sore. Still, she sat up. She pulled her diary from its place in her trunk and wrote a letter to Ron.
Dear Ron, I've fallen into another time. I have to complete some sort of mission, and I only have year to do it. I know, you believe I can do anything. But this is so hard because I don't have the slightest idea of what to do.
Ron, I have to tell you something I know you won't like. Ron, I've met someone. Sirius. I know he's Harry's godfather but. . .
Hermione wrote page after page to Ron, describing her friendship with Lily, and her feelings for Sirius. It was very hard for her to write about them. She knew Ron wouldn't understand or like her feelings.
(A/N: Poor Mione, Eh? Don't worry.)