Shannon's eyes bugged out of his head as he read Jas' latest story. WHAT?!
Him and Torrie and Dawn Marie in a threesome? Wait till Jeff came home. He
was going to explode! He quickly typed his review:
Mfer1
And just HOW is this a love story, Jas? You think you're funny, don't you? You'd better set this right before Jeff calls his travel agent!
Shannon
He then dialed Shane's number to vent.
"Let me guess," Shane said when he answered without a greeting. "You read Shannon's Request?"
"You've seen that load of bull?"
"Oh, I have her on my author alert list," Shane replied.
"Aren't you afraid she'll figure you out?"
"How? It's anonymous."
"Okay, well anyhow, now instead of being gay, we're all a bunch of man whores!"
"That's not considered an improvement?" Shane asked.
"NO!" Shannon shrieked. "It's not right at all! I wouldn't have minded a traditional romance story, but a three-way sex fest?"
"I got that, too," Shane reminded him. In fact my three way had two very lovely, long legged divas."
"Shane, you're GAY!"
"Yeah, but you told her not to write about that," Shane reasoned. "So the next best thing is a story like this!"
"HOW is this GOOD?"
"We're scoring all the great looking divas!"
"I'M having a three way with Dawn Marie and Torrie!"
"They're considered hot by straight men's standards, you know. Torrie was in Playboy!"
"Okay, YOU explain that to Jeff when he gets back. Cause I don't think he's going to want to hear it."
"Your man is too jealous of the girls, you know," Shane sniffed. "He needs to learn to relax."
"Like YOU do when all of the girls mob Matt?"
"That's different!"
"Uh huh," Shannon smirked. "Look, we have to find this girl. And if Jeff finds her alone, she may wind up kidnapped after all."
"Most of our fans would LOVE that!"
"This one ain't like most fans," Shannon sighed. "She'll fight us all the way on this. She thinks she's standing up for freedom of speech and all that."
"Look, I got to ask you, man," Shane said suddenly very serious. "Why are you taking this particular writer so seriously? I mean there are a ton of other writers who post darker stories about us. Rape scenes, vampire stories, stuff like that. What makes Jas worse?"
"I don't know," Shannon replied. "Maybe it's because I met her. It makes her more real to me than the others. She knows she's doing wrong, or she would have told us who she was."
"Be serious, Shan," Shane scoffed. "There were four professional athletes surrounding her, all of whom were dissing that story. Would YOU tell us who you were in that situation?"
Shannon thought for a while. No, he probably wouldn't. But that wouldn't excuse her in his eyes.
"I think she's thumbing her nose at us now, don't you?"
"How so?"
"This ain't no romance story, Shane!" Shannon cried. "I'm depicted as a whore!"
"She said it wouldn't matter to her if the stories were about us, that she likes the feelings in the stories," Shane said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, maybe she can't do traditional love stories. Maybe she can only write romantic stories about men."
"But why does she write them about us if she doesn't have to?"
"Maybe you need to ask her."
"Maybe," Shannon replied. "But I'm still going to find her."
********************************
Meanwhile, back in Minnesota . . .
Jas read the review again. She figured Shannon wouldn't love the story, but that he would have to agree that it held to their agreement. Then why was he still hell bent on finding her? A knock on her door interrupted her as her friend Ally stepped into the room. Maybe she knows what to do, Jas thought.
"Ally, I'm in big trouble!"
"Jas, what did you do now."
"I wrote this story on fanfiction.net about Shannon Moore. You know the one about him and Adam?"
"Yeah," Ally replied as she plunked herself down the end of Jas' bed.
"Well, on my way back to school, I met him and his friends in the airport and he caught me reading one of the stories I wrote about him. Only he didn't know I wrote it."
"How's that bad?" Ally asked, clearly unsure of what was upsetting her friend.
"Well, look," Jas said, pulling up the story 'Shannon's Outrage' and turning the laptop to Ally, who read the story quickly.
"Oh my God, you're in trouble!"
"I know! And now that I wrote a het story about him, he's STILL mad!"
"Why? You wrote something with him not being gay! But he really is gay?"
"Well, it looked like it to me when I saw him kiss Jeff," Jas replied.
