A Man Called Ghost
Chapter 16
Harm slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus on his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was what? The complex in Iraq. The hostages. Gunny on a helicopter. Looking around, he sighed. A hospital by the looks of it, and if the whirring and beeping of equipment was any indication, someone thought he was in trouble. Weakly, he reached up to pull off the probes when a voice stopped him. "I wouldn't do that Rabb. From what I've heard your nurse is something of a force of nature."
Gingerly, Harm turned his head toward the voice. "Webb."
"Welcome back to the land of the living Rabb. I must say, when you fuck up, you don't do it half way, do you?" Clayton Webb said with a smirk.
"What are you..." Harm started as he tried to shift his position. Suddenly pain racked his whole body and he left off with a muted scream.
"Mind yourself Rabb. Doctors are saying you're going to be in pain for awhile. Burns and multiple fragmentation wounds, nasty business."
"What do you want Webb?" Harm asked once the pain had subsided.
"Well, to be honest, I'm here to debrief you as soon as you feel up to it." Webb said, taking a seat beside the bed. "Whenever you're ready."
"Can't this wait Spider?"
"I'll be here. Just call out when you're ready."
The doctor took the moment Harm was glaring at Webb to enter the room. "Well, how's the hero today?"
"Not feeling all that damn heroic." Harm muttered bitterly.
"Well, Agent Rabb, I can see how you'd be saying that. How much do you know of your injuries?"
"I know they fucking hurt."
"I'm sure they do. Right now we've got you on a morphine drip, that should help with the pain..."
"Is that wise?" Harm questioned.
"I realize you may want to be brave and heroic, Agent Rabb, but trust me, it's for the best. What are you doing in here Agent Webb? I told you I would come and get you when Agent Rabb is well enough for you to poke and prod him. Get out."
"Doctor..."
"Besides, Agent Webb, there are some people to see Agent Rabb, and I am told you are the one they need to get clearance from."
"Who are they?" Webb asked, as he opened the door.
"Me." Admiral Chegwidden said, barging in past Webb.
"AJ, what are you doing here?" Webb asked in shock at the same time Harm muttered, "Oh shit."
"A little birdie told me about Mr. Rabb here. Thought I'd come by." He said, a little louder than he probably should have.
"I'll bet it did." Webb snapped back, seeing Gunny standing in the hall behind the Admiral with Mac. "Victor, Sarah."
"Mr. Webb. Sorry about this, but they had to know." Gunny said, his lips tight, looking like the marine he was, ready to stand his ground.
"Alright, this is quite enough. All of you, out." The doctor said throwing his hands up. "Out!"
"Excuse me, Commander?" Admiral Chegwidden asked.
"It's obvious there's more going on here than a friendly visit and I am not going to let you have your cock fight here, he needs his rest. Everyone out. You can settle this somewhere else." The doctor said making shooing motions, then turned back to Harm. "Agent Rabb, try to get some sleep please. It really is the best cure for anything."
After the doctor shoved everyone out into the hallway, Harm heard voices raised in an argument. Both the Admiral and Mac were shouting at Webb and Harm couldn't help but smile. Closing his eyes he tried to give in to sleep once more, but wasn't having much success. He heard the door open and close softly and knew she was there even without opening his eyes.
"Why are you here?" he asked when she didn't say anything. Opening his eyes he saw her sitting in the chair next to his bed with worry plain in her eyes.
Licking her lips nervously, Mac just looked at Harm. She knew he'd lost weight from seeing him at Bud and Harriet's, but he was even skinnier now. She could see where his skin looked raw and tender on his arms, and the dressing that was bandaged over his left shoulder. Fighting back her tears, Mac tried to smile. "Someone had to come tell you how stupid you were."
"And you decided that should be you. Great. Thanks. Mission accomplished. Please leave." Harm sighed bitterly. This was exactly why he'd tried to break off communication with those at JAG. He knew one day he had a chance of ending up like this, or worse, and he didn't want them to see it.
"Can't do that. The Admiral ordered me to come in and not to leave until he told me to." Mac tried again. "Harm, I don't know where to start."
"Then don't, we've done all of our talking Mac."
"Maybe I've got more to say."
"Then say it to Webb. He can't tell me enough about how much you say to him." Harm spat.
"He what?"
"Oh before every mission, every time I see him he can't stop singing your praises. Shouldn't you be with him right now?"
"Oh he does, does he? I'll deal with him later," she practically sneered before refocusing her attention on Harm. "I'm here to see you, not him."
"Why? What am I to you?"
Before Mac could answer the doctor came into the room again. "Sorry to interrupt, but I didn't get a chance to check those stitches before, thanks to Agent Webb. I'm going to roll you over Agent Rabb, I'm sorry but it's going to hurt."
While Mac watched, the doctor gently rolled Harm over on to his stomach and opened the back of his gown. She couldn't help but gasp when she saw the patchwork of stitches and lacerations all over Harm's back.
