Disclaimer: Nope, Final Fantasy X belongs to Squaresoft. *sobs* However,
original characters (my summoner and her party) belong to me.
This is my first FFX fanfic and reviews are greatly appreciated. I've always thought that Auron was a closet romantic (especially when he was younger), but to reveal it would take so much away from his bad ass demeanor.
Yay, the story is progressing! ^_^ I'm so happy, I could cry.
Also, this story will roughly follow the game up until Bevelle, but I won't be writing out each and every scene. The story will contain spoilers, so if you've beaten the game and/or don't care to be surprised, please read on.
Read and enjoy!
"Kiss From a Rose" Part Four
Copyright 2003 by Amie Martin
highlander_bellflower@hotmail.com
*****************************
~Katralina--Besaid~
It had been a long time since I took a good look at myself in the mirror.
Most of the time, I didn't like what I saw.
I sat in front of my vanity, brushing my hair, just staring into the mirror blankly. Many of the huts in the village couldn't afford to have such a luxury, seeing as a vanity would take up too much room with a crowded family. But I was a spinster, a loner. What I sacrificed in companionship and love, I gained in space and loneliness. It was an unfair trade, but I was not one to let my unhappiness show.
On the outside, many people would say that I was beautiful. My raven hair reached down to my waist, with only a few strands of gray to give away my age. My skin was porcelain white, making the darkness of my hair stand out even more. I was 32 years old, the wrinkles not yet showing in my face, only a few crow's feet at the corners of my eyes.
My eyes... it was there that I felt my beauty ended. Once, a long time ago, my eyes sparkled. The bright blue had captured the essence of the sky, and the sparkle came from a star ensnared by love. That was ten years ago... I was happy then, finding a peace I never had growing up in Besaid. It all started when Auron came into my life...
Mechanically I smoothed the brush through my hair, staring blankly at my reflection. Now my eyes were hollow and empty, the sky blue dulled by pain. My greatest happiness was also my greatest loss, and the entire story was written in my eyes, for all those who knew to look for it. If eyes were truly the windows to the soul, then I had the most expressive pair in all of Spira.
Staring into the mirror, it was as if I was staring into my past...
***Flashback***
"Why are we waiting here, Kat?" Ziletto asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His metal-gloved hands glittered in the sunlight. "We're all here, and we should get going."
I bit my lip and glanced back towards Djose Temple. Braska was addressing the fayth this morning, and of course his guardians had to go with him. The temple had already given its blessing--the shattering rocks woke me from my sleep--but the party had yet to emerge from the temple. I couldn't leave, not without at least talking to him...
"I think she's got something on her mind. Corone, what do you think?" Othello's green eyes sparkled; he knew just what to say to push all of my buttons.
"I'm not sure." Giggling, Corone clasped a hand over her mouth. "Maybe our little Kat has a secret..."
"Little? You're only five minutes older than me, Corone, so I wouldn't be talking." There was no real threat in my voice; my mind was elsewhere, and all three of my siblings knew it.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but think about Auron. If I concentrated, I could still feel the pressure of his arms around my waist and the feather touches his fingertips left up and down my back. He tasted like sugar and spice, safety and danger, a flavor I was dying to have again...
We spent all night in the lobby, lounging in each other's arms, talking and watching the smoldering fire. I told Auron almost everything about me, about my childhood in Besaid, about my niece, about how losing Sephi changed my life forever. Auron, in turn, described his life as a warrior monk for me, the years of intense training, the years spent locked away from the world. There was a distant tone to his voice, as if he was speaking about someone else, telling a story that happened long ago.
"Braska removed me from all of that," Auron had said huskily, his face close to my ear. "And now... I could never go back, knowing what I do."
"And what is that?" I answered, resisting the urge to laugh as his breath tickled down my neck.
"Because I know you, that's why." He was grinning as he kissed me, and I couldn't contain my laughter any longer.
As a summoner, I knew that I didn't have the luxury of falling in love. We were Spira's light and hope in the face of Sin. Summoners lived for the people, not for themselves. But I didn't become a summoner to please a world full of strangers, I did it to honor Sephi's memory. And if I was going to give my life to defeat Sin, then I was going to enjoy life while I had the chance. All I wanted was to be in love with a man who loved me back, for however long I had left. It didn't seem like too much to ask.
Sometime before dawn, I drifted to sleep in Auron's arms, listening to the soft bass of his heartbeat. When I awoke, I was back in my room, alone, but there was a note on my pillow. It was from Auron, apologizing for his departure, saying he had to accompany Braska through the Cloister of Trials in the temple. "I'll meet up with you afterwards," he wrote.
