Thanks to all those who have or will review to this, and I hope you do like it.
Spike will critique at the end and tell you what he thought of this chapter.
By that time, the sun had started coming up so I was stranded at his house. When nighttime came, you could bet I was at the hospital.
"Xander Harris, where is he?" I demanded of the front desk.
"Down the hall and to the left."
I gave a quick nod and flew down the hall, but it was obvious which room he was in. Buffy, Willow, and Oz stood outside of it.
"How is he?" I asked.
They gave me bloody damned looks.
"Why do you people keep doing that?!" I exploded, "I just want to know how the bloody wanker's doing! Is that so bloody damn ass wrong?"
"Ok, Spike, sheesh, chill," Buffy said. "He's doing well, they had to give him air, but he's doing good."
"His parents are in there now," Willow added. "They asked if they could be alone with him for now."
"Over the day, he coughed so hard, he made himself throw up, and the second time..." Oz trailed off.
"What?" I said, showing my fear.
"They said he was too young."
"What?!"
Oz was scary-solemn as he said, "Xand gave himself a heart attack."
"Come again?"
"You heard me." He was as badly shaken about this as I or the girls there were.
"He's alright now," Willow said comfortingly. "He's unconscious right now, but he'll be okay."
I looked at her and said, "How in the bloody hell is it going to be 'alright'?"
"Um....he'll--he'll wake up."
'Yeah, sure,' I thought.
Over the course of weeks, I sat in that very room with the blinds drawn, watching as the unconscious boy deteriorated. I mean, I could have been doing something other than that, for instance, feed, sleep, you know, even possibly taking my revenge on those wankers that put him in there in the first place, you know, the usual. But two reasons kept me there. One, I had promised Buffy, and two, I sort of wanted to stay there. Also, that promise I had made Xander a while ago. A thin, clear plastic tube had been placed around his head and two tubes connecting to that one had been put up his nose to feed him the oxygen he needed to keep his breathing as unstressed as possible.
I saw his hand move slightly and I looked into his waking face.
He looked as though he were in a lot of pain, very ragged and very exhausted. He looked over at me and said, "Hey, Spike," in his old way that would used to bug the hell out of me. A loud, whooping cough escaped him as he grabbed a Kleenex and held it against his mouth, ready for the ruby red to come. He sighed.
I had never really seen him that depressed. That bite must be really taking its toll on him.
"You alright there?" I asked.
He closed his eyes and put his head on the pillow behind him. "Only if you think barely having the strength to lift a finger, not being able to eat or drink, and feeling like your head is being continuously bashed into a concrete/brick/lead combo wall as being 'alright', then yeah, I'm just dandy." There was a bit of an un-Xander like bite to his voice.
"Listen here, lovely, you may not know it, but those who run those cosmos up there might have something bigger for you in stored than death."
"Yes, like being a walking corpse for all of eternity?"
"You don't have to get snippy; besides I know some great vamps, granted myself's included."
He gave me a very un-Xander like look, shook his head and said, "Sorry, it's just the whole bite-and-die thing's got me down."
"Not much different than a vampire," I told him. He smiled at this. I continued, "There's the Xander Harris smile."
His grin got wider, and I think I got a laugh out of him.
"You could sit up on the bed with me if you want," he said, his eyes begging, "Please."
"Only if you want me to," I said as I sat by his side.
Every now and then, as we talked, he would let out a struggled cough.
I just looked at him and contemplated what to do next.
"One more thing," Xand said, looking sheepishly at me.
"Okay," I agreed hesitantly.
"Kiss me if you like me."
"What?"
"Kiss me if you like me."
"I can't."
"Oh," he said disappointedly, "Okay."
"I don't like you; I-" I took a deep breath in and took the plunge. "I love you," I finished slowly.
He gave a surprised cough, almost choke-like, and I was afraid he'd get another heart attack or worse. When he recovered, he said, "Oh," rather shocked. He saw my look and gave me a soft wink and fell asleep.
It was horrible watching a once strong and healthy man deteriorate at such a fast rate that he was barely more than skin and bone. His skin was paler than what it had been before. Basically, if a white wax sculpture face could sweat, that's what he looked like. I was afraid of even touching his hand because I thought I might break it. In short, he was really a shadow of what he had once been.
This night in particular gave me quite a fright, not enough to wet the ole knickers but you get the idea.
Xander shot out of a, for once, peaceful sleep, and started coughing more violently than ever before. It looked like he might hack up a bit more than blood or vomit if you know what I mean Buf and I, to her surprise, tried to et him to calm when he collapsed on us. The heart monitor he was now on slowly gave out.
About half a dozen docs and nurses came in the room. There was very few distinct words among the jumble of words as Buffy and I were pushed out of the room, other than "The heart attack weakened it" and "he's going into a cardiac arrest." Then there was a shout of, "Clear!" and the sound of a pair of shock paddles sending an electric charge into someone's skin. It had to be one of the most horrifying and sickening sounds I've ever heard.
After several tries and failures, we heard the little bip, bip, bip of the heart monitor going again. Most of the doctors and nurses left, except for one.
"He might not be around much longer," the doc said. "But what I don't get is how such a healthy young man could deteriorate at such a rapid pace."
Buffy and I looked at each other nervously, trying to figure out how to tell the doc.
"It looks a bit like an extreme case of a cancerous type thing, but it has the symptoms of whooping cough or a cold." The doc left to call Xander's parents.
And for some reason, but at that exact moment, I started to remember wondering how Xander's blood tasted. I caught myself and was horrified at that recalled thought, but wasn't totally appalled. No, in fact, I felt an old demon I thought I'd conquered a while back start to creep back up as the thought of turning Xander came into my head. 'No,' I thought, 'I...can't do that to him...not the man I love.'
He's dying......He'll be leaving you soon, leaving you to be heartbroken for the rest of eternity. You know where he's going. Someplace you'll never get to. And once there, you'll never be able to bring him back. No matter what you do or how badly you want him, his warmth, his love, his everything, in your arms and life. And you'll be lonely for the rest of eternity.
Bloody Hell. If I didn't know that already, I had bloody little voices in my head telling me the obvious. 'Thanks a lot, boys.'
Hey, that's what we're here for, to keep you insane. Or was that from going insane? We can never remember.
I rolled my eyes. Not only were the little wankers annoying, they had no clue what good they were for. Not only that, but it was true, the man I actually loved was dying and I felt as helpless as the infant I once had way back when. Don't quite remember when, but then again I normally never do.
Back on topic, what to do about the situation at hand? Buffy would want me to let him die, but then again, Xander's not exactly the love of her life, now is he?
Boy, you could say I was in a pickle. Vampirize the man I love, or lose him for the rest of eternity. What a choice, huh?
Well, that's about it for now. Um.......not a whole lot to say, although she did make up a few parts in there, and added a bit o' flavor, other than that.............she really did a good job.