Fic Off

Chapter 3: The Curse Of The Two-Day Rental

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, any movie or video store. This is purely for amusement.

Summary: Vash rented a new release video two days ago, and it's due at noon or else he gets a late fee. Can the Trigun gang get to the video store in time?

Warning: Rated for crude humor, language.

Qualifications-

Sentences:

1) "It's brand spankin' new."

2) "I was assaulted by the DVDs!"

3) "Give me a reason not to set you on fire."

4) "Ich bin ein berlina." (German for 'I am a donut.')

Scenes:

1) Someone popps ALL the popcorn in videostore.

2) Someone chews on a pen and it breaks.

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"Oh no!" Vash screamed at the top of his lungs as he hopped around frantically tugging his blonde hair.

Wolfwood, half asleep, glared at the humanoid typhoon, "What is wrong with you, needle noggin?"

Vash pointed at the box for the video 'The Last Samurai'. "I rented this two days ago! It's due at noon!" He glanced at a nearby clock, "And it's eight thirty!"

Milly gasped as she munched on some toast, "You'll get a late fee!"

Meryl looked shocked, "And then the Bernardelly Insurance Company will be held responsible! We can't have that!" She stood up, snatching the video and tossing it at Wolfwood. "Mr. Wolfwood, you are a responsible man, you make sure Vash gets this to the videostore in time."

Wolfwood glanced at the video box in his hands, "Okay, let's go." He tumbled out of his bed, tugging on a shirt.

Meryl, deciding she should stay and watch their rooms, waved farewell as the three rushed out the door.

Wolfwood, chewing on a red pen in a habit of anxiety, started up the car as Vash and Milly hopped in. The engine roared to life, stuttered, and died. Wolfwood cursed loudly, kicking the good-for-nothing car and calling it a spawn of Satan.

Vash examined the car in confusion, "But, it's brand spankin' new! How could it just die like that?"

Milly shrugged, "Maybe we didn't give it enough pudding."

Wolfwood ignored the pair, he was far too busy arguing with the inanimate object, "You damned useless piece of junk! Give me a reason not to set you on fire!" With another aggrivated kick, the priest stomped off down the road.

"Wait for us, Mr. Priest!" Milly called, following Wolfwood.

Vash sighed, easily catching up to them with his long, leisurely strides.

The trio traveled for a good couple miles without any real events. But all of a sudden, Legato was standing in their path.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Legato asked, glaring at the group.

Wolfwood sighed in frustration, "Get out of our way, Blue-y, we need to get to the video store before noon to return a movie!"

Legato narrowed his golden eyes, "What movie?"

Milly grinned, "The Last Samurai."

The blue haired villian smiled slightly, "That was a great movie. I'm actually headed to the video store as well."

Vash, not wanting any trouble, continued on this friendly topic, "What do you plan on getting?"

"I heard 'The Perfect Score' was good." Legato replied.

Wolfwood glanced at his watch, "Ack! It's already 10! We need to get going." He immediately started walking, Milly and Vash behind him.

Legato stood in place for a moment before quickly following after them--after all, it is more fun walking to the store when you have company.

Again, more uneventful miles. But then, as the group made their way through a very narrow canyon, a large cow appeared blocking their way.

The group tried to push the cow out of their way, but it weighed about five tons.

Becoming frustrated, Vash started ranting in German, "Ich bin ein berlina!"

The cow looked at the tall blonde, "Guten tag."

Wolfwood, Milly and Legato went wide eyed, since when did cows speak, and how did it know German!?

Vash laughed, "Hey, I like this cow!" He said something in German to the animal. It nodded and stepped to one side, allowing the group to pass.

Wolfwood scratched his head, "What did you say to that walking burger?"

The humanoid typhoon grinned, "I asked it if it would be kind enough to move, then I would bring it back some pixie sticks." He suddenly stopped walking and stared at Wolfwood.

The priest frowned, "What are you looking at!?"

Legato began to laugh, pointing at Wolfwood, "You have something red dripping out of your mouth!"

Milly gasped, "I didn't know you were a vampire!"

Wolfwood wiped at his mouth, scowling as he saw red ink on his shirt sleeve, "Damn pen! It must have broken while I was chewing it." He cursed, throwing the pen.

Before anyone else could bug Wolfwood about his ink covered chin, Vash saw the video store. "We're finally here!" He glanced at Wolfwood's watch, "And it's eleven fifty-nine!" He snatched the video box from the priest and raced for the drop box.

Milly counted the remaining time, biting her lower lip.

Ten seconds left, and Vash was still running. Five seconds, almost there. Three, two, one! Vash knew he wouldn't make it there by running, so he threw the box into the air, firing one bullet at it. As the clock changed to twelve, the box crashed through the store wall.

Wolfwood, Milly and Legato cheered as Vash sat on the ground panting.

"I almost didn't make it!" Vash gasped, being helped to his feet by Wolfwood.

Legato held the door open for his three enemies-turned-companions. As the four entered the store, they stared in awe at the huge array of movies.

Milly immediately raced for the snack stand, Wolfwood went to find some new movies with his favorite actresses, Legato went to the New Releases section, and Vash slowly strolled up and down the aisles.

Screams from the snack bar forced Vash and Legato to investigate. Clerks and customers were running as fast as they could away from Milly. The large girl was dancing in a pile of popcorn, every single bucket was empty of kernels and the popcorn machine was still overflowing with the buttery snacks.

"Whee! The pop 'n corn likes me!" Milly called, throwing armfuls of popcorn into the air.

Wolfwood suddenly appeared beside Vash looking violated.

"Where were you when the screaming started?" Vash asked, eyeing the priest.

"I got held up," Wolfwood replied, eleborating when he got confused looks from Legato and Vash, "I was assaulted by the DVDs!"

Legato winced, "That's a horrible fate. DVDs are extremely dangerous." He nodded wisely.

Vash, after pulling Milly out of the popcorn sea, held up a video box, "I got a movie, let's go."

Wolfwood, being careful to steer clear of the DVD racks, followed as Vash walked to the check-out counter.

Milly was forced to wait outside. Wolfwood went to accompany her and keep her entertained.

As Vash paid the rental fee, Legato stepped up to the counter with 'The Perfect Score' in his hand.

The blonde frowned slightly, "I wouldn't get that, if I were you."

"Why not?" Legato asked, looking offended.

"Well, it's a two day rental, you'll suffer the consequences of the Curse of the Two Day Rental," Vash explained.

Legato narrowed his eyes, "I know quite well what I am doing. I do not need your useless advise."

Vash shrugged, "Just trying to be helpful. Not my fault if you'll be an idiot."

All of a sudden, the store clerk went blank-eyed and aimed a gun at Vash's head. The blonde ducked the bullet just in time.

Legato continued controlling the minds of the store employees, chasing Vash out of the store. With a smug smirk, Legato used his mind control powers to check out all the movies for free, and take all the snack foods he wished, no charge.

Vash, Wolfwood and Milly returned home to find the reciept to 'The Last Samurai'. It had been due the day before, and thus, the Curse of the Two Day Rental continues, because no matter how hard you try, you cannot return the movie on time!

===========================Zeh end!

A/N: I did this as a "Fic Off" (Lol...fic off...) with my sister. The qualifications were a few sentences, two scenes, and it had to be done in an hour. Read my sister's under the pen name "Sango5", it's titled "Fic Off". XP I hope you liked it, please review!!!

Another A/N: The Curse of the Two Day Rental is our family curse, no matter how hard we try, we can never return movies on time. And now, the whole world has been warned of this cruel curse!...or at least those that actually read this.