Spoiler possibilities: Raistlin, post-Test of the Twins, pre- Second Generation/Dragons of Summer Flame

Summary: Raistlin POV. Basically, some of his thoughts as he transitions and deals with his past ambitions.

A/N: This fic is just...odd. Really reflective into Raistlin's personality, and kind of done as part of a character study. I guess. And although I didn't intend for it to be, it ended up rather bitter. Ignore my babbling and just read the fic...

I have followed the gods of magic all my life. White, red, and black, I have received power from them all. It was an evolution. An evolution they tell me could have been completed, but at the price of the world. They tell me it was utterly destroyed, and that in the end, I was all that was left, and that I would have become like the proverbial serpent, eating my own tail, never able to completely die.

So I gave up my dreams. I let them go, let the world and all its sad inhabitants continue their petty lives. With a future so meaningless, how could I wish to pursue it?

But sometimes I wonder, wouldn't it have been worth it? Not to serve any god, not have have to ask for power, but to be the very embodiment of power itself?

Although most days the knowledge that I did succeed is enough, sometimes I truly long to be that power, and I almost open myself up, almost let the glorious magic rush into me and infuse my very soul with life.

But I cannot do so any more. I remind myself of my fate: the serpent, seeing the end of the world, not simply with my cursed eyes, but in reality.

Invariably I will sigh, being careful not to start coughing. I may be free of many corporial concerns, but I am still an oddity; neither dead nor alive, but suspended in a sort of limbo where I am detained by the gods. They either fear me or pity me, and the old man does both.

Each day is the same here, so I, like so many of them, turn my eyes downward. It's funny, but while I was one, the lives of mortals seemed so petty and uninteresting. The men who lived them were dull and stupid, and the lives they lived were mere copies of each others'.

But now, those same dull people seem so diverse and active. It is no wonder the gods strive to preserve humanity; now that they have begun to watch the entertaining show, if it were to be removed, they would be lost. So they watch, and meddle, and bicker amongst one another over what course of action would be best for their entertainment to follow.

I merely watch life go by. I see the present and remember the past. I have nothing better to do.

Ok, that was really strange. I definitely haven't read any Dragonlance for about four years, and all of a sudden, my Raistlin obsession came back and hit me with a vengeance. As for this fic... About as strange as the circumstances. :::sighs::: I have a tendancy to ramble. Therefore, here, at least, Raistlin does too.

And I, like pretty much everyone else in the world, DESPISE this formatting! GAH!