"I KNEW it!" Ally squeaked.
"But here, look at the het story," Jas pulled up 'Shannon's Request' and waited for Ally to finish reading it. When Ally was done she shook her head and grinned. "Yeah, not one of my better posts. But he says Jeff's coming to find me and he has a sketch of me! I am SO dead if they find me, Ally! These guys have FINISHING moves!"
"They can't find you! I wont let them! Anyway, what are they going do?" Ally reasoned. "They won't do anything if the whole school knows they're here. They'll be constantly mobbed, which will give you time to hide."
"Yeah, but it'll give THEM time to tell everyone what I did!"
"We've got to not let him find you. Dye your hair, or something."
"Hmm. That's a start," Jas said. "How do you think I'd look as a brunette?"
"Well, I'm one. I think pretty good," Ally grinned. "Or, we could dye your hair and get a friend that looks like you and tell Jeff that she's you so he can torture her and you'll be safe!"
"He saw me close up. He'll know it's not me!"
"I have an idea!" Ally exclaimed.
"Really?" Jas asked hopefully. "What?"
"We could look for him," Ally said leaning in conspiratorially. "Then when we see him, we could kidnap him and write to Shan, telling him to leave you alone or else he'll never see his Jeffy again!"
"We'd get arrested, though!"
"No, we'll think of something so he can't call the cops," Ally insisted. "I mean he's stalking you! We could call the cops on them. They'd get arrested for stalking you. We'll find someway to distract him, get him to go to one of our dorms and just keep him there."
"Ally, as much as I'd love to implement that plan, you know as well as I do that the cops would believe that rainbow-haired fool over us because he's a star. He'd tell them we were stalking him. Then it's hello, jail! Good bye, degree!"
"Hmm. Let me think!"
Jas sat back worriedly. Ally was great in a crunch but this problem seems to have stumped even her expertise.
"You could dye your hair, get color contacts and move into another friend's dorm and change your name until he leaves."
"Hmm. I don't know," Jas pondered. "Maybe I could just avoid him when he's here. All I need to do is keep a look out for him and scram before he sees me."
"And if he sees you, I'll sneak up behind him, knock him out, and keep him until they leave you alone."
"You just want Jeff, don't you?" Jas laughed.
"Well, I want to bug him," Ally pouted. "I tried to get his autograph once. He said he'd be right back to give it to me, then I saw him leaving down the street with Shannon."
"Bummer!" Jas said affronted on behalf of her friend. "We'll get him for that somehow."
"Well, I've got to go finish my stuff for school tomorrow," Ally said getting up. "Don't worry too much. We'll figure this out tomorrow."
Jas nodded as her friend walked out the door. She sighed and turned back to her computer. She felt a headache coming on as she noticed Shannon's email. Ready to take her lumps.
To: JeffAndShannon
From: Mfer1
Subject: Not what I expected
Dear Jas,
Why can't you just write slash stories about made up characters if you can't write regular love stories? I can't figure out why you have to write about us.
Do you enjoy upsetting me? I think you do. You know damn well that story wasn't what I expected to see from you. It sure as hell wasn't what Jeff wanted to see either. He hates stories about him and Amy. She's like a sister to him.
He's packed and on his way to your lovely area, by the way. This actually worries me, Jas, and I'm not kidding. He's more determined to get to you than I am. Be very careful. This is not to say that I don't want you to be found. I just don't want Jeff to do anything stupid, if you know what I mean.
Your favorite Mfer, apparently,
Shannon
"Sweet Jesus!" Jas sighed. She needed more help. Who could she turn to now? She thought before deciding and starting the email:
To: Kandiland
From: JeffAndShannon
Subject: I'm doomed! Help me please!
Dear Kandi
I am so doomed! Check out all of the attached emails and a transcript of a conversation I had with my friend Ally earlier. Please help me out here. I need some good advice on how to get out of this mess without compromising my slash stories! Please help me!
Sadly, Jas
********************************
NOTE: Welcome, Ally (Ally_Hardy_xtreme_4eva). Ally's come aboard to play the fictional Jas' school friend and is writing her dialogue with me through Yahoo messenger conversations. By the way, those of you who have already sent in emails aren't done yet. Jas is still going to be appealing for advice from you, so watch out! This time it's Kandiland's turn. Kandi, give me something!
