Summary – Ever wondered how Shinobi's get their skills?
Author notes – that Naruto does not belong to her and that she does not make any economic benefit from this fanfic. Also, it is not a good idea to think about Naruto at 3 am in the morning, or funny ideas like these will come up.
Author's notes – I was just musing about this idea of Shinobi's buying their skills from a store and I just decided to see how it would turn out. Unfortunately, it is warped beyond recognition, surely I didn't write this?
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The store keeper was happy, happy and rich. His store didn't have very many customers, since it was relatively unknown, and his customers never spread word of the shop around, but he was still rich. His store was called 'Shinobi skills', corny, but definitely true, considering what he sold in his store.
For example, every few years or so, a member of the Uchiha clan would wander into his shop, with a new-born baby. And they always bought the same thing. Rather interesting invention of his, real money-maker too. It was called the 'Sharingan', a kind of mechanic voice activated contact lens that could change designs. The sensor was designed to recognize certain voice vibrations, which would cause it to activate when the user was angry. The Sharingan had many powers, but most of its power came from the freaky 'I-have-things-in-my-eye' look. He was proud of it.
Another of his best selling products, the Byakugan, was only bought by the Hyuugas. It was a sort of replacement eyeball that some people used to see through things and sense things. The degree of power was decided by the person himself, before the beginning of the transplant, and it could not be changed after that. It was wired to a person's brain with fiber optic and metal wires, which were very sensitive to heat. Since a large amount of heat would be generated when the Byakugan was switched on, the metal in the wires would expand, causing the user to look as if he had veins appearing around his eyes. Of course, there was once this pervert, Kakashi, was it? He had wanted to get a Byakugan so that he could go and 'look' at people, unfortunately, the order was mixed up and he ended up with a Sharingan instead.
There was also the 'instant-have-a-demon-sealed-in-you-soup', which was very tasty, and not to mention the bonus! Imagine! A demon sealed in you! Good for spooking little children and telling ghost stories. To date, there have only been two customers, and he had heard that it was working quite well indeed. Well, actually, there were three people who purchased it, the last one his idiot cousin from Akatsuki, but he had accidentally bought an expired packet and ended up dead due to food poisoning.
Then he also had the 'super stretchable tongue' item. Very powerful, guaranteed to be able to stretch up to more than 25 meters long! Even better, a hidden weapon stored inside, you a choice between sword, replaceable needles and rubber ducky. Since the thing itself was latex, having it chopped off would not hurt either.
Yup, he was rich. Very rich. He sighed contentedly as he put up an advertisement outside his shop.
Shinobi Skills – Looking for some super Shinobi power, or just feeling bored? Whatever you need, Shinobi Skills has! Want to be able to hide bugs in your body? To be able to read peoples minds? We have it all! We also offer cheap haircuts, eyebrow plucking services(1), manicures and make-up services! Want to be a Shinobi? Come in to Shinobi Skills! Guaranteed to have anything a Shinobi needs!
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Author's notes
(1) Though this is aimed at Gai-sensei and Rock Lee, please don't mistake my meaning, I have nothing against the two of them (quite the contrary actually), but I think they have impressive eyebrows though.