A Man Called Ghost
Chapter 10
It had been a week since he returned from Spain, and Webb's threat of him being 'done' had garnered nothing. Harm had been in the office at the time Webb asked Kershaw to fire him. In the middle of being debriefed, Harm simply stormed out. Kershaw just shook his head and made some comment about childish rivalries.
Beth had called nineteen times so far this week asking to get together, but Harm just couldn't face her, not after that night. He couldn't believe that he let her see him so weak, so out of control. Funny, no matter what he did he ended up in a job where control was everything, in the air, in the courtroom, and now in the deep dark spook world.
Harm shook his head and looked down at the carved figures on the bed before him. Toys that he had brought back for AJ and his brother Jimmy...toys for AJ's party, which according to the message Harriet left on his answering machine, was happening today. Ever since that fiasco in Iraq, people at JAG had renewed their telephone campaign requesting he contact them. Bud and Harriet weren't too bad, the worst were Mac and Sturgis. In a twisted sort of way, he thought that made sense. After all it was Mac and Sturgis he saw in Iraq, not Bud and Harriet. They were just going on rumors, while Mac and Sturgis knew he was around.
He should just mail these, hire a courier to take them over today. He shouldn't go...there was nothing there for him. What would he do? Swap office stories with Bud and Sturgis? Oh...you're working on a sexual harassment court-martial? Interesting....me? Oh I killed six terrorists in the last month...month before that was up to seventy from what I'm told. Broke a guy's neck last week and shot his friend between the eyes. Why? Oh...that's need to know guys.
Of course they'd look at it like he's doing his part in defending his country from terrorists, but deep down they'd feel the way Mac did. They'd look at him the same way. He couldn't think about how Mac looked at him in that café in Iraq.
The ringing of the phone pulled him away from his thoughts. With a quick decision he stood and walked down the stairs to the living room but let the phone ring. Eventually his machine picked up.
"This is Rabb, I'm not available right now but if you leave a message I'll get back to you when I can." He heard his own voice say, in a much too cheerful tone.
"Harm...it's Harriet. I just wanted to phone and confirm that AJ's party is today at fourteen hundred...I mean two o'clock. Also someone here wants to say something to you." Harm heard Harriet's voice over the speaker of the answering machine.
"Unca Harm? Mommy, he's not there." He heard little AJ say.
"It's ok sweetie...he'll hear what you say...go ahead." Harriet said gently to her son.
"Unca Harm....you comin to my party? I'm five today and I want my unca Harm here. Mommy said you can...can't be here, but mebbe if I ask you'll come? Please unca Harm?" AJ's plaintive little voice said over the speaker.
"Remember Co...Harm...it's at two o'clock." Harriet said into the answering machine and then he heard the thing click off as she hung up.
Cursing Harm sunk down into his couch and lowered his head to his hands. Couldn't they see he was trying to protect them? Trying to save them the hurt that would inevitably come from knowing him again? Why did they keep trying to invite him back into their lives? Their lives; her life wasn't a place for him anymore.
With a deep sigh Harm moved back into his bedroom where he finished wrapping AJ's gifts. He wasn't looking forward to seeing anyone that was going to be at the party...not even his godson. As much as he wanted to, Harm just couldn't think that AJ would be happy to see him. It had been almost a year since he'd seen the little guy, and children can pick up on the feelings of those around them without knowing how they did it. There was no doubt that AJ would be a mirror of what the Admiral, Bud and Harriet, Mac, Sturgis, and Jennifer were all feeling. That Harm had left them...that he'd turned his back on them all.
Putting the gifts on the table by the door, Harm walked into the kitchen. Maybe a beer would help his mood; it couldn't hurt. Reaching into the fridge Harm pulled out a bottle and cracked it. With a sigh he took a long swallow from it and then set the bottle on the counter. Was this what his life had come down to? Cutting himself out of the lives of those who cared for him? He couldn't even remember the last time he'd talked to his mother or Frank. Beth and Allison where the only contact he had with other people outside work...and after the incident in Spain, he was in the process of cutting himself out of their lives now as well. He'd let his guard down, had gotten too close, and now Beth had seen him at his weakest. He couldn't be reminded of that when he needed to focus on a job. Well, no one ever promised him that being a spy would bring lots of friendship and comfort. Picking up the beer Harm took another pull from the bottle.
The ring of his phone penetrated the fog of Harm's thoughts, when the machine picked up he heard Webb's voice on the speaker.
