December loomed forward and with it, exams. In Remus Hermione found a kindred spirit. He understood, more than anyone, how important exams were. They sat together one night and drew up a strict exam schedule. Sirius and James had tried to help them, but Hermione didn't understand why they shuddered at the thought of studying for exams at five in the morning. Remus saw this as perfectly normal and mollified Hermione by telling her so.
"I've got my Wizard Literature Club meeting on the fifth–so I can arrange it so I'll study Arithmancy at six A.M. and that way squeeze in Astronomy right after the meeting," Remus said thoughfully, writing in the plan under December 5th.
"But, Remus," Hermione told him, "if you get up at five to do Arithmancy you'll get a lot more done."
Remus nodded thoughtfully. "And of course I'll have to fit in some time to look over all my old Arithmancy charts. I'll have to rewrite them to make them more extensive."
"I like the way you think," Hermione said admiringly. "It's good to have a person who understands how important study is." She looked at the schedule. "Sirius, do you want me to draw you up a schedule as well?" she turned expectantly to Sirius and found him asleep on the chair where five minutes ago he'd been so attentive. She chuckled and kissed his brow before continuing.
After Remus and Hermione had finished their schedule Hermione saw Lily and walked up to her. "Hi," she greeted the red-haired girl. "Want to take a walk?" So they did. They set out around the lush grounds of Hogwarts.
"Oh, Lily," Hermione said breathlessly. "I forgot to ask you. The night of the ball. . .did you use the charm?"
Lily glanced around quickly and, not seeing anyone, turned back to Hermione. "It was wonderful." She smiled radiantly.
Hermione clapped her hands together in delight. "Oh, Lily! I'm so happy for you." She gave the girl a hug. They truly were good friends.
"I'll give you the paper back," Lily promised.
"But. . .don't you need it?"
Lily smiled slyly. "I think I have memorized it by now."
Hermione reddened at this bit of information. "I see." More to recover from the information than anything else, she looked around at the other students. She and Lily passed the throng of girls ogling the handsome-but-evil Lucius Malfoy; the boys who, in absence of brooms, were attempting to play Quidditch with rackets; the girls reading Witch Weekly;and the fifth year boys poring over Playwitch. Hermione saw Severus in the distance. She gave him a secret smile and he smiled back at her. Lily saw both smiles and turned to Hermione puzzlingly. "What's going on with you two, anyway?" she asked.
Hermione buried herself in a new lie: "I helped him with Arithmancy once."
***
When Hermione returned to the common room later that night she saw Sirius staring into the fireplace, holding a piece of parchment.
On the parchment was a letter from his parents. They had informed him that they were going to see Regulus over the holidays and that he should well better stay over the holidays at Hogwarts. He always played it off with an air of detachment, but it still stung. Every time, it hurt. He couldn't stop it or control it.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked as she walked over to him, her face clearly showing her concern. Over time she had grown to care deeply for this boy, the Hogwarts god. She knew he had a heart. He was hesitant to show it to her at all times, however. He hardly offered anything about his family, to her disappointment. But if his family was anything like what they were in the future, she could understand why he would be hesitant.
"Oh–nothing," he said hastily, folding up the parchment and wiping the forlorn look off his face quickly. He put his arm around her. "There are better things to do than talking," he whispered, leaning into her.
He was distracting her; she knew this. She pulled away from him. "Come on, Sirius. Tell me what you're feeling."
He backed off quickly, ran a hand through his hair and looked back into the fire. "Nothing." "What's on the parchment?" she persisted.
"I said nothing!" He said, his voice growing louder. "I think I've got the right to keep a few things from my girlfriend!"
"If it's making you upset I want to know about it!" Hermione's voice grew louder as well.
"Why? Because you have to know everything?" he asked nastily. "Because you have to be a Know-It-All?" He hated himself for yelling at her and yet he couldn't stop.
