Hiya! Holy shit people!(excuse the lingo!) but SERIOUSLY! I haven't updated this measly excuse for a story in like...THREE WHOLE FREAKING months! Oh GOD! Help ME! Well here is your long awaited chapter! I felt kinda down 'cause I got like 2 reviews but I'm sure I'll get over it! One day...
Well..............Here's the Seventh year
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize!smiles then turns around and curses
p.s. You might see lotsa bold 'cause I don't know if my italics work properly!
Previously on The Seventh Year:
"It's too late." Lily looked around. It was Sirius.
"Give it up Prongs," said Peter. "She's messing you up."
I hate the way we can't say how we feel about each other, everyone's acting like they're my mother
"Me and James are friends, like he's been asking all these years," replied Lily, confused.
Many Phases of PMS
Oh freaking hell, thought Lily. Oh hellish hell.
Just then, Rylee waltzed in with a smirk on her face. Catching Lily's expression, she frowned and walked over to Lily.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
Lily stared. Then she said, "PMS." They both looked at each other then burst into hysterical laughter. Lily silently thanked herself for her amazing skills. Just then Cali and Keltie walked in, looked at the girls, and then did what any normal person would do. Burst into hysterical laughter of course!
Lily, in the midst of all her laughing, forgot about James's poem and promptly headed to bed in higher spirits.
Next morning, the boy's woke up to Sirius's usual morning ritual. It started off with an off key screech.
"WAKE UP EVERYONE!!" shrieked Sirius. Contrary to popular beliefs, Sirius was a neat freak. He woke everyone at 6 am sharp, when classes started at 8. Well sometimes he forgot because his disgusting fantasies about Matthews got in the way.
"Oy, Padfoot!" yelled James.
Sirius just smiled. Grinned. Exactly like a Cheshire cat. It was beginning to freak the pranks out of James when Sirius spoke, "My poor Jamesie! All Mommy is trying to do is help you build character for yourself!"
"It's a dream...just a dream! A horrible horrible dream! Not even a dream! A nightmare!" James muttered to himself.
"WAKE UP YOUR FREAKING IDIOT! IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP! I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER YOU IDIOT! WAKE UP ALL OF YOU NINCOMPOOPS! ALL OF YOU! NOW!" screeched Sirius at the top of the top of his lungs. Remus turned and Peter snored. "Oookay then...FIRE!"
Remus sprung out of bed and proceeded to sprint around. "Where is it? Where's the fire? Where? WHERE IS IT DAMMIT?"
He turned around then sprung from his seat on the floor and went to beat Sirius with his pillow who was complaining about the pile of clothes on Remus's bed and how grimy they were. James looked at Sirius screaming in the bathroom, Remus with his evil smirk and Peter snoring like it was going out of fashion he mumbled, "The people I'm friends with."
Eventually everyone walked to breakfast. Except for Sirius who decided it was appropriate to skip to breakfast not realizing there was toilet paper poking out his pants. They reached the great hall and started to indulge into a lovely breakfast...with 7.567 minutes so spare.
"Yeah so we walked and you guys were like laughing!" Cali was saying.
"So?" replied Lily and Rylee in unison.
"So? Dish the dirt girls!" exclaimed Keltie exasperatedly. Lily looked at Rylee and they both nodded.
"PMS."
Keltie and Cali grinned knowingly while Sirius snorted in his pancakes and James paled. Remus started choking on his porridge while Peter just sat there stupidly, confused.
"Uh...Guys? What's PMS?" Peter inquired thoroughly perplexed.
The three other guys looked at the girls who were smiling maniacally. Oh shit, they thought in unison. Luckily, the bell sounded signaling that they had 3 minutes to get to their first class which they all happened to be in, Charms.
"Saved by the freaking bell," mumbled James, gritting his teeth looking at Rylee and Lily, murder glinting in his eyes. They smiled dazzlingly and walked off to Charms. As they settled into Charms, Professor O'Donovan began explaining the charm for the day which happened to be the Stay-In-Position Charm.
"The incantation is...Stratus Stayton," explained O'Donovan. "You may begin now."
The girls began chatting about Lawson Davies' hair. ("How in the name of hell does his hair stay so soft and blonde?") Peter turned to his right and looked at James.
"Sooo James...PMS?" asked Peter.
"Crap! Umm it's when girls get ...bitchy."
"They're always like that!" (A/N: Idiot boy!)
Sirius decided it was time to intervene.
"Okay children, this conversation is heading nowhere. PMS is when like...like uh girls bleed out of their bums."
Remus snorted. As well as James and the girls. But the funny thing was that Remus couldn't stop snorting.
"Uh...guys?" asked Peter timidly.
They looked at him.
"Whassit?"
"Well Moon-me-man over there said Snortus Stayton not Stratus Stayton!"
James looked up and said, "Exactly how many problems are we going to have today eh? (A/N I'm Canadian) And we still have to explain the freaking PMS!"
"Snortus Finite."
Remus stopped snorting and took a couple of seconds to take a breather (from the snorting) and turned around to see Cali, in Remus's opinion looking as beautiful as ever.
"Er -- Hi. Thanks for that, Cali." Stuttered Remus.
She looked at him oddly and then smiled her million dollar smile and turned back to Kelttie. Remus looked at James and Sirius and gave them that don't-you-dare-laugh-at-me-or-I'll-freaking-murder-you-next-full-moon. They took the hint.
"So...PMS?"
"Aye YA, Peter!" moaned Sirius. The boys stared. "Okay so forget that!" They still stared.
"BECKY! THEY'RE LOOKING AT ME FUNNY!" shrieked Sirius to the teacher.
"James! Remus! And Peter! Don't look at Sirius "funny" okay? 'Cause the attention might blow his brain cells," she added with an evil grin. Sirius looked at her and started poking his desk with his wand pathetically.