"There's still some seepage from the stitches Agent Rabb, but they seem to be clean. Let's check that leg of yours next." The doctor said as he pulled down the blankets and slowly unwrapped the bandage from around Harm's leg. "We're going to go back into surgery tomorrow to try and repair some more of the muscle damage you did to this leg. I'm afraid you've got a long recovery period for that particular number; I see a lot of rehab in your future."
Mac couldn't hold it in anymore and quickly stood up and started pacing the room, looking everywhere but at Harm.
"You never did answer my question Agent Rabb, what do you know of your injuries?"
"I hurt all over doc, it would probably be quicker if you told me what you know." Harm grunted against the pain.
"Well, you had some burns when they brought you in, but they weren't as serious as they looked. You had a great deal of shrapnel removed from your back before you were shipped stateside. The most serious problem is your leg, sir. You managed to tear and shred a good deal of the muscle. We've had you in the operating room twice already to repair some of the damage, but we're going to have to go back in a few more times before we get it all. As I mentioned, that will be followed by a long period of rehab."
"Is that all?" Harm asked, unconsciously echoing Mac's question of the Gunny.
"Pretty much. You were mighty beat up when they brought you in, but your back and your leg are our main concerns. Do you have any questions?"
"When can I get out of here?"
"It won't be for awhile Agent Rabb. I'm sorry, I know it's not much fun to be laying in that bed for an extended period of time, but it really is for the best. I'll leave you to rest now. Colonel, please don't stay too long. Agent Rabb needs to get some sleep."
"I've been out of it for days, Doc." Harm spat tersely.
"And I'm starting to think I should have kept you out of it a little longer, but Agent Webb insisted. Don't argue with me on this.
"Yes, sir." Harm said ruefully. No matter where he went, someone from the Navy felt the need to order him around.
With a slight nod, the doctor smiled at Mac and then left. Harm couldn't blame him for smiling at her, hell it was all he could do not to. Whenever she was around he had trouble holding on to his anger, his bitterness. If only he could make her see that her loyalty was misplaced and ill-timed. She'd be happier out of his life.
"What was that?" Mac asked, coming to a stop in her pacing.
"What was what?" Harm asked as he struggled to turn over again.
"Here, let me help you." Mac rushed to his side and gently gathered the gown behind him. Softly she ran her hand over his back, brushing her fingertips over his stitches and the newborn scars. "Oh Harm, your poor back. What did you do to yourself this time?"
Harm tried to ignore the feelings that came rushing back as Mac danced her fingers over his back, immediately forcing them back where they belonged, hidden away, buried.
"Thought I was far enough away to trigger the charges. Guess I was wrong." Harm said with a lame single shoulder shrug.
"Why didn't you move to what you knew was a safe distance?" Mac asked gently as she tied his gown and helped him roll over onto his back.
"Well, people were pumping bullets into me, I couldn't run any further, and, oh yeah, they were shooting at two unarmed people with me as well." Harm said with a bitter laugh.
"Gunny told me about the two hostages you rescued." Mac said with pride in her voice.
"Gunny says too much. He should know better than to talk about the kind of ops I get."
"Harm, he just knew that we'd be worried." Mac sat down again in the chair next to Harm's bed.
"Well don't be. I'll be fine, thanks for coming." Harm said closing his eyes.
"Harm you just bitched the doctor out because you've been asleep for days." Mac reminded him gently.
Harm simply grunted in response.
"Now what did you mean about 'she'd be happier out of his life'?"
With a sharp intake of breath Harm opened his eyes and looked at her. He didn't say that out loud, damn it, he did. "Look Mac, go. Be with Webb, be happy."
"Don't you think I can determine what will make me happy, Harm?" Mac asked heatedly.
"You did. At the taxi-stand." Harm said, closing his eyes once more. "Mac, for the friendship we once had, please leave? Just leave me be."
"Why are you doing this Harm? Why are you shutting me out?" Mac asked plaintively, emotion rising in her voice.
"Damn it Mac, just go. I don't need you here." Harm's voice rose, his glare boring a hole through her.
"Why? You said you wanted me to be happy, this is where I want to be. Where I need to be."
"JUST GO!" Harm shouted at her.
"Harm, please." Mac was not going to let herself cry, but she wasn't beyond begging.
Closing his eyes tightly, "NOW!" Harm shouted more loudly, this time gesturing to the door with his good arm.
"Fine." Standing up, Mac struggled to keep her voice steady, barely holding back her tears. When she reached the door, she stopped to look over her shoulder at the man in the hospital bed. "But I'll be back." She vowed under her breath, too low for him to hear.
Hearing the door slam, Harm sighed. Without a sound, he let the tears he'd been holding back fall down his cheeks. "Damn, I need a drink." He muttered to himself.