"Ghost. Be at the office at noon tomorrow."
Well, that was something at least. After a week he was itching to go back out, somewhere; anywhere. He wondered what the assignment would be this time. Setting his now empty beer bottle down on the table, he walked over to grab the gifts for AJ. He would view this as an assignment, nothing more. It was an op to him; get in, deliver the gifts, and get out. Hell maybe he could even get in and get out without anyone seeing him. That way he wouldn't have to speak to anyone else and save them, and him, the pain such a conversation would surely cause.
An hour later Harm pulled his bike up a block away from the Roberts' house. He saw a lot of cars he recognized, and a few he didn't. After he killed the engine and got off the bike Harm undid the straps holding AJ's presents to the back of his seat. Taking the wrapped boxes in hand, he slowly started towards the house. He wasn't sure how many times during that short walk he was almost overcome with the desire to turn around and leave, but he couldn't. Not this time. Walking past the Admiral's SUV, Sturgis' car, Mac's corvette, and Bud and Harriet's van, Harm finally reached the front porch. Listening at the door he could hear sounds of the party drifting from the backyard, but nothing from inside the house. Good, maybe he could pull this off. Quietly, Harm opened the front door and stepped inside. Careful to keep away from rooms with window views to the backyard, Harm reached the dining room where Harriet always kept the colorfully wrapped boxes that everyone brought for the birthday boy. Setting his own boxes down on the table with the others, Harm's eyes were drawn to one gift that bore a card with Mac's unmistakable handwriting on it.
Harm was suddenly hit with the realization that this was AJ's fifth birthday. It had been five years since he and Mac had made their deal on the front steps of JAG Headquarters. Well, Harm figured he wasn't in any serious relationships, unless you count his job or his weapons, but word was that Mac and Webb were getting pretty serious. With a sigh Harm moved to the edge of the doorway leading into the kitchen to see if he could see her out in the backyard. Just one look and then he'd go he promised himself.
Suddenly he saw her, standing with the Admiral and Bud as they watched AJ play with his friends. Her hair was down, and was even longer than he thought it was when he saw her in Iraq. The way it framed her face caused his breath to catch; if possible she was even more beautiful every time he saw her. And she would never be his, would never know why he disappeared. She could never know. Slowly Harm forced himself to turn away. It was then that he realized that there was dampness on his cheeks.
Reaching up he was in the process of wiping the silent tears away when he heard a glass hit the floor and shatter. "Commander! Harm! You made it. Oh AJ will be just thrilled."
Damn it, he had to stop and watch Mac didn't he? Why couldn't he just get in, drop the gifts off, and leave like he planned? Turning, Harm nodded to Harriet where she stood looking down at the broken glass on the floor and up at him. "Hello Harriet."
"Harmon Rabb. Is that the best you can do? 'Hello Harriet'? I haven't seen you in almost a year and all you say is hello? Give me a hug!" Harriet stepped over the broken glass before Harm could react.
Stepping out of Harriet's embrace Harm nodded to the broken glass. "I'll clean that up before any of the kids come in." Harm said nervously.
Harriet was shocked when Harm didn't return her hug, stepping away as fast as he could. Blinking she just nodded as he crouched down to pick up the glass.
"Harriet, sweetie I heard something break. Are you o...Commander!" Bud said as he walked into the kitchen from the backyard.
Standing up with the larger pieces of glass in his hand Harm nodded coolly at his younger friend. "Bud. And it's Harm now. Garbage can?" he asked holding up the glass.
"Right over there, sir. Would you like something to drink Harm?" Bud asked nervously. He'd seen Harm closed off before, but never like this. And something had obviously happened before he came in because Harriet looked close to tears.
"Not unless you've got beer." Harm said absently as he dropped the glass into the garbage can. As his own words echoed in his head Harm cursed himself silently.
"Uhhh...we've got root beer, sir." Bud nervously held up a can from the counter.
"That's alright Bud...I should probably get going anyway." Harm looked down as he scuffed his foot along the floor.
"But you just got here, sir." Harriet said in a hurry. "Everyone would love to see you."
"I'm not so sure about that Harriet..." Harm shrugged his shoulders as the screen door opened behind him. He knew she was there even before she said anything.
"Harriet, AJ wants some more...." Mac suddenly stopped as she caught site of the man in the kitchen with Harriet and Bud.
"Hi Mac." Harm didn't even turn around when he said it.
"Bud grab those cans, we should get this stuff outside again." Harriet poked her husband in the ribs to get his attention.