Only now, Ziletto waited impatiently, tapping his foot at the entrance of Djose. Ziletto, the oldest and therefore the leader of our family, just as Sephi had been when she was alive. Ziletto, who had no idea what had happened last night, much less approve of my actions. I had to find a way to stall him just a few minutes more, so Braska could finally leave the temple...
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a cloaked figure with an elaborate headdress emerge from Djose Temple, followed closely by a tanned man with a tattooed chest and a red-robed man with a large sword. Recognizing Auron from a distance, my heart skipped a beat, and I quickly said to my siblings, "I'll be right back. I, uh, think I left something at the inn."
"Kat, we can't wait all day!" Ziletto protested, but his words slowly diminished in volume as I lifted up the hem of my coat and dress, almost flying down the path to the temple. I was beyond caring about offending him; he'd know soon enough, and he most certainly wasn't about to stop me.
Somehow I managed to come to a graceful stop in front of Braska and his guardians, meeting Auron's gaze as I did so. A smile lit up his hazel eyes, traveling all the way down to his lips. It took an extreme amount of effort on my part to resist the urge to run right to him, throwing myself into his arms.
"Lord Braska," I began, bowing to him in prayer, "I trust your journey was successful?"
"Yes." Braska bowed back to me, and it was easy to see how exhausted he was. "But now I am as drained as you were."
"With great power comes great responsibility, as you and I both know." I was scrambling for words now; I could feel Auron's gaze upon me, and all I wanted was to be with him.
Braska's eyes, however, were sparkling. "Yes, but I know something else as well." Leaning close to my ear, Braska whispered, "Be careful with Auron. I wouldn't want to see his heart broken." Pulling away, he turned to the other guardian and said, "Come, Jecht. Let's leave these two alone."
Smirking, Jecht punched Auron in the shoulder and raised one eyebrow. Auron, in turn, broke my gaze to glare at him, his brows lowered in a challenging stance. The other man shrugged, undaunted, and followed Braska to the inn.
Laughing I asked, "Do you always have such a problem with your fellow guardian?"
"Jecht," Auron said solemnly, "is a moron."
"Well, I'm glad to know you think so highly of him." I watched as a smile spread across Auron's face, making him seem more charming than he already was. His sense of humor was a rarity, I could already tell, but he had opened his heart to me, and I knew I could tell him anything. I had Auron's trust, and it was the greatest feeling in the world.
Taking my hand, Auron led me to a small bench outside the front door of the inn. "Come on, we can talk over here," he suggested.
As soon as we both sat down, I found both of my hands gripped tightly in his, my eyes lost in his hazel gaze. A feeling of comfortable contentment washed over me, and I wished I could stay with Auron for hours on end, ignoring the fates that insisted upon tearing us apart.
A lump formed in my throat as I thought of my pilgrimage and the pain my death would bring Auron. It wasn't fair to him to let this relationship continue; it wasn't fair to me to end it before it began. I shook my head, deciding to live for the moment, for the moment was all I had.
"You're leaving, aren't you," Auron murmured, bringing my hands to his lips to kiss them.
"Ziletto said that we have no reason to stay in Djose." My heart was breaking; I moved closer to Auron, so I could rest my head on his shoulder. "But I have a reason, just one he doesn't understand."
Auron chuckled. "Your brother takes the logical route," he said, letting go of my hands so he could wrap his arms around my shoulders. "He sees that this is totally insane--"
"But you and I decided to ignore all that," I finished for him, looking up at him. "We're still here, together, and I won't have it any other way. I couldn't leave without seeing you again, because I had to know--" I paused, searching for the right words. "I had to know if this was going to continue. Because if it's not, then I'll leave my broken heart behind--"
The feel of his hand against my cheek silenced me. "Those were my thoughts exactly," Auron whispered, his eyes searching mine. "But I told you last night that my heart won't let me let you go, and I meant every word I said. I don't know where this is going to take us, but I'm going to see it through, with you, and I promise not to break your heart." He smiled and added, "As long as you promise not to break mine..."
"I could never bring myself to do it." I tightened my arms around his waist. "Auron...thank you. You've given me so much..."
"No, thank you." He leaned down to kiss me, brushing his lips against mine, a strand of dark hair falling free of his ponytail and softly touching my face. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the kiss, basking in the emotion I had found. I never wanted to leave this spot, knowing that here I was special, and my pilgrimage only led me to my death...
Someone giggled behind me, and I heard Corone say, "See? I told you Kat had a secret."
"Is this what she forgot at the inn?" Othello added, amused.
