A/N I don't know what Beth's girlfriend's name is, so I'm making it Allison.
A/N 2: This is a repost of chapter 1. I was reading over it again and caught a couple small errors I missed in the original editing.
A Man Called Ghost
Chapter 1
Slowly the man turned the key to his apartment and opened the door. Dropping his seabag on the floor and walked in. The apartment was cold, and a thin layer of dust covered everything. He'd been away for three months and wasn't surprised at the uninhabited look to his apartment. Walking over to the answering machine he saw the light flashing to let him know he had messages waiting. Pushing the button he walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Good thing about bottled water, it didn't spoil.
"Ghost, its Webb. We have a meeting at the office at nine tomorrow morning. You're needed for another job. Don't be late this time."
"Fuck off Webb." The man muttered after hearing the message. Taking a pull from the water he waited for the next message.
"Harm…its Beth. Heard you were coming back soon…we should get together. I'll bring Allison and we can go out for dinner. Give me a call, ok?"
Well that wasn't so bad…Beth O'Neil was his first partner when he joined the Company. Not many people called him Harm anymore though…sometimes he thought he'd forgotten who Harmon Rabb Junior was. And then the nightmares came back.
Tossing the now empty bottle of water into the sink the man opened a cupboard door and pulled out a bottle of scotch. Not even bothering with a glass he took a pull from the bottle. When the next message came on he spit out some of the scotch in shock.
"Harm…its Mac. I don't know where you are or when you're going to get this. I don't know if you're ever going to get this…I don't know why I even bother anymore. Anyway…call me if you want."
Swearing to himself Harm threw the bottle against the wall and watched the amber liquid slide down the surface. He thought she'd given up months ago. He'd hoped she'd given up. Webb made a habit of throwing his relationship with Mac in Harm's face every chance he got.
Feeling the rage washing through him Harm strode over to his answering machine and snatched it off the desk and threw it across the apartment. For the thousandth time he thought to himself that he needed to change his phone number.
A knock at the door caused him to turn around quickly with his hand reaching around behind him for the .45 he had hidden behind his back.
"Mr. Rabb…you're back from your business trip!" Mrs. White said.
Harm slowly moved his hand away from the weapon when he saw it was the old lady who lived downstairs.
"Just got back Mrs. White." He said after taking a breath to push the rage down.
"I'm sorry for disturbing you Mr. Rabb…I heard noises and thought someone had broken into your apartment. Welcome back." Mrs. White said as she tottered off back down the hallway.
Picking up his phone Harm dialed a number he knew too well.
"Webb."
"I'll be there." Harm said and then hung up. It wasn't like he could not go and say he wasn't here; Webb knew exactly when Harm had gotten back. Whatever the job was, if Webb wanted him chances are it would go to hell. In the years he'd known Clayton Webb Harm had come to know that no matter how well Webb planned his missions something always happened to send them to south. With a sigh Harm collapsed on the couch and put his head in his hands. For a year now he'd worked for the Company…for a year he had jumped when called on. He'd learned things that allowed him to take advantage of his unique…skills. For six months he'd been making a name for himself in the anti-terrorist trade. For the last four months he couldn't go to sleep without the dreams haunting him. Every night he remembered the people he'd killed in the name of his country; he'd killed before as a pilot, and he'd even killed people when he was a lawyer for JAG, but it was never like this. He regretted the lives he had taken before, but they'd never given him nightmares.
He needed a drink. Picking up the phone he dialed Beth's number.
"Hello?"
"Its me." Harm said hollowly.
"Harm! You're back. How are you?" Beth asked excitedly.
"I am." Harm answered simply. Beth would understand.
"I see. A bad one?"
"No worse than any of the others. You still want to get that dinner?" Harm asked trying to change the subject.
"Sure…Allison and I weren't up to anything tonight. Where do you want to meet?"
Pausing Harm tried to think of a place where he wouldn't run into anyone he knew. Eight years had pretty much ensured that the people from his past life occupied most of the places he was familiar with and enjoyed frequenting. "Pick something dark." He said shortly.
"Murphy's?"
"No."
"The Farmhouse?" she offered naming a fake country western dive that was frequented by his current co-workers.
"It'll work. I'll meet you there in an hour."
An hour later Harm was sitting in a booth in the back corner of the dark dining room. He looked up from his fourth beer to see Beth and Allison walking towards him hand in hand. Nodding at them he stood while they sat down. Well at least his mother would be proud the manners she'd instilled in him hadn't been forgotten.
"Harm…its nice to see you again." Allison said politely. He'd met her on a few occasions since he and Beth had been partnered up flying for the Company.
"You too Allison." Harm said politely. Tossing back the rest of his beer he signaled the waitress for another. It wasn't enough to get him drunk yet, but the pain was dulled a little.
