Title: In the End
Author: Crimson Lipstick
Rating: PG -13
Category: Angst/Tragedy
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN X-MEN.
Summary: Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…
FelineFire82: Thanks. I didn't really like the last chapter so it's good someone liked it.
enchantedlight: Yeah, Logan's back! Thanks for reviewing :-)
Spectra2: Sorry for taking two weeks to update. But it was as fast I could.
Chapter 3
"Rogue?" asked Kitty, peering into her face, "Are you like okay?"
Rogue blinked, "Oh yeah. Ah'm-Ah'm… Ah don't know how Ah feel Kitty. Ah- just have- have tah see him!"
She jumped off the bed. Kitty somehow understood her and nodded.
"Rogue!" she called as Rogue reached for the door handle.
Rogue turned, "Yeah?"
Kitty hesitated, "Be careful."
Rogue just looked at her, "Why should I?"
She closed the door and began walking quickly, folding her arms as if she were cold even though the air conditioning had yet to be fixed.
She tried to forget everything that had happened today and instead focused on Logan.
He was back! She had every reason to be happy.
So why wasn't she?
Ah am happy. Well at least Ah'm trying tah be….
She drew in her breath as she rounded the corner. She could sense him as he could sense her. And…. And there he was. Closing the door to the Professor's office. His back was towards him. But she knew he knew she was there.
God! Now Ah'm thinking tongue twisters!
"Logan?" she whispered softly.
"Kid," he answered smiling.
Smiling.
When was the last time the Wolverine smiled?
That itself gave her more courage
"Logan!" she repeated as she rushed forward and hugged him, "You're back!"
"Well it seems so," He pulled back slightly, "What's wrong?"
Rogue pushed aside a strand of hair, "What do you mean?"
"Something seems wrong," Logan looked at her, "I can sense these things, kid."
"Ah'm not a kid," Rogue said.
"No," Logan said, almost sadly, "You're not."
He isn't supposed tah say that! It's like our little joke!
The awkward silence was broken by high-heels tapping on the ground.
"Logan?"
"Jean."
The dark red haired beauty stood before them. Rogue pursed her lips slightly, even though she had never ever really had a problem with Jean. When Jean had 'died' Rogue was inconsolable and when Jean 'resurfaced' Rogue had been one if the happiest people in the mansion- after Scott. But now to her, Jean seemed to be the enemy.
What is it with me and red-haired people?
"Will you be staying for long?" Jean was asking.
Logan shrugged, "Maybe. How are you and Scooter?"
Trust Logan tah never be one for tact.
But there was something else….the way he and Jean were talking, it- it was almost as if they were acting in a play. Like it was rehearsed.
It took Rogue a moment to realize the reason for this was the fact that Logan and Jean's relationship had become strained. They had become so uncomfortable with each other they couldn't have a regular conversation. The tension between them was that high. Rogue sincerely hoped her and Logan's friendship hadn't become like this.
"Uh," Jean looked away. "We got engaged last month."
"Oh," Logan's face was expressionless, "Congratulations."
Rogue snorted.
Both Jean and Logan turned to face her.
You always have to laugh at the wrong moment, don't you Rogue?
It was hard to not laugh actually. It was becoming more and more as if she were watching a low budget movie.
Rogue avoided their looks and became avidly interested in the ceiling. Soon Logan and Jean began talking again and slowly (though very) they eased back into regular conversation. Rogue wondered wildly, why Jean didn't dump Scott for Logan. She would in any case.
Soon it became apparent that they had sort of forgotten she was standing there. Rogue had a feeling she was in the way and that maybe she was the reason for their discomfort.
She slowly began to edge to the door. Logan however noticed and looked straight at her
"Hey," he said.
"Yeah?" Rogue hoped she sounded normal.
"I'll see you around," He smiled and Rogue could have sworn he winked, "Kid."
She blushed and turned towards the door.
Everything was looking up.
TWO WEEKS LATER…
He roared as he realized his confinement. He pounded his fists against the glass tank; the green water jumped and fell towards the ground.
