Title: In the End
Author: Crimson Lipstick
Rating: PG –13. This chapter though, does have one or two graphic scenes.
Category: Angst/Tragedy
Disclaimer: Hopefully by now you've got the idea that I own nothing.
Summary: Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…
TheDreamerLady: Yes, I'm back! No, we're not at the end yet. As for evil Kitty, remember we're not sure if she did it on purpose. Anyway to show how thankful I am for all your reviews, I'm going to dedicate this new chapter to you! Enjoy! Enchantedlight: Update I did! Was I fast enough? The Toaster: Thankyou so much for your compliments and for adding me to your favourites. Now, as for your whole, thought- accent thing, it's a good point. People don't think in accents. However I made Rogue think in accents because (a) I didn't pick up on it until you mentioned it (b) it's to signify that is Rogue thinking not anyone else and (c) it's too late to change. Thanks again, though, and I hope you like this new chapter. Fizzleup: Another person who liked it, yay! As for the happy ending, I guess it depends on what your personal view of what a happy ending is. I guess, maybe this is what you can call a bittersweet ending? Tell me what you think.
I updated in 10 days! Fast update, don't you think?
Don't forget to review once you've finished reading!
Chapter 8
Rogue leant over the toilet seat, holding her hair in one hand. She sighed bitterly and took the customary deep breaths to settle her stomach.
She then sat down slowly onto the cold tile floor. It hurt as it rubbed on her bare feet, but after a few moments it didn't matter so much.
Nothing does.
It was dark outside, but she didn't want to switch on the lights, for it hurt her eyes. Instead she used the light under the crack of the door. It wasn't much, but it did suffice.
According to her watch it was a little after two in the morning. She had tried to get to sleep, but as soon as she sank into a semi doze, the steel tank would emerge. The blood. The anguish.
Him.
She had started crying, naturally. She was tired. She needed sleep. In fact Rogue liked sleep. Because when you were asleep, you forgot all your troubles. But even though her body demanded it, she didn't want to go to sleep. She couldn't bear another nightmare.
Punching her pillow had mellowed some of her anger. But that was before her stomach had begun to feel all strange. The result of not eating.
So this was how she ended here crouching in the bathroom, her eyes all puffy and red, her hair mussed up, wiping her mouth and flushing the toilet.
God, how she hated herself. The mess she was in.
How did it all come tah this?
Even a week ago, everything had been so much better than how it was now.
She sighed and closed her eyes again. She was too tired to get up, yet she was too scared to go to sleep.
Ah really don't have a choice…
So gently she rocked herself to sleep.
"Rogue?"
Knock, knock.
"Are you okay?"
Rogue opened one eye and groaned. The position she had fallen asleep in, had granted her a stiff neck, sore arm and an immobile leg.
Besides that Ah did sleep kind of well.... maybe Ah didn't have a nightmare...
"You've been in there for awhile. I came in half an hour ago. Is everything okay?"
Rogue didn't answer. She closed her eyes briefly, before sitting upright and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
'"Marie?" Jean tried to grab her attention.
It worked.
Rogue froze. Suddenly she was wide awake.
"Excuse me?"
Jean missed the tone in her voice.
"Marie?" she repeated.
Rogue stood up quickly, so quickly that her leg swayed and she had to clutch the wall for support. She flung open the door and faced a surprised Jean.
"What did you just call me?" She said icily.
She didn't…
Jean finally realised her mistake.
"Oh, I'm sorry-"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" Rogue screamed, "NEVER!"
Jean stopped and stared.
"WHY DID YOU CALL ME THAT?"
She makes me so mad! WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE?
Jean took a step backwards, "Rogue, I'm- I'm sorry. Relax-"
"YOU'RE NOT!"
Rogue was struck by a fit of anger. One she hadn't felt she had trashed her room. And it felt good.
"I know what…"
"YOU KNOW NOTHING! DON'T PRETEND YOU DO!" Rogue pointed a finger at Jean and strode closer to her.
Jean knew she had to control Rogue. She was a doctor, for god's sake! Why wasn't she doing anything useful?
"Please, Rogue, relax! I don't want to call anybody else!"
Either do Ah…Kid, relax…
Kid?
Rogue frowned, but calmed down slightly before picking up her rant.
"You know nothing about me! You don't know shit! You don't know how Ah cry myself tah sleep nearly every day, wishing I were dead! You can do anything you want! You have a life ahead of you!"
Jean looked at the floor and then at Rogue. She suddenly looked so much older; there were bags under her eyes, which were nearly as big as Rogue's.
She has done a lot for me.
"We can talk about this. It was an accident..."
"Just leave meh alone!"
"I don''t like leaving you alone."
"It's not like Ah can do any damage! Ah need privacy! Ah need mah space!"