Auron and I quickly pulled apart, and I turned to see two of my siblings standing behind us. Corone was laughing, one hand over her mouth and the other clutching her stomach. Othello grinned, his arms crossed, his eyes sparkling mischievously.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Othello drawled, walking towards us. "You know Ziletto's not going to be happy with this. He'll go on a tirade about how you don't have time for romance and blah, blah, blah..."
"Yeah, but Ziletto's never happy about anything. He didn't like Kat's decision to pilgrimage either and now he's all involved with being a guardian," Corone added. "He'll get over it. He always does."
I stood up, brushing some dirt off my long coat as I did so. Auron hovered behind me, clearly unsure what to make of the situation. I myself didn't know if I should be angry, upset, or both. "What are the two of you doing here?" I asked, keeping my voice steady.
"Checking up on you, what else?" Smirking, Othello walked over to us and looked Auron up and down. Undaunted, Auron met my brother's gaze. "What's your name again?"
"Auron." He glanced at me, and I smiled to reassure him. I trusted Othello, and I knew that, whatever he was planning, it wouldn't be too drastic. Besides, I would rather have Othello talk to Auron than Ziletto.
"How about you and I have a little talk, Auron?"
While Othello pulled Auron aside, Corone grabbed my arm and asked excitedly, "Kat, why didn't you tell me something happened between the two of you?"
I shrugged. "When was I supposed to do that? This is the first time we've had five minutes alone all morning."
"Still, you could have told me. You know, whispered it in my ear or something." My reflection paused, biting her lower lip as she thought. "Do you like him, Kat?"
Glancing over my shoulder at Othello and Auron, I watched their conversation for a minute. My brother had a hand on Auron's shoulder and was talking expressively. Auron looked as if he was explaining something, but not like he was perplexed or stressed by the conversation. If Auron could hold his own with Othello, he could probably handle Ziletto as well... and if he could handle my family, then we could handle anything together, I was sure of it. It was a touching moment, realizing that Auron and I had a future together, however brief my role as a summoner might make it.
"Yeah, Corone," I said quietly. "I do. More than you'll ever know."
"And does he make you happy?"
"I wouldn't be with him if he didn't."
Smiling, Corone hugged me and said, "Then that's all that matters. As long as he makes you happy, then I'm happy for you." Pulling back, she added, "Of course, I'll support you no matter what."
"Thanks, Corone."
The conversation between Auron and Othello ended, and Othello walked up to me. "I'll explain the delay to Ziletto," he offered, "and you enjoy your time with him."
Auron joined me and held my hand, smiling. "So, I take it that he passes your inspection?" I asked my brother, knowing in my heart that I neither wanted nor needed his opinion; I would stand by Auron because I chose to, not because he gave his approval.
"He's a good guy," Othello said, grinning. "I've got to admit, Kat, you've got great taste in men. Of course, he already knows that if he hurts you in any way, I'm going to kill him."
"Trust me, he made that *quite* clear." Auron winked, and I laughed. "Not that I needed someone to say that to me."
"Of course not. If you ever hurt me, rest assured that I don't need my brothers to defend me." I smiled at Auron, letting him know that, while I was being serious, I was being lighthearted as well. "Othello, you don't have to explain it to Ziletto. We should probably tell him ourselves."
Climbing up the hill to where Ziletto was waiting, Othello shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Consider it my apology for interrupting the two of you. Come on, Corone, let's leave the lovebirds alone." He paused at the top of the hill, turning back to face me. "What do you want me to tell him, Kat?"
My eyes met Auron's, and my answer was decided. "The truth. We have nothing to hide."
***End Flashback***
The eyes in the mirror filled with tears, and I forced myself to look away. Once I was happy and in love, but that was ten years ago. Now I was alone, empty, numb. Love was an emotion I was sure I would never feel again.
Auron was gone, and there was no way he was coming back. The logical part of me knew that I should have moved on years ago, but my emotions still lingered, haunting my dreams, plaguing my thoughts. And so I remained in the house we were to share, living a lie and avoiding the truth my heart knew all too well...
"Kat? Kat, are you home?"
Deftly, my fingers swept up my hair into its usual high ponytail. Tying it in place, I answered, "You can come in, Corone, my door's always open for you."
The flap of my tent opened, letting in a ray of sunlight. Corone entered; she was my identical twin, only her eyes were still sparkling with life, and mine had died with love gone cold. "Kat, why do you keep it so dark in here?" she chastised lightly as she opened the curtains of the little hut.
I let a small smile drift across my lips. "Maybe I live a darker life than you."
"That's no reason to stay shut up in a hut with no light." Satisfied with the condition of the room, Corone sat on my bed, right next to my vanity. "What's going on?" she asked, tilting her head to the side as if she was studying me. "You're sad, I can see it in your eyes."