He clenched his fists together in desperation and struck harder than ever.
SNICKT!
Three aluminum claws emerged from each hand. Blood splattered, staining the water an unhealthy crimson.
He yelped in surprise and pain. He moved his hands back forth; examining them in horror. In the distance a cruel high laugh could be heard. He yelled in agony again and slammed the claws into the glass.
CRASH!
The glass and contents of the tank went flying. An animal howl of fury was heard as he leapt out. Someone began yelling; orders it seemed.
Armed guards appeared. They surrounded him. They held up their guns but seemed hesitant to fire.
He didn't care.
The hatred, loathing and desperation coming from him could be sensed a mile away. He was intent on one thing. The reason he was designed for.
To kill.
Blood splattered, screams, yells, agonizing pleas.
They began firing. But they could do hardly any harm. After all it was the reason why he was chosen.
It was almost like a massacre, horrifying to watch. Body parts were sliced off. Blood leaked from fatal scratches. Guts poured out of deep cuts.
They put up a good fight but were no match for a man with revenge as his motive. His claws were sharp; they sliced anything in a way. They were almost like new toys and he was almost like a kid using them for the first time. His methods were brutal and thorough. He had nothing to live for except to kill everyone in the room.
He was unstoppable.
And they were at his mercy.
It wasnt long until the pleas became faint. It wasn't long before the screams stopped . Soon the bodies stopped twitching. Soon nobody was attacking him.
He stopped. He looked at the blood staining his claws and hands.
There he was. The only person alive in a horrifying flood of dead bodies.
The one responsible.
And then the person who had laughed was there.
In the shadows. Standing, watching. They looked pleased. .
He sensed him immeaditly.
His anger increasing he leapt forward, claws out ready for the kill.... but the person had vanished.
A sharp pain was felt in his side. He dropped to his knees, suddenly feeling faint.
Everything began to grow dizzy, hazy. Things were turning black
He tried to get up, but everything was going out of focus.
Two words were heard before everything became nothing.
"Weapon X.".
Rogue bolted awake. Cold sweat clung to her body, tears wrecked her face. She realized her hands were shaking.
Kitty stirred and Rogue held her breath.
These dreams had become more frequent ever since Logan's return. Logan himself had kept with his promise; he was still at the mansion. Their relationship however,as she had feared ,was strained. Something had changed. Rogue would have liked to blame Jean, but had a sinking feeling in her stomach that she herself was to blame.
She wanted things to be how they used to be. She wanted them to be friends again. But between him flirting with the beautiful Phoenix (they at least had gotten over their discomfort with each other) and her moodiness, the chances of this seemed low. The link between them seemed to be broken.
In fact it had almost reached a point, where she wanted Logan to leave. Not because she didn't like him, but because everything had become so uncomfortable. She hated venturing out of her room, in case she bumped into him. She hated going to Jean's classes, because it seemed he always was loitering there. She hated people talking about Logan with her, in case she let something slip. She hated even thinking about him, as she didn't want to know what her real thoughts about him were.
In short his mere presence was dictating her life. She knew that sooner or later they would have to talk.
She just wasn't ready yet.
"How many cups of coffee are you planning to drink, Rogue?" Jubilee raised one eyebrow.
It was the next morning and Rogue was having breakfast with Kitty and Jubilee.
Rogue blushed, "Ah guess Ah'm just tired."
"I like told you to do your homework, before that like Angel marathon," Kitty nodded sagely.
It amazed Rogue sometimes just how oblivious Kitty could be.
"Aren't you going to eat something?" Jubilee asked, "Or have you stopped eating breakfast all together?"
"When was the last time Ah ate breakfast?" Rogue answered cryptically
"Someone's in a bad mood," Jubilee noted, reciting one of her favourite phrases.
"Lack of sleep," Rogue placed her mug back down on the table, "Ah gotta go. Ah have to ask Jean for an extension before class starts."
Ah don't really have much of a choice. Though Ah hope she gives it tah me, Ah haven't been handing my work in lately.
"Wait!" Kitty called after her, "I thought you like did you homework like last night!"