"Uhh right honey." Bud picked up the indicated cans. "Sir, ma'am."
"Bud, Harriet." Harm nodded slightly as they left.
"You made it." Mac said quietly as she walked through the kitchen to stand in front of Harm.
"It was a mistake. I was just going to leave." Harm nervously cracked the knuckles on his right hand.
"But you haven't seen AJ yet." Mac pleaded. She hated that he'd reduced her to pleading with him.
"I don't know if that would be a good idea, Mac."
"Why not? All day he's been asking where you are, when you're getting here. He told me Harriet let him leave a message on your machine...well not in so many words, but you know..." Mac knew she was rambling. What was it about this man that made her do that.
"I know. I was there."
"Why didn't you pick up when they called?"
"It's easier not to."
"It's easier to what? Not talk to your friends? Make them worry about you? Make me cry at night?"
"Easier to keep you all out of my world. You don't want to be in my world Mac...it's not a nice place to be. Fuck! I knew I should have sent these presents by courier."
"Harmon Rabb! Watch your language, there are children around." Mac scolded him. Inside she was shocked at his language again. First in Iraq, now here. Mac had never heard Harm swear before.
Before Harm could reply the screen door was thrown open and a blond tornado came running into the kitchen. "UNCA HARM!" AJ screamed as he wrapped his arms around Harm's legs.
Biting his lip Harm looked down at his godson for a moment before finally steeling himself to pick the child up. "Hey buddy." He greeted the boy quietly.
"Where you been unca Harm? I was four when I saw you."
"And now you're five, aren't you buddy?"
"Uh-huh. I missed you unca Harm." AJ said as he wrapped his arms around Harm's neck in a hug.
"Well I missed you too buddy." Harm fought the tears he felt building up in his eyes. He couldn't give in, he needed to get away.
Setting AJ down on the ground Harm crouched down so he could look him in the eyes. "Listen buddy...I have to get going. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my favorite sailor." Harm fought the break he felt forming in his voice. Biting his lip he did his best to smile for AJ but knew it was a poor attempt.
"Why unca Harm? I have to open presents still." AJ said with confusion in his voice.
"I need to go to work buddy."
"Why? Mommy and daddy are here, aunt Mac is here, grandpa is here. Why do you have to work when they're here?"
"I don't work with them anymore buddy. I work for some other people now."
"I don't like them." AJ stamped his little foot.
"Neither do I." Mac knelt down and wrapped AJ in a hug as she looked up at Harm with her beautiful brown eyes. "AJ sweetie, why don't you go play with your friends?"
"I want to see unca Harm."
"I need to talk to your uncle Harm honey. Please go play with your friends?"
"Okay aunt Mac." AJ agreed reluctantly. When he got to the screen door he turned to look at the adults in the kitchen. "I love you unca Harm. I love you aunt Mac."
"We love you too sailor." Mac said softly. When AJ was gone she turned back to look at Harm. "Why would you walk away from that?"
With a snort Harm looked at Mac incredulously. "I didn't walk away; I just found myself alone."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh come on, don't play that game with me Mac. As I told the Admiral, I didn't leave. JAG left me behind."
"When did you talk to the Admiral?" Mac asked in shock. She was sure the Admiral would have told her if he'd spoken with Harm. She asked him every day.
"Before my last op." Harm waved absently. "Look, the point is, I found a new life when I was forced to."
"How can you say that? Forced to?"
"Whatever. Mac, go back outside with your friends. Have fun, enjoy the party. I need to get going and I don't have time to argue with you."
"Why what's so important? Got a hot date?" she asked sarcastically.
"No. Look Mac, you don't want me around, you don't know what's happened to me."
"I would if you told me." Mac replied angrily.
"You wouldn't understand. Damn it Sarah, I'm not who I was. I've become one of the lost."
Mac almost let out a small cry when he used her given name. He rarely used it and when he did her heart skipped a beat. No man had ever said her name the way he did. "One of the what?"
"Why don't you ask Webb about that? He likes to try and pull my strings." Harm turned away and strode over to the door leading to the main hallway. "Go outside, be with Webb, be with your friends. Goodbye Sarah."
With his last words echoing in her mind Mac rushed out to the hallway to find the front door still standing open. Stepping out onto the front porch she saw him walking down the street to his motorcycle. Before she could move he'd pulled on the helmet and fired up the engine. Without a glance in her direction he was gone, driving off down the street. "I'm not with Webb." she breathed as she watched him drive off once more.