No matter how hard I tried, I could never hide my feelings from my twin sister. "It's just the same as always," I told her, stealing a glance at my reflection. "It's nothing new for you to be concerned about."
"It's about Auron, isn't it?"
Hearing his name out loud made me flinch involuntarily. I didn't need to answer her question; Corone already knew that she was right. My entire family knew of the pain I had went through, and how my heart was in pain still.
"It's been ten years, Kat," Corone said quietly, reaching over to cover my hand with her own. "No one is going to blame you for moving on."
"You never forget your one true love." I shook my head, watching the raven waves ripple in the mirror. "Think about it. What would you do if you suddenly lost Jacan?"
The mention of her husband made Corone blush, but then fear and horror crept into her sky blue eyes as the meaning of my words sank in. She and Jacan were a good match; they had been married for eight years and had two children together. She would be lost without him, just as I was lost without Auron.
Her had slid away from mine. "Then I would mourn him forever, just like you do," she whispered.
"So you understand."
"Yes, but just because I see your point of view doesn't mean I want you to stay here, shut away from the world. You have to live your own live--"
Corone was interrupted by a sharp knocking on the wall. We both looked up at the same time to see a stout man in a blue uniform standing in the doorway of my hut. Smoothing out a fold in my dress, I stood to greet him. "Yes, can I help you?"
"I bear a message for the former Lady Katralina," he said. It was then that I noticed the folded piece of paper in his hand.
"That would be me." I stood up a bit straighter and was not afraid to meet his eyes. "Who is the message from?"
"The Lady Guardian Lulu." He handed me the message, then bowed in prayer. "Good day, Ladies."
Nodding to him, I opened the message with a flick of my wrist. The words were simple and brief: "Your niece Lulu has sent for you. She will meet you in the city of Bevelle." I read the message once, twice, turning the paper over for more, but there was nothing.
My sister laid a hand on my shoulder. "What did Lulu say?" she asked, sounding curious more than anything else.
In one fluid movement, I folded the message back and dropped it on my vanity. "Lulu wants me to join Yuna's pilgrimage," I said keeping my voice even.
Lulu was my niece, but when her mother Sephi died she became so much more. She was my niece, my sister, and my daughter all rolled into one. As she grew older, she became my apprentice as well, having a talent for black magic unlike any I had ever seen. If Lulu said I was needed on the pilgrimage, then I would offer my services as a guardian. I trusted her judgment, and Lulu would not have sent for me if the situation was under her control.
"So, what are you planning to do?
"Join the pilgrimage, what else?"
She shook her head adamantly. "Kat, that's crazy. You can't just up and leave-think of all you'll be leaving behind."
"What, this?" I gestured to the emptiness of my hut, the light Corone had brought with her. "Save for you, your children, and our brothers, I have very little to keep me in Besaid. I have no reason *not* to go, and it's not like I'm never coming back."
Brushing past Corone, I reached for my black sack and began to pack what items I would need. Some clothes and some food, potions and antidotes for when the fiends got the upper hand, Gil to pay my way at inns and shop-- only the utmost essentials. A pilgrimage was not a leisurely journey; I knew that fact better than anyone. From my closet, I pulled out my familiar long black coat, the one that had served me so well on my own pilgrimage. I slipped the coat one, relishing in the way the fabric cascaded to the ground.
"Even if you were going to join them, surely they've gotten to Bevelle by now," Corone protested as I packed. "They're not going to wait forever for you."
"I can get to Bevelle in three days, four at the most." Clapping my hands, a black moogle doll sprang to life, jumping down from its shelf and into my arms. I patted its head lovingly before turning back to Corone. "A boat leaves for Luca at dusk. I'll ride a chocobo to the Moonflow, and once I'm over that the palace is only a few hours' walk through Macalania Woods. Besides, Lulu sent the message from Guadosalam. I'm sure I have plenty of time."
Biting her lower lip, something she did only when she was nervous, Corone suggested, "Still, if you're going to go, at least take one of us with you-- "
"No, Corone." My voice was soft, but I knew she would understand. "You have a family and a husband now, and Othello's too much of a ladies man to abandon his women on a whim. And Ziletto has become so involved with the temple that he can't abandon his responsibilities either. I can go--I have to go."
Satisfied with my supplies, I slung the sack over my shoulder and gave Corone a quick hug. "Lulu and I will be back before you know it," I told her. "Don't worry, we'll be fine. I won't let this pilgrimage end like mine did." I refused to say goodbye; goodbyes were shallow, merely words of comfort and nothing more.
As I walked out of my hut, Corone called out behind me, "Why are you doing this, Kat?"
I paused in the doorway. "Because maybe I need something to live for."