"Now you get it," Rogue muttered as she left the cafeteria and headed out.
"Rogue!"
Her heart plummeted to her stomach as she recognized who was speaking.
Bobby.
"We need to talk. And don't say this isn't the time."
"Well, it's not. Ah have tah go and see Jean."
"Well, I don't care!" Bobby said, "We need to talk."
"About what?" challenged Rogue, "We broke up!"
"No," Bobby said calmly, "You broke up with me without giving me reason. All I want, Rogue, is closure and then you can go and kill yourself for all I care."
He must be pretty fucked off. Bobby never speaks like that.
"Okay, you want closure then Ah'll give you closure," Rogue took a deep breath, "Bobby, Ah broke up with you because Ah didn't like you in that way anymore! It happens! Get over it! It's been just ovah tah months!" She glared at him.
"I don't think that's the reason," Bobby said coolly, "I think there's another. And I think you don't have the guts to tell me."
Rogue made a noise of disbelief and moved to walk away, when Bobby grabbed her arm.
"Bobby! Let go!" Rogue twisted her hand out of his grip, "Just leave me alone!"
"You know, Rogue," Bobby said, "I might have said this before, but you've changed."
"Yeah well," Rogue shot back, "You've changed as well!"
"Maybe," Bobby answered, "But if I have, it's because of you."
He turned and walked away.
Great. Now Bobby hates me.
She sighed and continued her walk, concentrating so hard that she walked straight into Logan.
What is it with meh and meeting people in hallways?
"Kid," Logan steadied her, "What's wrong?"
"Haven't you asked me that before?"
Logan raised an eyebrow.
Rogue sighed, "Look, it's nothing. So don't worry."
"I can't help it, kid."
"Well, try." Rogue was surprised by her own shortness.
There was an awkward silence between them.
"It's the nightmares, isn't it?" Logan said suddenly.
Rogue gave him a strange look before answering.
"What if it is?"
Logan sighed, "I knew I shouldn't have come back. I'm screwing up things for everyone."
"Like Jean and Scott?" Rogue was on a roll, "Haven't see her wearing her ring tah often since ya've come back."
To her surprise Logan didn't say anything. Instead he looked almost hurt.
Ah guess he likes me after all.
"Everything's my fault, isn't it, kid?"
"No. Logan, Ah'm….Ah'm sorry."
"Are you really?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't think you are."
This conversation is getting stupid.
"Well, Ah wouldn't be having all these nightmares if you hadn't come back to start with!" Rogue snapped.
Logan opened his mouth.
"And Jean and Scott would still be happy!" She cut him off, "Every time you come back here, something goes wrong. Literally. Sometimes Ah... Sometimes Ah wish you would leave and never come back! That at least would be better than you coming back at the most inappropriate times and fucking up things for everyone!"
Rogue took a sharp breath and stared in horror at what she had just said.
Logan regarded her quietly, "Well if that's how you feel…."
"Don't leave!" Rogue said quickly, "Logan…"
He simply looked at her again, with an expression border-lining on pity.
" I wasn't going to say I was leaving. Yer not the only reason I came back, Marie."
He walked away, without so much as a backward glance.
Rogue blinked frantically and buried her head in her hands.
ONE WEEK LATER….
Rogue was walking past the main lounge, when she heard a distinctive thud followed by two short crashes. Someone was yelling and the television was blaring.
She frowned, slowly retraced her steps to the lounge and stood in aghast.
Jamie Madrox was jumping up and down on the largest sofa in the room as if it were a trampoline. When he saw her he leapt off and began running around the room screaming, not caring if he knocked over other chairs. He grabbed the remote and began flicking channels, all while skipping on top of the coffee table.
"Uh, Jamie?" Rogue said hesitantly.
"I'm here," someone said miserably.
She turned around to see the real Jamie Madrox standing in the doorway to her right.
"Is this the 'Ah've had tah much chocolate' Jamie?" Rogue commented dryly.
"I prefer exuberant," Jamie frowned as his multiple switched on MTV and began singing along.