Hermione's eyes, unwillingly, filled with tears. She had been called a Know-It-All since her first year and it still pierced her heart. It was the second worst insult to have given her. "I don't have to be the Know-It-All," Hermione said softly, a lump forming in her throat. "I'm asking you to include me. But if you don't want to,that's fine. I'll go." She dried the dratted tears and stood to go.
"Hermione," he said softly, wanting to erase every word he'd said to make the glistening tears go away, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was such a prat." He reached for her but she back away from him and left the common room. He banged his fist against the wall in frustration. "Damn it!"
***
Hermione sat outside on the cool grass. The air was crisp, and she shivered slightly.
"Hermione."
She didn't even have to turn around to know whose voice it was. It was the voice that always made her weak at the knees. Sirius.
She stood up and turned to leave.
"Hermione–wait. Let me explain." he tried to grab her but she walked out of his reach, near the edge of the lake.
"I don't see what there is to explain," Hermione told him, walking faster. "You don't want to open up to me. That's fine. I understand."
He was on her heels. "Just–wait, would you?" He walked faster. A slippery rock was in front of him. He didn't see it until he had skidded on it and fallen face first into the lake with a loud splash.
Hermione whirled around at the sound of the splash. Her eyes scanned the water over and over with no sign of him. "Sirius? Sirius?" Her voice shook with emotion. "Where are you? Oh my gosh! Sirius! Sirius!"
"So you do care, then," Sirius said casually from a shaded part of the lake she hadn't seen. Hermione jumped. "Oh, you git. I thought you'd drowned yourself," she cried, sharp in her very relief. Despite the fact that she couldn't swim, she held an outstretched arm to him. "Come on, get out. You'll catch your death of cold."
He took her hand, and, instead of climbing out, pulled her in unceremoniously.
She was pulled underwater then came back up sputtering. "S–Sirius!" She cried, teeth chattering. "T-That wasn't nice! T-Take me back to shore, now!"
"Why? Can't you swim?" he asked, tightening his grasp on her if the answer was in the negative.
Hermione drew herself up stubbornly. "Not that it's any of your business, but no." She suddenly seemed to realize for the first time that she was in deep water, and drew closer to Sirius, who held her protectively. "Take me back to shore, please."
"Not until you listen to me," he said firmly.
"There's nothing to–Oh!" she screamed as something slithery brushed her foot. She forgot herself and leaned against him. He seemed to like this and looked down at her smoulderingly. He could feel her breath on his neck. He closed his eyes and took it in briefly.
"Oh, fine," she said. "I give up. What do you have to say?"
"What I meant to say is that the parchment was a letter from my parents. It said they'd be visiting my brother and that I shouldn't bother coming home." He said this very quickly.
Hermione hated them for making him so upset. "Do they do that a lot?" she asked.
"Yes. They always favor Regulus. And I know it shouldn't matter that they don't care...but it does. It really does." He swallowed and his eyes held the vulnerability of a child.
She knew then and there, staring into his vulnerable eyes, that she would belong to him forever. "Sirius, I'm sure they care. Really. Maybe they just wanted to see Regulus only. Anyway, this is better. Because I'm staying here over the holidays, too. We can spend Christmas together. Doesn't that sound better?" She was trying to cheer him up.
He smiled slowly. "What did you have in mind?" he asked, running his hands up and down her back. He drew closer to her, awaiting her answer.
"Wouldn't you like to know," she purred softly. He kissed her heatedly, apparently thinking along the same lines she was. His lips traveled down to her neck, covering every inch. She gave a small moan.
"That's about what I was thinking," she said breathlessly.
He smiled huskily. "If that's the case, forget going anywhere else for the holidays. I want to stay with you."
She grew serious again. "Really, though, Sirius. I want to hear about your parents. I want to hear about what makes you sad. Because I'm not just your girlfriend, I'm your friend." He nodded. "I'm so sorry. It's just hard for me. I've let you into places that I didn't even know I had."
She sighed. What girl could resist what he was telling her? She was melting, and it was all because of Sirius.
He lifted her body so that she was floating on her back, and he spun her in small circles. She stared up into his eyes as he spun her, knowing that this was her heaven.