*****************************
A/N: Sorry it's been so long between updates; finals have been a pain in my arse. Please read and review and tell me what you think!
This is my first FFX fanfic and reviews are greatly appreciated. I've always thought that Auron was a closet romantic (especially when he was younger), but to reveal it would take so much away from his bad ass demeanor.
Yay, the story is progressing! ^_^ I'm so happy, I could cry.
Also, this story will roughly follow the game up until Bevelle, but I won't be writing out each and every scene. The story will contain spoilers, so if you've beaten the game and/or don't care to be surprised, please read on.
Read and enjoy!
"Kiss From a Rose" Part Four
Copyright 2003 by Amie Martin
highlander_bellflower@hotmail.com
*****************************
~Katralina--Besaid~
It had been a long time since I took a good look at myself in the mirror.
Most of the time, I didn't like what I saw.
I sat in front of my vanity, brushing my hair, just staring into the mirror blankly. Many of the huts in the village couldn't afford to have such a luxury, seeing as a vanity would take up too much room with a crowded family. But I was a spinster, a loner. What I sacrificed in companionship and love, I gained in space and loneliness. It was an unfair trade, but I was not one to let my unhappiness show.
On the outside, many people would say that I was beautiful. My raven hair reached down to my waist, with only a few strands of gray to give away my age. My skin was porcelain white, making the darkness of my hair stand out even more. I was 32 years old, the wrinkles not yet showing in my face, only a few crow's feet at the corners of my eyes.
My eyes... it was there that I felt my beauty ended. Once, a long time ago, my eyes sparkled. The bright blue had captured the essence of the sky, and the sparkle came from a star ensnared by love. That was ten years ago... I was happy then, finding a peace I never had growing up in Besaid. It all started when Auron came into my life...
Mechanically I smoothed the brush through my hair, staring blankly at my reflection. Now my eyes were hollow and empty, the sky blue dulled by pain. My greatest happiness was also my greatest loss, and the entire story was written in my eyes, for all those who knew to look for it. If eyes were truly the windows to the soul, then I had the most expressive pair in all of Spira.
Staring into the mirror, it was as if I was staring into my past...
***Flashback***
"Why are we waiting here, Kat?" Ziletto asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His metal-gloved hands glittered in the sunlight. "We're all here, and we should get going."
I bit my lip and glanced back towards Djose Temple. Braska was addressing the fayth this morning, and of course his guardians had to go with him. The temple had already given its blessing--the shattering rocks woke me from my sleep--but the party had yet to emerge from the temple. I couldn't leave, not without at least talking to him...
"I think she's got something on her mind. Corone, what do you think?" Othello's green eyes sparkled; he knew just what to say to push all of my buttons.
"I'm not sure." Giggling, Corone clasped a hand over her mouth. "Maybe our little Kat has a secret..."
"Little? You're only five minutes older than me, Corone, so I wouldn't be talking." There was no real threat in my voice; my mind was elsewhere, and all three of my siblings knew it.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but think about Auron. If I concentrated, I could still feel the pressure of his arms around my waist and the feather touches his fingertips left up and down my back. He tasted like sugar and spice, safety and danger, a flavor I was dying to have again...
We spent all night in the lobby, lounging in each other's arms, talking and watching the smoldering fire. I told Auron almost everything about me, about my childhood in Besaid, about my niece, about how losing Sephi changed my life forever. Auron, in turn, described his life as a warrior monk for me, the years of intense training, the years spent locked away from the world. There was a distant tone to his voice, as if he was speaking about someone else, telling a story that happened long ago.
"Braska removed me from all of that," Auron had said huskily, his face close to my ear. "And now... I could never go back, knowing what I do."
"And what is that?" I answered, resisting the urge to laugh as his breath tickled down my neck.
"Because I know you, that's why." He was grinning as he kissed me, and I couldn't contain my laughter any longer.
As a summoner, I knew that I didn't have the luxury of falling in love. We were Spira's light and hope in the face of Sin. Summoners lived for the people, not for themselves. But I didn't become a summoner to please a world full of strangers, I did it to honor Sephi's memory. And if I was going to give my life to defeat Sin, then I was going to enjoy life while I had the chance. All I wanted was to be in love with a man who loved me back, for however long I had left. It didn't seem like too much to ask.
Sometime before dawn, I drifted to sleep in Auron's arms, listening to the soft bass of his heartbeat. When I awoke, I was back in my room, alone, but there was a note on my pillow. It was from Auron, apologizing for his departure, saying he had to accompany Braska through the Cloister of Trials in the temple. "I'll meet up with you afterwards," he wrote.
