Chapter 7

The Pain of Reality

"How could I let this happen?" Liz whispered between her sobs.

"It's okay Liz. You did the best you could," Dr. Greene comforted her coming in from talking to Carter. He told him Bella hadn't made it.

"How could I let this happen?" Carter whispered between his sobs. "How could I hurt her like this?"

"It wasn't your fault John. It was just a freak thing that happened," Doug tried to assure him. "Just think. Bella's up there with her mom now. She's probably a lot happier."

John got a mental image of Bella and Jessica up in heaven as angels.

"Why couldn't it have been me?" he asked.

"Because, you have 3 little babies at home that need you. I know that Bella had a lot to look forward to in life but now at least she can discuss her troubles with her mother and they can be happy together. Bella had no other older female to talk to and that must have been really frustrating for her," Doug said forcing Carter to stay in his range of eye contact.

"She had Lucy," John whispered.

"I know but you know as well as I do that Lucy couldn't be there for her all the time. Plus nobody could have replaced Jess in her heart. Not even Lucy." John was silent for a little while just staring at his daughters' dead body.

"In another positive way, Bella died at the exact same time as Jessica. That just can't be a coincidence. It's destiny."

John said nothing to this.

"I'll leave you alone with her. You still have a little while before they come and take the body," Doug patted John on the shoulder and left.

"I'm really sorry Bella. I love you so much," John whispered tears flooding into his eyes and fogging his vision.

"I never meant to hurt you."

Doug met up with Liz, Abby, Dr. Raymono, and Mark in the lounge.

"Has anyone called Lucy?" he asked going over to the phone that was positioned on the side of the couch. No one spoke but instead silently shook their heads. Liz started to cry again.

"Come on Lizzie," Abby whispered softly holding her hand out to the crying woman.

"It's okay. We got her," Mark said as he took one of Liz's hands and Raymono took the other.

"You stay with Doug. Okay?" he whispered. She slowly nodded her head.

"I'll talk to Lucy if you want to call Carole," Abby offered once Mark and Raymono had taken Liz out into the hallway.

"Would you? Thanks Abby that would really help me out," Doug smiled before heading out to call Carole.

"Lucy, is there something the matter with Daddy?" Ruthie whispered. Lucy quietly closed the door to the nursery and picked Ruthie up.

"I hope not Ruthie," she whispered taking her back downstairs.

"When Lizzie watches us Daddy gets back before the babies go to bed," Ruthie said.

"Would it make you feel better if I let you stay up until Daddy gets home?" Lucy asked nuzzling her face into her head of brown curls.

"Yes," Ruthie whispered snuggling down into Lucy's arms. The phone rang as soon as Lucy set Ruthie on the couch.

"Carter residence," Lucy replied.

"Lucy. Hi it's Abby," Abby's voice came from the other end.

"Hey Abby. John hasn't come back home yet," Lucy said.

"No. Lucy, John and Bella both got shot. On the way to the hospital they crashed their car," Abby came right out and said it. No beating around the bush, no trying to ease her into anything. She knew Lucy would want it straight out.

"Oh my god. Is everyone okay?" she asked. From the sound of Abby keeping back a sob on the other side she already knew the answer.

"Abby! What happened?" Lucy cried. Ruthie latched herself onto Lucy's leg having been frightened. Abby tried clearing her throat but her response still came out shaky.

"Bella didn't make it Lucy. She's dead. Bella's dead." Lucy was quiet for a long time, not wanting to cry in front of Ruthie and scare her.

"How are John and Paige?" Lucy whispered.

"Their okay. Except for fractured wrist Paige is fine. John got shot in his shoulder but luckily the bullet didn't do any severe damage." Abby didn't have to whisper on the other end. Being alone she allowed the tears to flow freely from her eyes.

"Could I talk to him?" Lucy asked.

"He's spending the last few minutes he can with Bella," Abby explained. "But I'm sure he'd want you to stay with the kids."

"Okay. Goodnight Abby," Lucy whispered.

"Goodnight Lucy."

Lucy clicked off the phone and looked over at Ruthie who had climbed back up on the couch.

"Did something bad happen to Daddy?" she asked seriously. Lucy sighed and wondered how she was going to break the news to the little girl.

"Goodnight Mommy," Amanda whispered as she turned off the light in her and Jamie's room.

"Goodnight girls," Carole whispered and closed the door. As soon as she put some coffee on the phone rang.

"Hello?" Carole said wiping her hands on a dish rag.

"Hey Carole. I hate to be the barer of bad news," Doug whispered. He sounded like he was in a great deal of distress.

"Doug what's the matter?" Carole asked beginning to tense.

"John and Bella got shot just outside a penthouse on the way to the library. On the way to the hospital John crashed the car."

"Are they okay?" Carole asked having to sit down after receiving the news.

"No Carole. Well, John and Paige will be fine but Bella...,"

"She's dead isn't she? Bella's dead," Carole interrupted tears already making their way down her face. The line was silent. It tore Doug's heart out just to hear his wife cry.

"How are Paige and John handling it?" she whispered.

"I tried to explain to John that Bella's with Jessica now," Doug whispered back.

"If you believe in that sort of thing," Carole said wiping tears off of her cheeks.

"Don't worry baby," Doug said. "We got through it when Jessica died and we'll get through it now."

"Okay," Carole said shortly not wanting to talk anymore. Her crying had made her throat hurt.

"I love you and I'll be home later on," Doug said and hung up. After hanging up the phone Carole buried her face into her hands and started to cry again. As she wiped away the tears she couldn't help but wonder if Doug was right. How would they get through this? They barely had gotten through with Jessica and Carole thought that Bella was basically the reason John pulled through. Carole went back into the kitchen and poured the coffee into the sink. She went to the bedroom and crawled into bed.

As she hugged the blankets close to her she thought about all the difficulties that would be inevitable in the days to come.