"Rogue..."
"Has it ever accorded to you, Ah like being left alone?"
Jean gave up.
"Perhaps."
Jean turned on her heel and turned to leave the room. She stopped by the door and spoke without turning her head, "Call me when you've calmed down. You need to take your medication."
The door slid open and the doctor left. Rogue heard her heels echoing down the hall, before the door closed.
Rogue sighed and looked at the doors. She had tried them, of course, but they wouldn't open. For her at least.
She really was a prisoner.
And it's all mah fault.
TWO DAYS LATER...
Rogue sat cross-legged on her bed. She was writing in her journal. With a flourish she signed it off, and hid the journal in her drawers under some old letters from Irene.
She had gotten Kitty a stereo; it was the least she could do. Kitty had refused it at first, but what choice did she have? Storm had it delivered to the room.
School had started yesterday and classes had to be rearranged, so one adult was always with Rogue. Rogue didn't care; it wasn't like she was going back to school anytime soon.
The Professor had been coming in to talk, more and more, but Rogue refused to say a word, hoping he would give up.
There isn't anything left tah say.
Anyway, Jean had gone, telling Rogue she would be back in ten minutes. And Rogue knew this was it. Sure, it was sooner than she had expected but this was it.
Would she go through with it?
There was so much she hadn't done… maybe there was an-
No, this was it.
"Dr Grey?" Rogue called out, "Jean, you there?"
No answer.
Rogue smiled sadly and looked around. There was no window, but if she tried, she could imagine a beautiful fall day, with rusted colour leaves, falling off strong trees. A nice breeze perhaps and a high sun, would complete the scene.
Then she shook her head.
It was now or never.
"Ah didn't want it to end like this," she said, "Ah didn't want tah hurt any of you."
She grabbed the scissors, paused, and then turned on the stereo, which Jean had courteously left.
She closed her eyes, willing Rogue to disappear.
Marie was the only person with the right to do this.
She grabbed the scissors and pried the blades apart. They gleamed, the sharp point on either end even more so.
Marie dug it into her left wrist. Deeper than before and then she jerked. Her aim was the veins that spun around her wrist, like snakes. Her skin split open, the blade diced in.
"Ah!"
A hazy feeling began to overtake her.
Deeper.
Deeper.
She moved to work on her other wrist, before finding out she could barely move the cut one. She could only scratch her right wrist while her left poured.
Better work on this one.
She created another line.
Everything began to sway.
Blood, crimson, call it what you may, flowed out. Stained the white sheets. Ran down her wrists, onto her hands.
She began to feel dizzy.
Ah am so sorry.
And then everything went black.
For the last time.
"What the hell are we going to do?"
Logan looked across the table at Jean and then at the clock. The bell would go soon and they would have to get this sorted out before then.
"We don't have to tell him."
Logan gave Jean disgruntled look, "Rogue knows and even if she didn't the best thing to do would be to tell him and hope he takes you back."
Normally Jean would be surprised by the amount of wisdom Logan as showing. But not today.
"But, Logan-"
"It was a mistake," Logan said firmly, "Just a mistake."
"Lo-" Jean rapped her nails on the kitchen table.
"Is Storm with the kid?" He changed the subject abruptly.
"No," Jean said in a small voice.
"Summers? The Professor? Half-Pint?"
"School started yesterday," Jean gently reminded him.
"You left her by herself?"
"What damage can she do?" Jean asked "And she prefers to be alone. I'll check up with her in a few minutes."
There was no way Jean was going to share with Logan the incident that had occurred two days. Jean knew what mistake she had made, and that was all that mattered.
"Maybe I should go…"
"Logan..."
"She needs company. She's in a critical state! I don't want anything more to happen to her!"
"And we need to talk this over!"
"What's there to talk about?" Logan leant forward.
"Logan, it doesn't have to be this way!"
"I don't want to hurt Marie!" Logan said angrily, "When she saw us k-together, she took a whole bunch of pills! I don't want to hurt her!"
"I know," Jean sighed, "But… are you saying if it weren't for Rogue we'd be together?"
"Maybe. Probably. I don't know." Logan snapped, "Everything's screwed."
Silence occupied the room for a few moments. Each was waiting for other to speak.
"Well," Jean smiled sadly, "In the end everything worked out."
"And you and Scooter will be happy."
Jean rolled her eyes, "Scott. And hopefully we'll be happy."
"I – what's that?" Logan leapt up, "Oh fuck…."
"What's what?" Jean said quickly, getting up too.
"Blood. I smell blood," he answered shortly, before running out the door
She ran out after him.
It was weird to see two adults, one your own teacher rush along the corridors like their life depended on it.
There were a group of students standing outside a classroom, doing an assignment of some sort.
