Chapter 24
Miracle
Exams came and exams went. Remus and Hermione followed the schedule faithfully, each bombarding the other with questions about certain facts ("What year was the goblin rebellion, again?") and the other dutifully providing the answer ("1642.")
"This year's N.E.W.T. year," Remus reminded Hermione. "Exams are crucial."
"I agree, our whole future depends on it," Lily said. "What we do for the rest of our lives."
Hermione bit back a sob as she remembered how Lily would never get the chance to live out her whole life, like she was meant to. She forced a smile. "So, where are you all going over the holidays?"
"Home," Remus and Peter said.
"Lily's staying with me–and my parents," James added hastily. "Sirius, why aren't you coming with us? You always used to." James wore a look of mock hurt.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You'll have to live with the heartbreak. I'm staying with my girlfriend." Hermione loved the way he said "girlfriend." It sent shivers down her spine. It seemed like she and Sirius would be the only two Gryffindors staying over the holidays, and that sent even more shivers down her spine. Sirius seemed to be thinking along the same lines and his arm snaked around her waist.
After the school had been emptied, only five students remained; Hermione, Sirius, Severus, and two Ravenclaw girls.
The Gryffindor common room was full of the rich Christmas decorations: ivy, the smell of pine trees, festive signs bearing the words "Happy Christmas!"
And the mistletoe. Sirius knew they'd have fun with that later; his pulse quickened at the thought of it.
Hermione stood in front of a large undecorated Christmas tree. The firelight caught her hair and he watched it dance. She'd worked her way into his heart and she'd set up a permanent spot there. He could not have put into words what he felt for her; it was impossible. All he knew was that he would do anything for her. And when she turned to him and smiled, full of the firelight, he knew he'd always be hers.
"Hi," she said, hugging him warmly. "I told the house elves we'd decorate the tree."
"Trying to make less work for them, are you?"
A smile played on her lips. "Well. . .maybe. But I thought it would be fun. Since your parents aren't here. .. ."
"And thank Merlin for that."
". . .I've decided I'll be your family."
"Oh?"
She beamed. "I'll be your family. I'll help you decorate the tree, I'll eat Christmas dinner with you. . ."
His smile was as bright as hers. "All right, then. Families decorate Christmas trees. Let's get to it."
She took his hand and led him to a box of decorations. "Here." Together they opened the box to find ornaments of every kind; some antique and ornate; some abstract; some so old they were falling apart. Hermione lifted a pair of turtle doves. She handed one to Sirius. He smiled and together they put the turtle doves on the tree. Hermione smiled softly as she remembered seeing the pair of turtledoves on the tree in her own time. She admired them even then.
"They look like soulmates," Sirius commented.
"What are soulmates, anyway?" Hermione asked thoughtfully, placing a crystal reindeer on the tree. Sirius put down an ornament and looked pensive. Finally he said, "Soulmates, Hermione. They're...they've got a deep connection. From the first moment they meet there's a pull between them that neither can explain. Even if they don't have much in common they still yearn to be with the other. They don't need to talk sometimes; they can sit in silence and then walk away feeling like they've had the best talk of their lives. The connection between soulmates is. . .miraculous Because that's what love is. A miracle."
The words "I love you" were on the tip of her tongue but she did not say them. Instead she silently decorated the tree. They worked together in the golden silence of soulmates. Hermione snuck over to a part of the common room and pulled out a shiny little red box.
Sirius saw her and grinned slyly. "What's that?" he asked innocently.
"Your gift, of course!" She hid it behind her back.
He playfully reached for it. "Let me have a peek."
"Oh no, you don't!" she cried. She backed away from him.
"Look, Hermione," he said slowly, "I have ways of making you talk, so. . ." His lips landed on her neck and worked their way around it.
She sighed. "You're going to get anything you want if you keep this up, love." Gradually her grip on the box loosened and with one quick motion he'd grabbed the box out of her hands and dashed up to his dormitory gleefully.
She screamed and ran up to the dormitory after him. When she reached it it was empty. Her eyes raked over the dormitory; over the stray socks; the tattered copies of Playwitch; the torn essays on goblin rebellions; finally her eyes landed on an umade bed that she knew to be Sirius' by the messiness. She saw a shadow near the bed and inched toward it cautiously. When she reached it she was attacked playfully from behind and landed headfirst on the bed.
"Mmph!" she exclaimed, muffled by the bedspread. Sirius got up and rolled her over. For the first time they seemed to realized the position they were in; Hermione, red-faced, stood up.
The situation they were in was complex to Hermione. They were both alone, secluded even. There was no possibility of another Gryffindor coming in to interrupt them. The idea of being so alone together made Hermione tingle. She could lose complete control.
Later Hermione admired the decorated tree; Sirius had gone off in search of cocoa. She picked up her gift for Sirius. It was a gold chain with the initials "HG and SB" interwined. But the gift was deeper than that. Hermione had put a binding charm on it. It was a charm that would bind the maker's heart with the recipient's heart. As long as the recipient wore it, their hearts would be interwined. The feelings she had for Sirius would never have revealed themselves in a clearer light than the necklace. She was afraid to say I love you. She was afraid that Sirius would run. She was afraid that he would laugh at her, that he would not say the words back, that he would feel pressured to say them back.
Sirius arrived with the cocoa. She took it and they sat together, their thoughts illuminated in the bright lights of the tree.