Only now, Ziletto waited impatiently, tapping his foot at the entrance of Djose. Ziletto, the oldest and therefore the leader of our family, just as Sephi had been when she was alive. Ziletto, who had no idea what had happened last night, much less approve of my actions. I had to find a way to stall him just a few minutes more, so Braska could finally leave the temple...
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a cloaked figure with an elaborate headdress emerge from Djose Temple, followed closely by a tanned man with a tattooed chest and a red-robed man with a large sword. Recognizing Auron from a distance, my heart skipped a beat, and I quickly said to my siblings, "I'll be right back. I, uh, think I left something at the inn."
"Kat, we can't wait all day!" Ziletto protested, but his words slowly diminished in volume as I lifted up the hem of my coat and dress, almost flying down the path to the temple. I was beyond caring about offending him; he'd know soon enough, and he most certainly wasn't about to stop me.
Somehow I managed to come to a graceful stop in front of Braska and his guardians, meeting Auron's gaze as I did so. A smile lit up his hazel eyes, traveling all the way down to his lips. It took an extreme amount of effort on my part to resist the urge to run right to him, throwing myself into his arms.
"Lord Braska," I began, bowing to him in prayer, "I trust your journey was successful?"
"Yes." Braska bowed back to me, and it was easy to see how exhausted he was. "But now I am as drained as you were."
"With great power comes great responsibility, as you and I both know." I was scrambling for words now; I could feel Auron's gaze upon me, and all I wanted was to be with him.
Braska's eyes, however, were sparkling. "Yes, but I know something else as well." Leaning close to my ear, Braska whispered, "Be careful with Auron. I wouldn't want to see his heart broken." Pulling away, he turned to the other guardian and said, "Come, Jecht. Let's leave these two alone."
Smirking, Jecht punched Auron in the shoulder and raised one eyebrow. Auron, in turn, broke my gaze to glare at him, his brows lowered in a challenging stance. The other man shrugged, undaunted, and followed Braska to the inn.
Laughing I asked, "Do you always have such a problem with your fellow guardian?"
"Jecht," Auron said solemnly, "is a moron."
"Well, I'm glad to know you think so highly of him." I watched as a smile spread across Auron's face, making him seem more charming than he already was. His sense of humor was a rarity, I could already tell, but he had opened his heart to me, and I knew I could tell him anything. I had Auron's trust, and it was the greatest feeling in the world.
Taking my hand, Auron led me to a small bench outside the front door of the inn. "Come on, we can talk over here," he suggested.
As soon as we both sat down, I found both of my hands gripped tightly in his, my eyes lost in his hazel gaze. A feeling of comfortable contentment washed over me, and I wished I could stay with Auron for hours on end, ignoring the fates that insisted upon tearing us apart.
A lump formed in my throat as I thought of my pilgrimage and the pain my death would bring Auron. It wasn't fair to him to let this relationship continue; it wasn't fair to me to end it before it began. I shook my head, deciding to live for the moment, for the moment was all I had.
"You're leaving, aren't you," Auron murmured, bringing my hands to his lips to kiss them.
"Ziletto said that we have no reason to stay in Djose." My heart was breaking; I moved closer to Auron, so I could rest my head on his shoulder. "But I have a reason, just one he doesn't understand."
Auron chuckled. "Your brother takes the logical route," he said, letting go of my hands so he could wrap his arms around my shoulders. "He sees that this is totally insane--"
"But you and I decided to ignore all that," I finished for him, looking up at him. "We're still here, together, and I won't have it any other way. I couldn't leave without seeing you again, because I had to know--" I paused, searching for the right words. "I had to know if this was going to continue. Because if it's not, then I'll leave my broken heart behind--"
The feel of his hand against my cheek silenced me. "Those were my thoughts exactly," Auron whispered, his eyes searching mine. "But I told you last night that my heart won't let me let you go, and I meant every word I said. I don't know where this is going to take us, but I'm going to see it through, with you, and I promise not to break your heart." He smiled and added, "As long as you promise not to break mine..."
"I could never bring myself to do it." I tightened my arms around his waist. "Auron...thank you. You've given me so much..."
"No, thank you." He leaned down to kiss me, brushing his lips against mine, a strand of dark hair falling free of his ponytail and softly touching my face. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the kiss, basking in the emotion I had found. I never wanted to leave this spot, knowing that here I was special, and my pilgrimage only led me to my death...
Someone giggled behind me, and I heard Corone say, "See? I told you Kat had a secret."
"Is this what she forgot at the inn?" Othello added, amused.
Auron and I quickly pulled apart, and I turned to see two of my siblings standing behind us. Corone was laughing, one hand over her mouth and the other clutching her stomach. Othello grinned, his arms crossed, his eyes sparkling mischievously.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Othello drawled, walking towards us. "You know Ziletto's not going to be happy with this. He'll go on a tirade about how you don't have time for romance and blah, blah, blah..."
