Chapter 2: The Second Rude Awakening
It was several hours later that Harry woke up from his black out. Harry's eye lids slowly opened, partially glued down by the crusty stuff that forms on our eyes while we sleep. For some reason, Harry had twice the amount of crusty stuff on his eyelids than he normally had. He also noticed that he now had his glasses on. When his eyes were fully open, Harry noticed Dobby's green, pencil-like nose just inches from his own face. His first intention was to grab the nose and rip it free from the head of the stupid house elf. Oh how sweet it would be to see Dobby screaming in pain and agony with his nose detached from his face; It would almost amount to the pain that Dobby had caused Harry. But Harry had second thoughts, he would first ask Dobby why he was here, WHY HE WAS HERE TO RUIN HIS LIFE!!!
"Dobby..." Harry said through gritted teeth, "...WHY are you here?!" Harry noticed that he was lying on his back on the ground, and Dobby was now lying on Harry's stomach with his feet in the air and using his fists to prop his head up. "Well, sir...it's hard for Dobby to say sir..." Dobby began. "JUST TELL ME!" Harry interrupted. "Nobody else wanted Dobby to stay with them. Can you believe it?" Dobby said. "Shock of the century..." Harry muttered under his breath. "What did Harry Potter say? Dobby is a trifle deaf in his left ear, so speak up next..." Dobby began to say, but Harry interrupted yet again "Oh nothing." "Well, Harry Potter, can Dobby stay with you? Just for the summer..."
Dobby trailed off. Harry was about to immediately scream "NO WAY" at the top of his lungs, but he caught himself and started thinking it over, while staring into the face of the wide-eyed little monster. "If Dobby stayed here, he would think of me as his ally, which is far from true. He would also drive me crazy, and possibly insane. But, if he stayed here I could finally achieve my long anticipated goal...to DESTROY DOBBY! Yes! Then I wouldn't have to think about him ever again, and I could FINALLY sleep at night!" Then, a toothy grinch-like grin stretched across his face. "Yes, Yes Dobby, You can stay with me..." Harry said in a creepy voice. "WHOOOOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Dobby squealed. Then he lept forward and gave Harry a big kiss on the lips. Outraged, Harry started choking and wiping his mouth in desperate attempts to clean himself from Dobby's germs. "DOBBY! Shut up and NEVER do that EVER again!!!!!!!!!!" Harry Bellowed. "As Harry Potter wishes, sir." Dobby says. "Oh, and Dobby, I was thinking about letting you sleep in one of the drawers in my dresser, but I changed my mind. Now, you're sleeping in the closet." Dobby shrugged. "It's better than where I slept at my last home..." "Where did you sleep?" Harry asked. "In the oven." Dobby replied. "What?! Was is off?" asked Harry. "Only on Thursdays, from 12am to 4am. It grew so terribly hot, sir. Like a sauna you're trapped in!"
Suddenly, Uncle Vernon's thundering voice interrupted Harry and Dobby's conversation. "HARRY! Come downstairs and make us breakfast, maggot! We're hungry and if you don't hurry, we'll be late for Dudley's liposuction appointment!" Harry rolled his eyes at this announcement. He turned toward Dobby and said "I have to go fix breakfast. Hide in the closet until I get back!" Then Harry strolled downstairs to fix breakfast for his relatives.