Sirius was bound to Hermione, with or without the necklace. Yet he was afraid to say I love you. He had never, ever said that to a girl, save for Lily, and even then she'd made him say it. He was ashamed to say that he did use girls. Hermione had defended him against Jennifer, but Jennifer was right. He did use girls. He knew it, and now he was ashamed. Because he now had the most precious girl of them all. That he was ashamed was the biggest breakthough he'd ever had. He had never realized he hurt girls and if he did he hadn't been sorry. He'd just gotten what he wanted from them and that was it. He often got bored with a girl's 'style' and simply moved on to the next. The thoughts disgusted him now and he would never tell Hermione lest she be disgusted as well. He did not want her to think him heartless. Though he had been for a long time. His parents' negligence had cut deeper than he would ever realize. His inability to love had stemmed from them. He never admit that they meant that much to him. But they did. For better or worse, they were his parents. And in his own way, he did love them. But that love had the power to destroy him and so he kept it buried inside himself.
They looked at each other sideways, each afraid of the other.
She smiled.
He smiled.
And both sipped their cocoa.
Heaven help her, she loved him.
He loved her; it was a miracle.
My beloved reviewers:
qoa I loved beach day! Ty for helping me. doughnut oh, good luck! And the shadows–I thought that was open for interpretation. I thought you could kind of draw your own conclusions. As boring as that sounds. Again, good luck! imogenhm I hope this cheered you up a little! hermione-and-draco-2005 youare right. Not everything has a happy ending. I needed to put that in, but now this is a bit more cheerful. Puffy Marshmallow I will review your story, swear! auditoriumnazi whew! stops choking beta Oh, ellipses....I don't do anything special, I just put them in. isnaniI recently converted to R/Hr. Can you recommend a good fic for me? And I love your site! Thanks SO much for mentioning me! HyperonCookies munches on cookie thanks, I needed that. I swear to you I will never abandon this story, no matter how little reviewers. It needs to be told, if just for me. Don't worry. shearer Yay! I got you hooked! It's an honor, lol. I like to think my story's good enough to have spent half a day on ;) Amanda I am glad you're drawn; please stick with me! Rane2920072 Here you go, enjoy! Midnight Firefly Nice name! At first I didn't know it was you. I like to put in really meaningful last lines; I feel they set the tone for the whole chapter. Ja Ne, Mata Ne (hehe someone said that to me yesterday and was surprised I knew what it meant! So thanks!) DisneyDoll0424 Poor Ron. I am glad you liked it;I was not sure how people were going to take it. Willow (am too lazy to type in the whole name. You know who I mean) Put that pic of you and Addie back up! You guys are so pretty! I am proud of you! Good job! Personally I get the idea for the chapter when my mind wanders in science then I finally jot it down 10 mins before I post it. Hiril Narwain Aack! I know it's short! Forgive me! Moony's Angel How're you feeling about your friend who passed away? I was thinking of you. Hope you're okay. Captain Oblivious UGH! I am awful! We were given a vocab word with impervius and I was studying it when I typed the chapter. Forgive me! Oh, about Arthur–I am planning to use him in a future chapter, so I kinda fudged that. pyroprincess4rmeverwood Updated your fic? I want to read it! Lily Skylo waves WB! I see from your e-mail you love Orli...so do I! I am so happy for him and Kate. Hearts Ron is a sweetie. I love and adore him. But I think Sirius is perfect for Hermione. Riff (that's my new name for you...it's the laziness.) Angst rules. I personally love all H/G angst. yoblossom thanks! I think I might put in more Ginny, Ron, and Harry. Let me talk to my beta and get back to you ;) Cybeleflame Yes, I think we had to see what the poor kids are doing without Hermione. Poor them. She is their anchor. Kelcey2007 Yay! Another fan! Hi! Prettoaka Raven Potter Weasley I am sorry. But I LOVE H/G and I insist on putting them in a fic :) They rock. And Bonnie not liking H/G–that's just her opinion, not JKR's. And Harry James and Hermione Jane—Do you know Ginny's middle name is Molly? Molly and James, Harry and Ginny are named after their parents. grins The Dark One Reborn roflmao! You're split between Ron and Sirius, huh? I must say–and forgive me, Ron– that I'd choose Sirius in a flash. slyterinrules85 THANKS! I am glad to see such positive feedback, knock wood. elfgurl I love your idea, but I can't say anything in the affirmative or negative :) Leila3 Yay! Another reviewer's back! Hi! WB! Yes, I can see how you'd be torn....but I'd pick Sirius. Though I do feel for Ron. Fallen Angel of Hell Cruel and cold.....sounds like me! I dwell in my own sarcasm. It's who I am. Glad to see a kindred spirit. magic sparkle 1 My Lord, what an idea! I never thought of that! runs off to talk to beta about it Tori I loved beach day! It rocked! I screamed a bit too much though. A cult, huh? I dunno. smiles bastet-the-cat-goddessaw, don't be sad! Be glad! Lol LunaLovegood I'll try my hardest not to let you down! CeLeStIaL BeInG bigs hugs welcome back hon! Oh, 14 days with no comp?!? My two best friends went to Belize devoid of technology as well.....but he found a computer, of course. Must be radar. I love your review! Keep reviewing like that! Katie Bloomseriously? Wow! I've read some great fanfics and I can assure you mine's not as good as theirs. Paprika why thank you hon! Tithe Oh, what an honor! I do feel loved now. I am glad you were so into my fic. It doesn't matter that you're late in seeing this–at least you had a lot to read! Please stick with me. Gabriele Madden-Lovato you'll find out about the mission soon enough. hye em yes HI! WELCOME! hugs thank you for reading!