"….YOU'RE TOXIC…I'M SLIPPING UNDER…"
Jamie lowered his head into his hands, "Why Britney Spears? Why?"
Rogue hid a smile as she watched the multiple begin dancing, 'He'll be gone soon."
"….I'M ADDICTED TO YOU… DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE TOXIC…"
"I know," Jamie sighed.
Rogue looked at him, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Rogue raised an eyebrow.
God, Ah'm doing what Logan does!
"It's just-" Jamie hesitated.
"Just what?"
"…GIVE ME A SIGN…. HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME…"
Is this a Britney marathon or what?
"Why me?" Jamie blurted out suddenly, "Why am I the one with this- this crap power! Why me?"
Rogue froze. How many times had she thought that?
"That was slightly unexpected," she said.
Jamie didn't say anything.
"Your powers aren't crap," she went on, "They're cool."
"I guess. But sometimes I wish I had someone else's, you know? Like, Mr Summers."
"Scott will only be able tah see shades of red for the rest of his life," Rogue reminded him.
"Mr Logan?"
"Don't get me started."
CRASH!
A half filled glass fell, showering the ground with coke and glass
Rogue dodged out the way of a speeding remote.
THUD!
It hit the back wall.
His multiple laughed manically before jumping onto another chair.
"Bobby?" Jamie continued as though nothing had happened.
"If it doesn't get to ya heart, sugah, you'll be lucky."
"What?"
"…MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME… I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE…"
"SHUT UP!" Jamie roared with a surprisingly loud voice for a thirteen year old.
Rogue opened her mouth and closed it, "Listen, Jamie, Ah like you powers. You do know how cool it is to multiply yourself, right?"
"You know you sound like you're trying to convince yourself," Jamie looked mournfully at where his multiple was pigging out on Doritos and littering the carpet "Guess who's going to have to clean up this mess? Not him. No, by then, he'll be long gone. I'll have to clean up. It isn't even my fault! Do I have to be punished because I can't control my own power?"
"OOPS! ...YOU THINK THAT I'M SENT FROM ABOVE... I'M NOT THAT INNOCENT!"
"At least there's a chance you'll be able to control your power," Rogue said wistfully.
"Who says you can't?"
"Me."
Jamie looked up at her, "It's what this is all about?"
"Sorry?"
"You."
Rogue blinked, "Sorry, Jamie, I don't-"
But Jamie had already started speaking.
"The reason you can't convince me is the fact that you can't convince yourself. You can't convince yourself that you do have 'cool powers' and that in fact you are lucky. That there is a way around your powers. You want to be sad and depressed. You want people to notice you. You want people to make you feel better and comfort you. Yet when they even try to, you push them away and punish them. You got to make up your mind, soon, Rogue. We're all suffering just because of you. You just think you're the only one but...."
"Jamie!" interrupted Rogue harshly.
Jamie fell silent and purposely didn't meet her eyes.
Months ago Rogue would have been surprised at how someone as young as Jamie could come up with something like that. But now….
Ah don't need a thirteen year old lecturing me!
"…OOPS!… I DID IT AGAIN TO YOUR HEART! …GOT LOST IN THIS GAME, OH BABY!"
Rogues straightened stiffly, "Ah'm not taking anymore of this."
Jamie nodded sadly, "Figured."
He looked over to where he double was waiting for the next song to come on. Seizing his chance he leapt over to the television, in hopes of switching it off.
His double however was smarter than this. He interrupted Jamie's path and launched himself on top of him. In seconds they were wrestling to Me Against the Music.
Rogue walked out quietly. She met Scott as he was walking past.
"What's going on?" he asked, indicating his head towards the lounge.
"Jamie's trying to kill himself," Rogue answered truthfully.
Scott gave her an incomprehensible look.
"Yeah," said Rogue, "Maybe Ah'm not the one ya'll should be worried about."
She walked away.
Maybe.
I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. I've been really busy but my holidays are coming up soon, so I should be able to get the next chapter up soon. And don't forget to review!! I didn't get many for the last chapter…
Crimson Lipstick