Chapter 10
It had been a week since he returned from Spain, and Webb's threat of him being 'done' had garnered nothing. Harm had been in the office at the time Webb asked Kershaw to fire him. In the middle of being debriefed, Harm simply stormed out. Kershaw just shook his head and made some comment about childish rivalries.
Beth had called nineteen times so far this week asking to get together, but Harm just couldn't face her, not after that night. He couldn't believe that he let her see him so weak, so out of control. Funny, no matter what he did he ended up in a job where control was everything, in the air, in the courtroom, and now in the deep dark spook world.
Harm shook his head and looked down at the carved figures on the bed before him. Toys that he had brought back for AJ and his brother Jimmy...toys for AJ's party, which according to the message Harriet left on his answering machine, was happening today. Ever since that fiasco in Iraq, people at JAG had renewed their telephone campaign requesting he contact them. Bud and Harriet weren't too bad, the worst were Mac and Sturgis. In a twisted sort of way, he thought that made sense. After all it was Mac and Sturgis he saw in Iraq, not Bud and Harriet. They were just going on rumors, while Mac and Sturgis knew he was around.
He should just mail these, hire a courier to take them over today. He shouldn't go...there was nothing there for him. What would he do? Swap office stories with Bud and Sturgis? Oh...you're working on a sexual harassment court-martial? Interesting....me? Oh I killed six terrorists in the last month...month before that was up to seventy from what I'm told. Broke a guy's neck last week and shot his friend between the eyes. Why? Oh...that's need to know guys.
Of course they'd look at it like he's doing his part in defending his country from terrorists, but deep down they'd feel the way Mac did. They'd look at him the same way. He couldn't think about how Mac looked at him in that café in Iraq.
The ringing of the phone pulled him away from his thoughts. With a quick decision he stood and walked down the stairs to the living room but let the phone ring. Eventually his machine picked up.
"This is Rabb, I'm not available right now but if you leave a message I'll get back to you when I can." He heard his own voice say, in a much too cheerful tone.
"Harm...it's Harriet. I just wanted to phone and confirm that AJ's party is today at fourteen hundred...I mean two o'clock. Also someone here wants to say something to you." Harm heard Harriet's voice over the speaker of the answering machine.
"Unca Harm? Mommy, he's not there." He heard little AJ say.
"It's ok sweetie...he'll hear what you say...go ahead." Harriet said gently to her son.
"Unca Harm....you comin to my party? I'm five today and I want my unca Harm here. Mommy said you can...can't be here, but mebbe if I ask you'll come? Please unca Harm?" AJ's plaintive little voice said over the speaker.
"Remember Co...Harm...it's at two o'clock." Harriet said into the answering machine and then he heard the thing click off as she hung up.
Cursing Harm sunk down into his couch and lowered his head to his hands. Couldn't they see he was trying to protect them? Trying to save them the hurt that would inevitably come from knowing him again? Why did they keep trying to invite him back into their lives? Their lives; her life wasn't a place for him anymore.
With a deep sigh Harm moved back into his bedroom where he finished wrapping AJ's gifts. He wasn't looking forward to seeing anyone that was going to be at the party...not even his godson. As much as he wanted to, Harm just couldn't think that AJ would be happy to see him. It had been almost a year since he'd seen the little guy, and children can pick up on the feelings of those around them without knowing how they did it. There was no doubt that AJ would be a mirror of what the Admiral, Bud and Harriet, Mac, Sturgis, and Jennifer were all feeling. That Harm had left them...that he'd turned his back on them all.
Putting the gifts on the table by the door, Harm walked into the kitchen. Maybe a beer would help his mood; it couldn't hurt. Reaching into the fridge Harm pulled out a bottle and cracked it. With a sigh he took a long swallow from it and then set the bottle on the counter. Was this what his life had come down to? Cutting himself out of the lives of those who cared for him? He couldn't even remember the last time he'd talked to his mother or Frank. Beth and Allison where the only contact he had with other people outside work...and after the incident in Spain, he was in the process of cutting himself out of their lives now as well. He'd let his guard down, had gotten too close, and now Beth had seen him at his weakest. He couldn't be reminded of that when he needed to focus on a job. Well, no one ever promised him that being a spy would bring lots of friendship and comfort. Picking up the beer Harm took another pull from the bottle.
The ring of his phone penetrated the fog of Harm's thoughts, when the machine picked up he heard Webb's voice on the speaker.
"Ghost. Be at the office at noon tomorrow."