"How many is that Harm?" Beth asked in concern.
"One too many, and one too few."
"So how long are you back for?" Beth asked trying to get his mind off of his drinking.
Shrugging Harm waited for the waitress to put the glass of beer in front of him and take Beth and Allison's drink orders. Running a hand through his hair he scanned the room warily. "Not sure. Spider left a message I have to go into the office tomorrow morning."
Beth would know who he was referring to…he had to admit it was childish but he got some sick pleasure from referring to Webb as Spider. Clayton hated it, and had even threatened to shoot him the next time Harm called him that. Harm didn't care. He knew Clayton didn't have it in him to shoot another agent. A terrorist, sure. An enemy soldier, no doubt. But not another agent. At least he enjoyed the nickname they'd given him when he was training with the SAS in England a few months back. Ghost. They'd started calling him that when no one could find him during training maneuvers. They didn't hear him sneak up on him, and they didn't see him sneak away once they were 'dead'. The instructors had called it unnatural, and some of the guys had taken it to heart.
Picking up her menu Beth scanned over the food offerings in the bar. "What are you having Harm?"
"Not hungry. The beer's fine." Harm said absently. He hadn't been eating much lately, and he knew he was losing weight. It wasn't like he was starving himself, he couldn't carry out missions if he was weak from not eating. He just hadn't been hungry lately.
"Harm, you should eat something. You're getting as thin as a rail." Beth said insistently.
"Look mom, I said I'm not fucking hungry." Harm said harshly.
Holding up her hands Beth shook her head. "Don't take it out on me Harm. Just a concerned friend here. What are you having Ali?" she asked her girlfriend.
An hour and three beers later Harm stood up from the table with a barely perceptible lurch. "Thanks for dinner ladies. I'll see you around."
As he pushed his way through the doors he saw two familiar faces crossing the parking lot. Just his luck to run into them here. Why the hell did he have to bring her to a place like this? Wasn't a five star restaurant more his style?
"Harm?" a hauntingly familiar voice said in shock. Ignoring her he turned down the street and thrust his hands into the pockets of his leather flight jacket. Picking up the pace he walked down the sidewalk to try and walk away from his past again.
"Harm?" he heard her call out again, desperately.
"Sarah…that wasn't Harm." Webb's familiar voice said from behind him.
"Let me go Clay…that was Harm! How can you say it wasn't? I know that was Harm…why wouldn't he talk to me?"
"Trust me Sarah…" he heard Webb say.
Quickly turning a corner Harm stopped and leaned up against the wall pushing his head back as far as he could as he looked up into the cloudy night sky. In his mind he saw the shock that had changed to excitement on her beautiful face. Her hair was longer than he remembered…it looked good on her. And the music of her voice…he choked back a sob when he thought of how much he missed her voice. God, her eyes were still the deep pools of brown he had struggled to not let himself get lost in so often in the past. Pushing himself off the wall he turned and continued down the street towards his apartment. He'd left that part of himself, of his life behind…he'd left her behind and he couldn't go back.
"You can never go home again." He muttered to himself as he walked into the night.
The next morning he was up and showered at six. Looking in the mirror he ran his hand over the slight stubble that showed on his face and decided against shaving. What the hell did he care what the suits thought? Chances are they'd be sending him back out into the field soon anyway.
Flipping through the morning paper Harm slowly drank his coffee as he delayed heading out to the CIA offices until the last minute. He knew it would piss Webb off when he walked in a few minutes late. And he'd tauntingly tell Webb that he was just being "fashionably late". God, how he detested Webb and his high society ways. Scratch that…he just detested Webb period. And not just because Webb was with Mac. Getting up he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and a bottle of Tylenol® from the counter. Tossing back the two red pills he chased them with a swig of water and grabbed his coat. At least the beers and the scotch had chased away the nightmares. Striding out the door Harm slammed it shut and entered the stairwell leading down to the street. Time to go face the suits.
At nine oh six Harm pushed his way into the briefing room and slumped into a chair near the door.
"Hey guys." He said insolently.
"Rabb. Why can't you ever be on time?" Webb said in irritation.
"Stick it up your ass Spider." Harm said quietly.
"Don't call me Spider."
"Gentlemen!" Director Kreshaw said without bothering to hide how much their wrangling was annoying him. "We have an op to discuss."
"Shoot." Harm said with a slight wave of his hand.
"So glad we have your permission to continue Mr. Rabb." The Director said. "Now then…we have learned recently that someone at one of the naval bases in Iraq has been providing information to the dissadents. Agent Webb has planned a sting that will allow us to find and apprehend the individual or individuals responsible. Mr. Webb?"
"Thank you Director. Our information leads us to believe that the leak is located on this base here." Webb said indicating a spot on the map that suddenly sprung up from a digital projector. "We are going to be working with the Navy on this one in order to flush out the man or men we are looking for."