Chapter 16
Harm slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus on his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was what? The complex in Iraq. The hostages. Gunny on a helicopter. Looking around, he sighed. A hospital by the looks of it, and if the whirring and beeping of equipment was any indication, someone thought he was in trouble. Weakly, he reached up to pull off the probes when a voice stopped him. "I wouldn't do that Rabb. From what I've heard your nurse is something of a force of nature."
Gingerly, Harm turned his head toward the voice. "Webb."
"Welcome back to the land of the living Rabb. I must say, when you fuck up, you don't do it half way, do you?" Clayton Webb said with a smirk.
"What are you..." Harm started as he tried to shift his position. Suddenly pain racked his whole body and he left off with a muted scream.
"Mind yourself Rabb. Doctors are saying you're going to be in pain for awhile. Burns and multiple fragmentation wounds, nasty business."
"What do you want Webb?" Harm asked once the pain had subsided.
"Well, to be honest, I'm here to debrief you as soon as you feel up to it." Webb said, taking a seat beside the bed. "Whenever you're ready."
"Can't this wait Spider?"
"I'll be here. Just call out when you're ready."
The doctor took the moment Harm was glaring at Webb to enter the room. "Well, how's the hero today?"
"Not feeling all that damn heroic." Harm muttered bitterly.
"Well, Agent Rabb, I can see how you'd be saying that. How much do you know of your injuries?"
"I know they fucking hurt."
"I'm sure they do. Right now we've got you on a morphine drip, that should help with the pain..."
"Is that wise?" Harm questioned.
"I realize you may want to be brave and heroic, Agent Rabb, but trust me, it's for the best. What are you doing in here Agent Webb? I told you I would come and get you when Agent Rabb is well enough for you to poke and prod him. Get out."
"Doctor..."
"Besides, Agent Webb, there are some people to see Agent Rabb, and I am told you are the one they need to get clearance from."
"Who are they?" Webb asked, as he opened the door.
"Me." Admiral Chegwidden said, barging in past Webb.
"AJ, what are you doing here?" Webb asked in shock at the same time Harm muttered, "Oh shit."
"A little birdie told me about Mr. Rabb here. Thought I'd come by." He said, a little louder than he probably should have.
"I'll bet it did." Webb snapped back, seeing Gunny standing in the hall behind the Admiral with Mac. "Victor, Sarah."
"Mr. Webb. Sorry about this, but they had to know." Gunny said, his lips tight, looking like the marine he was, ready to stand his ground.
"Alright, this is quite enough. All of you, out." The doctor said throwing his hands up. "Out!"
"Excuse me, Commander?" Admiral Chegwidden asked.
"It's obvious there's more going on here than a friendly visit and I am not going to let you have your cock fight here, he needs his rest. Everyone out. You can settle this somewhere else." The doctor said making shooing motions, then turned back to Harm. "Agent Rabb, try to get some sleep please. It really is the best cure for anything."
After the doctor shoved everyone out into the hallway, Harm heard voices raised in an argument. Both the Admiral and Mac were shouting at Webb and Harm couldn't help but smile. Closing his eyes he tried to give in to sleep once more, but wasn't having much success. He heard the door open and close softly and knew she was there even without opening his eyes.
"Why are you here?" he asked when she didn't say anything. Opening his eyes he saw her sitting in the chair next to his bed with worry plain in her eyes.
Licking her lips nervously, Mac just looked at Harm. She knew he'd lost weight from seeing him at Bud and Harriet's, but he was even skinnier now. She could see where his skin looked raw and tender on his arms, and the dressing that was bandaged over his left shoulder. Fighting back her tears, Mac tried to smile. "Someone had to come tell you how stupid you were."
"And you decided that should be you. Great. Thanks. Mission accomplished. Please leave." Harm sighed bitterly. This was exactly why he'd tried to break off communication with those at JAG. He knew one day he had a chance of ending up like this, or worse, and he didn't want them to see it.
"Can't do that. The Admiral ordered me to come in and not to leave until he told me to." Mac tried again. "Harm, I don't know where to start."
"Then don't, we've done all of our talking Mac."
"Maybe I've got more to say."
"Then say it to Webb. He can't tell me enough about how much you say to him." Harm spat.
"He what?"
"Oh before every mission, every time I see him he can't stop singing your praises. Shouldn't you be with him right now?"
"Oh he does, does he? I'll deal with him later," she practically sneered before refocusing her attention on Harm. "I'm here to see you, not him."
"Why? What am I to you?"
Before Mac could answer the doctor came into the room again. "Sorry to interrupt, but I didn't get a chance to check those stitches before, thanks to Agent Webb. I'm going to roll you over Agent Rabb, I'm sorry but it's going to hurt."
While Mac watched, the doctor gently rolled Harm over on to his stomach and opened the back of his gown. She couldn't help but gasp when she saw the patchwork of stitches and lacerations all over Harm's back.