Well, that was something at least. After a week he was itching to go back out, somewhere; anywhere. He wondered what the assignment would be this time. Setting his now empty beer bottle down on the table, he walked over to grab the gifts for AJ. He would view this as an assignment, nothing more. It was an op to him; get in, deliver the gifts, and get out. Hell maybe he could even get in and get out without anyone seeing him. That way he wouldn't have to speak to anyone else and save them, and him, the pain such a conversation would surely cause.
An hour later Harm pulled his bike up a block away from the Roberts' house. He saw a lot of cars he recognized, and a few he didn't. After he killed the engine and got off the bike Harm undid the straps holding AJ's presents to the back of his seat. Taking the wrapped boxes in hand, he slowly started towards the house. He wasn't sure how many times during that short walk he was almost overcome with the desire to turn around and leave, but he couldn't. Not this time. Walking past the Admiral's SUV, Sturgis' car, Mac's corvette, and Bud and Harriet's van, Harm finally reached the front porch. Listening at the door he could hear sounds of the party drifting from the backyard, but nothing from inside the house. Good, maybe he could pull this off. Quietly, Harm opened the front door and stepped inside. Careful to keep away from rooms with window views to the backyard, Harm reached the dining room where Harriet always kept the colorfully wrapped boxes that everyone brought for the birthday boy. Setting his own boxes down on the table with the others, Harm's eyes were drawn to one gift that bore a card with Mac's unmistakable handwriting on it.
Harm was suddenly hit with the realization that this was AJ's fifth birthday. It had been five years since he and Mac had made their deal on the front steps of JAG Headquarters. Well, Harm figured he wasn't in any serious relationships, unless you count his job or his weapons, but word was that Mac and Webb were getting pretty serious. With a sigh Harm moved to the edge of the doorway leading into the kitchen to see if he could see her out in the backyard. Just one look and then he'd go he promised himself.
Suddenly he saw her, standing with the Admiral and Bud as they watched AJ play with his friends. Her hair was down, and was even longer than he thought it was when he saw her in Iraq. The way it framed her face caused his breath to catch; if possible she was even more beautiful every time he saw her. And she would never be his, would never know why he disappeared. She could never know. Slowly Harm forced himself to turn away. It was then that he realized that there was dampness on his cheeks.
Reaching up he was in the process of wiping the silent tears away when he heard a glass hit the floor and shatter. "Commander! Harm! You made it. Oh AJ will be just thrilled."
Damn it, he had to stop and watch Mac didn't he? Why couldn't he just get in, drop the gifts off, and leave like he planned? Turning, Harm nodded to Harriet where she stood looking down at the broken glass on the floor and up at him. "Hello Harriet."
"Harmon Rabb. Is that the best you can do? 'Hello Harriet'? I haven't seen you in almost a year and all you say is hello? Give me a hug!" Harriet stepped over the broken glass before Harm could react.
Stepping out of Harriet's embrace Harm nodded to the broken glass. "I'll clean that up before any of the kids come in." Harm said nervously.
Harriet was shocked when Harm didn't return her hug, stepping away as fast as he could. Blinking she just nodded as he crouched down to pick up the glass.
"Harriet, sweetie I heard something break. Are you o...Commander!" Bud said as he walked into the kitchen from the backyard.
Standing up with the larger pieces of glass in his hand Harm nodded coolly at his younger friend. "Bud. And it's Harm now. Garbage can?" he asked holding up the glass.
"Right over there, sir. Would you like something to drink Harm?" Bud asked nervously. He'd seen Harm closed off before, but never like this. And something had obviously happened before he came in because Harriet looked close to tears.
"Not unless you've got beer." Harm said absently as he dropped the glass into the garbage can. As his own words echoed in his head Harm cursed himself silently.
"Uhhh...we've got root beer, sir." Bud nervously held up a can from the counter.
"That's alright Bud...I should probably get going anyway." Harm looked down as he scuffed his foot along the floor.
"But you just got here, sir." Harriet said in a hurry. "Everyone would love to see you."
"I'm not so sure about that Harriet..." Harm shrugged his shoulders as the screen door opened behind him. He knew she was there even before she said anything.
"Harriet, AJ wants some more...." Mac suddenly stopped as she caught site of the man in the kitchen with Harriet and Bud.
"Hi Mac." Harm didn't even turn around when he said it.
"Bud grab those cans, we should get this stuff outside again." Harriet poked her husband in the ribs to get his attention.
