Disclaimer: I imply no ownership of the characters. They are the property of Shed productions and the BBC.
I use them only for creative purposes.
Part Nine
On Sunday morning, Karen took up Yvonne's suggestion and went in to the office to finish what she hadn't
completed on Friday. The sun was blazing down but the office building was nice and cool. As she let
herself in and reset the burglar alarm, something they all did if they came in at the weekend, she reflected
that this might give her the ideal opportunity to do something she'd been wanting to do for a long time.
Karen had thought for some weeks that Jim Fenner was working for a rival paper as well as the Lark City
Post. She'd begun to suspect something was amiss when Jim started working late at the office, and when he
immediately closed whatever file he was working on if she appeared. He'd suddenly become very aloof
about what he was up to, which she reflected was nothing new. But something he'd started doing near to
the end of their relationship had been. Jim had developed a liking for taking pictures of her. He could have
been a photographer if he'd wanted to be. Karen was a little surprised by this new suggestion of his but she
knew her body looked good so it didn't particularly bother her. But now she might be able to find out what
was going on.
As Karen let herself in to the big, open plan office of the reporters, she could see Jim's computer looking as
innocent as the day it was bought. She walked over and sat down at his desk. When she turned the
computer on, it slowly worked it's way in to life and then she was presented with a problem. What the hell
was his password. She tried a couple of Jim Fenner associated words, like Screw and Shag but to no avail.
Then, on the third try she put in her own name on the off chance. As Windows 98 began to open in front of
her, she marveled at what she was doing. She was breaking in to someone else's computer to find out their
secrets. But sod it, she thought. This was Jim Fenner, not just any unlucky reporter. He had all the usual
icons on his desktop but it was the My documents folder which caught her eye. It seemed to lure her in to
the secret life of Jim Fenner.
"Doing some computer hacking, are we?" Karen almost fell off her chair in shock. Standing directly behind
her was Yvonne. Karen hadn't heard her approach, she'd been too engrossed in the task in hand.
"Jesus, Yvonne, don't do that!" Karen turned back to the screen because she knew she looked as guilty as
sin. Yvonne put a resting hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, calm down, you wouldn't be the first to see what her juniors are up to." Karen relaxed. "I make it a
policy to do that to all my reporters when they first arrive," Said Yvonne.
"Well," Replied Karen. "I wouldn't go that far. I think Jim's been working for a rival paper."
"Typical," Muttered Yvonne.
"His password wasn't hard to figure out," Said Karen. Yvonne laughed.
"What was it?" Karen grimaced.
"Karen, of all things. He's obviously not moved on to someone else yet." She clicked on My documents
and began looking through the folders. Then Yvonne had a better idea.
"Why not look at his e-mails. If he really is working for a rival paper, that's how he'll have kept in touch
with them." Karen looked a little wary. "Go on," encouraged Yvonne. "If there's nothing there, he doesn't
even need to know you've been there." Karen clicked on Outlook Express and there was one new e-mail. It
was from a Neil Grayling who gave his address as: N.Grayling@the-sun.co.uk.
"Looks like you were right," Said Yvonne as she watched over Karen's shoulder. When the e-mail was
opened it read:
"Jim,
thank you for the photographs. They're just what I'm looking for. They should make a pretty good centre
page spread. If you have any more, please send them on.
Regards,
Neil."
"What bloody photographs?" Said Karen in outrage, but she already knew the answer. While Karen looked
on, Yvonne moved to the previous e-mail which had been sent from Jim Fenner to Neil Grayling. It had an
attachment of graphic files which were clearly pictures with the single word "enjoy" in the body of the
message. Yvonne opened the attachment and they both stared at the unfolding pictures of Karen in various
stages of undress and in various poses.
"Jesus!" said Yvonne. Karen hurriedly closed the file, her cheeks already burning with humiliation.
"I'll bloody kill him for this," She said, her voice dripping with pure venom. Karen systematically went
through every folder on Fenner's computer and deleted every file that contained pictures of her. Yvonne
did the same with the enormous stack of computer disks that Fenner had in his desk.
"He won't be able to question why you did this," Said Yvonne matter-of-factly. "He's already breaking his
contract by working for a rival paper."
"I'll break his bloody neck, never mind his contract," Said Karen as she printed copies of various e-mails
between Jim Fenner and this Neil Grayling who worked for The sun. When they'd finished clearing out
Fenner's stock of pictures, they walked upstairs to their own offices, Karen carrying a thick wad of paper
under her arm. She smiled ruefully at Yvonne.
"All I really came in for was to finish reading those proofs," She said. "It just struck me that it might be a
good opportunity to see what the bastard was up to."