Peter was feeling neglected. He sighed loudly and decided to ignore them all during Herby. They all sucked at Herbology except for him! Oh yes, what an evil evil EVIL plan, he thought. Ha-ha!
Unfortunately for Peter and his evil plan, James knew only too well how Peter's mind worked and decided to, lo and behold, explain what PMS was.
"Okay, Peter! PMS okay? We're going to explain now," informed James. He looked at Remus and had a confusing silent conversation with him and then Remus finally began to cotton on.
"Uh yeah girl's use the word when um you see, they err- feel depressed," he began to explain shooting death glares at James for not helping him. James smiled sweetly. Peter just looked confused.
"For Christ's sake! Didn't you ever take like Sex Ed. or something? You're like seventeen years old! And you don't know what freaking PMS is? Honestly!" burst out Sirius exasperated. Peter looked taken aback.
"Well, I dunno I like fall asleep in all of them!"
Sirius burst out laughing and patted Peter on the back. He then said, "That's a marauder!" Peter smiled and then frowned immediately after and went back to business but before he could the bell rang. The three boys sprinted as fast as their bloody legs could carry them running around like raving idiots. How typical. They always seemed to forget they had Herbology very soon. They went through Potions rather speedily than normal and then headed to lunch, seating themselves across from the other four girls.
"So what does PMS stand for, boys?" asked Cali sweetly.
"Shut up, Caroline," said Sirius irritably.
"How did you find out? Not even Kelt knows that!" asked Cali, bewildered.
Sirius smirked, "That's for me to know, and for you to find out!"
"So what's PMS?" asked Keltie, obviously scenting danger as the two were glaring daggers at each other.
"It's when girls act either a) bitchy b) happy c) or bitchy d) and lest we forget, bitchy," answered James shortly.
"Okay...I've learned that. What does it stand for?" he inquired once again. This time Remus answered.
"Pissy Mood Syndrome," he said.
The four girls snorted in their food and looked up at Remus with a glare in their eyes. He smiled sweetly and waved Queen-Elizabeth fashion. James looked like he was to disagree with what Remus had just said.
"No, No. It's Psychotic Mood Shift." James argued. Rylee was sent into fits of laughter and Keltie, Cali and Lily were already laughing so hard that half their food was on the ground. Remus looked at James with a glint in his eye and looked over to Sirius who had read Remus's mind and was already grinning.
"No, you're both wrong. It's Perpetual Munching Spree. Remember Rylee in 4th year? When she – ..." he was interrupted by Rylee who managed to say something in between her laughter, "Let's not turn this into a make fun of Rylee activity, shall we?" she interjected. Sirius nodded still smiling with his maniacal grin.
"You're wrong Sirius, it's Puffy Mid-Section," laughed Remus, clearly enjoying himself. James was sent into another fit of laughter but was hushed by Keltie when she saw the teachers looking at Gryffindor table suspiciously.
"No no no! You're both wrong! It's People Make me Sick!" James argued, senting Sirius into another fit of hysterics. By this time, Lily had given up on actually eating was leaning on Cali for support. Rylee was snorting freely and Keltie was rolling on the ground, underneath the table.
"No, James! How many times do I have to tell you? It's Provide Me with Sweets!" Sirius debated. James snorted in his spaghetti and decided that he should stop eating for now because this debate was just too much fun.
"Boys! NO! It's Pardon My Sobbing!" cackled Remus. They were clearly having the time of their lives and the girls were laughing too hard to comment. Which was weird because they failed to notice this was kind of an insult to the female species.
"That's wrong! It's Pimples May Surface!" laughed Sirius maniacally, accidentally elbowing James in the process. If anyone happened to walk by their end of the table, they probably would've promptly sent all eight of them to the loony bin. But unfortunately for Gryffindor house, that wasn't the case.
"What are you talking about? It's Pass My Sweatpants you fool!" stated James in a mock angry voice. Sirius high-fived him and started cackling madly once again.. It was quite a hilarious sight to see four girls in a fit of hysterics, three boys laughing like a herd of nincompoops (A/N: what a funny word!) and a last boy fighting down a smile at his friends' antics. After a two second breather, breather meaning just laughing harder, it started up again.
"You daft goats! It's Plainly; Men Suck! But the catch is...WE DON'T!!" Remus roared with laughter once again. (A/N: yes they do)
"No really...I'm becoming partial to Pack My Stuff," stated Sirius, but it just sent the boys into another fit of laughter (for the millionth time!).
"No, no! This is my personal favourite! Pass My Shotgun! NO! Not even! It's Potential Murder Suspect!" James chuckled and Sirius's shoulders shaking in mirth, Remus rolling underneath the table (for Keltie had kindly removed herself from the ground)
Rylee snorted and then said, "Guys! Lunch over! WAIT! We can go back to the C room! Kettleburn said we had to skip this one 'cause of the Flobber-Flue thing-a-ma-bobber they got going on! HA! No more classes today! And WHAT day is it? I think it's a Friday! YESSSSS!"
The boys looked up from the ground where they had all taken refuge, surprised that one of the girls had uttered more than a sentence. The eight of them walked turtle speed to the Gryffindor Common-Room. They lounged around, occasionally making fun of the other, or having momentary fits of laughter, remembering the Many phases of PMS as they now liked to call it. Just sitting there, the best of friends that ever lived.
Can someone spell cheesy ending? 'Cause I can! Sorry I haven't updated in like 8 years but I am truly sorry! Reviews would be excellent at times like this! I'm having problems with my story because I can't remember what I have said about something or someone so if I say it's Friday when earlier on I had just stated it was like Monday please forgive my lack of memory and just inform me in your lengthy review! Thanks for reading!