Chapter 22

Sisters and Boyfriends

"I'm HOME!"

"Oh, Petunia's home, shall we go say hello?" Before Lily could respond she was dragged

into the hallway to greet her amazing, perfect, beloved older sister.

"Oh, you're home Lily. Will you grab my coat for me, I'm dreadfully tired. How's dinner

coming along?"

"Almost ready darling, we're making your favorite. Lily really wanted to cook for you

tonight. That was the first thing she said when she got in the car. Isn't that cute? There was no

stopping her, she was so eager to cook dinner for you."

"Oh, that would explain her smell. She's been in the kitchen all afternoon. Are you going to

at least shower before dinner?"

"I don't know, beetween cooking and cleaning for you, I don't know if I'll have the time or

energy. Anyway, if you'll excuse me, your potatoes won't peel and cook themselves." Lily spun

around, flicking Petunia with her red curls and making her way back to the potatoes, adjusting

her apron.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe her!! Potatoes totally aren't my favorite meal!"

"It's okay sweetie, don't worry, I'll have something else for you as a special treat." Mrs.

Evans followed her daughter into the kitchen. "Lily, darling, grab the nice table cloth would you?"

"Of course mother dearest. Whatever you say." Lily's family always had this effect on her.

She would look forward to going home and then get stuck with all the dirty work. Now she

remembered why she didn't like Petunia. She was a spoiled brat. Lily finished the pork and

rolled it in bread crumbs. She would not eat it herelf, but it was Petunia's favorite. For some

reason this whole situation seemed oddly backwards to her. Shouldn't it be Lily who was

fawned over? And Petunia who was cooking? That was never how it was at the Evans

household. Lily looked whistfully at the refrigeorator, it was, as usual, covered in A and A. The

phone rang.

Lily answered. "Hello?"

"Yes, Hi, this is Vernon, is Petunia there?"

"Yes one second please?"

"Who am I speaking with?"

"Lily, I'm Petunia's sister."

"I see...You know what, I changed my mind, I don't need to speak with her, I'm coming

over."

"Alright. I'll tell her."

"Thank you, see you in a moment."

"Ok." Lily hung up. "Mom?"

"Yes? Is the pork done?"

"Yes, but who is Vernon?"

"He's your sisters boyfriend."

"Does Petunia have a boyfriend?"

"Yes. She is 18 after all. They're going to the same college. They've been dating for 3

years."

"What college is Petunia going to?"

"Wherever Vernon goes."

"Okay. Does she hve an idea of where she wants to go?"

"She wants to go where Vernon goes. So he'll be here for dinner then?"

"I assume so."

"Better make another pork. We'll have coctails while you make it. You know what, make

three more. I'll tell Petunia he's coming." Petunia came in to the kitchen in hystercs the next

minute. She had an even longer neck than Lily had remembered.

"So he called. What did he say?"

"He said can I talk to Petunia, I said sure, one second, he asked who was speaking, I said I

was your sister, Lily, and he said, oh, okay, never mind, I'll be over in a minute. I said okay, I'll

tell her."

"What did his voiec sound like? Was it angry, excited, happy, normal? What did it sound

like?"

"It sounded high pitched and annoying, like a little immature boy before pubredy."

"No, I mean tone of voice." Petunia never really could tell when she was being insulted.

"I don't know, excited. Normal. What's normal for him?"

"Never mind, you don't understand boys at all. Wait 'til you get a boyfriend." Lily scoffed,

what did Petunia know? This was what, her first boyfriend? Lily had had several boyfriends a

year since she was 13, showed how little her family knew. They did not now Lily at all, and they

obviously couldn't tell that she was hott and desirable. they still saw her as an overshadowed

little baby. Lily would show them some day. Her thoughts were interupted by the doorbell. "Oh

my god, that's him, stall him. I need to get ready."

"What's wrong with what your wearing? It's what you always wear."

"Exactly. Come on Lily, what's wrong with you? You can't just be the same as normal for

guys, you need to mke an impression." What she changed into certainly made and impression.

She wore a short skirt, a skirt which did not flatter her short legs, and a tight shirt that

emphasised all the wrong curves, sloppily applied makeup, smeared eye liner, and lip liner that

did not blend with her skin tone. She was drenched in perfume. Lily personally felt that she had

looked better before she had changed. "Hello Vernon."

Vernon Dursley walked into the front hallway, wearing khakis, and an oxford collared shirt.

At least he hadn't shown up in rags fresh from working out at the gym, as one of Petunia's old

boyfriends had done. Petunia gave a silly girlish wave and giggled, looking at the floor. She was

so akward. Lily had never seen the point in dating someone who you couldn't be yourself with.