"It's always a good idea to know what you're staff are doing on the side," Said Yvonne as she went in to
her office. "My daughter, Lauren, tort me a good line in computer hacking a long time ago." Yvonne
reappeared carrying her own laptop and a stack of proofs. "The garden beckons," She said, referring to the
huge stretch of lawn at the back of the office. It was a rule that no hard copies of proofs or stories were
allowed to be taken away from the office building which meant that if anyone wanted to sunbathe whilst
working, they had to do it at work. This was almost never done in the week, but at weekends, the office felt
like home from home to some. Soon Yvonne was stretched out on the grass working through the latest
developments on her fraudulent vicar. It was apparent that this morning would be his last service and
Yvonne had sent Alex with Ray to see how the congregation would take the news of their vicar leaving,
when most of them knew the reason, thanks to Yvonne's diligence with the story.
Mike appeared soon after, obviously intent on decreasing his own pile of stories. He poked his head out of
the kitchen door which led to the garden.
"I don't know, some people," He said with a rye grin at Yvonne.
"I'm just making the most of it," Replied Yvonne who was clearly intent on staying exactly where she was.
"when you go upstairs," She asked, "will you throw down my cigarettes. They're on my desk."
"Polluting the atmosphere as well as reaping it's benefits," He said with a smile. "Do you want a coffee?"
He called as he returned to the kitchen.
"No thanks," Called Yvonne. "any more caffeine and I won't be able to keep still." Mike took his coffee
upstairs and obligingly threw down Yvonne's cigarettes for her. He walked in to Karen's office.
"You here as well?"
"yes," Said Karen, still clearly smarting from the pictures she'd found on Fenner's computer. Then she
surprised him by saying, "Why are some men total bastards?" Then she smiled, "Present company
excepted of course."
"Some are just made that way," Replied Mike. "Are we talking about anyone in particular?"
"Jim bloody Fenner," Said Karen a look of pure fury on her face.
"What's he been up to now?" Asked Mike.
"He's been selling pictures of me to the sun, and not the type of pictures we feature. I've just raided his
computer."
"I see. You know he's breaking his contract by doing that?"
"I don't give a shit about his contract," Said Karen. "Those pictures were personal. I don't want every
bloke in the country staring at, well, at what's in them." She blushed slightly.
"Do you want to go official about this?" Said Mike.
"No, not really. I'll deal with him first thing tomorrow. He'll wish he'd never bought that bloody camera
never mind used it."
Around two o'clock that afternoon, Karen appeared out of the kitchen door carrying her cigarettes and
stretched out on the grass near to where Yvonne had spread out all her stories.
"You're burning," Karen said to Yvonne who appeared to be in a world of her own. "You're legs are going
the same colour as your hair." Yvonne took her eyes away from the proof she was reading and glanced at
her legs.
"Shit, yeah," She said, moving in to the shade of a nearby tree. "How're you getting on," She asked.
"all done. Thank god," Said Karen settling back to take in the ultra-violet rays.
"Mike still upstairs?" Asked Yvonne. Karen yawned.
"No, he's gone to get us some lunch." Mike appeared in about ten minutes. He was carrying a tray with
plates of sandwiches, a huge bag of grapes and a large bottle of very cold freshly squeezed orange juice.
He put the tray, also containing three glasses down on the grass and sat down.
"You're a star," Said Karen who, having eaten nothing that day was starving.
"Yeah," Yvonne grinned. "What would we do without you."
"You know that new delis down the road, it even opens on Sundays," Said Mike. Karen took a large bite
from a sandwich and said,
"so, do either of you two know a good way of kicking Jim Fenner right where it hurts?" Yvonne and Mike
both realising that the other new about the pictures glanced at each other.
"Have you got any pictures of him?" Asked Yvonne. "You could send them to a porn mag."
"Good god, no," Said Karen, but she was grinning. "No-one would take them. Anyway, photography
certainly isn't one of my hobbies."
"Is he really that bad looking?" Asked Yvonne with a glint of pure laughter in her eyes.
"He's not bad," Said Karen. "But he'd never make a centre page spread."
"Bloody hell," Said Mike with a mock shudder. "I'm glad it isn't me you're talking about." Yvonne started
laughing.
"You could you know, find a picture of him and send it to one of the mags for gay blokes. Then, get Ray to
buy a copy and leave it somewhere Fenner will see it."
"Actually, that's not a bad idea," Karen said with a grin. "Don't think I've got any of him though."
"No way," Said Yvonne with a lot of determination. "This just has to be done. You've got to admit, this'll
be the biggest laugh you've had in a long time."