Mfer1
And just HOW is this a love story, Jas? You think you're funny, don't you? You'd better set this right before Jeff calls his travel agent!
Shannon
He then dialed Shane's number to vent.
"Let me guess," Shane said when he answered without a greeting. "You read Shannon's Request?"
"You've seen that load of bull?"
"Oh, I have her on my author alert list," Shane replied.
"Aren't you afraid she'll figure you out?"
"How? It's anonymous."
"Okay, well anyhow, now instead of being gay, we're all a bunch of man whores!"
"That's not considered an improvement?" Shane asked.
"NO!" Shannon shrieked. "It's not right at all! I wouldn't have minded a traditional romance story, but a three-way sex fest?"
"I got that, too," Shane reminded him. In fact my three way had two very lovely, long legged divas."
"Shane, you're GAY!"
"Yeah, but you told her not to write about that," Shane reasoned. "So the next best thing is a story like this!"
"HOW is this GOOD?"
"We're scoring all the great looking divas!"
"I'M having a three way with Dawn Marie and Torrie!"
"They're considered hot by straight men's standards, you know. Torrie was in Playboy!"
"Okay, YOU explain that to Jeff when he gets back. Cause I don't think he's going to want to hear it."
"Your man is too jealous of the girls, you know," Shane sniffed. "He needs to learn to relax."
"Like YOU do when all of the girls mob Matt?"
"That's different!"
"Uh huh," Shannon smirked. "Look, we have to find this girl. And if Jeff finds her alone, she may wind up kidnapped after all."
"Most of our fans would LOVE that!"
"This one ain't like most fans," Shannon sighed. "She'll fight us all the way on this. She thinks she's standing up for freedom of speech and all that."
"Look, I got to ask you, man," Shane said suddenly very serious. "Why are you taking this particular writer so seriously? I mean there are a ton of other writers who post darker stories about us. Rape scenes, vampire stories, stuff like that. What makes Jas worse?"
"I don't know," Shannon replied. "Maybe it's because I met her. It makes her more real to me than the others. She knows she's doing wrong, or she would have told us who she was."
"Be serious, Shan," Shane scoffed. "There were four professional athletes surrounding her, all of whom were dissing that story. Would YOU tell us who you were in that situation?"
Shannon thought for a while. No, he probably wouldn't. But that wouldn't excuse her in his eyes.
"I think she's thumbing her nose at us now, don't you?"
"How so?"
"This ain't no romance story, Shane!" Shannon cried. "I'm depicted as a whore!"
"She said it wouldn't matter to her if the stories were about us, that she likes the feelings in the stories," Shane said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, maybe she can't do traditional love stories. Maybe she can only write romantic stories about men."
"But why does she write them about us if she doesn't have to?"
"Maybe you need to ask her."
"Maybe," Shannon replied. "But I'm still going to find her."
********************************
Meanwhile, back in Minnesota . . .
Jas read the review again. She figured Shannon wouldn't love the story, but that he would have to agree that it held to their agreement. Then why was he still hell bent on finding her? A knock on her door interrupted her as her friend Ally stepped into the room. Maybe she knows what to do, Jas thought.
"Ally, I'm in big trouble!"
"Jas, what did you do now."
"I wrote this story on fanfiction.net about Shannon Moore. You know the one about him and Adam?"
"Yeah," Ally replied as she plunked herself down the end of Jas' bed.
"Well, on my way back to school, I met him and his friends in the airport and he caught me reading one of the stories I wrote about him. Only he didn't know I wrote it."
"How's that bad?" Ally asked, clearly unsure of what was upsetting her friend.
"Well, look," Jas said, pulling up the story 'Shannon's Outrage' and turning the laptop to Ally, who read the story quickly.
"Oh my God, you're in trouble!"
"I know! And now that I wrote a het story about him, he's STILL mad!"
"Why? You wrote something with him not being gay! But he really is gay?"
"Well, it looked like it to me when I saw him kiss Jeff," Jas replied.
"I KNEW it!" Ally squeaked.