But, she thought after a minute, she had dated Severus, and he was probabally the smarmiest of

all the smarms.

She was wrong. He was not the smarmiest of the smarms, in fact, she had the misfortune of

sitting next to the one guy who out smarmed him two to one. At dinner, rather than sit next to his

girlfriend, he grabbed the seat next to Lily, leaving Petunia by herself on the other side of the

table while Lily was chatted up by her boyfriend. Obviously at least one person at the table

could tell that she was hott and desireable.

There was not really anything to chat about, Lily could not tell him that she practiced magic

at a school full of witches, wizards, moving staircases, walking suits of armor, and talking

pictures. Instead she told him that she went to a boarding school in Scotland. He was obviously

not very intelligent, and Lily found it easy to steer the convorsation away from her school,

unfortunately there was not really anything very interesting about Vernon Dursley. He did not

belong to any clubs, did not participate in sports, and the only extra ciricular he seemed to have

was sitting at his house or coming to dinner here. Lily spent the entire dinner watching her sister

pout while shooting her evil looks and trying to get Vernons attention. She watched her parents

fawn over Vernon, talk about how well he ate, compare him to the children of today who

became anorexic in order to become skinnier, and basically complement everything he did,

including breather, or lift up his fork to take a bite of his meal.

In the middle of Vernons story about how he had almost beaten a really hard video game

whoes purpose seemed to be to kill the most people in the shortest amount of time, Petunia

made a last ditch attempt to get Lily out of the picture.

"Lily, would you please go and get me a glass of water?" This seemed like an absurd thing

for Lily to do, seeing as she and everyone else at the table had a full glasses and Petunia was

closer to the door. Not to mention Lily was eating, but it would have been a good excuse to

escape Vernon's droning.

"Oh, Petunia, if your getting up, would you get me some more to?" So much for everyone

having full glasses, Vernon had just chugged his entire glass, leaving half of it dripping down his

chin and onto his shirt. Petunia took his glass and marched into the kitchen angrily. She came

back and slammed the glass onto the table, sloshing some onto his pants and earning herself a

dirty look from her parents. After dinner their parents offered to pick up a movie for them,

apparently they were totally smitten with Vernon. Lily even discovered over the course of the

meal that Vernon and Petunia had been set up by their parents. Things were starting to make

sense now.

Lily sat down on the couch, thinking that Petunia and Vernon would site together on the

other couch, but no, Vernon plopped down next to her, leaving no room for Petunia.

Throughout the film, he kept on slinking his arm aroung behind her. She would push it away, or

caually scootch to the farthest corner of the couch, but five minutes later there it was again,

creeping around her shoulders. It was a constant battle. Halfway through the movie Petunia,

after giving Lily a discusted look, got up and left. Lily did not see how this was in any way her

fault, she had not encouraged him at all. Whatever, she could not expect her parents or sister to

understand. They would think Vernon had not done anything. His shoulder was rubbing up

against hers again, and she felt him moving it around her yet again. It did not give her the tingles

and butterflies that James's touch gave her. But James was an ass, this guy was too, but James

was cocky, and a jerk. Remember Lily, he makes you act stupid and rude. But what about

you? Why do you always put your friends first? They aren't very good friends if they just

expect you to always focus soley on them and never yourself. But they were her best

friends. They were always there for her. And Janettte was right, he was a jerk. Remus

however, although he was not as cute as James, was really nice... She thought back to the

night in the bathtub when Remus had kissed her. He was so cute, and sweet. His kisses had

been nice too. She did not even notice his arm around her shoulders until it was already there,

she pushed it off and scooted over some more, she was practically sitting on the armrest, pretty

soon there would be no where for her to go. Fifiteen minutes later, when Petunia still had not

returned, Vernon moved closer, forcing her to the very end of the couch. She almost laughed at

him, the beefy boy with his eyes closed and mouth open, he obviously had very little kissing

experience. She put a pillow in front of her face. She felt his gead connect with the fabric, and

felt it snap backwards.

"What are you doing? You know you want me, and your sister won't find out, she never

does. It can be our little secret, come on, just give in to the temptation."

"Temptation? I don't see any temptation here. Oh, you were talking about you?" She

pretendsed she had not known.

"That is more funny that tempting. Exactly how many times have you cheated on my sister?"

"I dunno, why?"

"You are the possibly the smarmiest, sleaziest, pig headed fool that I have ever met. Did

you honestly think I would hook up with my sisters boyfriend?" He took her hair in his hands,

smelling it and stroking it. He was a very creepy guy.

"Of course. I can sense how much you want it." Lily just got up and walked out of the

room, removing her hair from his grip.