"There's still some seepage from the stitches Agent Rabb, but they seem to be clean. Let's check that leg of yours next." The doctor said as he pulled down the blankets and slowly unwrapped the bandage from around Harm's leg. "We're going to go back into surgery tomorrow to try and repair some more of the muscle damage you did to this leg. I'm afraid you've got a long recovery period for that particular number; I see a lot of rehab in your future."
Mac couldn't hold it in anymore and quickly stood up and started pacing the room, looking everywhere but at Harm.
"You never did answer my question Agent Rabb, what do you know of your injuries?"
"I hurt all over doc, it would probably be quicker if you told me what you know." Harm grunted against the pain.
"Well, you had some burns when they brought you in, but they weren't as serious as they looked. You had a great deal of shrapnel removed from your back before you were shipped stateside. The most serious problem is your leg, sir. You managed to tear and shred a good deal of the muscle. We've had you in the operating room twice already to repair some of the damage, but we're going to have to go back in a few more times before we get it all. As I mentioned, that will be followed by a long period of rehab."
"Is that all?" Harm asked, unconsciously echoing Mac's question of the Gunny.
"Pretty much. You were mighty beat up when they brought you in, but your back and your leg are our main concerns. Do you have any questions?"
"When can I get out of here?"
"It won't be for awhile Agent Rabb. I'm sorry, I know it's not much fun to be laying in that bed for an extended period of time, but it really is for the best. I'll leave you to rest now. Colonel, please don't stay too long. Agent Rabb needs to get some sleep."
"I've been out of it for days, Doc." Harm spat tersely.
"And I'm starting to think I should have kept you out of it a little longer, but Agent Webb insisted. Don't argue with me on this.
"Yes, sir." Harm said ruefully. No matter where he went, someone from the Navy felt the need to order him around.
With a slight nod, the doctor smiled at Mac and then left. Harm couldn't blame him for smiling at her, hell it was all he could do not to. Whenever she was around he had trouble holding on to his anger, his bitterness. If only he could make her see that her loyalty was misplaced and ill-timed. She'd be happier out of his life.
"What was that?" Mac asked, coming to a stop in her pacing.
"What was what?" Harm asked as he struggled to turn over again.
"Here, let me help you." Mac rushed to his side and gently gathered the gown behind him. Softly she ran her hand over his back, brushing her fingertips over his stitches and the newborn scars. "Oh Harm, your poor back. What did you do to yourself this time?"
Harm tried to ignore the feelings that came rushing back as Mac danced her fingers over his back, immediately forcing them back where they belonged, hidden away, buried.
"Thought I was far enough away to trigger the charges. Guess I was wrong." Harm said with a lame single shoulder shrug.
"Why didn't you move to what you knew was a safe distance?" Mac asked gently as she tied his gown and helped him roll over onto his back.
"Well, people were pumping bullets into me, I couldn't run any further, and, oh yeah, they were shooting at two unarmed people with me as well." Harm said with a bitter laugh.
"Gunny told me about the two hostages you rescued." Mac said with pride in her voice.
"Gunny says too much. He should know better than to talk about the kind of ops I get."
"Harm, he just knew that we'd be worried." Mac sat down again in the chair next to Harm's bed.
"Well don't be. I'll be fine, thanks for coming." Harm said closing his eyes.
"Harm you just bitched the doctor out because you've been asleep for days." Mac reminded him gently.
Harm simply grunted in response.
"Now what did you mean about 'she'd be happier out of his life'?"
With a sharp intake of breath Harm opened his eyes and looked at her. He didn't say that out loud, damn it, he did. "Look Mac, go. Be with Webb, be happy."
"Don't you think I can determine what will make me happy, Harm?" Mac asked heatedly.
"You did. At the taxi-stand." Harm said, closing his eyes once more. "Mac, for the friendship we once had, please leave? Just leave me be."
"Why are you doing this Harm? Why are you shutting me out?" Mac asked plaintively, emotion rising in her voice.
"Damn it Mac, just go. I don't need you here." Harm's voice rose, his glare boring a hole through her.
"Why? You said you wanted me to be happy, this is where I want to be. Where I need to be."
"JUST GO!" Harm shouted at her.
"Harm, please." Mac was not going to let herself cry, but she wasn't beyond begging.
Closing his eyes tightly, "NOW!" Harm shouted more loudly, this time gesturing to the door with his good arm.
"Fine." Standing up, Mac struggled to keep her voice steady, barely holding back her tears. When she reached the door, she stopped to look over her shoulder at the man in the hospital bed. "But I'll be back." She vowed under her breath, too low for him to hear.
Hearing the door slam, Harm sighed. Without a sound, he let the tears he'd been holding back fall down his cheeks. "Damn, I need a drink." He muttered to himself.