Some of them began laughing. Some stared. Some whispered.
One girl however, a pretty brunette, took one look at the two adults running and immediately followed them. Her face had turned a pale white.
God, no.
Logan burst through the door and suddenly was immobile.
She lay on the bed, and for the first time in her life, Logan realised, she looked awful. Her eyes were closed, her face was pale. She lay at a very odd angle and the expression on her face showed pain. Blood still leaked from her body, mingling with her hair.
Jean stopped in aghast behind him.
"NO!" Logan yelled.
Jean snapped out of her shock and ran towards Rogue. She knelt by the bed.
One quick examination was all she needed for her heart to stop. Her worst fears had been confirmed… and yet a small part of her saw the upside.
Scott never needed to know…
She didn't have to go back to Scott…
"Shut up!" Jean yelled at the evil thoughts, "Shut up!
"Jean…."
Logan stared at her.
"I'm okay," whispered Jean.
"I know that, woman! WHAT ABOUT MARIE?"
Jean took a deep breath, but didn't answer. The words couldn't come out of her mouth. She herself didn't believe. She simply couldn't answer the question.
Logan knelt by her, "What can be done?"
"Nothing," Jean whispered softly, "She's - she's dead."
She immediately looked down at Marie and turned her wrist away from view.
"No," Logan shook his head, "She's not. Something-something, can be done! She wasn't here for long like this! You're a doctor, Jeannie! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?"
"No," Jean blinked several times, "She's gone, Logan. I'm so s-"
"She can't be! SHE IS NOT FUCKING DEAD!"
"Logan…"
"Damn it, Jeannie! Fuck it!" Logan suddenly broke down, "I was about to come here and check! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! THIS ISN'T FAIR!"
"Logan!" screamed Jean, "This isn't fair to anyone!"
His animal howl of fury could be heard miles away.
The medical bay burst open again and four people raced in.
Kitty took one look at the scene and let out a strangled gasp. Scott stood there immobile. Storm closed her eyes. The Professor lowered his head sadly.
Jean swallowed and pushed aside a strand of Marie's hair.
Logan stood, his eyes glowing.
Outside on the top levels of the mansion, the school bell rang. It seemed ironic. To them, Rogue was still alive, and all that mattered to them was why their teacher had disappeared.
It's strange, you know. To see someone one day, and then the next to seem them dead. How do you know, one day, a simple 'see you tomorrow', will never happen? That one day someone close, will be dead.
Will you know the last words you said to them?
Would you regret anything?
Rogue was dead.
Yet, it was so hard to say. How the fuck could she be dead?
She was never coming back.
Never.
All they had were memories, and in time, they would fade.
They would never hear her southern accent again.
They would never see her cry again
They would never see her laugh again.
They would never see her pretty smile again.
They would never be able to change their last words to her. If they could remember them, that is.
Never.
She was gone.
And how would you like it?
In the silent aftermath of the bell they all became aware of a song playing on the stereo. Rogue- no, Marie must have left it on.
"Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday-"
SNICKT!
The stereo was cut up; its pieces littered the air.
Logan roared and picked up what was remaining and smashed it towards the ground.
Scott turned away, biting his lip as tears clogging up his sunglasses, threatening to escape onto his cheek. For once he had nothing to say to Logan.
Kitty was inconsolable. She was crying hysterically, her shoulder shuddering with every sob. She couldn't bear to even look in the direction of the mutilated body.
Storm had her arms around Kitty. Her face was stoic, her eyes bleak. The only sign of her true feelings were the dark clouds brewing outside.
The Professor was staring out the window. His face showed anguish and pain, almost as if he had lost a child of his own.
Jean…
Jean was still kneeling besides Rogue, tears openly running down her face. She touched her hand lightly to the blood that stained her own white blouse.
With a backwards look at Kitty, she covered up the body. She ran a hand lightly over the soft white material.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I'm so sorry."
She straightened up and looked around at the surroundings, "But I'll never be as sorry as you should be Rogue. Whatever reason you had for taking your own life, wasn't good enough. We're all going to suffer."
Her eyes strayed towards Scott and Logan. Now she had a choice, one that had to be made at this unfortunate moment.
Logan was breathing heavily, knocking anything in his sight.
Scott was standing still. He was looking at the floor.
Her eyes moved backwards and forwards, until she made a decision.
And then she walked towards Logan.
And this time the tears did fall down Scott's face.
Rogue really did have a lot to answer for.
In the End.
THIS IS NOT THE END!
There's an epilogue coming up. It'll be uploaded on the four month anniversary of this story - this Thursday.
Okay, besides that I hope you all liked this chapter and please review, because I really appreciate them. Thanks.
Crimson Lipstick