Chapter 14

For Good

As Abby helped Adrian into his high chair she couldn't help but replay what she had heard outside. How could Lucy let it get this bad? How could she let them call her mommy when she wasn't? Abby wasn't sure how Carter would react and she didn't want to think about it now.

John sat at the head of the table with a son on either side of him. The rest of his family as well as his ER co-workers were spread out in front of him. On the table were heaping mounds of meat, potatoes, vegetables, and other assortments of food that Carol, Chunni, Liz, and Lucy had been hard at work at this morning.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Doug said getting to his feet and raising his wine glass. "To Carter for getting through this tragedy with much courage and little resentment. Welcome back John." A murmur of 'welcome back' was heard around the table as glass clinked together.

"Thanks a lot you guys. I couldn't have done it without all of your care and support," John said. Everyone dug into the meal in front of them as a friendly chatter rose from the table.

"I told you the Bears would murder the Redskins tonight. 47 to 7," Doug whistled. "Yeah yeah yeah," Peter muttered as he put some more potatoes on to his plate.

"You up for a super bowl party at our house next Sunday?" Doug turned to Carter expectantly. Carol elbowed Doug in the ribs.

"How about checking with the wife first?" she smiled.

"Oh yeah. If it's okay with my darling wife Carol Ross," Doug said reaching for Carol's hand. She smiled.

"Sure you can have a super bowl party honey. But only if we can tie Malucci up to a tree in the front yard," Carol said nodding to Dave.

"Okay Abs. I think I got it. Defense is against offense and offense is against defense," Dave said proudly waiting for praise from Abby. She smiled.

"Well technically defense is the unit that is responsible for keeping the opposition out of their end zone and offense is the team who has possession of the football and attempts to advance it toward the defenses goal line. But you do have a point, they are against each other," Abby said ruffling Dave's hair.

"Do I get a cookie?" Dave asked.

"Cookie," Gabriel agreed.

"I want a cookie too," Amanda whined tugging at Carol's arm.

"Yeah me too Mommy," Jamie said from next to Doug.

"See what you start?" Carol asked Dave.

"Hey Abby do you want to come to our super bowl party?" Doug asked having been impressed early and equally as impressed now with her understanding of football.

"Sure," Abby said. "As long as I don't have to put up with him." She shot a look at Dave.

"I say you give Abby three football terms and if she can't explain them then she shouldn't be able to come," Romano piped up.

"Okay. You up for it Abby?" Doug asked.

"It doesn't matter what you say Abby you know your always welcome," Carol whispered loud enough for Romano and Doug to hear.

"I'm ready," Abby said.

"Hey since when did dinner become football jeopardy?" Dave asked.

"Hey since when did dinner become opportunity village?" Romano countered. Dave was quiet after that.

"Alright Abby. What's an offensive backfield?" Doug asked.

"The area of the field, or the players lined up behind the offensive linemen," Abby said promptly.

"What about a bowl game?" Romano asked smiling to himself knowing there was no way Abby could get this one.

"College football games played after the regular season," Abby smiled sweetly at Romano.

"Oooo. Burn," Dave smiled obviously satisfied with the fact that Abby had just left Romano in his own state of shock.

"Okay Abby. Here's a tougher one. What's encroachment mean?" Benton asked.

Abby sighed. "Can't you guys come up with anything better? It's a foul in which a defender makes contact with a member of the offense before the snap."

"How do you know all this?" Doug asked.

"Are you kidding? I didn't miss a game of Eric's stupid junior football in elementary, junior high, or high school and I wrote a dictionary of football terms for extra credit in PE in 7th grade," Abby said.

"I'm just going out on a limb here but I think you're invited," Randi said.

"Doug was just kidding. All of you who don't have to work next Sunday can come too. And even if you do you can stop by after your shift," Carol said. Dave groaned.

"Attendance isn't mandatory is it?" he asked. Soon conversation returned to the real topic at hand. Carter returning to County.

"Are you nervous at all about coming back?" Chunni asked.

"I'm pretty anxious to get back," Carter replied. Everyone was quiet for a while the only sounds coming from the clink of forks on plates and Gabe who was banging his plastic spoon happily against his high chair.

"Mommy down," he said wriggling in his chair. "Mommy down pease," he repeated reaching for Lucy who was seated next to him. Lucy got up quickly and took Gabriel into the living room without saying anything. Abby got up and followed her.

Gabriel played on the floor with some of his hot wheels while Lucy sat on the couch holding back tears. Abby sat down next to her and for a minute neither said anything.

"I knew it would happen," Lucy whispered finally. "But I had hoped it would happen when we were alone with the kids. That one of them would say it and he would understand."

"It's okay Lucy," Abby whispered as she put her arm around her friends shoulder. Tears now dripped down Lucy's face.

"What if he's upset?" she whispered. "What if he's offended and doesn't want me around anymore?"

"Momma sad?" Gabriel questioned innocently using her knee to pull himself up.

Lucy didn't say anything to the little boy who obviously had plenty of adoration for her.

"Baba?" Gabe turned to Abby expectantly. She rested her hand gently on his head.

"This isn't good," Lucy said wiping away more tears with the bottom of her wrist. A pained silence fell over the room.

"Luce," a voice came from behind them. Abby and Lucy turned and saw John and Chunni standing by the doorway.

"Abby, Gabey," Chunni nodded her head for them to follow her. Abby picked up the little boy in her arms and silently followed Chunni out of the living room. John silently took a seat next to Lucy on the couch. Neither one of them said anything for a long time. John rested his hand gently on Lucy's back and she jumped.

"Luce," he repeated. Lucy was kneading her knuckles into her knee, something John knew, she did when she was under extreme distress. "I want you to know that I'm not upset." Lucy turned her sad eyes up at John.

"Your not?" she whispered.

"No," he said. "If anything...I'm happy that Gabriel would recognize you as his mother. Sure I was shocked at first. I mean I would have liked him to have been able to call Jessica mommy but you and I both know that's not ever going happen no matter how much we want it to." He was making gently circles on Lucy's back as he talked and after a while she began to relax. They sat in silence for a while until Lucy broke down into tears.

"I'm so sorry John. I'm so sorry," she cried. He took her into his arms and sighed into her dirty blonde hair. Then he did something Lucy had been doing to him almost every night since the accident. He gently began to rock her and hummed the first thing that popped into his head.

"It's all going to be okay my Luce. I'm very happy that Gabe called you mommy do you want to know why?" he whispered. He felt her nod against his chest.

"There are things...that I imagined Jessica doing with the kids. The regular mother things. When she died all of those images stayed in my mind but over time it wasn't Jessica doing those things anymore Lucy. It was you. When I watched you and Ruthie playing outside in the snow together the other day. I don't think I've ever seen Ruthie laugh more in my entire life. She was just having such a great time with you. Things like that I have seen occur and it makes me feel so good. When you help Gabriel and Adrian put on a war between Gabriel's army soldiers and Adrian's G.I. Joes, when you read to the triplets, when you go shopping with Paige, when you and Ruthie make cookies, when you and Julia play and giggle together it makes me happy Lucy."

He paused for a while to stroke her hair.

"You make me so happy," he whispered. "I want you to stay here with us. For good."