Part Twelve
When Nikki awoke the next morning, she didn't know where she was. She was lying in a strange bed and
she was alone. Then the events of the evening came flooding back. Walking in on Tash and Kirstie,
leaving them in bed together and then turning up at Victoria's. Nikki struggled out of bed and looked at the
time. It was nearly ten o'clock. The amount of alcohol she'd consumed must have kept her asleep for hours.
As she wandered in to the kitchen she saw Victoria sitting at the table eating cereal and reading the paper.
"How did you sleep?" Asked Victoria, not taking her eyes off the article she was reading.
"Like a log," Said Nikki. "Must have been all that drink I had last night."
"There's some Alka-Seltzer near the kettle if you want it. I keep it there so as it's easy to find when I'm half
dead." Victoria knew she was failing at making light conversation but she hated awkward silences and
didn't really know what she could say to Nikki. Nikki grinned slightly as she made herself a coffee and put
some bread in the toaster.
"What are your plans for today?" Asked Victoria, instantly realising what a stupid question this was. Nikki
sat down at the table.
"do you mind if I smoke?" She said. Victoria got up to get an ashtray.
"Not at all. When things are that bad you'll often find me indulging myself." Nikki looked at her.
"I never would have thought of you as a smoker," She said slightly bemused.
"Well," Replied Victoria. "There's a lot you don't know about me." When Nikki had lit up, she said,
"I know I should talk to Tash, find out exactly why this has happened, but that's the last thing I want to do
right now. Just the thought of her with anyone else makes me furious! To be honest, all I want to do is go
over there and get some stuff to last me over the weekend, give me time to calm down a bit."
"You can stay here as long as you need too."
"Thanks," Said Nikki. "I'll try not to cramp your style for too long though."
"Look, Nikki, this isn't something that's going to be sorted out in a few days. It's going to get hard and it's
going to be difficult. All I'm saying is that you can crash here as long as you want too." Nikki didn't know
how to respond to this. She was touched at how concerned for her Victoria was. She'd only been working
with her for a couple of months but it felt like here was a true friend, someone she could count on.
After Nikki had eaten some toast and put off the inevitable for as long as possible, she walked round to the
house she'd shared with Tash for the last two years. Her little gray Forde was parked outside and she
patted it fondly as she walked passed. When Nikki let herself in, she encountered the oddest sight so far
this weekend. Tash was pacing the living-room, smoking. Tash never smoked. Not in all the time Nikki had
spent with her had Tash ever sparked up. Forgetting why she was there, Nikki just stood and stared. But
Nikki's sarcasm soon came to the fore.
"Well," She said. "They say things go in threes, I'm just wondering what the third unexpected thing is
going to be."
"What are you talking about?" Said Tash taking another long drag.
"First," Said Nikki, her voice dripping with ice. "I come home to find you in bed with another woman, and
second, I come home this morning to find you smoking."
"Nikki, I am so, so sorry."
"Really," Said Nikki lighting a cigarette of her own. "Do you know what hurts the most? It's not the fact
that you cheated, or even the fact that you've quite clearly been lying to me. The thing that really cuts me
in two was seeing just how good you looked together. I don't think I've ever seen you look so peaceful and
happy."
"I didn't mean this to happen," Said Tash quietly.
"Yes, you did," Responded Nikki. "You just didn't mean me to find out like that." Tash just looked at her in
silence. Nikki was right. Nikki went upstairs and started throwing her clothes in to bags. Tash had followed
her and stood in the bedroom doorway watching her.
"Where did you go last night?" She asked.
"Victorias."
"Is that where you're going now?"
"Yeah. So, anything important like I win the lottery, you know where I am."
"Nikki, we've got to talk about this." Nikki turned to face her, still holding a handful of bras in her hand.
"Listen, Tash, talking is about the last thing I want to do right now. I'm struggling to even accept that what
I saw last night was real, so don't come at me with all this let's talk about it crap because that isn't
something I can do. We will talk about everything, because I sure as hell need some answers, but it won't
be this weekend and probably not any time soon." After listening to this, Tash went back downstairs
because she couldn't face the sight of Nikki removing her possessions from their bedroom. She hadn't
wanted it to be like this. Tash had wanted to prepare Nikki slowly for what was coming, not thrust it upon
her with absolutely no warning. Nikki came downstairs and put three bags in to her car. When she
reappeared, Tash watched her take a couple of bottles of red from the wine rack in the kitchen, bottles
they'd bought together. Then Nikki went to the bookcase and took her copies of Romeo and Juliet, Oranges
Are Not The Only Fruit, and Sophie's World.