"Yeah, but Ziletto's never happy about anything. He didn't like Kat's decision to pilgrimage either and now he's all involved with being a guardian," Corone added. "He'll get over it. He always does."
I stood up, brushing some dirt off my long coat as I did so. Auron hovered behind me, clearly unsure what to make of the situation. I myself didn't know if I should be angry, upset, or both. "What are the two of you doing here?" I asked, keeping my voice steady.
"Checking up on you, what else?" Smirking, Othello walked over to us and looked Auron up and down. Undaunted, Auron met my brother's gaze. "What's your name again?"
"Auron." He glanced at me, and I smiled to reassure him. I trusted Othello, and I knew that, whatever he was planning, it wouldn't be too drastic. Besides, I would rather have Othello talk to Auron than Ziletto.
"How about you and I have a little talk, Auron?"
While Othello pulled Auron aside, Corone grabbed my arm and asked excitedly, "Kat, why didn't you tell me something happened between the two of you?"
I shrugged. "When was I supposed to do that? This is the first time we've had five minutes alone all morning."
"Still, you could have told me. You know, whispered it in my ear or something." My reflection paused, biting her lower lip as she thought. "Do you like him, Kat?"
Glancing over my shoulder at Othello and Auron, I watched their conversation for a minute. My brother had a hand on Auron's shoulder and was talking expressively. Auron looked as if he was explaining something, but not like he was perplexed or stressed by the conversation. If Auron could hold his own with Othello, he could probably handle Ziletto as well... and if he could handle my family, then we could handle anything together, I was sure of it. It was a touching moment, realizing that Auron and I had a future together, however brief my role as a summoner might make it.
"Yeah, Corone," I said quietly. "I do. More than you'll ever know."
"And does he make you happy?"
"I wouldn't be with him if he didn't."
Smiling, Corone hugged me and said, "Then that's all that matters. As long as he makes you happy, then I'm happy for you." Pulling back, she added, "Of course, I'll support you no matter what."
"Thanks, Corone."
The conversation between Auron and Othello ended, and Othello walked up to me. "I'll explain the delay to Ziletto," he offered, "and you enjoy your time with him."
Auron joined me and held my hand, smiling. "So, I take it that he passes your inspection?" I asked my brother, knowing in my heart that I neither wanted nor needed his opinion; I would stand by Auron because I chose to, not because he gave his approval.
"He's a good guy," Othello said, grinning. "I've got to admit, Kat, you've got great taste in men. Of course, he already knows that if he hurts you in any way, I'm going to kill him."
"Trust me, he made that *quite* clear." Auron winked, and I laughed. "Not that I needed someone to say that to me."
"Of course not. If you ever hurt me, rest assured that I don't need my brothers to defend me." I smiled at Auron, letting him know that, while I was being serious, I was being lighthearted as well. "Othello, you don't have to explain it to Ziletto. We should probably tell him ourselves."
Climbing up the hill to where Ziletto was waiting, Othello shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Consider it my apology for interrupting the two of you. Come on, Corone, let's leave the lovebirds alone." He paused at the top of the hill, turning back to face me. "What do you want me to tell him, Kat?"
My eyes met Auron's, and my answer was decided. "The truth. We have nothing to hide."
***End Flashback***
The eyes in the mirror filled with tears, and I forced myself to look away. Once I was happy and in love, but that was ten years ago. Now I was alone, empty, numb. Love was an emotion I was sure I would never feel again.
Auron was gone, and there was no way he was coming back. The logical part of me knew that I should have moved on years ago, but my emotions still lingered, haunting my dreams, plaguing my thoughts. And so I remained in the house we were to share, living a lie and avoiding the truth my heart knew all too well...
"Kat? Kat, are you home?"
Deftly, my fingers swept up my hair into its usual high ponytail. Tying it in place, I answered, "You can come in, Corone, my door's always open for you."
The flap of my tent opened, letting in a ray of sunlight. Corone entered; she was my identical twin, only her eyes were still sparkling with life, and mine had died with love gone cold. "Kat, why do you keep it so dark in here?" she chastised lightly as she opened the curtains of the little hut.
I let a small smile drift across my lips. "Maybe I live a darker life than you."
"That's no reason to stay shut up in a hut with no light." Satisfied with the condition of the room, Corone sat on my bed, right next to my vanity. "What's going on?" she asked, tilting her head to the side as if she was studying me. "You're sad, I can see it in your eyes."
No matter how hard I tried, I could never hide my feelings from my twin sister. "It's just the same as always," I told her, stealing a glance at my reflection. "It's nothing new for you to be concerned about."
