Chapter 27
You Were A Mistake
He awoke. It was after midnight, he knew. Rubbing his eyes, he turned to look for his love. She wasn't there. He wondered where she could be. Sitting up, he absentmindedly rubbed the necklace she had given him.
It was late. Where was she? Gathering his wits, he stood up and headed down to the common room to look for her. Whe his search was fruitless, he began to worry. Frantically, he ran out of the common room and into the hallway. He heard voices around the corner and stopped to listen.
"The only thing is, how am I going to explain it to Sirius?" Hermione wondered out loud. "All those times I said I was at the library I was really with you. I lied to him over and over."
"I told you," Severus said, a bit impatiently, "He'll believe because he wants to. Listen, Hermione. I have never told anyone this.....but I want you to hear it.
"Tonight you went farther for me than anyone has. You lied to your boyfriend, you saved my life...you listened to me. Hermione, I haven't been able to talk to anyone like I have with you. You were the only one in this dratted school who knew art and loved it like I did. And you stood up for me against Sirius that day in Potions. I know you don't remember, but I do. That's when I knew you were special. I guess what I am trying to say...Hermione, I love you."
And when he looked harder, he saw his love and another man kissing.
No words could have been used to describe his, he still loved her. Shock and pain. She had lied to him? All those times she'd said she was at the library she was with him.
And now the man was declaring his love for her.
Sickened, he ran back to the common room. His composure did not last him long; he fell to his knees and tears stung his eyes. He held his stomach.
It was the worst pain ever. The woman he loved more than anything had lied to him and she had kissed another.
Slowly and achingly he trod back up to dormitory. If he could give the pretense that he was asleep, he could give her a chance to explain. Though it was already clear to him. He was tired. So tired. He closed his eyes.
He heard a rustling; she lay down next to him and touched his arm. The touch was agony. She was still the only one who could send shivers up his spine. That, more than anything, angered him.
And then she lied to him again.
Hermione looked surprised. "What?"
"You heard me," Sirius said, jerking away roughly from her touch. "I saw you with him. I heard you telling him how you lied to me. And I heard him declare his lovefor you." He went down to the common room.
Hermione ran after him. She was in shock. In less than a day's time she had both ruined her life and her boyfriend's.
"I can explain," she cried, running haggardly down the stairs after him.
He turned. "Well, I'm very curious." He waited for her explanation.
What was she going to tell him? She couldn't tell him where she really was without telling him about Severus' mother. She couldn't tell him where she had been all those times she'd lied to him without spilling Severus' secret.
She had made a promise.
There was no way out.
"I swear, Sirius, there is nothing between Severus and I," Hermione declared, stepping closer to him. "I want you."
He looked at her. "That's what you said after you swore to me there was nothing between you and Severus. After he'd gushed over your painting. Do you remember? That was months ago. And apparently it wasn't true."
Tears started to flow down Hermione's cheeks. Why didn't he believe her? She loved him. But Sirius wasn't done. "All those times. . .every time you said you were at the library...you were with him. Am I right?" When he got no response, he repeated, "Am I?" Broken and ashamed, Hermione whispered, "Yes."
Having it confirmed seemed to break Sirius a bit. He turned his back to her and tried to stop the stinging tears.
Neither seemed to be able to talk. Sirius was overwhelmed. He was so sure Hermione felt the same way he did. So sure. And now...she had lied to him over and over. The girls who had lied to him in the past had been girls who'd wanted only his bed. Unimportant.
He'd thought Hermione was above that. He thought her to be above every other girl.
"I trusted you," Sirius said suddenly. "I believed that you were more real and more honest than any other girl in this school. I even thought I loved you." He laughed bitterly.
He'd finally said the words.
It was ironic. Hermione should have been joyous that he'd said he loved her. But instead the word was mixed with anger and remorse. It was not joyous at all.
"Sirius, you know me," Hermione cried desperately. "You know my heart."
He stared at her for a long time. Finally all he said was, "You are so beautiful when you cry. I've just seen it too many times."
"Sirius, how can you say I don't love you? How can you say I don't care? When I have spent so much time with you? When I've told you everything? When you've told me everything? How can you throw away something we've fought for? Sirius, I love you!" She tried to kiss him but he pushed her away.
"Don't you ever touch me again!" He yelled. "I told you too much, I let you in to far. I told you things I'd never told anyone. It was a mistake. You're a mistake. I don't love you."
Sirius reached up to his neck and roughly pulled the necklace she had given him. He broke the chain.
"That's my heart," he told her, before leaving. A terrible coldness filled her heart. The necklace had bound them before, through their love. Now it lay in a pile on the floor. He'd broken the connection.
"I love you..." Hermione whispered, slowly falling to the floor.
In another part of the castle a man with a long white beard was worried.
The task was in danger.