"Will you let me know what you're doing?" Asked Tash timidly.
"If anything happens like I crash the car, then yeah, I'll let you know. You'll still see me in work every day."
Then Nikki stopped and looked fully at Tash. "Do you know something, everyone who was there last night
knew about this. Yvonne definitely knew more about this than I did. Funny how blind a person can be."
Then she picked up her stock of Marlboros and walked out to her car.
When Nikki arrived back at Victoria's, she let herself in and left the two bottles of red in the kitchen. Victoria
had given her a spare key so that she could come and go as she pleased. Nikki began looking at Victoria's
books and Cds and was pleasantly surprised to find that Victoria had similar tastes to her in music and
fiction. Victoria returned around two having filled the car at the supermarket. Nikki helped her bring the
shopping in from the car and said,
"Jesus, you've bought enough to feed an army."
"Well, the cupboards and the fridge looked very bare this morning." Nikki threw together some sandwiches
as Victoria put everything away.
"How did it go?" She asked.
"Well, at least I know she's feeling bloody guilty about it," Said Nikki with a rueful smile. "When I arrived
she was chain smoking and Tash hasn't smoked in all the time I've known her." Nikki knew she was
avoiding talking about what mattered but she had to do this in order to stay sane.
Meanwhile, Karen was spending the afternoon doing everything possible to make her body feel and look
sexy. She wanted to give all she had tonight because she knew that if anything happened between her and
Mike, it would be special. As she lay in the bath, carefully varnishing her toenails, she wondered what it
would be like to sleep with Mike. Until the truth came out about Jim, she hadn't really thought of Mike as
anything more than a colleague whom she liked and respected. But he'd become such a good friend. He
was so warm and strong. She shivered luxuriously in the foamy water as she visualized how good he would
be. A man like him would have been around the world a few times sexually, and as she thought about his
long fingered hands, it was all she could do to keep her mind off the prospect of Mike's body and on the
task in hand. Later, as she sat in front of the mirror applying eye liner, she just hoped she would be good
enough for him. She'd always been more than good enough for Jim, but look at the long line of scrubbers
he'd spent time pleasuring. Mike was in a different class altogether and Karen prayed that she could live up
to his expectations.
When Nikki awoke the next morning, she didn't know where she was. She was lying in a strange bed and
she was alone. Then the events of the evening came flooding back. Walking in on Tash and Kirstie,
leaving them in bed together and then turning up at Victoria's. Nikki struggled out of bed and looked at the
time. It was nearly ten o'clock. The amount of alcohol she'd consumed must have kept her asleep for hours.
As she wandered in to the kitchen she saw Victoria sitting at the table eating cereal and reading the paper.
"How did you sleep?" Asked Victoria, not taking her eyes off the article she was reading.
"Like a log," Said Nikki. "Must have been all that drink I had last night."
"There's some Alka-Seltzer near the kettle if you want it. I keep it there so as it's easy to find when I'm half
dead." Victoria knew she was failing at making light conversation but she hated awkward silences and
didn't really know what she could say to Nikki. Nikki grinned slightly as she made herself a coffee and put
some bread in the toaster.
"What are your plans for today?" Asked Victoria, instantly realising what a stupid question this was. Nikki
sat down at the table.
"do you mind if I smoke?" She said. Victoria got up to get an ashtray.
"Not at all. When things are that bad you'll often find me indulging myself." Nikki looked at her.
"I never would have thought of you as a smoker," She said slightly bemused.
"Well," Replied Victoria. "There's a lot you don't know about me." When Nikki had lit up, she said,
"I know I should talk to Tash, find out exactly why this has happened, but that's the last thing I want to do
right now. Just the thought of her with anyone else makes me furious! To be honest, all I want to do is go
over there and get some stuff to last me over the weekend, give me time to calm down a bit."
"You can stay here as long as you need too."
"Thanks," Said Nikki. "I'll try not to cramp your style for too long though."
"Look, Nikki, this isn't something that's going to be sorted out in a few days. It's going to get hard and it's
going to be difficult. All I'm saying is that you can crash here as long as you want too." Nikki didn't know
how to respond to this. She was touched at how concerned for her Victoria was. She'd only been working
with her for a couple of months but it felt like here was a true friend, someone she could count on.
