Chapter 30
Taskbearers: Their Tragedy and Triumph
Hermione awoke from the floor of the common room. She had lain there for hours, crying, until the tears dried on her cheeks and she had nothing else to do.
Her head ached terribly. She sat up and her eyes landed on something shiny. It was Sirius' necklace, the one he'd thrown off.
"You were a mistake."
The awful night flooded back to Hermione. Slowly, achingly, she lifted herself up. When she finally gathered the strength she stood to full height. She could hear a rustling; it was Sirius coming down from the dormitory.
Hermione knew she looked terrible; her eyes were bloodshot, her hair was matted, her face had dried tears.
Sirius was wearing clean clothes, and his hair was combed. If Hermione hadn't known any better she would have said he was fine. But he wasn't. One look into his eyes and she knew he wasn't all right. The light that she so loved seeing in his eyes was gone. It was a shock, because she had become accustomed to that light.
Hermione had been the light.
And she had been the one to cast it into oblivion.
They said nothing to each other for a while. Finally, Hermione asked him, "Where are you going?"
"Out," he replied brusquely.
"Oh." Hermione nodded. "I just wondered if maybe we could talk."
"Don't think there's much we can talk about," Sirius said shortly.
"There is. There's so much to say, Sirius, if you'll only listen to me."
"And hear what? How you didn't mean to kiss Severus? How you love me so much that it's tearing you up?"
Hermione didn't answer. That had been the gist of what she had wanted to say. "You're wondering how I knew what you were going to say," Sirius said. "I tell you, I've heard it SO many times before. Girls think they can shag someone else and I'll be okay with it. They think if they bat their eyes I'll forgive them. It doesn't work that way." "Sirius, if you'll only listen–"
"Be quiet!" he yelled. His rage, born from his grief, came out in full force. "YOU CANNOT RIP SOMEONE'S HEART OUT AND PRETEND IT'S ALL RIGHT! YOU CAN'T CRASH SOMEONE'S WORLD AND EXPECT FORGIVENESS! Hermione, I told you everything! I thought you cared!"
He thought for a moment. "You know, kissing Severus wasn't even the worst part of it. The worst part was all your lies. I believed in you so much. I believed you were something of a goddess, who could do no wrong. I guess my belief system was wrong, eh?"
Hermione's anger came out. "Come off it, Sirius! You are such a hypocrite. You act as if you never ever cheated on a girl. Come back to reality. You yourself told me alllll about your adventures with girls. You have no problem cheating on girls but you don't like it when they cheat on you? Do you see how hypocritical it is?"
"That was different."
"How?" Hermione challenged.
"BECAUSE I LOVED YOU!" Sirius roared. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT! I TRUSTED YOU!"
"Sirius, your track record is so much worse than mine–"
"I hate you. Don't compare us."
Hermione grew silent. The words were so ugly to hear and even uglier to say. She hadn't meant to hurt him at all.
"I never meant to do you wrong," Hermione said softly.
His voice grew soft as well. "That's what you did, though."
"Don't let it stand in our way," Hermione pleaded.
He gave a deep sigh. "It's always going to be in our way, Hermione. Always. I don't see how I could ever move past it. I just need to trust you.....but I can't."
They had reached a standstill.
Hermione wandered down the corridors for a long time, replaying the argument with Sirius. She hadn't meant all those ugly things. She thought she had hit rock bottom, but this was only the beginning.
She gazed outside the window. The rain had finally let go, and the Indian Summer was gone forever. It was pouring rain. It was Christmas. (Well, the day after)
What were Ron, Harry, and Ginny doing?
Their faces came into Hermione's mind. She imagined Harry playing in an impromptu Quidditch game with the twins, Ginny on Harry's team, scoring, Ron mastering the Wonky-Faint (she never did learn the proper name for it).
Oh, how she missed them! It never truly registered until now. She had been wrapped up in her life in the past when she had forgotten her life in the present. If she was at the Burrow celebrating Christmas she and Ginny would have been up late talking, then sneaking into the boys' room and whacking them with pillows. They'd have gone downstairs, opened their presents, amidst the warm comfort of the Burrow.....
Love. Hate. Longing. Sorrow. Passion. Regret.
The tears welled up inside her. Now they were not only for Sirius but for her friends.
Hermione's sobs must have gotten louder, for Dumbledore came our of his office.
"Miss Granger? Are you all right? Come inside," Dumbledore said, sounding concerned. Hermione didn't argue, but she did try to control her sobs.
The headmaster handed her a handkerchief, with his initals on it. She took it gratefully. "Is there anything you need to discuss?"
The dam in Hermione's heart broke loose. Out came the events of the night before, each word lessening her pain slightly.