"Whoa. Hold your horses there Spider. You know I don't work with Navy personnel." Harm said sitting up straight at Webb's words.
"Chances are you won't have to Rabb. Your job is to provide high cover…we need you and that rifle of yours to make sure that everything goes as planned. We are hoping to set up a meeting with the individuals in question by posing as information brokers who can get him a better deal for his information. The Naval personnel will be working with me directly on this one posing as disgruntled personnel with information to sell our informant. Rabb, you will be stationed on top of a building across the street from the meeting location. Your job is strictly cover, you hold position until the naval personnel and I are clear after the individual or individuals have been apprehended by the capture team."
"Sounds easy. Why do I get the feeling it won't be?"
"Because you've saved his butt before." Someone at the table muttered.
Barely containing his annoyance Webb continued on with his briefing. "Once the subjects are secured and the sting team withdrawn you will rendezvous with an extraction chopper here." He continued pointing to another spot on the map.
"Who's Navy sending?" Harm asked warily. If he knew Webb it would be someone from JAG, and if he knew Webb it wouldn't be just anyone.
"Don't worry. If all goes as planned they won't even see you."
"Who. Is. It." Harm said levelly.
"Turner and MacKenzie." Webb said after a minute's pause.
"Fuck no." Harm said standing up from the table.
"Sit down Mr. Rabb." The director ordered. "As Agent Webb stated, the plan does not call for you to be in direct contact with the naval personnel. I've decided that this does not violate the…request…you've made about not working with Navy. You will be going to Iraq ahead of Webb and his team, and you will be extracting after they are safely out of the area. There will be no exposure. You go."
With a frown Harm took his seat again. He'd make damn sure they didn't know he was there…hell he'd been to Mac's apartment and she didn't know he was there. Biting his lip to keep from chuckling he thought back to that night.
It had been four months ago. He'd just returned from his special warfare training with the SEALS and had been told he was going to England for two months to train with the SAS. He'd been thinking about her a lot, and missing her even more. One night he'd gone out for a drive…he was planning on having a few drinks before he crashed, but he'd found himself outside her apartment. Not really knowing why he'd driven himself there he watched as Mac and Webb walked up to the front of the building and kissed. He watched as she invited Webb upstairs and he'd watched them go in. Without really thinking about it he'd found himself scaling the fire escape to her building and eventually found himself outside her window. He didn't know what he was doing there…he wasn't some perverted peeping tom, but he just couldn't help himself. Silently he'd watched as Mac and Webb entered the apartment and Webb had opened a bottle of red wine and poured a single glass. Good to know she hadn't fallen off the wagon; Harm knew Webb had more than a few drinks most nights. It came with the job. After they had started kissing again and began moving towards the bedroom Harm had finally allowed himself to climb back down the fire escape. It wasn't until he was back on the sidewalk that he felt the tears on his face. Wiping them away with a quick savage motion Harm walked back to his car and never came back.
"You leave this afternoon Rabb. Webb and his team will be six hours behind. Your contact will have your equipment ready for you when you arrive. She will meet you at the airport and take you to your perch."
"Go team." Harm said bitterly. He knew they hated his attitude, but they couldn't argue with it, he was the best at what he did.
Looking at his watch Webb stood up. "I need to get going sir. I have an appointment with the Admiral and his people in forty five minutes. Care to join me Rabb?" Webb asked snidely.
"No…I need to go prepare to save your ass again." Harm replied just as snidely.
When Harm left the briefing room a few minutes later Webb was waiting in the hall.
"Thought you had an appointment."
"I do…but I needed to talk to you." Webb said taking Harm's arm and leading him down the hall. "What were you doing there last night?"
"I was having dinner with Beth and Allison. Shouldn't I be asking you that question? Couldn't get a reservation at somewhere fancier?"
"Sarah picked. I don't know how she heard about it, but she heard the burgers were good and wanted to try them." Webb said pulling the face he normally did when discussing Mac's eating habits.
"Well I'll have to remember to avoid it now."
"Damn it Harm, she almost broke my arm when I tried to keep her from going over to your apartment."
"Too bad. Then she could have nursed you back to health." Harm said bitterly.
"Look Harm…I didn't know you were going to be there, I wouldn't have brought her if I did. Honest."
"Yeah right. Don't do me any favours Spider…you love tormenting me with her."
"Don't call me Spider." Webb said with a sigh. Looking at his watch he continued. "I really do have to get to Falls Church. I'll see you on the other side."
"Count on it. I won't let anyone shoot your ass off. That's my privilege." Harm said with a slight grin that could only be described as ghoulish.
Watching Webb walk off after shaking his head Harm decided to go down to the rifle range and squeeze off sound magazines to relax before he went home to pack.