"But here, look at the het story," Jas pulled up 'Shannon's Request' and waited for Ally to finish reading it. When Ally was done she shook her head and grinned. "Yeah, not one of my better posts. But he says Jeff's coming to find me and he has a sketch of me! I am SO dead if they find me, Ally! These guys have FINISHING moves!"
"They can't find you! I wont let them! Anyway, what are they going do?" Ally reasoned. "They won't do anything if the whole school knows they're here. They'll be constantly mobbed, which will give you time to hide."
"Yeah, but it'll give THEM time to tell everyone what I did!"
"We've got to not let him find you. Dye your hair, or something."
"Hmm. That's a start," Jas said. "How do you think I'd look as a brunette?"
"Well, I'm one. I think pretty good," Ally grinned. "Or, we could dye your hair and get a friend that looks like you and tell Jeff that she's you so he can torture her and you'll be safe!"
"He saw me close up. He'll know it's not me!"
"I have an idea!" Ally exclaimed.
"Really?" Jas asked hopefully. "What?"
"We could look for him," Ally said leaning in conspiratorially. "Then when we see him, we could kidnap him and write to Shan, telling him to leave you alone or else he'll never see his Jeffy again!"
"We'd get arrested, though!"
"No, we'll think of something so he can't call the cops," Ally insisted. "I mean he's stalking you! We could call the cops on them. They'd get arrested for stalking you. We'll find someway to distract him, get him to go to one of our dorms and just keep him there."
"Ally, as much as I'd love to implement that plan, you know as well as I do that the cops would believe that rainbow-haired fool over us because he's a star. He'd tell them we were stalking him. Then it's hello, jail! Good bye, degree!"
"Hmm. Let me think!"
Jas sat back worriedly. Ally was great in a crunch but this problem seems to have stumped even her expertise.
"You could dye your hair, get color contacts and move into another friend's dorm and change your name until he leaves."
"Hmm. I don't know," Jas pondered. "Maybe I could just avoid him when he's here. All I need to do is keep a look out for him and scram before he sees me."
"And if he sees you, I'll sneak up behind him, knock him out, and keep him until they leave you alone."
"You just want Jeff, don't you?" Jas laughed.
"Well, I want to bug him," Ally pouted. "I tried to get his autograph once. He said he'd be right back to give it to me, then I saw him leaving down the street with Shannon."
"Bummer!" Jas said affronted on behalf of her friend. "We'll get him for that somehow."
"Well, I've got to go finish my stuff for school tomorrow," Ally said getting up. "Don't worry too much. We'll figure this out tomorrow."
Jas nodded as her friend walked out the door. She sighed and turned back to her computer. She felt a headache coming on as she noticed Shannon's email. Ready to take her lumps.
To: JeffAndShannon
From: Mfer1
Subject: Not what I expected
Dear Jas,
Why can't you just write slash stories about made up characters if you can't write regular love stories? I can't figure out why you have to write about us.
Do you enjoy upsetting me? I think you do. You know damn well that story wasn't what I expected to see from you. It sure as hell wasn't what Jeff wanted to see either. He hates stories about him and Amy. She's like a sister to him.
He's packed and on his way to your lovely area, by the way. This actually worries me, Jas, and I'm not kidding. He's more determined to get to you than I am. Be very careful. This is not to say that I don't want you to be found. I just don't want Jeff to do anything stupid, if you know what I mean.
Your favorite Mfer, apparently,
Shannon
"Sweet Jesus!" Jas sighed. She needed more help. Who could she turn to now? She thought before deciding and starting the email:
To: Kandiland
From: JeffAndShannon
Subject: I'm doomed! Help me please!
Dear Kandi
I am so doomed! Check out all of the attached emails and a transcript of a conversation I had with my friend Ally earlier. Please help me out here. I need some good advice on how to get out of this mess without compromising my slash stories! Please help me!
Sadly, Jas
********************************
NOTE: Welcome, Ally (Ally_Hardy_xtreme_4eva). Ally's come aboard to play the fictional Jas' school friend and is writing her dialogue with me through Yahoo messenger conversations. By the way, those of you who have already sent in emails aren't done yet. Jas is still going to be appealing for advice from you, so watch out! This time it's Kandiland's turn. Kandi, give me something!