"Uhh right honey." Bud picked up the indicated cans. "Sir, ma'am."
"Bud, Harriet." Harm nodded slightly as they left.
"You made it." Mac said quietly as she walked through the kitchen to stand in front of Harm.
"It was a mistake. I was just going to leave." Harm nervously cracked the knuckles on his right hand.
"But you haven't seen AJ yet." Mac pleaded. She hated that he'd reduced her to pleading with him.
"I don't know if that would be a good idea, Mac."
"Why not? All day he's been asking where you are, when you're getting here. He told me Harriet let him leave a message on your machine...well not in so many words, but you know..." Mac knew she was rambling. What was it about this man that made her do that.
"I know. I was there."
"Why didn't you pick up when they called?"
"It's easier not to."
"It's easier to what? Not talk to your friends? Make them worry about you? Make me cry at night?"
"Easier to keep you all out of my world. You don't want to be in my world Mac...it's not a nice place to be. Fuck! I knew I should have sent these presents by courier."
"Harmon Rabb! Watch your language, there are children around." Mac scolded him. Inside she was shocked at his language again. First in Iraq, now here. Mac had never heard Harm swear before.
Before Harm could reply the screen door was thrown open and a blond tornado came running into the kitchen. "UNCA HARM!" AJ screamed as he wrapped his arms around Harm's legs.
Biting his lip Harm looked down at his godson for a moment before finally steeling himself to pick the child up. "Hey buddy." He greeted the boy quietly.
"Where you been unca Harm? I was four when I saw you."
"And now you're five, aren't you buddy?"
"Uh-huh. I missed you unca Harm." AJ said as he wrapped his arms around Harm's neck in a hug.
"Well I missed you too buddy." Harm fought the tears he felt building up in his eyes. He couldn't give in, he needed to get away.
Setting AJ down on the ground Harm crouched down so he could look him in the eyes. "Listen buddy...I have to get going. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my favorite sailor." Harm fought the break he felt forming in his voice. Biting his lip he did his best to smile for AJ but knew it was a poor attempt.
"Why unca Harm? I have to open presents still." AJ said with confusion in his voice.
"I need to go to work buddy."
"Why? Mommy and daddy are here, aunt Mac is here, grandpa is here. Why do you have to work when they're here?"
"I don't work with them anymore buddy. I work for some other people now."
"I don't like them." AJ stamped his little foot.
"Neither do I." Mac knelt down and wrapped AJ in a hug as she looked up at Harm with her beautiful brown eyes. "AJ sweetie, why don't you go play with your friends?"
"I want to see unca Harm."
"I need to talk to your uncle Harm honey. Please go play with your friends?"
"Okay aunt Mac." AJ agreed reluctantly. When he got to the screen door he turned to look at the adults in the kitchen. "I love you unca Harm. I love you aunt Mac."
"We love you too sailor." Mac said softly. When AJ was gone she turned back to look at Harm. "Why would you walk away from that?"
With a snort Harm looked at Mac incredulously. "I didn't walk away; I just found myself alone."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh come on, don't play that game with me Mac. As I told the Admiral, I didn't leave. JAG left me behind."
"When did you talk to the Admiral?" Mac asked in shock. She was sure the Admiral would have told her if he'd spoken with Harm. She asked him every day.
"Before my last op." Harm waved absently. "Look, the point is, I found a new life when I was forced to."
"How can you say that? Forced to?"
"Whatever. Mac, go back outside with your friends. Have fun, enjoy the party. I need to get going and I don't have time to argue with you."
"Why what's so important? Got a hot date?" she asked sarcastically.
"No. Look Mac, you don't want me around, you don't know what's happened to me."
"I would if you told me." Mac replied angrily.
"You wouldn't understand. Damn it Sarah, I'm not who I was. I've become one of the lost."
Mac almost let out a small cry when he used her given name. He rarely used it and when he did her heart skipped a beat. No man had ever said her name the way he did. "One of the what?"
"Why don't you ask Webb about that? He likes to try and pull my strings." Harm turned away and strode over to the door leading to the main hallway. "Go outside, be with Webb, be with your friends. Goodbye Sarah."
With his last words echoing in her mind Mac rushed out to the hallway to find the front door still standing open. Stepping out onto the front porch she saw him walking down the street to his motorcycle. Before she could move he'd pulled on the helmet and fired up the engine. Without a glance in her direction he was gone, driving off down the street. "I'm not with Webb." she breathed as she watched him drive off once more.