Title: A Little Friendly Advice

Author: Cassandra Mulder

Rating: PG

Feedback: Almost better than chocolate cake!

Spoilers: "Devoted"

Classification: Smallville; Clark and Lois friendship; Chlark

Disclaimer: Smallville and the characters within do not belong to me. They are the property of DC Comics, AlMiles, who are wicked screwed up, Tollin/Robbins, and the WB. No infringement intended. Translation: Don't sue!

Written: October 12 - 14, 2004

Summary: Lois has a thing or two to say to Clark on her cousin's behalf.

Distribution: My site, Bound, Ask and ye shall receive. ;)

A/N: I wrote most of this before "Devoted" aired, and finished it up after. Pretend Chloe and Clark didn't have their little chat, and it pretty much worked out. I felt this was what should have happened.

"Wow, you're really an even bigger dumbass than I thought, Smallville," Lois Lane said, as she ascended the stairs to Clark's loft.

He gave her a thoroughly annoyed look, followed by a hollow, "What?"

"I'm sorry, did you get over Chloe throwing herself at you that fast?"

"That was..."

"A weird thing," she finished for him with a smirk. "Yeah. A lot of 'weird things' seem to happen around here."

"I'm sure it's nothing Chloe hasn't talked to you about before," Clark said, staring out the loft doors, desperately trying to ignore her presence. She really did get under his skin, and not in a good way.

"Sure. But the thing is, Chloe's never gone Fatal Attraction before, as far as I know."

Silence.

"Well, has she?"

"Uh, no," he answered reluctantly.

"That's what I thought. You know why she did it, don't you?"

"Meteor rocks seem to be the standard explanation around here," he supplied, turning around to face her, matching her smug look.

"That may be what brought it out, but she loves you, genius," she informed him with an exasperated sigh. It was blunt, but blunt was her thing. She had found it always had a way of shocking people into true reactions. The less she beat around the bush, the less time they had to formulate a convincing facade. It worked almost every time, and it seemed to be working now, as she watched the boy in front of her gape like a fish.

"Chloe and I don't... Well, we..."

Lois rolled her eyes. "Maybe you don't, Kent, but she does. Apparently you're just too dense to see it."

All he could do was stand there, speechless, and she laughed a little as he tried to take it all in.

She waved a hand towards the couch. "Look, can we sit down? I'm not exactly finished here."

Clark scowled at her, but he led the way over to the couch, and they sat.

"Now," Lois said, turning toward Clark, "if you can pick that jaw up off the floor..."

His mouth snapped shut.

"Would you care to give me at least one good reason you've never given my cousin the time of day? Because I realize I'm new here, and I don't know everything, so I'm having a hard time understanding the situation fully."

Clark frowned. "Does Chloe know you're here?"

Lois gave him a scathing look. "Are you kidding me? She'd kill me for real if she knew I was here."

"Then what are you doing exactly?"

"Not avoiding the subject like a certain farmboy I know."

"I'm not avoiding the subject. I just don't see how any of this is any of your business," he said defensively.

"I'm making it my business, because you're too dumb, and Chloe's too shy."

Clark looked at her incredulously. "Chloe? Too shy?"

Lois was just about ready to drop kick this annoying boy right out of the loft doors.

"Yes, wiseguy. When it comes to boys she can be pretty timid. Obviously you haven't noticed."

"For your information, Chloe and I dated... briefly..."

Lois glared at him. "Yeah, I heard about that. 'Briefly' was more like a minute or so, wasn't it?"

Clark frowned. "Why do you even care?"

She scoffed. "Because Chloe's my cousin! On top of that, she's my best friend, and I, unlike some other supposed best friends of hers I know, care about how she feels and what happens to her."

"I care about her. I just..."

"You're just what? Busy being blinded by Lana Lang, who it seems has moved on? What is wrong with you, Clark?" she said seriously. She didn't necessarily want to be here talking to him about this, but as far as she was concerned it was high time Chloe had a little happiness, and if this dolt would do it, then she was willing to try. Though she didn't seem to be succeeding.

"There is nothing wrong with me," he insisted, on the defensive again. He always seemed to be with her.

"You could run for office with all the question dodging," she said. "Look, I'm not here to force you into anything. But I've been where Chloe is now, and all I want you to do is think about it. Teenage boys have a tendency to use something besides their brain when it comes to girls. And you are all that girl has talked about for years."

He only stared at her. She rolled her eyes and continued. "Just think about what you might be missing out on because you're too busy being focused on the past and what you can't have. You don't deserve any missed opportunities and neither does Chloe. This is your last year of high school, and trust me when I say you're going to regret not doing more than you regret doing what you have done."

"And you're so old and wise?"

"I wouldn't say that, but I have been there, done that. Just recently. So I do know what I'm talking about."

Clark finally conceded with a nod. "Fine. Lecture taken. I'll think about what you said, are you happy now?"

Lois was grinning that obnoxious grin he'd gotten used to seeing. "Ecstatic," she replied. "That's all I ever wanted you to do."

"And if you don't get a wedding invitation?"

"That's up to you and Chloe," she laughed. Standing up, she looked down at the silly boy in front of her that her cousin was somehow so wrapped up in. "Now that I'm being run out of town on a rail, I'd better get moving."

"I was just trying to help."

"Uh huh," she said wryly. "I can take a hint. But if you don't take care of my cousin, even just as friends, I'll come back and take care of you, Smallville. Got it?"

He let a smile slip through. "Threat understood," he said.

"I really do think you're a good guy, Clark," Lois said seriously. "A bit strange maybe..."

"Gee, thanks," Clark said, but he was grinning now. "How 'bout you get out of here before you make anymore close friends with all that Lane charm?" he joked.

Unexpectedly, Lois bounded toward him, gave him a quick goodbye hug, and turned, making a speedy exit down the stairs. Besides the good looks, she honestly didn't know what Chloe saw in him, but she hoped she had at least planted a seed in his mind, and her work here was done.

Finis