"So you released Mrs. Snape from the perils of Mr. Snape, did you?"
"Yes. I've....I've been meaning to talk to you about that...."
"You think it was your task."
"Well, yes," Hermione confessed. "I did a noble thing, and that's what tasks entail, right? And I got the feeling that it was fate. So, based on these facts, that was my task. I...I'll have to go home." For the first time she was truly happy. She could go home to people who loved her, people whom she had not hurt.
"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said carefully. "What you did was noble. It was just. It took bravery. But it was not your task."
"Why?" Hermione cried. "Are you sure?"
"I am quite sure."
"But I was certain that it was my task."
"Were you truly certain? In your heart of hearts, did you really believe that was your task?"
No. No she wasn't. "No," she admitted.
"Well, then," Dumbledore said, settling back. "There you have it."
"So then I can't go home?" Hermione asked meekly.
"I'm afraid not. You know the rules. And the time turner will not work until the task is done."
"I thought time turners worked whenever they were needed."
"Not all of them," Dumbledore replied. "Special time turners, like yours, are made for taskbearers only. They only work when the task is completed." He pointed to a high shelf. Jauntily her time turner stood. It was prominent, and fit into a glass case seemingly made specially for it. As she looked more closely, she saw 'HG' etched onto the time turner, as well as the word 'Taskbearer.'
"You mean there are more taskbearers out there?" Hermione asked.
Dumbledore laughed. "Oh, my yes. For centuries. Taskbearers have been around since the beginning of time. Some even go back to the beginning of time to complete a task."
"How are they like? Did they all complete their tasks?" Hermione asked.
"I think you'll find this very interesting," Dumbledore said. He pulled a green book from a drawer. It was called Taskbearers: Their Tragedy and Triumph." It was written by Eustace St. James.
It was a treasure. Hermione turned the pages carefully. In it were detailed accounts of all the taskbearers of the age. Their stories, their tasks, their lives.
"In all my years," Dumbledore said, "I've only known one other taskbearer besides you."
"Who?" Hermione asked curiously. She would love to speak with the person.
"Me," Dumbledore replied simply.
"Oh!" Hermione cried. "What was your task?"
Dumbledore smiled slightly. "It's in the book. Taskbearers are very special people, Hermione. They are brave and strong. They do not know what it expected of them, but when they do, they come through. They must have the courage to live in another time and have the will to go on when they must return home."
"I can't imagine going home," Hermione muttered. It was true. While she missed her friends, the thought of leaving Sirius was unbearable. She needed to see him every day, even if he hated her. She needed him near.
"I just want to say, Miss Granger, that you have a difficult road ahead of you. I hope the book will make you feel as if you are not alone."
Hermione hugged the book tightly. "I am not alone anymore."
Sirius stared at a picture he'd taken of Hermione. Her huge grin matched his as they sat in front of the lake hugging.
The feelings had been so real, more real than anything he had ever experienced.
He felt in his heart that Hermione had not wanted to lie to him.
He wanted to forgive her. In spite of everything she'd done, he loved her. And so he wanted to forget.
Or at least listen to what she had to say.
Hermione returned to an empty common room. She stopped briefly in front of the Christmas tree and her eyes landed on a lone gift sitting underneath it.
Already aware of the present and who it was for, Hermione picked it up. It was her gift for Severus. She didn't want to keep it, nor did she believe that he wanted it either.
She decided to try and repair the frayed relationship. It was worth a try.
Hermione left the common room. It took some doing, but she managed to find Severus, sitting outside the Great Hall.
He didn't want to see her. "Go away," he said brusquely.
But Hermione was far too used to words of anger. "I know you don't want to see me, Severus. But I thought you would want your Christmas gift anyway." She held it out in front of him.
Severus looked hesitant. "Come on," Hermione urged. "I have no use for it. It's yours." Finally, he took it and unwrapped it. It was the abstract painting of Hogwarts that he had admired so long ago.
"You were the only one who understood it," Hermione said. "So it's fitting it should be yours."
Severus looked as if he were on the verge of a smile. "I was, wasn't I? Black probably thought it was a bunch of smudges."
Hermione's smile vanished quickly. "Severus, if we are going to be friends again I can't allow you to talk that way about him. I love him and I won't hear anything bad about him." Severus nodded grimly. Because he loved her, he dropped the subject. "The red here represents the vivacity, right?"
Hermione managed a smile. "Yes, and the yellow is light." They spent an hour poring over the painting. Her smile, always prominent when she spoke of art, grew.
Her smile vanished as she saw an incredulous Sirius standing before them.
All of you who have been reading without reviewing, please review! You know I love you but I'd love you even more if you reviewed....