"It's about Auron, isn't it?"
Hearing his name out loud made me flinch involuntarily. I didn't need to answer her question; Corone already knew that she was right. My entire family knew of the pain I had went through, and how my heart was in pain still.
"It's been ten years, Kat," Corone said quietly, reaching over to cover my hand with her own. "No one is going to blame you for moving on."
"You never forget your one true love." I shook my head, watching the raven waves ripple in the mirror. "Think about it. What would you do if you suddenly lost Jacan?"
The mention of her husband made Corone blush, but then fear and horror crept into her sky blue eyes as the meaning of my words sank in. She and Jacan were a good match; they had been married for eight years and had two children together. She would be lost without him, just as I was lost without Auron.
Her had slid away from mine. "Then I would mourn him forever, just like you do," she whispered.
"So you understand."
"Yes, but just because I see your point of view doesn't mean I want you to stay here, shut away from the world. You have to live your own live--"
Corone was interrupted by a sharp knocking on the wall. We both looked up at the same time to see a stout man in a blue uniform standing in the doorway of my hut. Smoothing out a fold in my dress, I stood to greet him. "Yes, can I help you?"
"I bear a message for the former Lady Katralina," he said. It was then that I noticed the folded piece of paper in his hand.
"That would be me." I stood up a bit straighter and was not afraid to meet his eyes. "Who is the message from?"
"The Lady Guardian Lulu." He handed me the message, then bowed in prayer. "Good day, Ladies."
Nodding to him, I opened the message with a flick of my wrist. The words were simple and brief: "Your niece Lulu has sent for you. She will meet you in the city of Bevelle." I read the message once, twice, turning the paper over for more, but there was nothing.
My sister laid a hand on my shoulder. "What did Lulu say?" she asked, sounding curious more than anything else.
In one fluid movement, I folded the message back and dropped it on my vanity. "Lulu wants me to join Yuna's pilgrimage," I said keeping my voice even.
Lulu was my niece, but when her mother Sephi died she became so much more. She was my niece, my sister, and my daughter all rolled into one. As she grew older, she became my apprentice as well, having a talent for black magic unlike any I had ever seen. If Lulu said I was needed on the pilgrimage, then I would offer my services as a guardian. I trusted her judgment, and Lulu would not have sent for me if the situation was under her control.
"So, what are you planning to do?
"Join the pilgrimage, what else?"
She shook her head adamantly. "Kat, that's crazy. You can't just up and leave-think of all you'll be leaving behind."
"What, this?" I gestured to the emptiness of my hut, the light Corone had brought with her. "Save for you, your children, and our brothers, I have very little to keep me in Besaid. I have no reason *not* to go, and it's not like I'm never coming back."
Brushing past Corone, I reached for my black sack and began to pack what items I would need. Some clothes and some food, potions and antidotes for when the fiends got the upper hand, Gil to pay my way at inns and shop-- only the utmost essentials. A pilgrimage was not a leisurely journey; I knew that fact better than anyone. From my closet, I pulled out my familiar long black coat, the one that had served me so well on my own pilgrimage. I slipped the coat one, relishing in the way the fabric cascaded to the ground.
"Even if you were going to join them, surely they've gotten to Bevelle by now," Corone protested as I packed. "They're not going to wait forever for you."
"I can get to Bevelle in three days, four at the most." Clapping my hands, a black moogle doll sprang to life, jumping down from its shelf and into my arms. I patted its head lovingly before turning back to Corone. "A boat leaves for Luca at dusk. I'll ride a chocobo to the Moonflow, and once I'm over that the palace is only a few hours' walk through Macalania Woods. Besides, Lulu sent the message from Guadosalam. I'm sure I have plenty of time."
Biting her lower lip, something she did only when she was nervous, Corone suggested, "Still, if you're going to go, at least take one of us with you-- "
"No, Corone." My voice was soft, but I knew she would understand. "You have a family and a husband now, and Othello's too much of a ladies man to abandon his women on a whim. And Ziletto has become so involved with the temple that he can't abandon his responsibilities either. I can go--I have to go."
Satisfied with my supplies, I slung the sack over my shoulder and gave Corone a quick hug. "Lulu and I will be back before you know it," I told her. "Don't worry, we'll be fine. I won't let this pilgrimage end like mine did." I refused to say goodbye; goodbyes were shallow, merely words of comfort and nothing more.
As I walked out of my hut, Corone called out behind me, "Why are you doing this, Kat?"
I paused in the doorway. "Because maybe I need something to live for."
*****************************
A/N: Sorry it's been so long between updates; finals have been a pain in my arse. Please read and review and tell me what you think!
