Here's the next one!
When Lily awoke, she was in the hospital wing, Kristiina on one side, Karissa on the other. Her memory slowly came back to her as she remembered what she believed to be the previous night. Karissa stirred next to her and Lily turned her slightly misty green eyes to her. When Karissa's eyes met Lily's, she turned them away.
"Don't be like that Karissa," Lily whispered, but Karissa didn't turn back. "You couldn't have controlled what you did."
"I knew I was different," came Karissa's quiet voice.
"It doesn't change the fact that you couldn't control that magic. Kristiina's had it rough, I realize that now, and you didn't know any better."
"I should have." The anger and truth that those words were spoken in made Lily recoil slightly.
"I should have known that my resentment of Kristiina would turn me against her, I should have known that my hatred towards my parents for lecturing me on keeping Kristiina safe would turn me against the school and every one in it, but I didn't. The thought never even crossed my mind throughout the year. I never even suspected that I would end up hurting my sister or you. I never thought I'd see you both here because of me."
"But was it you that necessarily used the magic?" Karissa finally turned her eyes back to Lily.
"What?" Lily sighed.
"When Kristiina woke up you were terrified. Why?"
"Because I thought she'd start blaming everything on me too."
"Why?"
"I automatically thought of the worst case scenario?"
"What if it wasn't you, per say, that thought of it?"
"You mean I was possessed?"
"If that's the way you'd like to think about it." There was a comfortable silence for a few moments.
"So I guess every one is going to hate me now, huh?" Lily contemplated the question for a few minutes.
"Some people might be scared of you, yes, but it really wasn't your fault. No one can place blame on some one who technically didn't do anything."
"But it was –"
"Your anger? Your resentment? Yes, it was, but did you take advantage of that anger or resentment? No. You were a puppet in some one else's plan."
"I hurt my friends." Lily sighed softly.
"Sometimes we do things that we don't mean to do. Sometimes our actions come across differently than we really want them to. Either way you think about it, it still isn't your fault. Misinterpretations aren't any one's fault. They need to be sorted out and then people need to move on."
"I'm sorry Lily," Karissa whispered. Lily smiled weakly.
"It's over now, and that's what matters," Lily whispered back before Madam Pomfrey returned to check on them.
Kristiina was still in the Hospital Wing when Lily and Karissa got out and that didn't help Karissa's opinion of herself. She still believed that it was entirely her fault that Kristiina was in the hospital wing to begin with. Lily was sick of trying to tell Karissa it wasn't her fault, so, when the two girls entered the head's rooms and found Lucy, Tanice, Alaura, Sirius, Remus and James there, Lily asked them.
"Is it Karissa's fault that Kristiina's in the Hospital Wing?" The frustration was evident in her voice as everybody else stared, stunned at Karissa.
"How can you even believe it's your fault? You didn't have control over that stuff." Alaura said.
"I should have stopped the emotions, I should have told some one."
"The past is in the past and there's nothing you can do to change it," Lia responded in her quiet way. Karissa sighed heavily, the breath laced with regret.
"I still –" she paused, looking for the right way to express the multitude of conflicting emotions running through her. Alaura stood, her eyes locking with Karissa's.
"When Tanice lost consciousness last year, I thought it was my fault. I didn't watch over her well enough, or I didn't teach her to be careful enough. I felt generally useless and blamed it all on myself. But I realized something." Alaura had Karissa's full attention now and as Lily watched, she could tell that Karissa was considering all that Alaura said.
"I realized that even though I couldn't help her, at the end of the day, whether it was my fault or not, she's still my sister, ya know? Even if you can't do anything you wish you could to help them, they still love you, and maybe, or possibly, your love of them is enough to bring them back, healthy and safe again." Lily smiled faintly at her best friend and at the deep thought she seemed to have put into that little speech.
"Karissa, you need to believe that it wasn't your fault, that you had nothing to do with your sister's current catatonic state. Kristiina has been in that Hospital Wing more times than we can count, and it has usually been for something that has happened outside of family life. You also need to consider the fact that you cannot go back in time without risking everything you know. The past has happened, and there is something each one of us in this room wishes we had done or not done; an opportunity, which we wish we had or had not taken. But the barest of facts is that we all love each other, and regardless of the stupid decisions we've made we're still friends, some of us more than that." Lia's voice was calm, collected, and Karissa sighed once again.
"But I believe the person you really need to hear all of this from is me, am I right?" Kristiina stood in the portrait frame, looking around the room. Her eyes were slightly duller than usual, but there was the pink tinge in her cheeks that had been absent through out her unconsciousness.