Disneydoll0424 don't be mad at hermione. She saw love, and she didn't walk away from it. She walked to it with open arms. that's rather touching. Katami thanks! But there are some other really good SB/Hrs out there! Luna Gypsy i bet you feel worse now, huh? toriisen thanks!!!!!!! hugs! fuzzfurry i am glad! Should i do more like those? siriusly luvin it that's your name, ok? Sirius rocks, POA rocked! Did you catch that lil Sirius/hermione moment? auditoriumnazi thanks! Do you like it when authors triple-update? Moony's Angel glad i am keepin' you happy! I think i want to be my own author, though. :) though i love JKR. And if you think about it, hermione really taught herself to dance. Though it could go both ways. NellasLissesul thanks for the info! Actually, i don't want to give anything away about the ending. I'm hoping to have all of you guessing. And you don't want it spoiled for you, do you? I'll totally read yours. I am just like you though! This is my first fic too. imogenhm yep, sad! But good, right? Sparrowgurl66 yes, we must make sirius, the hogwarts god, happy! Poor him. fanfictionworm thank you, thank you! Darkness-Fades-DTWC slash, eh? I should get into those, they seem intriguing. I am honored, btw. BlAcKmAlFoY yes, i know:( it'll get better, though. Mittens thanks! I've really been trying to dig deep to find some realism, glad to see it's working! How long did it take you to read all this? daniel-radcliffes-girl thanks! Dan is cool, huh? Holly Clearwater actually, i am thinking it's going to be longer. Who knows:) SugarGirl never fear–i won't abandon this story, promise. Angelic Delirium well, now you know what's happening. Not so great, is it? HarryPassionFan you'll find out about the pic later :) Irish Lemon wow! Thanks for all the reviews! Keep it up, won't you? ZippyRox what'd you think of the rest of the story? Lala-the-Panda love your name! Gabriela13 i never thought of sirius and hermione before, till my beta turned me on to them. They fit together well, don't you think? HyperOnCookies my eyes watered too, because i was listening to sirius and hermione's song at the time :( POA rocks! There's even a little Sirius/Hermione moment! It's totally worth it. missjackiesparrow i did see it, it rocked! Did you see the little sirius/hermione snippet thanks! isnani i saw your blog (I'm not a stalker, just curious) and you mentioned ME! Wow! Thanks! Anywhoo, next time i do another present-time Sirius/hermione chapter it'll be for you, ok? It'll be coming up soon. darkness-knight if you think about it, hermione taught herself to dance–or did sirius teach himself? Ugh. Complicated. SiLvErFaTeD thanks! Abby made your soul soar? Really? Thanks so much! Fire Arrow what a great idea about the OotP. I am gonna discuss it with my beta and get back to you, ok? Oh, and i am glad that, out of all the SB/HG fics out there ,you picked MINE! Thanks! skittish see A/N about Indian summer. Thanks! Dark-Raven04 i updated a whole week early, happy? :) element6 yes, isn't it sad! BlackWiltedRose welcome back! I desperately want her to be with sirius as well, so never fear. RP Weasley you'll see! WILLOW I want to join! Totally! Uhhh...what's half term? I'm American, hehe. But i am glad you keep me on my toes with Briticisms (gawd I can't even spell it).Anyway, I saw that HP dude on your site–you are right! He's hot! WHAT IS HIS NAME? Maybe it's michael corner, Ginny's boyfriend.....I'm almost sad she dumped him! (Not really, I love H/G) Update your story! Rane2920072 yes, they know what the task is. :) of course they do. Kaori7395 yes it does give hope. They are fighting now but you gotta wonder what happened between them. AkiraDruid316 why thank you! did you ever finish the story? Nadine thank you soooo much! Elizabeth Patil i think you'll all like the ending. leo-sol yep, unrealistic. But the key is finding the realistic in the unrealistic. If that makes sense. Li-chan yes, it looks very good for them doesn't it! Jade The Fairyness ta ta! Hope you like it! Tori shoot! Naomi and i missed the dumbledore thing. Well, can't change it now:( thanks though! Cybeleflame i bet this is even sadder, huh? Hippie1212 12:30! Jeez! Well i am glad that you stayed up reading mine and not anyone else's! :) P. Marshmallow gracias! pamela hugs! I am glad you decided to review! Reviews are very appreciated! Please continue! Amanda thank you!!!! seen POA yet? yoblossom you'll find out about the pic later, promise! tsk tsk thanks!!! yoshido OKAY! THANK YOU! BLESS YOU! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER! Lol you wrote in caps so i decided to do it too. Lindsey oh don't cry! Oh, wait, cry. That means you like my story! And don't ever spin n a chair and then eat....ugh.