"Oh, I know," Agreed Karen. "He's going to get the bollocking of his life first though."
I use them only for creative purposes.
Part Nine
On Sunday morning, Karen took up Yvonne's suggestion and went in to the office to finish what she hadn't
completed on Friday. The sun was blazing down but the office building was nice and cool. As she let
herself in and reset the burglar alarm, something they all did if they came in at the weekend, she reflected
that this might give her the ideal opportunity to do something she'd been wanting to do for a long time.
Karen had thought for some weeks that Jim Fenner was working for a rival paper as well as the Lark City
Post. She'd begun to suspect something was amiss when Jim started working late at the office, and when he
immediately closed whatever file he was working on if she appeared. He'd suddenly become very aloof
about what he was up to, which she reflected was nothing new. But something he'd started doing near to
the end of their relationship had been. Jim had developed a liking for taking pictures of her. He could have
been a photographer if he'd wanted to be. Karen was a little surprised by this new suggestion of his but she
knew her body looked good so it didn't particularly bother her. But now she might be able to find out what
was going on.
As Karen let herself in to the big, open plan office of the reporters, she could see Jim's computer looking as
innocent as the day it was bought. She walked over and sat down at his desk. When she turned the
computer on, it slowly worked it's way in to life and then she was presented with a problem. What the hell
was his password. She tried a couple of Jim Fenner associated words, like Screw and Shag but to no avail.
Then, on the third try she put in her own name on the off chance. As Windows 98 began to open in front of
her, she marveled at what she was doing. She was breaking in to someone else's computer to find out their
secrets. But sod it, she thought. This was Jim Fenner, not just any unlucky reporter. He had all the usual
icons on his desktop but it was the My documents folder which caught her eye. It seemed to lure her in to
the secret life of Jim Fenner.
"Doing some computer hacking, are we?" Karen almost fell off her chair in shock. Standing directly behind
her was Yvonne. Karen hadn't heard her approach, she'd been too engrossed in the task in hand.
"Jesus, Yvonne, don't do that!" Karen turned back to the screen because she knew she looked as guilty as
sin. Yvonne put a resting hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, calm down, you wouldn't be the first to see what her juniors are up to." Karen relaxed. "I make it a
policy to do that to all my reporters when they first arrive," Said Yvonne.
"Well," Replied Karen. "I wouldn't go that far. I think Jim's been working for a rival paper."
"Typical," Muttered Yvonne.
"His password wasn't hard to figure out," Said Karen. Yvonne laughed.
"What was it?" Karen grimaced.
"Karen, of all things. He's obviously not moved on to someone else yet." She clicked on My documents
and began looking through the folders. Then Yvonne had a better idea.
"Why not look at his e-mails. If he really is working for a rival paper, that's how he'll have kept in touch
with them." Karen looked a little wary. "Go on," encouraged Yvonne. "If there's nothing there, he doesn't
even need to know you've been there." Karen clicked on Outlook Express and there was one new e-mail. It
was from a Neil Grayling who gave his address as: N.Grayling@the-sun.co.uk.
"Looks like you were right," Said Yvonne as she watched over Karen's shoulder. When the e-mail was
opened it read:
"Jim,
thank you for the photographs. They're just what I'm looking for. They should make a pretty good centre
page spread. If you have any more, please send them on.
Regards,
Neil."
"What bloody photographs?" Said Karen in outrage, but she already knew the answer. While Karen looked
on, Yvonne moved to the previous e-mail which had been sent from Jim Fenner to Neil Grayling. It had an
attachment of graphic files which were clearly pictures with the single word "enjoy" in the body of the
message. Yvonne opened the attachment and they both stared at the unfolding pictures of Karen in various
stages of undress and in various poses.
"Jesus!" said Yvonne. Karen hurriedly closed the file, her cheeks already burning with humiliation.
"I'll bloody kill him for this," She said, her voice dripping with pure venom. Karen systematically went
through every folder on Fenner's computer and deleted every file that contained pictures of her. Yvonne
did the same with the enormous stack of computer disks that Fenner had in his desk.
"He won't be able to question why you did this," Said Yvonne matter-of-factly. "He's already breaking his
contract by working for a rival paper."
"I'll break his bloody neck, never mind his contract," Said Karen as she printed copies of various e-mails
between Jim Fenner and this Neil Grayling who worked for The sun. When they'd finished clearing out
Fenner's stock of pictures, they walked upstairs to their own offices, Karen carrying a thick wad of paper
under her arm. She smiled ruefully at Yvonne.
"All I really came in for was to finish reading those proofs," She said. "It just struck me that it might be a
good opportunity to see what the bastard was up to."