"How many times does it need to be said that it was in no way your fault? Lily has explained it bluntly, Alaura related it to her own experience, and Lia told you calmly. Do you need to hear that I don't blame you? Do you need to hear that I wish I was more careful? Do I need to say that this is my fault?"
"But –"
"There was so much I should have told you, Karissa, so much about this world that I should have helped you understand. I didn't. This whole incident, therefore, is my fault. Not yours, not Lily's, not any one else's."
"And that is more than enough blaming for one day, Kristiina," Lily broke in. "My idea and executive decision is that we blame this on the thing that possessed Karissa in the first place. It took advantage of her and that is that."
"I second that," James said, his voice sounding slightly exhausted. "I have heard more than enough of you ladies going on and on about whose fault it is. Enough. Karissa, Lucy, Tanice, Kristiina, back to your dorm rooms please. Lils, you and I are late for patrol."
"And we all know how much patrolling actually gets done between them," Sirius taunted. Lily blushed bright crimson.
"We should be getting to bed any way," Lia said, dragging Alaura to her feet. "I know Alaura has a prank she needs to plan or something." Alaura, who's mouth had been opened to issue an indignant response closed it again realized what Lia meant.
"Right. We'll leave you two alone. After all, poor Jamsie's been deprived since Lily's stay in the Hospital Wing," Sirius said, pasting an innocent smile on his face. Lia and Remus were the last to go, promising to get every one up to their rooms safely and without having to double back for any one. This left Lily and James alone.
"I don't know if I feel like patrolling any more," James whispered into Lily's ear, wrapping his arms around her somewhat slimmer waist, but Lily had too much on her mind to think about what James wanted to do at that moment. She broke away from him, moving instead to sit on one of the crimson couches by the empty fireplace. She pinched the bridge of her nose slightly, a movement that automatically told James that she was stressed.
"What's wrong Lil?" he asked coming to stand behind her, and the couch. His hand rested on her shoulders, moving in slight circles. Lily's eyes fell closed, a mixture of the beautiful stress relief James' hands were providing and to block out the suddenly harsh light.
"I'm probably really behind, James. How am I going to get all caught up? Especially with the NEWTs coming up soon–" James moved his hand slowly down to her shoulder blades, taking a moment to work out the knots.
"You'll do it. I know you will." He moved, sitting behind her so she was between his legs, his front to her back. His hands moved down to the lower section of her back and under her emerald long sleeved shirt. Lily almost groaned with the blissful feeling flowing through her body.
"Relaxed yet?" His voice was husky, lower than usual, and Lily's body responded.
"Mm, not quite," she answered, her voice quiet. James quickly lifted her shirt over her head and pulled the elastic band out of her hair, letting the soft fiery strands to cascade down her back. He brushed those aside, laying butterfly kisses on the back of her neck and upper back. His hands continued to kneed the skin of her lower back, just above the line of her skirt.
"Now?" Lily tried to focus on what the conversation was about but the haze of desire was already starting to overwhelm her senses.
"Getting closer," she managed. James' hands moved around to her stomach and he pulled her flush against him. His kisses moved from the back of her neck to the side, up to the lobe of her ear.
"How am I doing?" Lily had lost her ability to speak and so, in response, moaned softly. James carefully picked her up and carried her to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Lily woke up hours later, snuggled into James' arms. All thought had been completely wiped from her mind because of her last, rather tiring, activities. She had to admit, however, James was very good at getting her to relax. She turned over looking over at his bedside table and noticing the muggle alarm clock perched there. She squealed slightly, waking the slumbering man beside her.
"Lil? What's the matter?"
"Its almost ten! We're late." From what Lily could remember the night of Karissa's possession had been a Tuesday. Which put them at a Thursday now.
"Lil, its Saturday," James replied tightening his arms around her and confining her body against his.
"What?" This only made Lily panic more.
"You were out for just over two weeks, love. Its Saturday now," James answered calmly. Lily sighed heavily.
"I've missed so much."
"Not really. There wasn't anything that you probably couldn't learn from a book. Any way, if I know you, you'll catch up very quickly."
It was true. Lily caught up much faster than she had anticipated. The memories of her Hospital Wing adventure pushed to the back of her mind in lieu of her studies. NEWTs had come and gone and the only thing left, was graduation.
Thanks to every one who reviewed the last two chapters. There's one more chapter that is for sure left but another might follow to set of the next ordered story. I hope you enjoy this and it organized every thing that's happened.
One thing I would like to ask is that when you review this, that you tell me what you like or dislike and not just if you liked it or not. Or, if you find something confusing, give me a suggestion as to how I might be able to straighten it out.
Thanks!
Kavi Leighanna