After Nikki had eaten some toast and put off the inevitable for as long as possible, she walked round to the
house she'd shared with Tash for the last two years. Her little gray Forde was parked outside and she
patted it fondly as she walked passed. When Nikki let herself in, she encountered the oddest sight so far
this weekend. Tash was pacing the living-room, smoking. Tash never smoked. Not in all the time Nikki had
spent with her had Tash ever sparked up. Forgetting why she was there, Nikki just stood and stared. But
Nikki's sarcasm soon came to the fore.
"Well," She said. "They say things go in threes, I'm just wondering what the third unexpected thing is
going to be."
"What are you talking about?" Said Tash taking another long drag.
"First," Said Nikki, her voice dripping with ice. "I come home to find you in bed with another woman, and
second, I come home this morning to find you smoking."
"Nikki, I am so, so sorry."
"Really," Said Nikki lighting a cigarette of her own. "Do you know what hurts the most? It's not the fact
that you cheated, or even the fact that you've quite clearly been lying to me. The thing that really cuts me
in two was seeing just how good you looked together. I don't think I've ever seen you look so peaceful and
happy."
"I didn't mean this to happen," Said Tash quietly.
"Yes, you did," Responded Nikki. "You just didn't mean me to find out like that." Tash just looked at her in
silence. Nikki was right. Nikki went upstairs and started throwing her clothes in to bags. Tash had followed
her and stood in the bedroom doorway watching her.
"Where did you go last night?" She asked.
"Victorias."
"Is that where you're going now?"
"Yeah. So, anything important like I win the lottery, you know where I am."
"Nikki, we've got to talk about this." Nikki turned to face her, still holding a handful of bras in her hand.
"Listen, Tash, talking is about the last thing I want to do right now. I'm struggling to even accept that what
I saw last night was real, so don't come at me with all this let's talk about it crap because that isn't
something I can do. We will talk about everything, because I sure as hell need some answers, but it won't
be this weekend and probably not any time soon." After listening to this, Tash went back downstairs
because she couldn't face the sight of Nikki removing her possessions from their bedroom. She hadn't
wanted it to be like this. Tash had wanted to prepare Nikki slowly for what was coming, not thrust it upon
her with absolutely no warning. Nikki came downstairs and put three bags in to her car. When she
reappeared, Tash watched her take a couple of bottles of red from the wine rack in the kitchen, bottles
they'd bought together. Then Nikki went to the bookcase and took her copies of Romeo and Juliet, Oranges
Are Not The Only Fruit, and Sophie's World.
"Will you let me know what you're doing?" Asked Tash timidly.
"If anything happens like I crash the car, then yeah, I'll let you know. You'll still see me in work every day."
Then Nikki stopped and looked fully at Tash. "Do you know something, everyone who was there last night
knew about this. Yvonne definitely knew more about this than I did. Funny how blind a person can be."
Then she picked up her stock of Marlboros and walked out to her car.
When Nikki arrived back at Victoria's, she let herself in and left the two bottles of red in the kitchen. Victoria
had given her a spare key so that she could come and go as she pleased. Nikki began looking at Victoria's
books and Cds and was pleasantly surprised to find that Victoria had similar tastes to her in music and
fiction. Victoria returned around two having filled the car at the supermarket. Nikki helped her bring the
shopping in from the car and said,
"Jesus, you've bought enough to feed an army."
"Well, the cupboards and the fridge looked very bare this morning." Nikki threw together some sandwiches
as Victoria put everything away.
"How did it go?" She asked.
"Well, at least I know she's feeling bloody guilty about it," Said Nikki with a rueful smile. "When I arrived
she was chain smoking and Tash hasn't smoked in all the time I've known her." Nikki knew she was
avoiding talking about what mattered but she had to do this in order to stay sane.
Meanwhile, Karen was spending the afternoon doing everything possible to make her body feel and look
sexy. She wanted to give all she had tonight because she knew that if anything happened between her and
Mike, it would be special. As she lay in the bath, carefully varnishing her toenails, she wondered what it
would be like to sleep with Mike. Until the truth came out about Jim, she hadn't really thought of Mike as
anything more than a colleague whom she liked and respected. But he'd become such a good friend. He
was so warm and strong. She shivered luxuriously in the foamy water as she visualized how good he would
be. A man like him would have been around the world a few times sexually, and as she thought about his
long fingered hands, it was all she could do to keep her mind off the prospect of Mike's body and on the
task in hand. Later, as she sat in front of the mirror applying eye liner, she just hoped she would be good
enough for him. She'd always been more than good enough for Jim, but look at the long line of scrubbers
he'd spent time pleasuring. Mike was in a different class altogether and Karen prayed that she could live up
to his expectations.