Vegeta Nibunnoichi, part 4

Jusenkyo: Reprise
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The first two androids, the stupid ones, die rather quickly.

"Lovely!" exclaims the one called Nineteen, going all starry-eyed and glomping onto the flame-haired Vegeta's generous bosom. 'Smoking crater' is shortly almost a generous turn of phrase to describe what is left of him.

Vegeta is breathing hard, furious, nostrils flared and looking rather violated, arms crossed. "Dammit," is all he says. "Why can't they just fight like normal evil warriors?"

Twenty lives slightly longer, bouncing around on a large staff, shouting orders at the other two, who seem to be Seventeen and Eighteen. Only just slightly though, as a look passes between the two taller androids and they incinerate him with a beam of power from either side.

"Good riddance to him," the male says, revealing a firmer grasp of proper Japanese than his blonde companion.

"He shut up now," the female agrees.

The Z warriors stand around in awe, slightly stunned at suddenly having their enemies' ranks reduced by half. Unfortunately, the last half proves much more difficult to defeat.

Eighteen seems to go after Vegeta in particular, as the other 'female', and they are much too evenly matched for his taste. Trunks, who has still not quite gotten over his father's unique condition, tries awkwardly to help and gets bitch-slapped out of the way for his efforts.

Tien, needless to say, has already been knocked out cold for venturing to save his flame-haired princess from dire peril.

Piccolo is wishing he had a camera, mentally calculating how much money is going to waste from the profits he could have made on the internet with the svelte blonde android wrestling the red-haired saiyajin, both soaking wet and close enough to kiss. Especially with the violent crowd.

Trunks gets in the way one last time. "Dammit boy, I don't need your help!" Vegeta shouts, right before having his arm broken and being flung into his son, both of them going down for good.

Goku, facing off with Seventeen, takes this inopportune time to become afflicted with the heart virus he'd been warned about, and Yamucha, taken out of the fight by the rain, squeals helplessly and tries fruitlessly to drag the huge panda out of harm's way. Piccolo dispatches Gohan post haste for the remedy, back at their house, and grimly steps in to take over.

Unfortunately, none of the warriors can match the androids individually, much less together, and soon there is no one left to try. Krillin, the last man standing, swallows his fear and tries to face death bravely. The bodies of unconscious Z warriors litter the ground like discarded candy wrappers on a theater floor.

"Wait." Bulma, suddenly standing next to him, says, "I was afraid it might come to this. Here."

She unencapsulates two weapons that look for all the world like giant paintball guns. "I promised Vegeta I'd stay out of the way unless there was no other option. I don't see any, do you?"

"Paintball? Are you completely insane?" Krillin shouts.

"Not paintball. More like water balloons," she says calmly, as though that is a vast improvement over paint.

Krillin just stares, but she raises the gun and takes aim at the closest threat, Seventeen, who drops out of the sky like a rock.

Or a wet duck.

Fluttering its wings madly at the last second, it manages to avoid a messy impact, instead flying at Bulma's head, quacking in a way that must surely convey nasty duck obscenities.

Krillin, shocked, fires quickly at the pretty blonde, inordinately pleased with himself as she shrinks into another form -- until he realizes just what that form is.

Kami! It's a CAT!

Krillin, it should be mentioned, is deathly afraid of cats.

The cat, being a cat, lands on its feet. Liquid-eyed, it advances on Krillin with a throaty-sounding meow. Unlike the duck, whom Bulma has hog-tied (duck-tied?) and is holding aloft by the feet, the cat's attitude has completely changed.

"Bulma! Why is it looking at me like that? You didn't tell me she'd turn into a cat! I hate cats! Ahhh!" He runs away as the cat winds around his legs, but the furry thing is lightning-fast and has latched onto him with all four clawed feet. Her velvety purr is audible from yards away.

"Bulma!" he shouts again, desperately. "Do something! Aren't you going to kill them, now that they're small helpless animals?"

Bulma is busy, having tethered the duck to something heavy so that she can inspect her injured lover's arm. "They can't really pose much threat to the planet if all we have to do is hose them down," she says pragmatically. "Besides, I think the she likes you."

"Are you nuts? Sure, she's hot, but she's a cat!"

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The warriors recover, and life goes on.

Trunks manages to get over his father being a cross-dresser, however inadvertently, and returns to the future, armed with a bit of Juskenkyo-to-go, just in case.

Piccolo continues to make mad cash off of the unsuspecting Vegeta when the opportunity arises.

Tien continues to pursue his crimson-haired love whenever the opportunity arises.

Their secret out, Chichi eventually forgives Goku for turning into a panda, and taking Gohan anywhere near a place that might have turned him into a panda.

Goku eventually forgives Yamucha for groping his wife while in pig form.

Seventeen eventually forgives Bulma for turning him into a duck, under threat of being tied to a tree and abandoned during duck-hunting season.

Vegeta eventually forgives Bulma for coming to the rescue and saving all of their asses with brains instead of brawn.

Krillin eventually forgives Eighteen for being a cat and marries her, as long as she promises to avoid cold drinks.

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End

Sorry that this isn't terribly long, but it's the end I had in mind the whole time and just never got a chance to write out. I hate leaving things without an ending, so I just wanted to post this quickly to wrap it up. I was pretty sure that if I didn't write and post it tonight it would linger in my archives file forever, collecting dust. This isn't my best fic, but it was pretty fun to write, and a tribute to the anime that got me started with anime and fanfiction, at least as a reader, if not a writer. (That would be Ranma 1/2).