"It's always a good idea to know what you're staff are doing on the side," Said Yvonne as she went in to
her office. "My daughter, Lauren, tort me a good line in computer hacking a long time ago." Yvonne
reappeared carrying her own laptop and a stack of proofs. "The garden beckons," She said, referring to the
huge stretch of lawn at the back of the office. It was a rule that no hard copies of proofs or stories were
allowed to be taken away from the office building which meant that if anyone wanted to sunbathe whilst
working, they had to do it at work. This was almost never done in the week, but at weekends, the office felt
like home from home to some. Soon Yvonne was stretched out on the grass working through the latest
developments on her fraudulent vicar. It was apparent that this morning would be his last service and
Yvonne had sent Alex with Ray to see how the congregation would take the news of their vicar leaving,
when most of them knew the reason, thanks to Yvonne's diligence with the story.
Mike appeared soon after, obviously intent on decreasing his own pile of stories. He poked his head out of
the kitchen door which led to the garden.
"I don't know, some people," He said with a rye grin at Yvonne.
"I'm just making the most of it," Replied Yvonne who was clearly intent on staying exactly where she was.
"when you go upstairs," She asked, "will you throw down my cigarettes. They're on my desk."
"Polluting the atmosphere as well as reaping it's benefits," He said with a smile. "Do you want a coffee?"
He called as he returned to the kitchen.
"No thanks," Called Yvonne. "any more caffeine and I won't be able to keep still." Mike took his coffee
upstairs and obligingly threw down Yvonne's cigarettes for her. He walked in to Karen's office.
"You here as well?"
"yes," Said Karen, still clearly smarting from the pictures she'd found on Fenner's computer. Then she
surprised him by saying, "Why are some men total bastards?" Then she smiled, "Present company
excepted of course."
"Some are just made that way," Replied Mike. "Are we talking about anyone in particular?"
"Jim bloody Fenner," Said Karen a look of pure fury on her face.
"What's he been up to now?" Asked Mike.
"He's been selling pictures of me to the sun, and not the type of pictures we feature. I've just raided his
computer."
"I see. You know he's breaking his contract by doing that?"
"I don't give a shit about his contract," Said Karen. "Those pictures were personal. I don't want every
bloke in the country staring at, well, at what's in them." She blushed slightly.
"Do you want to go official about this?" Said Mike.
"No, not really. I'll deal with him first thing tomorrow. He'll wish he'd never bought that bloody camera
never mind used it."
Around two o'clock that afternoon, Karen appeared out of the kitchen door carrying her cigarettes and
stretched out on the grass near to where Yvonne had spread out all her stories.
"You're burning," Karen said to Yvonne who appeared to be in a world of her own. "You're legs are going
the same colour as your hair." Yvonne took her eyes away from the proof she was reading and glanced at
her legs.
"Shit, yeah," She said, moving in to the shade of a nearby tree. "How're you getting on," She asked.
"all done. Thank god," Said Karen settling back to take in the ultra-violet rays.
"Mike still upstairs?" Asked Yvonne. Karen yawned.
"No, he's gone to get us some lunch." Mike appeared in about ten minutes. He was carrying a tray with
plates of sandwiches, a huge bag of grapes and a large bottle of very cold freshly squeezed orange juice.
He put the tray, also containing three glasses down on the grass and sat down.
"You're a star," Said Karen who, having eaten nothing that day was starving.
"Yeah," Yvonne grinned. "What would we do without you."
"You know that new delis down the road, it even opens on Sundays," Said Mike. Karen took a large bite
from a sandwich and said,
"so, do either of you two know a good way of kicking Jim Fenner right where it hurts?" Yvonne and Mike
both realising that the other new about the pictures glanced at each other.
"Have you got any pictures of him?" Asked Yvonne. "You could send them to a porn mag."
"Good god, no," Said Karen, but she was grinning. "No-one would take them. Anyway, photography
certainly isn't one of my hobbies."
"Is he really that bad looking?" Asked Yvonne with a glint of pure laughter in her eyes.
"He's not bad," Said Karen. "But he'd never make a centre page spread."
"Bloody hell," Said Mike with a mock shudder. "I'm glad it isn't me you're talking about." Yvonne started
laughing.
"You could you know, find a picture of him and send it to one of the mags for gay blokes. Then, get Ray to
buy a copy and leave it somewhere Fenner will see it."
"Actually, that's not a bad idea," Karen said with a grin. "Don't think I've got any of him though."
"No way," Said Yvonne with a lot of determination. "This just has to be done. You've got to admit, this'll
be the biggest laugh you've had in a long time."
"Oh, I know," Agreed Karen. "He's going to get the bollocking of his life first though."